RE: Sensitive penis (Full Version)

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kalikshama -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/3/2012 3:44:50 PM)

quote:

And i didn't mention all of this before, but why would he ask me to be under his consideration, invite me to a dinner with friends, go to play parties with me as His sub, go to my choir concert (and meet my mother there), ask me to write him feedback each time we have scenes/Ds interractions, if he wasn't "that into me" ...?


I've been in intense D/s relationships where there wasn't any traditional sex - it wasn't that they weren't into me, but that they weren't into oral or intercourse.

So if you've been scening for a while yet not having sex, I'm not optimistic about your chances of having much sex in the future.



VideoAdminGamma -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 3:03:19 AM)

My apologies, when moving this topic to the correct area I accidentally hid it.

Thank you for being a part of CollarMe,
VideoAdminGamma



HomeQueen -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 5:29:34 AM)

This sounds very much like my husband was. He would hit the roof if I touched the tip of his penis and he said it was extremely sensitive. He had also never been able to retract his foreskin and like you mentioned when he masturbated it was always 'through' the foreskin. We had always used condoms (as he had with his only previous partner) but when we stopped using them we found it would be painful for him to have sex because of the friction pulling on the foreskin - and a couple of times he was in agony after it got forced back behing his glans. I practically marched him to a Doctor (he wouldn't have gone otherwise) and lo and behold it turned out he did have a medical condition called phimosis, and eventually he had to be circumcised.

Moral of this story - if your man is so sensitive its interfering with sex the he really ought to see a Doctor rather than you two just trying to find a way to "deal with" the problem. It could be that that's just how he is, but if there is a problem its better to deal with it now rather than later - if my husband had seen a Doctor when he was younger one of the alternative treatments may have worked.



Killerangel -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 6:41:09 AM)

That's quite interesting HomeQueen, I'd never heard of that condition before. I did think the OP's partner was hiding something from her at first, but perhaps not. I looked up phimosis and it does seem as though it may be this man's problem.

Good point as well on saying he's going to want to take care of it now, rather than deal with it for a lifetime. Finding strategies around it or to work with it is good, but perhaps that should be a secondary concern after asking for a professional opinion on what is going on there. This is an extreme example, but if you were blind, wouldn't you want to find out why, and see if it could be helped before you resigned yourself to living life without sight and simply adjusting to it? If that were your fate then yes....by all means make the best of it, but if there is something to be done, then find out what it is so you can make an informed choice about how your life will be lived.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 8:00:45 AM)

I have heard of phimosis, and often circumcision is the only solution. Horrid to deal with that as an adult! Nasty healing time.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 9:37:23 AM)

Very interesting, HomeQueen. I had never heard of that condition. Thanks for sharing that story.

To the OP,
If HomeQueen is correct, it still goes back to the point that I made about seeing a doctor. There is likely a medical solution to your problem. You shouldn't just ignore it and try to work around it.

BTW, I hate to stereotype men, but since I am one, I'm going to do it anyway. We men are often very reluctant to go to see a doctor. Personally, if one of my limbs isn't about to fall off, then I prefer to just "suck it up" and live with the problem, rather than go to see a doctor. Many men are like that. Most married women will tell you that they practically have to drag their husbands to the doctor's office.

Wouldn't it be better to get him checked out, instead of just accepting his sensitive penis and living with it?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 9:40:01 AM)

It's true, men are very reluctant to seek medical care and when it's about anything in the "down there" area? Well!




TNDommeK -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 10:05:12 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

Very interesting, HomeQueen. I had never heard of that condition. Thanks for sharing that story.

To the OP,
If HomeQueen is correct, it still goes back to the point that I made about seeing a doctor. There is likely a medical solution to your problem. You shouldn't just ignore it and try to work around it.

BTW, I hate to stereotype men, but since I am one, I'm going to do it anyway. We men are often very reluctant to go to see a doctor. Personally, if one of my limbs isn't about to fall off, then I prefer to just "suck it up" and live with the problem, rather than go to see a doctor. Many men are like that. Most married women will tell you that they practically have to drag their husbands to the doctor's office.

Wouldn't it be better to get him checked out, instead of just accepting his sensitive penis and living with it?


This^. And even if it is falling off he thinks he can glue it back on before going to the doctor's office.



Karmastic -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 1:52:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

Very interesting, HomeQueen. I had never heard of that condition. Thanks for sharing that story.

To the OP,
If HomeQueen is correct, it still goes back to the point that I made about seeing a doctor. There is likely a medical solution to your problem. You shouldn't just ignore it and try to work around it.

BTW, I hate to stereotype men, but since I am one, I'm going to do it anyway. We men are often very reluctant to go to see a doctor. Personally, if one of my limbs isn't about to fall off, then I prefer to just "suck it up" and live with the problem, rather than go to see a doctor. Many men are like that. Most married women will tell you that they practically have to drag their husbands to the doctor's office.

Wouldn't it be better to get him checked out, instead of just accepting his sensitive penis and living with it?


This^. And even if it is falling off he thinks he can glue it back on before going to the doctor's office.

lol! reminds me of a recent dream, where my feet somehow became disconnected, yet i was able to jam them back in and sort of be okay. glad i woke up!



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 2:02:09 PM)

My son was diagnosed with phimosis shortly after he was born. At that point we still had not decided on the circumcision issue, which was taken out of our hands. Per the pediatrician, he had to be circumcised, and the sooner the better.






littlewonder -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 2:56:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I have heard of phimosis, and often circumcision is the only solution. Horrid to deal with that as an adult! Nasty healing time.


My nephew had this and had to be circumcised at age 16. The poor boy was in soooo much pain. Can you just imagine a 16 year old boy, at the peak of his sexuality. I felt so bad for him.




ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 3:16:09 PM)

Very bad for him, and not just physically.

