RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant

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Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 3:48:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gothinisity I will not. Everyone is allowed their own opinion, my point was more aimed at the fact that I won't date a submissive male because I just can't see them in that way. More over confirming what I was saying about the site being used as a dating site. I'm well past the whole romanticized idealism. I am perfectly content having a relationship with somebody that's based without Love as well I am with Love. What's important to me is that I have some sanity and I'm getting what I want, need and desire out of it. I'm also pretty confident about finding somebody to use as play toy to discard with after I'm done (They don't have to be dating material). At the moment, I'm not in love nor even have an infatuation for anybody. It's rather liberating.

landrezy -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 4:00:23 PM)
I see no reason why this sight can't be used for dating. I don't see a lot of success on that front but there is no reason why it can't be. For the more that 50% vanilla, the idea of dating your dom/sub could be quite convenient. Not everyone is committed to BDSM as a lifestyle, for some it is only a facet of their lives. That list, however, is a goofball, Dr. Phil, oversimplification of something that should be worked out between two consenting adults. And, it forgot the blowjob and a beating aspect.

lizi -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 4:01:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gothinisity I will not. Everyone is allowed their own opinion, my point was more aimed at the fact that I won't date a submissive male because I just can't see them in that way. More over confirming what I was saying about the site being used as a dating site. So....what's wrong with using this site as a dating site? Why can't people use it however they like? Why do you care what others use it for? I always wonder why people fling about that comment about it being a dating site like it's horrible. The crap about submissive men was uncalled for and childish, on par with any other type of judgmental profiling, stereotyping, and prejudice. No different than slamming someone for their race. What you did here wasn't express your opinion about them as a group, it was slander. If you don't know the difference between expressing an opinion and aggressively putting people down with malicious intent, then simply be quiet till you've grown up enough to manage being a civil human being. I can't be absolutely sure, but I don't think any of the submissive men here will mourn being out of your dating pool.

PeonForHer -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 4:10:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gothinisity I will not. Everyone is allowed their own opinion, my point was more aimed at the fact that I won't date a submissive male because I just can't see them in that way. More over confirming what I was saying about the site being used as a dating site. Fair enough, Gothinsity. I do understand that your saying that submissive males were not real men was just a small point that you made only in passing. No reason any of us here should should argue about it, eh? Jesus. I don't demand that a woman be as strong as I am in order that I submit to her, if I like her well enough. I mean, really, I'd be pretty much stuffing my chances if I were to demand it. But you - no matter how hard I'd try to convince myself that you had something, it would never, ever work. God, you remind me of how small and pointless some females can be. Have you any idea at all of what damage you do to the entire world of femdom/malesub your cretinous words can do? 'Pearls before swine' doesn't begin to cut it, you silly, dimwitted, stuffed-up little pretentious fartess. You are not worth any man's submission. You are not even worth any man. Note to Mod: Gothinisity did say that everyone is entitled to their opinion, did she not? Fair enough that I should reply with mine, eh?

