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slave or sub - 6/5/2006 11:15:41 AM

irishwantsblkDom

Posts: 11
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline

I am a new sub never owned and with little experience. Why when I am approached on CM do Doms and Masters insist on calling me slave? Whats up with that? I had one Dom tell me its so you will become what you are called ????
Any insight into this would be helpful.
Thanks very much in advance.
irish

RE: slave or sub - 6/5/2006 11:23:10 AM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishwantsblkDom
I am a new sub never owned and with little experience. Why when I am approached on CM do Doms and Masters insist on calling me slave? Whats up with that? I had one Dom tell me its so you will become what you are called ????
Any insight into this would be helpful.
Thanks very much in advance.
irish

Cuz it sounds cooler to them and they want to make you feel like you're cooler if you're with them.

And because they are fairly rude people who think being a pushy dork is the same as being dominant and have no idea how to actually form a relationship so they try and force and manipulate you into one.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to irishwantsblkDom)

RE: slave or sub - 6/5/2006 11:53:30 AM

CollaredProperty

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishwantsblkDom

I am a new sub never owned and with little experience. Why when I am approached on CM do Doms and Masters insist on calling me slave? Whats up with that? I had one Dom tell me its so you will become what you are called ????
Any insight into this would be helpful.
Thanks very much in advance.
irish

Stand you grounds and be who you are. Too many times people are pushed into a mold or cookie cutter or morph themself into what they are NOT. Be true to yourself and you will always be happy. One day you will find the Right Man or Woman that will accept you for you and not try to change you.

slave susan.

_____________________________

slave susan
Under A Collar Of Consideration By Master L
Moved to Tulsa Oklahoma
"BDSM SLAVE ONLY, ALPHA TYPE, PASSION FOR EXTREME EDGE PLAY, IT IS NOT ABOUT SEX FOR ME, IT'S ABOUT TPE"

(in reply to irishwantsblkDom)

RE: slave or sub - 6/5/2006 2:16:00 PM

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishwantsblkDom
I am a new sub never owned and with little experience. Why when I am approached on CM do Doms and Masters insist on calling me slave? Whats up with that? I had one Dom tell me its so you will become what you are called ????
Any insight into this would be helpful.
Thanks very much in advance.
irish

Cuz it sounds cooler to them and they want to make you feel like you're cooler if you're with them.

And because they are fairly rude people who think being a pushy dork is the same as being dominant and have no idea how to actually form a relationship so they try and force and manipulate you into one.

Yup! What she said!

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: slave or sub - 6/5/2006 2:20:16 PM

Posts: 60
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

I must disagree with you have said . The word cooler ,sounds like you are a kid. And not all DOMS are the same . I myself do not call subs "slaves". I might call them "girl" or by there name . But it is up to her to say what she is called until she is owned . just my 2 cents.

MasterStoney442

Master wrote this.... He was under my nic and did not know it. Would have deleted it, and rewrote it under Masters name but i don't know how to do it.

rose442

< Message edited by rose442 -- 6/5/2006 2:59:00 PM >

_____________________________

This slave is Masters, heart, mind, soul, and body. To use as Master wishes, when Master wishes to do so.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: slave or sub - 6/5/2006 2:22:44 PM

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline

Read the forums, you can do a search for various topics but most important of all... Do what feels right for you. Don’t let some dork bully you into something you are not.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: slave or sub - 6/5/2006 3:03:41 PM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rose442
I must disagree with you have said . The word cooler ,sounds like you are a kid. And not all DOMS are the same . I myself do not call subs "slaves". I might call them "girl" or by there name . But it is up to her to say what she is called until she is owned . just my 2 cents.

I didn't say all doms were the same.

I said doms who insist on calling a person slave and try to convince the other person why they should call themselves a slave do so because

a) They think it sounds cooler
b) They want to convince the other person that they are cooler and will be cooler if they are with them

Now, if you asked them this directly, they'd likely deny it. But it really is part of their motivation.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to rose442)

RE: slave or sub - 6/5/2006 4:58:51 PM

Posts: 114
Joined: 5/3/2004
From: Omaha, Nebraska
Status: offline

Here’s My advice to you. And, this applies to anyone who is new in the lifestyle. Whether or not you are a sub or a slave is entirely between you and the one you are in a relationship with. More times than often, I have had this disagreement with more people than I can count. The question being, what is the difference between a submissive and a slave?

The difference is 5 letters. Many people will come up and say that a slave has no rights whatsoever, and that a submissive does. I have filled the Dominant role for about 13 years now in this particular lifestyle, and during that time, there is no person who can tell Me whether or not the submissive partner I am with is a submissive or a slave. There is no book, website, chat room, message board, group, or individual that can define the dynamics of My relationship.

If I am with a submissive partner, and I should choose to identify that partner as a slave, then what difference does it make, so long as that person and I both agree? In our relationship, we are the only two people that matter. So long as that partner fulfills what I seek our interactions, then why does a word matter? The words submissive and slave are just that, words. It’s not the word, it’s what the word implies. Just because I choose to call someone a slave, and give that person rights, doesn’t make then any less of a slave.

All slaves have rights. You have the right to free speech, religion, the right to vote, the right to bear arms, the right to a speedy trial, the right to remain silent, to the right to an attorney, and many, many others that are guaranteed to us by our laws of Government. Atop of that, they also have whatever freedoms and rights that are agreed upon within our relationship. That doesn’t make them any less of a slave. Any person who tries to tell you different is flat out wrong, and I challenge them to prove that whomever I choose to call a slave does not have rights.

