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lilkat23 -> 7 things a submissive needs from a dominant (6/5/2012 9:27:05 AM)
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A submissive serves her/his Dominant. No question. What he/she needs, he /she gets. A submissive is always being watched. Rest assured however that submissives have needs in a relationship as well. I can’t speak for everyone, but I know what this submissive needs, and I have a feeling it isn’t all that unique to me.
1. Your time. If you can’t be with me, talk, text, instant message, or send smoke signals fairly frequently then you aren’t for me. I need to know I am on your mind and you want to be near me. It isn’t just common knowledge, and it never will be, no matter how hard you have tried to make it so.
2. Your attention. If you can’t listen to the little details of my life and make contributions that are useful (even if they aren’t what I want to hear), then you aren’t for me. I need to know that what matters to me today, tomorrow, or next week, also matters to you. Whatever it is may be a silly thing in your mind, but it’s my thing, and it’s important to me.
3. Your consistency. If you can’t enforce the rules you set, and punish and/or reward every single time, then you aren’t for me. Sure you can take into consideration the circumstances in my life at the time, but I need to know that each rule you set has purpose and you intend to see them all through. If you can’t supervise them, don’t set them.
4. Your honesty. If you can’t tell me the truth, all the time, every time, then you aren’t for me. I do not lie to you, even when I really want to, and I expect the same courtesy. If you are always honest with me, even about the little things I don’t even know I should ask you, I will find it easier to believe the harder stuff.
5. Your trust. If you can’t trust me to know my limits, when we reach them, and to let you know, then you aren’t for me. I trust you to take me new places, but you have to go with me too, and sometimes those places are also new to you. Let’s go there together.
6. Your mind. If you can’t share the things that are important to you with me, then you aren’t for me. I like your body, I like your skills, but I also want to like your mind. Your thoughts, dreams, goals, and ambitions are important to me too. What happens in your life matters to me, because you matter to me.
7. Your love. If you can’t love me, really love me, even when I’m wrong, or bad, or distant, or just plain acting unlovable, then you aren’t for me. Love, in all it’s forms, is unconditional. Keyword: unconditional. That means you love me (in whatever way we have chosen) just because you do… and my thoughts, actions, and behaviors do not define your feelings for me. They may change how our relationship functions, but never how you feel. And PS? I need to hear the actual word every once in awhile, so I can file it away in case it’s awhile before I hear it again. But don’t make me wait too long, because while I’m waiting, someone else may be saying it to me.
See? As fun as whips and floggers, butt plugs and vibrators, rope and cuffs, etc. are, they aren’t a need for this submissive. I need a good foundation that can support a strong relationship. As my Dom you have to build that foundation for me…and for that, I’ll be watching you
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