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 4:12:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml quote: ORIGINAL: Gothinisity Everyone is allowed their own opinion You are absolutely right. And you are totally free to express your opinion that submissive men aren't real men. Just as others ought, as I'm sure you'd agree, to be free to express the opinion that only a total jackass would make a statement like that. Crazyml, I understand her mindset and POV rather well. Most of my Ex's have this same mindset. Including a Dominant one which I lived with 24/7 for a good while. This mindset is rather subjective/relative in nature. Personally, I don't think/feel this way about submissive men. However, the mindset did not upset the balance of things between me and them (did not cause any conflict). Is this mindset rather Biased? You Betcha your ass it is. I've rolled with perfectly good jackasses like this.... (more fun than a barrel full of monkeys too). The point she's driving home is about one of having respect. She simply does not have respect for somebody that she knows will let them walk all over them. Sure she's a Dominant orientation, because dare I suspect and guess here... that that is her true personality. Which makes it even harder for her to find somebody she can respect. So in part, she has her own set of frustrations in finding somebody she'd seriously consider dating. Some times, you need to look a little deeper under the surface of Jaded sounding judgmental words like this. There's always an underlying reason to what makes people tick the way they do. To be fair and honest, I've tended to have more respect for women which were Dominant compared to submissive. Some of the submissive I've encountered or dated... well... I ended up setting free back into the wild where I've found them. Some of them even turned a little stalkerish for my taste. There are days, when I perhaps question if I should be looking for Dom couple relationship compared to D/s. About the only combination which I know won't work is D/s with me being on the submissive side of the coin. Some people have this notion that Girls like her are looking for extremely superficial macho guys, the kind which are over compensation for their shit. Damn, I'm seriously going out on a limb her because this is the Vibe I have here about things. My Spidey senses might be a little off today, however won't be the first time I missed my mark and landed on my ass. crazyml, It's not like you've never been a bit of a jackass on here from time to time either. I know I can be a jackass myself and hell even have made as ass out of myself. I say we aim high for honesty instead of PCness anyways.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 4:15:55 PM)
For the record, I dare venture to guess she get's off on using subbie men in humiliating ways for her own kicks and twisted pleasures. Which makes sense, in a weird way, when you think about her true mentality about sub males as dating material.

LadyPact -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 4:15:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gothinisity I will not. Everyone is allowed their own opinion, my point was more aimed at the fact that I won't date a submissive male because I just can't see them in that way. More over confirming what I was saying about the site being used as a dating site. You're entitled to it. Just the same as you're entitled to being wrong if you are singling out a particular individual. Hey, I don't "date" either. Some people mix dating and BDSM and I just accept that they are different than Me. The fact that I'd rather beat someone's ass than go to a movie just means that we each have a different approach.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 4:17:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml quote: ORIGINAL: Gothinisity Everyone is allowed their own opinion You are absolutely right. And you are totally free to express your opinion that submissive men aren't real men. Just as others ought, as I'm sure you'd agree, to be free to express the opinion that only a total jackass would make a statement like that. Crazyml, I understand her mindset and POV rather well. Most of my Ex's have this same mindset. Including a Dominant one which I lived with 24/7 for a good while. This mindset is rather subjective/relative in nature. Personally, I don't think/feel this way about submissive men. However, the mindset did not upset the balance of things between me and them (did not cause any conflict). Is this mindset rather Biased? You Betcha your ass it is. I've rolled with perfectly good jackasses like this.... (more fun than a barrel full of monkeys too). The point she's driving home is about one of having respect. She simply does not have respect for somebody that she knows will let them walk all over them. Sure she's a Dominant orientation, because dare I suspect and guess here... that that is her true personality. Which makes it even harder for her to find somebody she can respect. So in part, she has her own set of frustrations in finding somebody she'd seriously consider dating. Some times, you need to look a little deeper under the surface of Jaded sounding judgmental words like this. There's always an underlying reason to what makes people tick the way they do. To be fair and honest, I've tended to have more respect for women which were Dominant compared to submissive. Some of the submissive I've encountered or dated... well... I ended up setting free back into the wild where I've found them. Some of them even turned a little stalkerish for my taste. There are days, when I perhaps question if I should be looking for Dom couple relationship compared to D/s. About the only combination which I know won't work is D/s with me being on the submissive side of the coin. Some people have this notion that Girls like her are looking for extremely superficial macho guys, the kind which are over compensation for their shit. Damn, I'm seriously going out on a limb her because this is the Vibe I have here about things. My Spidey senses might be a little off today, however won't be the first time I missed my mark and landed on my ass. crazyml, It's not like you've never been a bit of a jackass on here from time to time either. I know I can be a jackass myself and hell even have made as ass out of myself. I say we aim high for honesty instead of PCness anyways. No. Just, no. But what do I know, just a dominant woman who doesn't feel like tromping on entire demographics for the hell of it.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 4:18:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml quote: ORIGINAL: Gothinisity Everyone is allowed their own opinion You are absolutely right. And you are totally free to express your opinion that submissive men aren't real men. Just as others ought, as I'm sure you'd agree, to be free to express the opinion that only a total jackass would make a statement like that. From her profile quote: My time is precious, no you cannot pay to have sex with me, I don't have sex with people I consider pathetic . But you may buy my time and attention. They aint men, they are moneybags with dicks attached! And some wonder why findommes get such a bad rap on here.