My advice is, don’t focus on a title. Focus on the factor of compatibility within the dynamic of the relationship. Chances are, the one who thinks you don’t have rights, and that you are just a piece of meat, wouldn’t be compatible with you anyway.

~ LD

(in reply to irishwantsblkDom)

RE: slave or sub - 6/5/2006 5:15:59 PM

Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

Just do what you do and forget the labels

(in reply to irishwantsblkDom)

RE: slave or sub - 6/5/2006 5:35:05 PM

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

Fast reply answer: They are all idjits! 99% of everybody you will ever meet is, at least some of the time, a complete and total idjit. On a website like this, there appears to be a call for idjitcy. People believe they have a liscense to commit aggrivated idjitcy.

Ignore them and move on. They've done you a favor - they've spontaneously weeded themselves out of the running by proving that they are utter idjits.

I'm willing to bet my favorite pair of polkadotted silk knickers that nearly everybody else who has responded so far will tell you some variation of the same.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to irishwantsblkDom)

RE: slave or sub - 6/5/2006 7:36:37 PM

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I've had several tell me the same thing, but I always tell them...I am submissive, not a slave. Some of them that I have talked to want to tell me what I am...lol....aint gonna happen....Don't let them bully you!

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to Suleiman)

RE: slave or sub - 6/7/2006 11:18:08 PM

Posts: 423
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

irish,

I have talked to hundreds of subs in chatrooms/pm's or emails and never have called any of them a slave. How do I know they are a slave without asking them or knowing them? They might be submissive but not a slave in their eyes.

If I call someone something it is usually their signature or screen name not slave or sub. Hell, they're not my slave or sub. If i were emailing you or PMing you I would call you irish, just like your signature.

There are a lot of players online and a lot of them has never Dommed anything except their hand.

_____________________________

XxMasterChasxX

(in reply to irishwantsblkDom)

RE: slave or sub - 6/8/2006 12:42:27 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

Slave, Sub, Whatever.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to irishwantsblkDom)

RE: slave or sub - 6/8/2006 2:45:45 AM

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

Because they are either:

a. Whankers
b. HNG's

Ignore them and move on.

Or, since I liked it so much. . . c. Idjits. LOL

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to Arpig)

RE: slave or sub - 6/8/2006 3:01:17 AM

Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline

Are the "Doms" contacting you Goreans? A "Master" or "Mistress"(or other terms, "Sir, Lord"..etc) are terms used by a submissive upon agreement with him/her,etc). Anyone who tells you to call them "Master/Mistress" without you knowing them...kick to the curb as a HNG.

_____________________________

What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller

(in reply to LaMalinche)

RE: slave or sub - 6/8/2006 3:02:58 AM

Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
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Laughs at bit..if a HNG told me to call him "Master" just because he was a Dom...LMAO....you could see me rolling on the floor laughing__>

_____________________________

What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller

(in reply to irishbynature)

RE: slave or sub - 6/8/2006 8:34:00 AM

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

quote:

Cuz it sounds cooler to them and they want to make you feel like you're cooler if you're with them.

Thanks for the perfect and succinct answer, I am going to steal this one rather than my usual long winded one. Perfect answer for "European houses" "true" "real" "old guard" "strict" and a host of other crap.

(in reply to irishbynature)

RE: slave or sub - 6/8/2006 8:35:49 AM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom
Thanks for the perfect and succinct answer, I am going to steal this one rather than my usual long winded one. Perfect answer for "European houses" "true" "real" "old guard" "strict" and a host of other crap.

Yup and thanks.

BTW you have a striking resemblance to a popular scene person around here, who was actually the first person I ever topped. Not that I want to top you, but you certainly make CA even more desireable.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CrappyDom)

RE: slave or sub - 6/8/2006 8:39:22 AM

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Nice picture but I must tell you that it has totally blown my perceived image of you out of the water. Now that I know you are not the Poindexter type of cartoon character I envisioned I'm going to be forced to take your posts more seriously....lol.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to CrappyDom)

RE: slave or sub - 6/8/2006 9:06:10 AM

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishwantsblkDom

I am a new sub never owned and with little experience. Why when I am approached on CM do Doms and Masters insist on calling me slave? Whats up with that? I had one Dom tell me its so you will become what you are called ????
Any insight into this would be helpful.
Thanks very much in advance.
irish

To answer ( or try to guess) what each dom is thinking when he addresses someone as slave, would be futile. The question to ask (imo) is how does it make *you* feel. Do you like it? Dislike it? Feel indifferent about it? If you dont like it, then tell him. If he's not your Master and *insists* on calling you slave when you've told him that you dont like it, then cut him off and move on.

Personally I dont like being called slave by a stranger. But if a stranger emails me and uses the term 'girl', I like it; where others might find it rude. My point being you have to decide whether or not its acceptable to you based on how *you* feel about it, not based on all of our opinions of what each of these men might be thinking when they use the term.

Ps: Many, if not most, will address you by name or by your nick. And once you 'sign' an email a certain way, they will usually pick up on that, then address you that way in their next note. That has been my experience anyway.

Hope this helps.

(in reply to irishwantsblkDom)

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