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Mistress Basics "help" - 7/25/2012 12:41:51 PM   
NewbieMistress


Posts: 16
Joined: 6/19/2012
From: United States
Status: offline 		Hello Mistresses

Question: It there any set steps in finding a slave/submissive? What kind of questions do you ask? I guess I don't know how invasive i can be. So some basics would be appreciated. Do you just be yourself until everything is settled? or Do you tell them what you expect with authority right away? What things do I look for? What personal information should I ask for? Does anyone know of any good books on Goddess/slave relationships? Do you tell a slave not to except any other offers from others until you decided what to do?

Thanks,
NM
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RE: Mistress Basics "help" - 7/25/2012 12:44:16 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Have you had a look at the non fiction titles on the BDSM book list?

Edited to add the link. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm



< Message edited by LadyPact -- 7/25/2012 12:50:24 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Mistress Basics "help" - 7/25/2012 1:22:50 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Just join the local Denver scene. As I recall, I gave you a rundown of the local scene last time you asked a question.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Mistress Basics "help" - 7/25/2012 1:51:35 PM   
NewbieMistress


Posts: 16
Joined: 6/19/2012
From: United States
Status: offline 		Thank you very much LadyPact.






quote:

BDSM book list

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RE: Mistress Basics "help" - 7/25/2012 2:19:54 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Depends what you consider invasive, now if I'd let somebody into my life (and I assume you aren't talking casual play) I'd be damned invasive, simply out of self-protection, once stalked, twice shy

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: Mistress Basics "help" - 7/25/2012 2:42:58 PM   
Kaiel


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		OP: I am wondering what you mean by "do you just be yourself until things are settled?"

Who else would you be?



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RE: Mistress Basics "help" - 7/25/2012 4:26:35 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
You need to use an approach that you are comfortable with.

However, in the kinky world, I have found that relationships that start off VERY heavy in protocol (ie, the guy is submitting right out of the gate, and the woman is dominating right out of the gate) tend to lack substance. If I am meeting a guy online or in a kinky venue, unless it's in an "established roleplay space" (like a kinky chatroom where the atmosphere is agreed upon), my motto to sub men is, "Don't kiss my ass unless I'm sitting on your face."

In the vanilla world, I always approached men differently. I wanted to give cues that I was dominant in my sensual/sexual style, so ironically, I'd be more aggressive. If I acted that way toward sub men in initial encounters, the sub men would go way overboard in return, if that makes sense, so I prefer to behave on mutual terms until some power exchange is in place, or flirtation kicks off.

Akasha

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

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RE: Mistress Basics "help" - 7/26/2012 6:28:36 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Just join the local Denver scene. As I recall, I gave you a rundown of the local scene last time you asked a question.


I wanted to point this out to her on her newest thread, but all I could find was you suggesting this:

quote:

NewbieMistress, this is kinda hijacking your thread, but you live in the greater Denver area. If you'd like to venture out from the cyber world, there are a LOT of play parties locally and opportunities for a Dominant woman to play in real life.


_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

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RE: Mistress Basics "help" - 7/26/2012 10:31:57 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Throwing this in for good measure.



http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3521731

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Mistress Basics "help" - 7/26/2012 12:20:50 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I really liked this part:

In a number of cases, I do tend to think that folks would do better on these boards if they would make the personal investment of reading a book or having some experience before posting here. The thing is they have to be willing to do the work. Even if it's just research, they would get such a better response if they were willing to have some initiative. Nobody can convince Me that I should have a more vested role in their education than they should have in themselves.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Mistress Basics "help" - 7/26/2012 12:24:38 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		It's the truth. Just like the gal who wants to know what dominance feels like in General. Really?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to kalikshama)
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RE: Mistress Basics "help" - 7/26/2012 12:36:53 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's the truth. Just like the gal who wants to know what dominance feels like in General. Really?


In general it feels pretty good, and it tastes just like chicken but has no calories... Or was that the wrong answer?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Mistress Basics "help" - 7/26/2012 4:50:36 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's the truth. Just like the gal who wants to know what dominance feels like in General. Really?


In general it feels pretty good, and it tastes just like chicken but has no calories... Or was that the wrong answer?



_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


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Profile   Post #: 13
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