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ORIGINAL: niea

So im a switch usually dom
but when around the right person i melt into a submissive pile of goo :p
well there is this guy i like,
havd known him for years and usually acted submissive around him,

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is there any way to "sense" a dominant guy

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ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

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The best, meanest, hold-you-down-and-fuck-you-roughly folks won't be anything past polite without your explicit consent.

This reminds me of something that happened when I lived in NYC, before I met Libby. I was in Eulenspiegel, but I also placed an advertisement in New York Magazine that yielded date with a number of women. Since these were initial meeting with what I thought were vanilla women, I kept my "dominance" under tight rein during them.

One of them later turned up at Eulenspiegel, I didn't notice her until I heard a roar of laughter from a group of women off to one side. Later, I asked one of my friends, who had been part of the group, what happened.

She laughed and recounted that the woman had been talking to the group about the Scene life when she'd seen me. Her comment had been, "Oh, I know him. He's too submissive."

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Cigarette burns without explicit consent says "psychopath" to me more than "dominant" to me, but I admit that I'm biased - I've had minor burns leave scars that lasted for years.

You need to learn to negotiate, niea. You don't need to "ask him what he is." You've made it clear that you like having painful things done to you. He has pretty clearly indicated that he might like to do those things to you. If you want him to top you, get together when you're both sober, and ask him-flat out if he would like to do some things to you. If he is as inexperienced as you're making him seem here, you will have to teach him about safewords and limits, and give him some tools to negotiate a safe scene.

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If he is as inexperienced as you're making him seem here, you will have to teach him about safewords and limits, and give him some tools to negotiate a safe scene.