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RE: Don't hit when angry? - 7/25/2012 6:16:08 PM

JstAnotherSub

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I just gotta say, and I know it is off topic kinda, but...

When you are responsible for hiring folks, you can talk to them, check references, follow your gut, go against your gut, check the Tarot Cards, or flip a coin, and, sometimes, you just call it wrong.

I have hired 11 folks total. Of them, 7 were and are awesome workers, 2 are so so workers, who try hard, but are just kinda slow, and 2 were flat out fucking insane bitches.

Of the 7 awesome ones, I would say 3 were disappointing at first, but, with some gentle prodding, and a write up or 3, they got it finally. The 2 so so ones are still around because they always try, no matter what.

The 2 wackos showed them selves shortly after being hired, and their behaviors made me not want to do anything except keep documenting their psycho asses, until I had enough for them to be "asked to resign" or be fired.

It is a crap shoot. Some folks can learn and change, and some, you can tell from the get go that they just wanted the job and they don't give a flying fuck. I am not wasting one moment of time trying to help them, I am getting rid of them as quickly as I can.

As to the topic, I could never be with anyone who hit me when out of control. The angry thing, I have never faced, so I have no clue. The one relationship I have been in, the only time he had "the talk" with me, regarding my behavior, when we were done talking, he asked me if I needed to be punished in order to let it go. I said no, and that was that.

He did let me know that if I wallowed in the mistake, or let it get me down, he wouldn't ask before punishing me.

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RE: Don't hit when angry? - 7/25/2012 8:19:37 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Removed

Now I'm curious......
Geez...go away for a day and you miss things like this.

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RE: Don't hit when angry? - 7/26/2012 6:36:29 AM

Moonlightmaddnes

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A few days ago I posted on facebook that since hitting children is suppose to be an act of love then why is it illegal to hit your spouce? If your wife forgets to pay a bill shouldn't a loving husband hit her to help her to remember next time? I was surprised when a few of my vanilla friends said but what if my wife likes being hit? Facebook is my vanilla site so I did not go there beyond a LOL and then have fun.

With anything, whether it is in a relationship or parenting or even work if you are mad it is best to go and calm down before doing anything. MY husband does not physically punish me. That has never been apart of our relationship. Tickling now. Dear gawd. He gets so much fun out of me screaming and begging him to stop now. He smiles and says nope I am not done yet.

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RE: Don't hit when angry? - 7/26/2012 6:59:01 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Hitting your children is not an act of love, sorry. Smack a toddler that runs into the street, yes. Running into the street BAD.

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RE: Don't hit when angry? - 7/26/2012 7:35:09 AM

Moonlightmaddnes

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I know right. I hear it all the time though. If you love your children you will make them obey you. If you do not beat them they will be spoiled rotten little brats. I usually wait until someone comments on how well behaved my daughter is before I make the comment that I do not hit my kids. I discipline them but I do not use pain and fear. It is fun to watch people try to come up with something to say at that point since they just complimented me on my kids behavior.

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RE: Don't hit when angry? - 7/26/2012 7:46:05 AM

KaleidoKenlyn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonlightmaddnes

I know right. I hear it all the time though. If you love your children you will make them obey you. If you do not beat them they will be spoiled rotten little brats. I usually wait until someone comments on how well behaved my daughter is before I make the comment that I do not hit my kids. I discipline them but I do not use pain and fear. It is fun to watch people try to come up with something to say at that point since they just complimented me on my kids behavior.

This. :)
The only people I know you do get complimented on their children's behavior are those who do not hit them.
On the other hand, I know quite a few people who spank their children as punishment. And their kiddos are the crazy, hyperactive, potty-mouthed terrors that yo'll see in Walmart giving all the nearby shoppers a migraine.

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RE: Don't hit when angry? - 7/26/2012 8:15:55 AM

Moonlightmaddnes

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Me too.

