RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 8/31/2012 10:50:14 PM

SpaceSpank

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I could almost forgive it being boring as maybe it just wouldn't be to my interest.. but it's astoundingly poor writing just makes me cringe.

I've read high school stories with more character depth and better skill with the written word.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Restyles

It should be quite sufficient to slam it for being so godawful boring.

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rudishness is fou

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 8/31/2012 11:00:58 PM

mons

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Oh but she made millions with her bed writings oh it is not even a subject matter, she is
doing so well with this book! I would and have written badly here many times!

I have written a children's book

mons

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 9/4/2012 1:17:03 AM

xXxBambiixXx

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Sooo I just started reading Fifty Shades of Grey finally to see what all the talk is about... I am only on Chapter 16 so far... but I honestly don't hate it. I know a lot of people don't love it... but I kinda like the book.

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 9/4/2012 2:53:47 PM

Restyles

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mons

Oh but she made millions with her bed writings oh it is not even a subject matter, she is
doing so well with this book! I would and have written badly here many times!

I have written a children's book

mons

Good for you, writing a childrens book. Now translate the first two sentences for us adults.

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 9/5/2012 5:25:37 AM

Buzzzz

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Most women I know would love this guy anyway. He is young, handsome and a billionaire. Forget about bdsm, just those 3 combines will make lots of them melt right away.

Right the same book with a good looking average guy that makes 40K a year and has to make life choices (go out tonite or pay the electric bill and/or child support) and it will not attract as many women anymore. Just my 2 cents :)

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 9/6/2012 7:59:25 AM

nephandi

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Greetings

The books are full of stereotypes yes, but on the other hand they are popular and mainstream. I was out with my therapist, I have Asperger syndrome so I have problems with some basic life skills and have a therapist that helps me with that, anyway the books are mainstream enough that this psychiatric therapist have no problem picking one of them out when out with her client and even ask if they where any good and if they would make a good gift for a young man. That kind of openness around them I think will only benefit the BDSM community even if they are a bit stereotypical.

I wish you all well

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 9/7/2012 10:44:26 AM

fucktoyprincess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Buzzzz

Most women I know would love this guy anyway. He is young, handsome and a billionaire. Forget about bdsm, just those 3 combines will make lots of them melt right away.

Right the same book with a good looking average guy that makes 40K a year and has to make life choices (go out tonite or pay the electric bill and/or child support) and it will not attract as many women anymore. Just my 2 cents :)

Yes, I quite agree. What most vanilla women are responding to in these books is not the BDSM details that have been added, but the at-the-core romance aspect. This man is young, handsome, rich, washes Ana's hair, ensures she achieves orgasm, spoils her with expensive dates, trips, gifts, etc. At the end of the day, it's just Harlequin Romance meets BDSM. I do not think the sales of this book have anything to do with greater acceptance of BDSM generally. I know of at least a few vanilla women who have read the book, and complained to me about the BDSM aspects (I am not public about my BDSM interests). Their purchase of the books still counts as a sale even though they do not condone the BDSM aspects of the book.

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 9/19/2012 2:00:04 AM

Sybercat1

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I read all three books an find them quite entertaining. We all have to keep in mind that Ana is new to the lifestyle and needs to be trained. At the end of book 1 he does spank her as I would spank my sub but she's scared and runs off. We need to keep in mind this is a romance series and not one of our "lifestyle" books. It has opened the publics mind and is opening a new world to its readers. Would we want to deminise out life by putting one of our books in mainstream bookstores around the world making our life that much more tabo? We all have our likings and limits an this could be the beginning of an era for us if more of the world opens their mind up. Dont down the books as they bring possibilities to our world and a new generation into the mix. I for one can't wait to see where this all leads.

Remember bottom line this is a story.

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 9/21/2012 4:54:06 PM

im2good2u

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quote:

Taormino, who recommends sexual contracts for their clarity and as a subtle form of foreplay, laments the circumstances of the contract in Fifty Shades.

“I wouldn’t give a contract to someone so inexperienced — it would be irresponsible,” she says.

Why is it irresponsible to give a contract to an inexperienced person? Are they inherently incapable of giving informed consent? It seems like the reverse would be true: the less experience one has, the more protection they need.

