Why I Don't Go to Church.

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Why I Don't Go to Church. - 5/28/2012 1:36:38 PM

MissAsylum

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The last few months have been a bit...freeing for me. The only thing i have done differently: i have stopped attending church.

Have I lost faith in God? No, not by a long shot. I have simply lost faith in the institution that is church. Same as religion, the "physical" church is man made. As with all things made by man, it is full of flaws.

I have been attending the same church since I was 9 or so. Like most kids who are in religious households, Sunday mornings were filled with dread for me. Getting up early, putting on nice clothes to impress nobody as far as I was concerned. I wanted to learn about God, but I hated the process to get there.

Then as I got older, around the high school age, I started to like church. My cousins and my younger brother was going as well, so it was lovely to have somebody to talk to and understand.

Things (in my head) were so nice to the point that I was interested in taking on more responsibilities in the church as they came my way.

I actually wanted to teach Sunday school (specifically the middle and high school classes).

This required me to be trained- go to teaching symposiums, learn how to plan lessons, all that.

I was up to the task, no problem.

Around this time, my cousins went away for college, and i went to a local school. So i was by myself. No matter- there are youth in the church I should be able to get along with. I'm a people person.

Youth retreats turned into the very bane of my existence from ages 14 to 17: HIGH SCHOOL. Drama. The adults were absolutely NO better. Actually, they were worse, because they should KNOW better. I actually remember being taught about gossip being bad (i didn't need the bible or church for that) during a lesson....somewhere in the first chapter of Romans. However, it seems that ALL people did was gossip and otherwise meddle in everybody's business but theirs. So tacky.

Back to teaching, I was generally taught to always reference the bible when there is a question. Ok, that seems all well and good, but try answering questions and having a bible quote at the ready.

What do I say to somebody who is under threat to join a gang and their family is at risk? What do I say to the person who is carrying a baby and they were raped, but is emotionally unable to go through with it?

"Read yada yada yada?"

No.

I'm going to give the best advice I know how. Why? I have been in the same situation as these people or have seen it happen to somebody else.

The best thing I can do is be honest, not skirt around the issue. I was verbally bashed to my face and behind my back for just being real.

That wasn't good enough, so I stepped down from teach, and packed in going to church all together.

Through doing that, I have found myself to be more spiritual than religious, and closer to my God, more than I had ever been while attending church.

Will I go back? Who knows?

Right now, I know church isn't for me.

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RE: Why I Don't Go to Church. - 5/28/2012 5:19:36 PM

DarkSteven

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It's your place to decide what your path will be.

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RE: Why I Don't Go to Church. - 5/28/2012 6:46:32 PM

Mistresspennymae

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Good for you!!!!
Church is not a place of mortar and stone. It is created when like minded people come together to share about their individual relationships with their God.
You can not develop a relationship with God by only reading about other peoples relationships. You have to open your mouth and your heart You have to get to know Him and allow Him to get to know you.

My favorite quote: The righteous do not always do right but their souls remain pure.

J.R. Ward.

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RE: Why I Don't Go to Church. - 5/28/2012 7:34:35 PM

MissAsylum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistresspennymae

Good for you!!!!
Church is not a place of mortar and stone. It is created when like minded people come together to share about their individual relationships with their God.
You can not develop a relationship with God by only reading about other peoples relationships. You have to open your mouth and your heart You have to get to know Him and allow Him to get to know you.

My favorite quote: The righteous do not always do right but their souls remain pure.

J.R. Ward.

i really like that quote.

church seemed to strike me as everything BUT what its meant to be, so why should i be there?

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RE: Why I Don't Go to Church. - 5/29/2012 12:19:08 PM

Mistresspennymae

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Church is not a place. When you are enjoying your relationship with God and sharing that joy with others you are in Church. It is more a state of being. It is not Church that you have a problem with it is the state of being that people put you in when you are trying to be in a state of Church that gives you the scratch.

