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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 6/30/2012 5:36:50 PM

dcnovice

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FR

Interesting piece in the New Yorker: The English Wars

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 6/30/2012 5:44:34 PM

kalthus

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quote:

If you are thinking it's funny because submissives can't or shouldn't be picky, in your opinion, than that is really pretty offensive.

Indeed it would be, but I'm not saying that. Not at all.

1) If you asked a vanilla to describe a submissive, they would describe the classic doormat personality. The idea that they would be looking at things like grammar, well that would be playing against type - like a cowboy who is alergic to horses or something. It would seem like a 'contradiction in terms'. But thats probably hard for many people on this board to see because to them it's NOT illogical.

For the record, I understand subs have to be very selective and that makes perfect sense. And I have no comment to make on what peoplemay find attractive or not. Thats not my place.

2) When I first suggested that Grammar was pehaps not the best criteria on which to choose a partner, there were post suggesting that it indicated a person who would take time and trouble over things, which makes for a good Dom. I'm just suggesting that (whilst people can pick whatever criteria works for them) this one is not always going to be reliable. Of course, guys like heath and Bamber would no doubt be de-slected for other reasons, but they wouldn't fall at the first hurdle.

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 6/30/2012 5:57:28 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

The point is - some earlier respondants had suggested that the quality of written communication IS a way you can tell if someone is a safe play partner or not.

No - they suggested a correlation between bad communication and not safe. No one implied it was the sole criteria or that good = safe.

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Post #: 63

RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 6/30/2012 5:59:01 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

1) If you asked a vanilla to describe a submissive, they would describe the classic doormat personality. The idea that they would be looking at things like grammar, well that would be playing against type - like a cowboy who is alergic to horses or something. It would seem like a 'contradiction in terms'. But thats probably hard for many people on this board to see because to them it's NOT illogical.

Surely there are grammar nazis on vanilla date sites - this issue transcends BDSM.

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 6/30/2012 6:09:02 PM

kalthus

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quote:

No - they suggested a correlation between bad communication and not safe. No one implied it was the sole criteria or that good = safe.

Well, can I refer you back to this rather sarcastic comment from one earlier poster:

"This is a perfectly acceptable gripe about subs. I mean, why should someone who is going to trust you with their safety care whether you're a stickler for details who likes to dot all their i's and cross all their t's?"

I agree they do not say it's the sole criteria, but they are drawing a very strong connection between literacy and safety which, I hope I have shown is not entirely justified.

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 6/30/2012 7:15:18 PM

BurntKitty

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Here ya go. For the Grammar Nazis:

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 6/30/2012 7:31:17 PM

imdmb

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being able to spell doesnt always mean intelligence, and intelligence doesnt mean able to spell, i study quantum physics as a hobby, doesnt mean i havent lost every single game of scrabble ive ever played HAHA

there are lines that should be drawn yes, things like textspeak is impossible to read, but there should definatly be a margin for error, if i was to take a grammer book to this website im sure i will find mistakes with every single user on this site! when was the last time you had a dangling participle? (autocorrect told me to spell it that way) how often do you write all the words in the perfect order? at this point nobody does anymore and things should be left alone, really if you can easily understand something then thats where the line should be drawn. why dont i use an apostrophe? because 90% of my typing is on YIM and im using a laptop, so whenever i go for the apostrophe i end up hitting enter which ends up sending only half a message, leading to miscommunication. draw the line where you wish but remember correct grammar in the english language simply is not able to be vocalized, the rules too strict to be intelligible, on the other end, yes, you should know by now there is a place theyre is a contraction and their implies ownership (which everybody on this website knows quite intimately) too to and two, and youre and your. yes these are all important things that bug the fuck out of me, but going much farther and you impede natural speech and misunderstandings run rampant. punctuation being taken too much by the books ruins the possibility of hearing how somebody naturally speaks, in a conversation . is a full stop and , is a short pause, and by not allowing that to happen you dont have even the small chance you currently have at understanding the intent and flow of the conversation

of course, i know i just ranted a bit about how punctuation should be used and didnt just use it that way, but i might edit it to sound more like me later on

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 6/30/2012 7:52:40 PM

littlewonder

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All I can do is shake my head at the cluelessness.

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 6/30/2012 8:34:17 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalthus
It’s just that the actual term ‘picky submissive’ is innately comical. Like – a hydrophobic duck . It’s just a matter of semantics, but I’m sorry, it’s slightly funny. The same as ‘a meeting of clairvoyants being cancelled because of unforeseen circumstances’.

Comical to YOU maybe. But you seem to be the only one who thinks it's funny. You are equating submission and being a doormat. They are two totally separate things. Just because someone is submissive it does not mean she or he is a doormat. If a person is a doormat, she or he has self-esteem issues and that's unhealthy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalthus
I’m just suggesting that whether a contact can use punctuation might not be the acid test of their suitability.

I don't think anyone is saying it's the acid test of suitability. What I do see is people having standards that include their partner being intelligent enough to use correct grammar or, at the very least, spellcheck. But no one here is saying that's the only standard they have. I for one have no problem with occasional mistakes and such, but outright laziness? Yeah, I have a big problem with that one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalthus
If you asked a vanilla to describe a submissive, they would describe the classic doormat personality. The idea that they would be looking at things like grammar, well that would be playing against type - like a cowboy who is alergic to horses or something.

So who here is asking what vanillas think a submissive should be? What does that have to do with anything? One would hope that a Dom would know better than to think all subs are or should be doormats. Evidently you haven't figured that one out yet.

NBMG

< Message edited by NiceButMeanGirl -- 6/30/2012 8:38:54 PM >

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 7/1/2012 3:52:09 AM

kalthus

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quote:

One would hope that a Dom would know better than to think all subs are or should be doormats. Evidently you haven't figured that one out yet.