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 9/21/2012 4:56:08 PM

OsideGirl

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Because someone who is inexperienced doesn't really know what they want yet.

And contracts don't protect anyone. They have no weight other than what the two people involved in the relationship give it.

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 9/21/2012 9:34:21 PM

Sybercat1

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I don't feel there is a need for a contract but need for some actual information and a trip to a real dungeon to have a training session with you and a trainer. Vanilla men and women don't know what to expect or what to do. They may have a open mind but still need training and knowledge.

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 9/22/2012 9:44:58 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sybercat1
a trip to a real dungeon to have a training session with you and a trainer.

Trained to do what? You clearly think submission is taught in a dungeon.

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 9/22/2012 12:16:33 PM

myotherself

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou

I found the woman annoyingly whiney and the "Dom", entirely too misunderstood and willing to "break his own rules".

Me too! She had him wrapped round her little finger, and he was about as dominant as my hamster. When I was looking for a Master, one of things I really needed was a man who walked the walk. Too many will be all domly and stuff until love creeps in...and then they want to feed you marshmallows and call you honeybun while running you a bath and pouring you a drink.

For me, that sounds like a total nightmare! lol

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 9/22/2012 1:10:28 PM

Sybercat1

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Being taken to a dungeon is one of the best ways for someone who don't know what BDSM is about to see it for themselves. As for your "Trained for What" that all depends on what a Dom wants and what has been discussed with the Sub. I know some things can't be trained or showed that it's all experience and time. I just fell it's rude to bring in someone who don't know what they are in for into a lifestyle they have no idea about. I would rather take the time to train and teach a Sub I want rather than to go threw Subs like they are trash. A good Dom is one who teaches before they tie and whip the shit out of someone.

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 9/22/2012 1:36:23 PM

OsideGirl

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You can practice D/s without ever engaging in BDSM. You can engage in BDSM without ever engaging in D/s.

Your assumption is that D/s automatically involves BDSM is incorrect.

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 9/22/2012 1:45:21 PM

AnimusRex

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quote:

At the end of the day, it's just Harlequin Romance meets BDSM.

Quoted for truth.

I read part of it, and while its not as erotic as other works like O, it is not awful either.

Of course it is not "TRUE BDSM"- why should it be?

In order for it to be accurate, they both would have to be middle aged, paunchy, and spend their evenings bickering over the trash being taken out.

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 9/23/2012 8:22:20 AM

Ninebelowzero

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I reckon a little literary mash up might work. as in Lord of the Rings in a 50 shades stylee.

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 10/14/2012 10:19:28 AM

leonine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

The funny thing I find about this book is that so many women I've heard screaming over the years, the same suburban housewives who are going ga ga over this book, would always say "I would never let my husband boss me around. I would never let him touch me in that way when we're making love. He better do everything I say or there's gonna be hell to pay!" And then along comes this book with a dom of a man who does exactly what they said they would never accept from their husbands lol. No wonder so many men feel confused and inadequate these days lol.

To be fair, the same is true of many subs I know, male and female. My late wife defined herself as a "submissive bossy bitch," which is still my favourite type: I'm glad to say there are a lot of them :)

I knew a deeply masochistic sub who tried to turn her husband on to BDSM and succeeded, to the extent that he became a noted Dom in the local scene... and she found she couldn't submit to him. Apparently her upbringing that a wife had to be the boss was too strong, and she had to go to men she wasn't married to before she could grovel the way she needed to.

And if you're honestly confused, it's because you're missing the all important difference between fantasy and reality. What people read for fun doesn't necessarily have any connection with what they want in their life!

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 10/14/2012 10:51:26 AM

Kana

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quote:

At the end of the day, it's just Harlequin Romance meets BDSM.

So true. Now that said, I got a gal friend who burned through a set of batteries per book!

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RE: Fifty Shades of Grey critics slam bondage stereotypes - 10/21/2012 3:52:04 AM

absolutchocolat

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meh, i read the trilogy and thought it was poorly written. the article makes some good points, folks here have made good point as well. i'm just glad people are having discussions and breaking down stereotypes about the bdsm lifestyle.

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