They told us they could not guarantee this would ever be a problem for our son, but we opted for not taking the chance. I hated watching him get snipped, but let's face it, for a mother, there isn't a time that will be easy.



Politesub53 -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 4:43:20 PM)

I also have a very sensetive penis, it cried when I first saw "Titanic" and starts to weep at anything with Scarlet Johansson in it. It also got very emmotional when my soccer team lost 2-0 during the week. My Doctor has suggested Viagra to perk it up, is this the new Prozac ?

[8D]



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 4:50:43 PM)

Yes.

Oh crap, just realized "weep" could have a whole other meaning. Hard to tell with you Brits.

I meant, weep as in cry. From tears. Out of the eye.

Oh fuck.

NM>



Politesub53 -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 4:54:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Yes.

Oh crap, just realized "weep" could have a whole other meaning. Hard to tell with you Brits.

I meant, weep as in cry. From tears. Out of the eye.

Oh fuck.

NM>


Opps my bad. I hope I havent spoiled your weekend. [;)]



tsuta -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 5:39:03 PM)

whoa, well, what an interesting thread this has become ^^;

i didn't think people would go on tangents and dramatize so much about this (saying this guy is hiding things from me, etc, that he might need to be cut, ouch, whoa)

anyway thanks just the same... some of it intertained me at least.

if we didn't have sex yet it's a lot because *i* insisted on that at first. I guess with insight i understand more why he agreed so easily, part of it must have been that but from what i know about him,
i believe it was also part for the same reasons as me, not wanting to go too fast ect ...i mean he actually told me that he felt too that it was better to get to know each other better first. I could mistrust him about this like people seem to be telling me but i really have no reasons to. He's not a guy i met online recently, like i said before. He's someone i've know for a while now.

It's funny, because i've recently come
to the conclusion that in the past, i've been sexual too fast with guys, fell in love with them only to never have my interest returned. Now i'm taking my time with a guy who's respecting me, and people think it's a sign that he's not into me lol.

Some people actually PMed me some helpful advices and links, and i'll go with that for now, as well as more communication with him as it becomes necessary but i'm not even seeing him this weekend
and i can wait til i see him in person to talk about stuff like that. As for telling him he should see a doctor, well, i'm curious to wait until we actually do get sexual, see how it goes, to which extent he's really sensitive etc.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 5:56:19 PM)

[sm=alien.gif]



Karmastic -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 5:57:22 PM)

DETAILS! well, fergit everythang i said b4 [:)] [8D]



tsuta -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 5:58:53 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic


quote:

ORIGINAL: tsuta
And i don't think it's really extreme (i mean he says with lube it's okay. And maybe he's not ALWAYS that sensitive, i didn't ask him that)

but it's not like i think he has a medical condition. Everyone's different, right? Some people are ticklish, others aren't... he's very, very ticklish btw.. to an extent where it's really not fun for him to be tickled and i have to be careful when i caress his belly/waist. Maybe all his skin is more sensitive than the norm, who knows...)

I'm with TNDommeK and Roch Sub, but agree, we don't know the reasons.

Right, everyone's different. Wrong, this IS a medical condition (probably very treatable/manageable). Or as others suggested, it could be a variety of issues.

It could be a psychological issue. It's not absurd or out of the realm of possibilities that he's using his dom control to avoid having sex.

I think you should amp up the communication with him a bit. If you're both really becoming more serious, than he needs to be upfront with you about what he already knows and is holding back. Someone else alluded to that - he must have seen doctors already!

You seem like a very sweet wonderful person who's excited about this relationship, and I admire that (vicarious pleasures). So please don't take offense, when i say it in the strongest terms that I think your apparent lack of knowledge of his true circumstances is scary, and you're romanticizing it by filling in all the gaps in his "story". Forgive me for my daddy-side kicking in, but honey, I'm not very optimistic about your relationship with him.

But this can be a learning/growing experience that you need to go through regardless of what people tell you (you need to be able to fail on your own, daddy can't and shouldn't save you from that).

/daddy


thanks for the concern, i'm aware that i don't know everything about him but we're working on that ;) in the past maybe i've stressed out too much about getting to know someone. This time i'm going with the flow with that guy. And i'm able to do that because i trust him. It's not exact science but ever since i met him, i had the gut feeling that he could be trusted. I learned to trust others before but it's been a while since i felt with all my instincts that i could trust someone from the start like that so i dunno, but i feel like that counts for something. Others, i wasn't so quick to feel like that (some guys i've known it took a long time, to feel not even total trust), with some i always had a remaining wariness even while been totaly infactuated with them, that i don't have at all with this guy. The wariness i felt before always ended up being founded in some ways or another. And whenever i didn't feel that wariness and just totally trusted a guy (which happened, oh, 2-3 times in my life so far, counting my first and only vanilla -or otherwise- boyfriend), i always ended up never being disappointed or having a reason to lose my trust in them.

So i dunno, i think i have pretty good instincts, when i don't ignore them because of hormones...



Karmastic -> RE: Sensitive penis (5/4/2012 6:38:38 PM)

your prior post about how you've known him doesn't speak to knowing his most intimate details.

and what you're now describing is simply you falling in love - that's all good.

part of the point is that this may be blinding you to obvious things. like, how is it that a grown man has this very severe issue for decades, and as never once plunked out his dick in front of a doctor, who would discover the issue upon seeing the reaction to the first touch.

that's why we suggest it might be other reasons, such as the medical condition being discussed at length here, or a psychological issue (sexual issues), or both (many types of erectile dysfunctions). we said this because your own initial words made it seem very odd that you hadn't had sex; i presume that's why you top posted this thread, but now you're backpedaling and discounting. yes, hormones make us do dumb things - stiff dicks and wet pussies have low IQs.



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