I was going to let this pass because I think this thread is getting increasingly circular, but this needs a response

Please look back over my previous posts here and show me a quote where I have actually SAID that I think subs are or should be doormats. Not 'implied' - actually said it. A direct quote please. You are now telling me what I think, and I'd like to see what evidence you have for that.

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 7/1/2012 4:07:26 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

If you asked a vanilla to describe a submissive, they would describe the classic doormat personality.

This is very far from the truth.

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 7/1/2012 4:19:50 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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What can I say other than thank you, NBMG for saving me the typing !!

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalthus
It’s just that the actual term ‘picky submissive’ is innately comical. Like – a hydrophobic duck . It’s just a matter of semantics, but I’m sorry, it’s slightly funny. The same as ‘a meeting of clairvoyants being cancelled because of unforeseen circumstances’.

Comical to YOU maybe. But you seem to be the only one who thinks it's funny. You are equating submission and being a doormat. They are two totally separate things. Just because someone is submissive it does not mean she or he is a doormat. If a person is a doormat, she or he has self-esteem issues and that's unhealthy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalthus
I’m just suggesting that whether a contact can use punctuation might not be the acid test of their suitability.

I don't think anyone is saying it's the acid test of suitability. What I do see is people having standards that include their partner being intelligent enough to use correct grammar or, at the very least, spellcheck. But no one here is saying that's the only standard they have. I for one have no problem with occasional mistakes and such, but outright laziness? Yeah, I have a big problem with that one.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalthus
If you asked a vanilla to describe a submissive, they would describe the classic doormat personality. The idea that they would be looking at things like grammar, well that would be playing against type - like a cowboy who is alergic to horses or something.

So who here is asking what vanillas think a submissive should be? What does that have to do with anything? One would hope that a Dom would know better than to think all subs are or should be doormats. Evidently you haven't figured that one out yet.

NBMG

A bit off topic, but I need to add something for NBMG: You keep getting better and better; it's been a delight being able to track your progression as a dominant female. There is a radiance to you these days, you just exude strong female fully attuned to your dominant voice, yet not in the least afraid to show a softer side.

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 7/1/2012 4:22:02 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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Kalthus, you don't *have* to say that you think subs are doormats. Your actions speak louder than words. That you think the term "picky submissive" is funny *tells* us what you really feel, regardless of what you say.

Got that now?

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 7/1/2012 5:28:05 AM

GreedyTop

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HOLLY!!!!!!!!!!! *tacklehugs* Love to you and the family!!

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 7/1/2012 6:12:11 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Here's part two of that whole thing: How long does it take to go back and proof read what you've written? A minute maybe? You're saying that you're unwilling to spend an extra minute to be concerned about how you're viewed. It's about effort. And I'm not willing to be with someone that doesn't make the effort.

Exactly! And I never make such efforts. I'm sure my postings are laden with various grammatical and typographical errors. I don't find such things important unless it's bad enough to hinder reading comprehension. Which means that you and I would be a bad match for each other... just like a bajillion other things.

What I don't get is why kalthus thinks that is remarkable in any way. Some folks are fussy about grammar. Others??? not so much.

You know what kalthus. I agree with you. Or, wait.. I'd say it differently. I find people who like to snipe at other people on the internet over comma placement to be unsuitable partners for me. To me it looks like the "You're stupid, nyah nyah!" school of debate. Unlike you, I just don't generalize that to anything beyond myself and who I'd want for a friend or lover.

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 7/1/2012 11:20:34 AM

wildernessbitch

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I think he is saying that to be submissive equates to not having a say and not demanding anything from his or her dominant. I think that is a very rudimentary understanding of submissive people.

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 7/1/2012 11:23:58 AM

TNDommeK

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This is kinda what I was referring to. Since coming on this side, I have learned that grammar is important to the majority over here. But if I was reading an email from someone who had misplaced commas or misuse of a semicolon, I wouldn't exactly say no to them. It is not that big of a deal to Me. But I do understand the other poster's views. There are some instances where people are just idiots, and no I wouldn't want those people either.

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 7/1/2012 12:42:05 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Here's part two of that whole thing: How long does it take to go back and proof read what you've written? A minute maybe? You're saying that you're unwilling to spend an extra minute to be concerned about how you're viewed. It's about effort. And I'm not willing to be with someone that doesn't make the effort.

Exactly! And I never make such efforts. I'm sure my postings are laden with various grammatical and typographical errors. I don't find such things important unless it's bad enough to hinder reading comprehension. Which means that you and I would be a bad match for each other... just like a bajillion other things.

What I don't get is why kalthus thinks that is remarkable in any way. Some folks are fussy about grammar. Others??? not so much.

You know what kalthus. I agree with you. Or, wait.. I'd say it differently. I find people who like to snipe at other people on the internet over comma placement to be unsuitable partners for me. To me it looks like the "You're stupid, nyah nyah!" school of debate. Unlike you, I just don't generalize that to anything beyond myself and who I'd want for a friend or lover.

These are My feelings, exactly. I know very well that I make mistakes, including grammatical ones. I've had people call Me on them as well. Yet, I really can't recall the last time anyone accused Me of being a poor Dominant or even a bad top. I'll even cop to making mistakes in those areas, too. Perfection, or the illusion of such, doesn't suit Me.

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 7/1/2012 12:45:13 PM

GreedyTop

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LadyP...

I was going to make a smartass post using bad grammar and TXTSPK, just to be a smartass.

Then realized I had NO FRiggin idea HOW to do so!!

(does this mean I fail as an internet subbie????)

LOL

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RE: Grammar Nazi fetish - 7/1/2012 12:46:48 PM

TNDommeK

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There's probably an app for that,lol.

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