fetisheden -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 4:26:42 PM)
right quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl The OP has nothing to do with being submissive, or BDSM D/s. It's just straight up relationship stuff whether it's vanilla or something else. Not exactly ground breaking.

crazyml -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 4:29:21 PM)
OKies... let's start with this... quote: crazyml, It's not like you've never been a bit of a jackass on here from time to time either. I know I can be a jackass myself and hell even have made as ass out of myself. You're too right, I've been a jackass on numerous occasions, and expect to be called on it. And (although I wouldn't be willing to go to the trouble of proving it) I'm pretty sure I could demonstrate that when I've said something really gobsmackingly stupid, or made an eye-wateringly cuntish generalisation and someone has called me on it, I will generally have the manners to take it on the chin. quote: The point she's driving home is about one of having respect. She simply does not have respect for somebody that she knows will let them walk all over them. Sure she's a Dominant orientation, because dare I suspect and guess here... that that is her true personality. Which makes it even harder for her to find somebody she can respect. So in part, she has her own set of frustrations in finding somebody she'd seriously consider dating. Woah.... you're not saying that all submissive men would let a dominant woman walk over them are ya? I can't believe you are. quote: Some times, you need to look a little deeper under the surface of Jaded sounding judgmental words like this. There's always an underlying reason to what makes people tick the way they do. Oh sure, and sometimes that underlying reason that makes a person tick the way they do is the fact that they're a cunt. quote: I say we aim high for honesty instead of PCness anyways. Totally - I couldn't agree more! As I said, I'll defend her right to say stupid shit like that even if it isn't PC. Just as I'd hope she'd defend my right to say that I think it's a load of bollocks.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 4:30:21 PM)
And all of the above is why I dig our crazy. Extra sprinkles!

PeonForHer -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 4:37:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub They aint men, they are moneybags with dicks attached! And some wonder why findommes get such a bad rap on here. Ah - I hadn't checked her profile. I get the standard picture of very well off men, pandering to a silly girl's belief that she has power over them in order to get their rocks off. Thirty minutes later, off they go, to run the lives of women just like her. Oh well. My usual opinion holds: seller and customers absolutely deserve each other. All a bit dismal - and all not my world.

LadyPact -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 4:44:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 There are days, when I perhaps question if I should be looking for Dom couple relationship compared to D/s. About the only combination which I know won't work is D/s with me being on the submissive side of the coin. If you ever want to do a thread on the above, or even just get some feedback, let Me know. For a lot of people, it's not exactly what they think it is.

littlewonder -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 4:46:12 PM)
so basically the same stuff that every human being on the planet wants in a long term relationship partner. This just seems like a no duh post.

SoulAlloy -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 4:48:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gothinisity I will not. Everyone is allowed their own opinion, my point was more aimed at the fact that I won't date a submissive male because I just can't see them in that way. More over confirming what I was saying about the site being used as a dating site. OK I will bite for a mo. You don't want to date submissive males, fine. You post saying all male submissives are not real men at all? Not so fine. Like saying all Goths are suicidal depressives, or all Findommes are just interested in the contents of the wallet and not the man holding them, it's a large brush that's tarring everyone. So some nice advice, which I haven't seen anyone else suggest yet. Go to a few of the London munches, talk to all the male submissives there, find out what makes them tick, their daily struggles, their joys, their pains, all the non-kink stuff. Talk to the single submissives, talk to the ones in couples. And some basic advice, which I'm sure you've probably heard before, but if not I'm happy to impart it as it was taught to me at a damn young age: 1. Treat others with the same respect you expect them to give you 2. If you can't say something nice then shut the hell up 1. can be debatable under a D/s relationship true, but at the end of the day the rules are laid down and each party respects the other by adhering to those rules. 2. is also debatable granted, sometimes not nice things need to be said, but there are ways of being constructive in most cases. In other cases of course, saying those not nice things are damn hot [8D] I don't know you and chances are I will never know you, but I still hope this 'unreal man' has given you pause for thought. Regards Soul_Alloy

