RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s?

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (Full Version)

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littlewonder -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/3/2013 5:19:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: egern quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder and you don't do that in other non bdsm relationships? In all my relationships, be they bdsm or otherwise, someone was always in power. For me it's always been men because I'm attracted to dominant personality men, whether they know about or are not interested in bdsm or they are. And bdsm dating isn't any different than "other" dating. You meet, you go out for awhile, you get to know each other. Bdsm isn't different. It's not special, it's not deeper. It is the exact same. Well, I do not agree. But I have been up all night, and now I need to close my eyes for a bit. Maybe later? Don't bother.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/3/2013 10:07:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ARIES83 Hey... I'm a FinDom sometimes! ARIES This is nice and honest. Most of the time however, when a lady says this, she might as well ask to be stoned to death, and called "bad prostitute." *What am I thinking, flying right into the fire?!*

TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/4/2013 12:55:31 PM)
That's what we are attempting to correct. Incorrect thinking like that. Some people want to be educated, others will simply remain ignorant.

AllisonWilder -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/4/2013 4:47:01 PM)
The fact of the matter here is that it really just doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of anyone else. At the end of the day I know I'm not a prostitute and to be honest, I don't really even care about the label all that much. It's just a word, same as any other. It just doesn't matter. Some people will use financial domination to take advantage, some won't. Only they know who they are. Block them from contacting you, hide the profile and move on with your life. :)

TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/4/2013 6:26:38 PM)
See this is why she is so classy. :)

AllisonWilder -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/4/2013 10:37:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TNDommeK See this is why she is so classy. :) I feel bad just shutting conversation down like that, but really, it just doesn't matter. We'll never get people to see us in the right light because there are so many scammers out there ruining it for everyone. I get that people have a hate-on for findommes because what they see is something that's not right. It sucks, but c'est la vie.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/4/2013 11:31:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TNDommeK That's what we are attempting to correct. Incorrect thinking like that. Some people want to be educated, others will simply remain ignorant. Good enough. Can't hope for anything more.

MissToYouRedux -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/4/2013 11:50:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig Good enough. Can't hope for anything more. Welcome back! Good to see you. :)

TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/5/2013 12:09:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder quote: ORIGINAL: TNDommeK See this is why she is so classy. :) I feel bad just shutting conversation down like that, but really, it just doesn't matter. We'll never get people to see us in the right light because there are so many scammers out there ruining it for everyone. I get that people have a hate-on for findommes because what they see is something that's not right. It sucks, but c'est la vie. Yes, sadly. You're right.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/5/2013 12:10:35 AM)
Thank you kindly. Its good to be back. [:)] M

egern -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/5/2013 4:14:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder quote: ORIGINAL: egern quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder and you don't do that in other non bdsm relationships? In all my relationships, be they bdsm or otherwise, someone was always in power. For me it's always been men because I'm attracted to dominant personality men, whether they know about or are not interested in bdsm or they are. And bdsm dating isn't any different than "other" dating. You meet, you go out for awhile, you get to know each other. Bdsm isn't different. It's not special, it's not deeper. It is the exact same. Well, I do not agree. But I have been up all night, and now I need to close my eyes for a bit. Maybe later? Don't bother. I won't, then. If you are only writing to yourself, I won't interrupt ;-)

leonine -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/5/2013 4:32:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig quote: ORIGINAL: ARIES83 Hey... I'm a FinDom sometimes! ARIES This is nice and honest. Most of the time however, when a lady says this, she might as well ask to be stoned to death, and called "bad prostitute." But not here. Here, she identifies herself as one of the queens of the hill and gets a license to flame from the moderators. quote: ORIGINAL: TNDommeK That's what we are attempting to correct. Incorrect thinking like that. Some people want to be educated, others will simply remain ignorant. Gods forbid we should allow any incorrect thinking round here, when there are educators to correct us and tell us all what to think. Without their correction we'd just have to go on ignorantly thinking for ourselves. Seriously, have you any idea how stunningly arrogant that passage looks?

egern -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/5/2013 4:32:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TNDommeK That's what we are attempting to correct. Incorrect thinking like that. Some people want to be educated, others will simply remain ignorant. Topic aside, I still cannot quite understand why people do not have a right to an opinion here? You (generic you) keep saying people are hard on pros and findommes, but very few people have actually said anything against that. All have said that that is between the involved parties, all have said that whatever prostitution is it is ok, but some, including me, have had an opinion on how it affects us or whether it would be good to seperate these groups (commercial and non-commercial). This has gotten very impolite answers from pros to say the least, and at the start something that started to look like a mobbing on the person who dared to voice such an opinion. To me, a new member of CM, dropping in this thread as the very first one, it seems that the pros are very firmly in control of who can say what here. A question to you, and I do mean this a serious question to learn something I simply cannot grasp: WHY is it that people who think otherwise than you do in this question need to be 'educated'? About what? The only questions debated here is what to call it, which is a matter of personal semantics and, of course, law, and the question of whether some would like a non-commercial list. Where is the education in that? I am seriously asking you. And why is it ok to bash people who would like a non-commercial list? I am asking you, because I think you might answer me, and probably not even either patronizing or 'yelling'. Thanks.

