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How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/27/2012 9:54:02 PM   
Zorro91


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/27/2012
From: Chicago
Status: offline
I am completely new to this cite and to be honest I am abit new at the whole obtaining a sub/slave.I am a dominant person and always have been but finding and interacting with subs ,I always secong guess myself.I don't wanna scare the little ones off.So I guess Im the newb of the forum but if you could help me and give me some advice it would be greatly appreaciated.
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/27/2012 9:59:45 PM   
CRYPTICLXVI


Posts: 3907
Status: offline


First I would say, know who you are, be consistent, be your self, and do not worry about attracting one.

Go out meet in rl, learn, and like any other relationship... if she is the proper one, it will happen.

If you are just looking for kinky play, hell, that's easy.

(in reply to Zorro91)
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/27/2012 10:20:44 PM   
Zorro91


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Joined: 6/27/2012
From: Chicago
Status: offline
Thanks.

(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/27/2012 10:28:47 PM   
CRYPTICLXVI


Posts: 3907
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Being honest, about who you are, asking questions, learning... I believe these are important, but that is just my own opinion and experience.

(in reply to Zorro91)
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/27/2012 10:40:32 PM   
Zorro91


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/27/2012
From: Chicago
Status: offline
Thats fine by me homie.The more help I can get the easier it will be for me.I'm have had slaves in real life and online but they were always friends first then slaves.I wouldnt know how to just find a slave randomly.

(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/27/2012 10:41:33 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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In addition to what the others said, get out to real life events. Chicago seems to have a bunch of them.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Zorro91)
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/27/2012 10:56:40 PM   
Zorro91


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/27/2012
From: Chicago
Status: offline
But arent they age limited or you have to pay to go?

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/28/2012 4:57:49 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorro91

But arent they age limited or you have to pay to go?


Events come basically in two flavors, munches and play parties.

Munches are held in restaurants and bars. I have never seen an age restriction at the restaurant munches. No pay except what you eat and drink.

Play parties are sometimes for 21-and-up, but there are also TNG parties which limit age to 18-35. Many do require admission fees but not all.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Zorro91)
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/28/2012 5:13:59 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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quote:

I am completely new to this cite and to be honest I am abit new at the whole obtaining a sub/slave.


quote:

I can get the easier it will be for me.I'm have had slaves in real life and online but they were always friends first then slaves.I wouldnt know how to just find a slave randomly.



You're completely new but you've had slaves before? What's a random slave? You are confusing the hell out of me, but let me take a stab at this anyway.

First, and it is not my intention of being racist here, many (not all) Hispanic males tend to be macho and have a sexist attitude toward women. Being macho and sexist is not being dominant in my opinion.

A certain amount of that does give a dom male a tingly inspiring sadistic edge, but you have to temper it with actually being a dominant. And by that I mean a good dominant, not a domineering asshat.

What are some of the qualities of a good dominant? Patience, self control and self knowledge, compassion, and most of all, leadership, which is the ability to make great decisions AND be a consensus builder.

This advice from Cryptic is spot on:

quote:

First I would say, know who you are, be consistent, be your self, and do not worry about attracting one.



_____________________________



(in reply to Zorro91)
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/28/2012 5:29:10 AM   
kalikshama


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There's three TNG groups in Chicago: https://fetlife.com/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&q=chicago+tng&commit=search

I suggest this if you want to meet people close to your own age either for potential partners or mentors.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to Zorro91)
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/28/2012 6:29:48 AM   
CRYPTICLXVI


Posts: 3907
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

This advice from Cryptic is spot on:

quote:

First I would say, know who you are, be consistent, be your self, and do not worry about attracting one.




Every now and then I fuck up and say something worthwhile... sorry.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/28/2012 6:54:43 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
Is this sarcasm?

Seriously I don't get why you are apologizing. Have you and I gotten into it before? I don't remember, evidently it wasn't serious enough for me to hold a grudge.

If it was sarcasm, then NEVERMIND.

I *did* think it was great advice. I tend to say what I mean and mean what I say. Unless I'm attempting to be comical, then all bets are off.



_____________________________



(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/28/2012 7:00:23 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorro91

I'm have had slaves in real life and online but they were always friends first then slaves.
I wouldnt know how to just find a slave randomly.