When my daughter was a toddler and pre schooler I got way more results out of distraction and redirection then hitting her every time she touched something she was not suppose to. When a friend complained her two year old would not stop touching her daddy's very expensive camera he used for his photography business my first questions was why is the camera in her reach? Something that expensive that he uses as income should not be within reach of a child at all!

I am not sure if it is the area I am in but I run into a lot of people who are downright mean to their children. I just cringe sometimes when I see a little one that is being clingy and the mother slap him for it. I was at the pool with my daughter and this mother got tired of watching her 3 year old in the pool and made him lay down on the pavement for a nap. It was 102 out and they made him lay there and when he cried they spanked him.

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RE: Don't hit when angry? - 7/26/2012 9:53:08 AM

KaleidoKenlyn

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That. Is. Messed. Up.
I cannot stand when children are spanked for crying. It's the height of cruelty to me.
Sadly, it's not the area you live in. I've lived in quite a few areas of the country and people are horrible everywhere. At least, everywhere I've been. Even in hippie-filled Eugene, OR I witnessed things of a similar nature. And I've never understood it. I've never understood how someone can look at something as precious as their own child and hit them. But then, I don't have kids and according to several people I'm "naive and idealistic."

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RE: Don't hit when angry? - 7/26/2012 10:49:32 AM

Moonlightmaddnes

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When my daughter was a few months old I had trouble with her crying when I put her down. After I was frying some chicken and the grease burned my chest pretty bad I dared not hold her while I cooked. A lady I know told me that when she cried I needed to get a switch whip her a few times while saying we are going to be cheerful. I was so mad I could not even think of anything to say to her. Later I asked my husband to walk up to this lady's husband and tell him next time his wife is crying slap the shit out of her and say now we are going to be cheerful.

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RE: Don't hit when angry? - 7/26/2012 12:18:15 PM

kalikshama

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Sounds like she read To Train Up A Child.

Parents Demand Abusive Childrearing Book Be Pulled From Amazon

To Train Up A Child, a self-published parenting book by pastor Michael Pearl and his wife Debi Pearl, advocates the physical abuse of children as effective discipline.

The book has appeared in the homes of several children who have been abused to death, including 13-year-old Hana Williams who was found dead in the backyard, 30 pounds underweight, from hypothermia. Further investigations revealed that Williams’ parents starved her, beat her regularly, put her in a locked closet, and made her sleep outside in the barn in the cold. She also wasn’t allowed to use the bathroom in the house. To Train Up A Child was found in their home, as well as that of many other abusive parents, and now thousands of parents are asking that Amazon remove the book as soon as possible through a Change.org petition.

The Times notes that the book has become a hit particularly with Christian home-schoolers since its 1994 publication, with advice like:

“… using a switch from as early as six months to discourage misbehavior and describ[ing] how to make use of implements for hitting on the arms, legs or back, including a quarter-inch flexible plumbing line that, Mr. Pearl notes, “can be rolled up and carried in your pocket.”

Pearl and his wife maintain that their book is not abusive on the grounds that they advise against acting out of anger or leaving bruises. They point out that the families who have killed their children have taken their methods too far:

“If you find a 12-step book in an alcoholic’s house, you wouldn’t blame the book,” Mr. Pearl said in an interview.
That may very well be true, but anyone who denies their child food as a form of punishment, even if it is deemed a “little fasting,” is abusing said child. And proposing devices with which to beat kids, even if it is to inflict minimal damage, is also abusive, no matter how much the practice in couched in niceties. Michael Pearl even admits “the same principles” in his book used for childrearing “[the] Amish use to train their stubborn mules.”

Read more: http://mommyish.com/childrearing/to-train-up-a-child-book-child-abuse-pearl-611/#ixzz21l32PJoM

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RE: Don't hit when angry? - 7/26/2012 5:46:54 PM

Moonlightmaddnes

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I was given that piece of shit book once. I threw it away in disgust when it said to get a switch and whip a 4 month old for not holding still during diaper changes. It is nothing more then a guide to child abuse.

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