AllisonWilder -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/5/2013 6:17:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: egern Topic aside, I still cannot quite understand why people do not have a right to an opinion here? Everyone has a right to an opinion, but I think that it (this thread) causes some to get a little defensive because it's turned into page after page of 'ALL findommes are prostitutes, scammers, liars, cheats, fake, etc.' and page after page of 'Some of us are actually into the fetish, some of us aren't like what you see every other profile, etc.' After so long, it just feels like we're going around and around in circles for no reason. quote: You (generic you) keep saying people are hard on pros and findommes, but very few people have actually said anything against that. All have said that that is between the involved parties, all have said that whatever prostitution is it is ok, but some, including me, have had an opinion on how it affects us or whether it would be good to seperate these groups (commercial and non-commercial). This has gotten very impolite answers from pros to say the least, and at the start something that started to look like a mobbing on the person who dared to voice such an opinion. I personally don't want to be on a site where I'm separated from everyone else. I don't solicit anyone, I'm not even currently looking for someone, I just like to chat most of the time. Just because I'm a findomme doesn't mean that I shouldn't have the ability to chat with other kink-minded (non-financial) people. I'm also a lifestyle domme and separating me from all non-commercial folks means that I wouldn't get to talk to some really freakin' awesome people. quote: To me, a new member of CM, dropping in this thread as the very first one, it seems that the pros are very firmly in control of who can say what here. A question to you, and I do mean this a serious question to learn something I simply cannot grasp: WHY is it that people who think otherwise than you do in this question need to be 'educated'? About what? The only questions debated here is what to call it, which is a matter of personal semantics and, of course, law, and the question of whether some would like a non-commercial list. Where is the education in that? I am seriously asking you. And why is it ok to bash people who would like a non-commercial list? I am asking you, because I think you might answer me, and probably not even either patronizing or 'yelling'. Thanks. I don't speak for anyone but myself, but as far as the 'education' goes, it's a lot about titles and such, at least for me. I hate being lumped in with 19 year old bratty princesses because that's just not how I act at all. I don't flip people off, tell them they're losers and make them beg for the possibility of my attention. I don't think it's okay to bash anyone at all, no matter where they stand on separating pro and findommes from everyone else.

TheLilSquaw -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/5/2013 7:39:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: egern Topic aside, I still cannot quite understand why people do not have a right to an opinion here? Everyone has a right to an opinion. My issue is when people start stating that opinion as fact, which has happened in this thread. Even in regards to what is prostitution and what isn't. quote: All have said that that is between the involved parties, all have said that whatever prostitution is it is ok, but some, including me, have had an opinion on how it affects us or whether it would be good to seperate these groups (commercial and non-commercial). Again, not everyone sees financial domination as "commercial" many myself including see financial domination as another aspect of control within MY d/s relationships. And again, what about those of us who are both lifestyle and pros who practice financial domination? Where do we fit into you grouping of "commercial" and "non-commercial"? quote: This has gotten very impolite answers from pros to say the least, and at the start something that started to look like a mobbing on the person who dared to voice such an opinion. To me, a new member of CM, dropping in this thread as the very first one, it seems that the pros are very firmly in control of who can say what here. To ME calling me a prostitute isn't polite. It's name calling not because I personally have issues with prostitution but because by definition I am NOT a prostitute. I get just offended when someone calls me a white girl. ETA: How do you think a new dom/me or sub/slave who practices financial domination feels when the 1st post they read calls them prostitutes, users, or desperate for participating in this kink or having these dynamics? quote: A question to you, and I do mean this a serious question to learn something I simply cannot grasp: WHY is it that people who think otherwise than you do in this question need to be 'educated'? About what? The only questions debated here is what to call it, which is a matter of personal semantics and, of course, law, and the question of whether some would like a non-commercial list. Where is the education in that? I am seriously asking you. And why is it ok to bash people who would like a non-commercial list? I am asking you, because I think you might answer me, and probably not even either patronizing or 'yelling'. There are many people who don't know what financial domination is or that there are various types of financial domination. So, yes. IMO some of what I do when I discuss this topic is educate those people on those facts. Just as someone who understand or has experience in needle play can educate me on how it's done and what it entails. To ME it's no about semantics. To ME it's about not allowing someone to paint ME with a broad definition that doesn't fit ME. It's about standing up for who, what I am. Why is it okay to bash and call people who are pros or practice financial domination names? Or insult us, our relationships or what we do? For the record. I have never insulted people for not liking financial domination or the fact that I am a professional switch. I have been insulted, even by YOU. Again to ME calling me a prostitute is an insult because it's not what I am. LP asked this and I am going to ask you directly. Have you EVER gone to a lifestyle munch or function where professional dom/me, professional switches, or professional subs where REQUIRED to where a mark setting themselves apart from the others at the function??