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 5:07:19 PM)
Crazyml, I'm not expressing that I myself think that all submissive men would let a Dominant women walk all over them. I myself have my share of dating woes, centered around submissive women. The kind where you go on a date or two, engage in a good conversation, or even those moment of having a one night stand. Next thing, they are throwing their submission at me in 2/5 seconds flat. Without taking time to get to know me or me getting to know them better. They are showing up uninvited at my doorstep wanting to do everything and anything for me. Violating my own personal space in some way shape or form. Uninvited to the next level. Here's one of the worse case encounters I've had a with a bat shit crazy subbie which I lost all respect for. About 1 hour into a great conversation, she decides we are soul mates... goes on about how's she going to do everything, anything and whatever I want. Ummm Ummm... (back of my mind, this bitch has only taken 1 hour to get to know me and let me get to know her in?). She proceeds to tell everybody around us, that we're soul mates. Just because of some basics we have in common? WTF? Actually, if anything.. I hate dealing with imposed submission or service. It's the classic game where they believe the more they can do or offer of themselves.. that they are scoring brownie points.. and that clearly they are the logical pick. Service, Gifts and etc.. with strings of great expectations attached. Personally, I want to get to know somebody and vice versa. Unless it's a use them and toss them out/aside deal. Sub Frenzy sort of knaws on my nerves a little.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 5:30:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 There are days, when I perhaps question if I should be looking for Dom couple relationship compared to D/s. About the only combination which I know won't work is D/s with me being on the submissive side of the coin. If you ever want to do a thread on the above, or even just get some feedback, let Me know. For a lot of people, it's not exactly what they think it is. About Dom couples?

LadyPact -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 5:34:38 PM)
Yep.

LafayetteLady -> RE: 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 6:03:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizi You're young OP and seem to have a very idealized view of relationships. People strive to do what they can, as you get older you find out that you aren't perfect and need to grant a pass now and then to the people you care about just as they give one to you on the times that you falter. You seem to have a very entitled and black and white view of relationships. I honestly can't see someone being able to be as stellar as you seem to expect, but you'll find that out. Perfection isn't humanly possible, and every person comes with their own set of individual quirks, baggage, and view of the world- you can never really get things to line up 100% between two people where they both view things exactly the same and carry things out perfectly for each other. That's where compromise, grace, and respect come into play. You seem convinced you are a special little snowflake, I sincerely hope you find the perfect take-out menu human who will take on the daunting task of being flawless according to your standards. See, now I read it and thought she likely just came out of a realtionship where, as the submissive, she was treated very poorly. She got sick of it, and now is just stating that she will no longer settle for something where her needs aren't met as well. Initially, I was going to say how so many male dominants take the position that the sub is just there to meet their needs and the sub's needs aren't even secondary, they are completely irrelevant to those dominants. However, she is apparently a lesbian looking for a mommy, and I don't know if the female dominants tend towards that same attitude. I have seen more than enough of those kinds of comments from some on the boards, but they are usually the barely old enough girls who are looking to make a living off of sub men. Like Hib said, I'm sure many dominants want the same things, and it is completely basic relationship stuff. But I'm choosing to stick with my belief that after being burned or even talking to a bunch of people who weren't looking for a relationship, and she got sick of it.

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