Sorry if that was a little too vulgar.

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RE: Why I Don't Go to Church. - 5/29/2012 1:40:10 PM

MissAsylum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistresspennymae

Church is not a place. When you are enjoying your relationship with God and sharing that joy with others you are in Church. It is more a state of being. It is not Church that you have a problem with it is the state of being that people put you in when you are trying to be in a state of Church that gives you the scratch.

Sorry if that was a little too vulgar.

vulgar? lol no way.

what i had meant is that church is essentially what you said: a state of being. when there is so much emphasis on a physical building, it goes against what its supposed to be, in my mind at least.

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RE: Why I Don't Go to Church. - 5/29/2012 2:28:41 PM

DarkSteven

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You may want to see if a synagogue works better.

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RE: Why I Don't Go to Church. - 5/29/2012 6:23:20 PM

MissAsylum

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In your experience, why do think that may be a better alternative?

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

You may want to see if a synagogue works better.

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RE: Why I Don't Go to Church. - 5/30/2012 12:34:47 PM

Mistresspennymae

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Are you suggesting a synagogue as in the building that those of Jewish ancestry like to gather or the Jewish faith itself?

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RE: Why I Don't Go to Church. - 6/6/2012 12:32:56 PM

Diormat

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I think there's a big difference between religion and faith. Personally, I've no faith in God and I never have had. So I've never been to a church, other than to walk round them when I have a spare moment: as bricks and mortar buildings they are curious things. Particularly in England. I can remember my uncle telling me a few things about the bible and the design of churches: their spires being like rockets pointed to the heavens. Many of the old ones built in England were from the Norman period: they were a means of showing the wealth of those who commissioned them. Like the castles constructed just after the battle of Hastings: they were built to demonstrate the power of the new Norman nobles over their subjects. And I guess they strike me, not just as having a social significance, but a political one as well. Just how true this is over the water is hard for me to say: I'm not as familiar with American history and society.

It's worth reading the bible, however, to understand the point of Religious organisations. In Leviticus, for example, it says that an animal sacrifice is necessary to appease God for the sins of the individual: but that the priests were permitted to keep a part of that sacrifice, almost as payment for their services. Fast forward to medieval England, and you have priests claiming to be able to "absolve" members of their congregation in a exchange for a "healthy donation". It should be no surprise that the richest members of Jewish society during Jesus' time were the priests. Funny thing about the bible is that it discourages faith in humanity and I sometimes wonder if this is not reflected by some of the policies churches follow: at this time in our history a belief in each other could not be more important.

Everything has a history, a story behind it: but it gets forgotten. Even if I was to have a religious epiphany, I would still remain suspicious, if not outright hostile, to religious organisations: a knowledge of the past would get in the way of trusting them. Burning the faithful, ripping them off, is not nearly as bad as examples where people have been burnt to death for their heretical views. God didn't do this: People from churches did, commanded their congregation and demanded laws to see these acts committed: even today some encourage bigoted views among their congregation. Faith might be considered one of the better and more noble of human characteristics. To see this seemingly exploited for the sake of profit, or to incite hatred against others is extremely distasteful.

A personal belief in God seems cool. I personally find I agree with the sentiments of the christian philosophy. These may not be the reasons why you left the church. But they're good enough reasons for people to never attend.

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RE: Why I Don't Go to Church. - 6/6/2012 2:32:10 PM

LadyPact

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What an excellent thread! I'm almost disappointed that it is in this section, rather than another, but I also understand the choice of it's location. The drawback of that decision is that the reader must ask themselves how literally the "creativity" part was taken into account and whether the writing is fact, fiction, or a combination of the two?

While My experiences do not parallel your own in severity, you have certainly touched the fringes of reasons why I feel the same of attendance in church. Going with generalities, rather than specifics, I think you have tapped into a segment of people of faith who do not attend services quite well. I enjoyed reading it a great deal.

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