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Old man - 6/7/2006 6:00:34 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day  there he
takes off his clothes and starts to wander around.

A gorgeous petite blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection.


The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says,

"Did you call for me?"


The man replies, "No, what do you mean?"

She says, "You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that
if you get an erection, it implies you called for me."


Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies

down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him

have his way with her.

The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the
sauna and as he sits down, he farts.

Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward
him, "Did you call for me?" says the hairy man.


"No, what do you mean?" says the newcomer.


"You must be new," says the hairy man, "It's a rule that if

you fart, it implies that you called for me."


The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench

and has his way with him.

The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is

greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist. "May I help you?", she says.

The man yells, "Here's my membership card. You can have the

key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee."


"But, Sir," she replies, "you've only been here for a few hours.

You haven't had the chance to see all our facilities."


The man replies, "Listen lady, I'm 60 years old. I only get an

erection once a month. ... but, ...

..... I fart 15 times a day."
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RE: Old man - 6/7/2006 6:03:50 PM   
spectreandnectre


Posts: 401
Joined: 3/20/2006
From: nebraska
Status: offline 		lol

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RE: Old man - 6/7/2006 10:55:20 PM   
BreakMeShakeMe


Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline

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RE: Old man - 6/7/2006 11:00:30 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		OMG!!!!! Level that was waaaaaayyyy too funny.

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Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


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RE: Old man - 6/7/2006 11:02:17 PM   
littlemissub


Posts: 118
Joined: 5/4/2006
Status: offline 		haha, poor old guy

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RE: Old man - 6/7/2006 11:15:26 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I know a similar joke:

A guy who's dealing with a weight problem sees an ad in the newspaper for a new weight-loss program that doesn't rely on dieting or pills, and is guaranteed to work.  The guy thinks, what the hell, I've tried everything, and this program is GUARANTEED to work.

So he goes to the address indicated in the ad and meets the director of the program, who assures him that there's no dieting, no pills, and the results are indeed guaranteed.  The director says, "Why should we waste any time?  If you're ready to start losing weight, let's start the program right now."

Then he leads the guy into a big area that's filled with grass and trees, and says: "Just call for me when you need me."  Then he walks out.

Before long, a gorgeous naked woman appears, with a sign around her neck that says, "If you catch me, you can fuck me."  The guy thinks, "Wow, I'm going to lose weight AND get to fuck the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen."  So he starts after her--but she runs like the wind.  Up, down, back, around--she's just too fast for him.  Finally, exhausted and panting, he calls for the director.

"This is a great idea," he says, "but I'm totally exhausted.  I can't take it anymore."

"Ahh," says the director, "that means it's time for Stage Two.  Are you ready to try Stage Two?"

"Sure," says the guy.  "As long as I don't have to chase that gorgeous girl anymore."

The director walks out, and again the guy's alone--till all of a sudden he sees a naked 6'5", 255 lb. guy with a sign around his neck: "If I catch you, I can fuck you."

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RE: Old man - 6/7/2006 11:19:39 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		Oh shyt LAM!!!! lmao!!!

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Old man - 6/7/2006 11:34:38 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		ROTFLMAO
                 
Thanks for that Level and LaM.   M

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

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RE: Old man - 6/7/2006 11:44:01 PM   
Furr


Posts: 36
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Hey. let's not be spoofing old folk.  Remember, you hope to be one someday.

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RE: Old man - 6/8/2006 2:22:11 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		All people..............all people..........are availible for spoofing, goofing, pointing fingers at, and making the time-honored sound of guffawing at.

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RE: Old man - 6/8/2006 3:58:06 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		lol

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Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


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RE: Old man - 6/8/2006 9:55:07 AM   
OhBeMyMind


Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
Status: offline 		"If you catch me, you can fuck me." 
"If I catch you, I can fuck you."


Hmmmm....that sounds kinda fun actually! 

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~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Old man - 6/8/2006 10:26:29 AM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		 Both jokes... way funny... i did giggle....

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RE: Old man - 6/9/2006 1:24:42 AM   
trippingdaisy


Posts: 113
Joined: 6/3/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OhBeMyMind

"If you catch me, you can fuck me." 
"If I catch you, I can fuck you."


Hmmmm....that sounds kinda fun actually! 


So very true!

Great jokes here. They sure got me giggling. LOL

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RE: Old man - 6/9/2006 8:03:34 PM   
GYPSYGRANNY4U


Posts: 11
Joined: 6/9/2006
Status: offline 		Now that is a old one

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Hi My Name is Gypsy....what is yours?
66 yr old lesbian female
NYC

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RE: Old man - 6/9/2006 11:25:02 PM   
FootQueen


Posts: 241
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		roflmao 

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Don`t engage in a relationship if there is no trust, for without trust there really is no relationship!

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RE: Old man - 6/12/2006 12:00:50 AM   
mastersayed


Posts: 119
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline 		lol lol lol

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Profile   Post #: 17
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