Calling yourself a Dominant doesn't mean you now possess some incredible magnetic field
that pulls all the subs/slaves to your feet. There has to be a base level of attraction to you
as a person first, and that usually starts with becoming friends first.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Zorro91)
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/28/2012 7:35:07 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
I agree with a lot of the folks above. Get out and meet your community. Chicago has some really good things going on. Find yourself a male Dom mentor to help you learn.

BDSM D/s relationships aren't all that different than vanilla relationship. The just have a really defined leadership structure. You still need to like, respect and be able to interact with your partner. Get to know that person.

Lastly: There's a difference between "dominant" and "domineering". Learn that difference.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to poise)
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/28/2012 7:39:57 AM   
Zorro91


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/27/2012
From: Chicago
Status: offline
ok thanks everyne.And what I meant before is that I use to be on another cite.I had online slaves and in my school I had one but she graduated.I dont really count them because they werent this.They werent collar me.com.This is where the real lifestyle thrives and this is where I truly want to be because this is a lifestyle I truly want to be walk on.Oh and for that comment about most spanish men.Your right they can be down right evil at times.lol.But my Daddy instilled chivalry and a code of honor.And I could never disrespect his memory by being anything less then that.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/28/2012 11:20:43 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorro91
I am completely new to this cite and to be honest I am abit new at the whole obtaining a sub/slave.I am a dominant person and always have been but finding and interacting with subs ,I always secong guess myself.I don't wanna scare the little ones off.So I guess Im the newb of the forum but if you could help me and give me some advice it would be greatly appreaciated.


Become competent at spelling and grammar. Poor spelling is the kiss of death when it comes to getting a date online.

(in reply to Zorro91)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/28/2012 4:05:00 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL:

What are some of the qualities of a good dominant? Patience, self control and self knowledge, compassion, and most of all, leadership, which is the ability to make great decisions AND be a consensus builder.



I like your ideas about qualities of a good dom,
I'll say, you need to be the right kind of person
To begin with, then experience and maturity on
Top of that will take care of the "good dom" part

If you like setting cats on fire, or driving over ducks
Crossing the street, being a Dom isn't for you...

For a young Dom, Id say practice on yourself first
Beating smoking, drinking, gambling all build
character and self-determination.
In my book a Dom needs to be a rock, the selfconfidance
A healthy person in complete control of his life radiates
Out and you naturally attract girls that crave that
Vitality, and dont talk shit, speak like a mature adult
Hommie...

-ARIES



_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
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RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/29/2012 10:43:58 AM   
Southbigdaddy


Posts: 12
Joined: 6/11/2012
Status: offline
Just be patient, do not keep writing to someone once they ignore you and if the right person believes you are genuine (there are many fakes on here and everywhere else) then just be yourself, do not lie as they always get caught out, be open, take it slow and do not try to jump straight into a scene, also if you are looking at real life realise that no try and genuione sub is going to kneel because you tell them to in your first email, they will just hit delete and move on.

Oh and the munch is a good place to meet with real life people in the scene, this is not my thing personally but it does get you known as a genuine person and invites to private events and party's can come from them, you get seen to be a real person.

Bill

(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/29/2012 11:38:43 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83




I like your ideas about qualities of a good dom,
I'll say, you need to be the right kind of person
To begin with, then experience and maturity on
Top of that will take care of the "good dom" part

If you like setting cats on fire, or driving over ducks
Crossing the street, being a Dom isn't for you...

For a young Dom, Id say practice on yourself first
Beating smoking, drinking, gambling all build
character and self-determination.
In my book a Dom needs to be a rock, the selfconfidance
A healthy person in complete control of his life radiates
Out and you naturally attract girls that crave that
Vitality, and dont talk shit, speak like a mature adult
Hommie...

-ARIES





I like your ideas about self mastery. You know, that is a term that's been tossed around quite a bit, but few bother to say what they mean by it.

_____________________________



(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How to attract subs/slaves? - 6/30/2012 8:20:06 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
Be someone worth submitting to.
If you're still in school, then commit yourself to getting the most out of your education. Be someone your professors wish that every other student was.
If your working, then give your boss 110%. Don't be someone who does the least and takes money for things they haven't done.

Be a stand up man in all aspects of your life. It will carry over into your demeanor. Conversely, the less honorable you are, in all aspects, will also be apparent over time.



_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 20
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