EsotericLady -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/5/2013 8:14:00 AM)
I honestly and truly don't care if someone is a Fin-Domme, Pro Domme, or whatever. I really don't. It doesn't affect me nor have any bearing on my life. The only thing that DOES bother me are all these little 20 year old girls that are appearing en masse on this site that are playing it up as being some big, bad Fin-Dommes, hoping to make an easy buck. It bothers me when (any) really young people act like those who give them money should feel privileged that the kids would even accept it.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/5/2013 8:53:00 AM)
Okay, after 45 pages, I'm getting sick of my own thread. [sm=diethreaddie.gif] I haven't heard any new thoughts/opinions voiced in the last 30 pages or so. So let me summarize what I've gotten from the past 45 pages. -Financial domination is probably the most polarizing topic discussed on the boards. -People tend to fall into three key camps when it comes to financial domination: 1. Those who think that all financial Dommes are prostitutes, fakes, scammers, the spawn of Satan, etc. 2. Those who think that what happens between consenting adults is nobody else's business (i.e. YKINMKBYKIOK). 3. Those who think that financial domination is a viable part of BDSM, and who will defend it until they die. -There are various TYPES of financial Dommes 1) Scammers (These are often men pretending to be women, or Nigerians) 2) Bratty princesses - Usually 18-25 years old. They don't tend to have any interest in BDSM except to "rape wallets". 3) Pro Dommes who also accept "tribute". 4) Life style Dommes who control the finances of their subs/slaves. 5) Financial Dommes who build real, long-term D/s relationships with their "financial subs". -Some people believe that the person who has the money is actually in the dominant position. -Some believe that a true Dom/Domme has the right to control everything, including their sub's money. -Some people believe that it is inaccurate from a legal standpoint to say that financial Dommes are "prostitutes". -Some say findoms should have to declare their "commercial" status, and that there should be a separate section for them. -Some say the findoms should be banned from CollarMe altogether. -Some think it's silly to segregate, and think it's easier to simply hide findom profiles if you don't want to see them. -Some (okay, 1 person in particular) say that women can't be dominant, and all of you "Dommes" are delusional fakes. -Some believe that the owners of CM actually encourage findoms because the site somehow makes money from them. -Financial Dommes who actually build relationships with their "clients" say that it's unfair to lump them in with the scammers. Those are my basic takeaways from the first 45 pages of this thread. So if you haven't read all 45 pages, you can just read this summary, and it pretty much captures what you've missed. Any questions? IMO, financial domination is a topic that it's probably best to just "agree to disagree" about. It appears that few opinions have actually been changed during the course of this 45 page thread. And if the thread continues for another 45 pages, I still doubt that anyone will be persuaded to change their opinion about financial Dommes. Can the church say "Amen"?

TheLilSquaw -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/5/2013 9:01:29 AM)
AMEN! GREAT summary btw. ...

JeffBC -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/5/2013 9:42:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder I feel bad just shutting conversation down like that, but really, it just doesn't matter. We'll never get people to see us in the right light because there are so many scammers out there ruining it for everyone. I get that people have a hate-on for findommes because what they see is something that's not right. It sucks, but c'est la vie. I feel that's perhaps overly jaded. My own opinion changed rather dramatically from the beginning to end of this thread. Granted, I was never in the "burn the witch!" category. But still, I was much more aware of the "spoiled bitch/pay pig" scenario than any other. Being a decent human will get other decent humans to see you in a different light. When you think about it, do you really care about the opinions of the rest?

AllisonWilder -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (2/5/2013 10:04:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder I feel bad just shutting conversation down like that, but really, it just doesn't matter. We'll never get people to see us in the right light because there are so many scammers out there ruining it for everyone. I get that people have a hate-on for findommes because what they see is something that's not right. It sucks, but c'est la vie. I feel that's perhaps overly jaded. My own opinion changed rather dramatically from the beginning to end of this thread. Granted, I was never in the "burn the witch!" category. But still, I was much more aware of the "spoiled bitch/pay pig" scenario than any other. I was hoping I didn't come across as jaded/bitchy, because I really didn't intend for that to be the case, I've just been trying to stay out of this thread because I feel like we're just beating a dead horse. People like it, people hate it, some people don't give a crap about it. quote: Being a decent human will get other decent humans to see you in a different light. When you think about it, do you really care about the opinions of the rest? Nope, I really don't care and actually the post I made before this one that you quoted basically said that at the end of the day, it just doesn't matter. It's really not a big deal to me. I feel that my name is known in these types of threads and while there will always be someone that hates me for what I do, it doesn't matter. It's just words on a screen to me.

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