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RE: Dilemmas, moral and other - 6/24/2006 7:23:39 AM

ZenDragoness

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Meatcleaver,

thank you for your words. There is no little dilemma of yours you would like to share?

Even a tea or coffee dilemma would be fine!

ZD

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RE: Dilemmas, moral and other - 6/24/2006 7:31:41 AM

ZenDragoness

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SusanofO,

thank you for your story. The whole concept of guilt is one i associate with the christian belief system. I witnessed it in my own family, my grandfather was a protestant minister.

On the other hand a strong christian belief helped my aunt to battle an alcolism, that was so heavy, that the doctors told my uncle (who is a doctor himself) that there are only tow possibilities: The one being, that she will end on a park bench or the other that she will be in this clinic successful. That was the kind of clinic, you can not leave on your own free will. She stayed there for 5 months and batteled successful. One evening i asked her, what she think the reason is, that she was successful, where my mother was not and she answered, that she had always her belief in god.

ZD

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RE: Dilemmas, moral and other - 6/24/2006 7:33:57 AM

meatcleaver

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Without looking for anyone, I met someone online. My dilemma was, should I tell my wife or not. I told her and discussed it with her over a long period of time. I even showed her emails. We were living under the same roof but really living seperate lives but I thought she should know so she wouldn't hear anything secondhand and be publicly humiliated.

Actually she told me she thought the woman in question was a 'cock tease' and she was! So maybe karma does exist.

However, we have remained great friends and we do a lot for each other though we are separated.

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RE: Dilemmas, moral and other - 6/24/2006 4:33:02 PM

SusanofO

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Well. This might seem intolerant of me to mention (probably is) but - one of my personal favorites, as far as justifications go, for judging any "morality" re: Other people's personal dilemma(s) or situations or "habits" (when people do this, w/no thought to "extenuatiing circumstances", if that's even applicable) is what I call the: "I'm a taxpayer!" argument.

As in, (for example) : "I'm a taxpayer, dammit. I don't want my kids going to school with..."

A). Kids whose Lesbian mothers are "out of the closet"

B). People who don't believe "stay-at-home" moms are better than working moms

C). People who voted Democrat in the last election

D). People who never go to church

E). ________________________

"But - I don't see why I should have to pay money to send my kid to a private school to potentially better avoid "these kinds of people". I pay my taxes to support the school system!" Etc. (Also, it means I might have to spend hours explaining not everyone in the world is "the same", regardless of whether or not I believe what they do is right or wrong or nuetral).

For heaven's sake - in the U.S. taxes are garnished from people's wages before they ever have a chance to see the money. If that was not the case, I am thinking this country would quickly see a whole lot of ex tax payers.

Thank God they are tax payers, huh? If they weren't, they might simply be just very vocal, mean (or young) old people.

Well, I am driving to Colorado - hope everyone has a good week. week (I think there is an internet cafe' in Estes Park. I think I am addicted to these message boards sometimes). - Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 6/24/2006 4:49:13 PM >

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RE: Dilemmas, moral and other - 6/24/2006 6:10:43 PM

scratchingpost

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I always told My mother I would wait till she died to deal with the shit My brothers did to her while she was alive. She said from the time I was small to please wait till after she died. SO within weeks of her death I systematically went and did everything I could to "correct" their behavior (ie I informed their jobs they were stealing equitment told the irs about their side jobs etc) My moral dilemma was that I wasnt really going after them for being a crook but that they were abusive asses to mom while she was alive. I knew while alive she beggged me not to but I figured once she was dead she would FINALLY have the wisdom to realize that her baby boys were just worthless pieces of shit and needed someone to ground them. I used to take their beatings for them so I figured I spared the rod and spoiled the children (even though they were alot older) and it was about time they faced the music.

sadly they ended up NOT getting in trouble but only a warning like usual and became even more smug rolls eyes.

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RE: Dilemmas, moral and other - 6/24/2006 7:46:44 PM

submissvelilbrat

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i recently told someone abut this, so i suppose that is why it is on my mind now.

when i was 19, i was engaged to someone i will always have a very deep love for. i moved to the east coast for a year for the opportunity to travel before marrying. he was fine with this..encouraged it..we had it all planned. he would come to NY for thanksgiving, i would return for christmas, he would come out for my birthday, i would come back for the summer, then he would come out in September and we would drive back home, and get married.

two weeks after i arrived in NY, i called and asked if he would send the last of my things to me. he said, "no problem, i will call you when they are on their way and let you know when you can expect them." he drove down the canyon to my friend's house to pick up the things and take them to UPS. after several hours, i still hadn't heard from him, and figured he had gone out with friends. later that evening, his mother called me and told me he had rolled his jeep in the canyon. he had been ejected from the vehicle, and it had rolled over him. he died.

his mother told me, "don't bother coming out for the funeral, i don't want you here. if you hadn't been so selfish and gone to NY, he would still be here." i desperately wanted to come home, to go to the funeral, to see him one last time.....but i was afraid to show up at the funeral after what she had said...i didn't know what she would do if i did.

i didn't go back for those reasons, and have regretted it, but still wonder if there would have been a scene if i had. i was embarassed after she said that to me, because what if i had stayed? would he still be around? what if i hadn't asked him to send my things? i still struggle with this sometimes...what if...a wonderful game, any number can play, and the possibilities are nearly endless.

12 years later i finally had the courage to go to his gravesite. i apologized to him for asking him to send my things, for going to New York, and for not coming back for his funeral. i sobbed and sobbed at his grave...he was a wonderful person, my first for many things, and i will always love and miss him.

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RE: Dilemmas, moral and other - 6/24/2006 9:17:53 PM

odinlove

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My dilemma is from allt he people are me. I have an apartment located right on a major mall strip and every day I hear about some kid getting hurt. Yesterday someone was stabbed. Today, someone, a girl with one arm was raped by four blacks in a closet trying to ride the bus. I know this chick. It is like porn gangster central. I requested a relocation from my tenency committee and they instead blamm others for lack of funds to process my relocation. Phoenix is dirty in the big city. Blood is spilt all over the place. My brother who I have not seen in years is in town this weekend with a one year old baby boy and I am too ashamed to invite him over my spot. This happons all the time in variences but the sickness of it is just flowering potency all over the place.

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RE: Dilemmas, moral and other - 6/24/2006 10:21:22 PM

Lordandmaster

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What ever gave you THAT idea?

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I think I am addicted to these message boards sometimes

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RE: Dilemmas, moral and other - 6/24/2006 10:33:47 PM

ZenDragoness

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Meatcleaver,

thank you for sharing this story. I think it is actually a brilliant example for doing something, that maybe at the time was not easy, but turned out very good. As my first husband and I seperated after 16 years we lived by the rule, that the strength of our love will also be proved by the way we seperate. So, we seperated in love, gave each other some time to come to terms with the new way of life. We are now very close and visit each other frequently, we do not live any longer in the same city.

ZD

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RE: Dilemmas, moral and other - 6/24/2006 10:35:37 PM

ZenDragoness

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SusanofO,

good point.

ZD

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RE: Dilemmas, moral and other - 6/24/2006 10:39:37 PM

ZenDragoness

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Scratchingpost,

thank you for writing about your brothers. It could have bettered them, if they had gotten a penality or whatever, that had hurt them, but only if they would have been young enough. In my experience it is nearly impossible to change people after a certain age.

ZD

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RE: Dilemmas, moral and other - 6/24/2006 10:43:21 PM

ZenDragoness

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Submissvelilbrat,

thank you for sharing this. I was very moved by your words and i am happy to know, that you went to his grave and talked to him.

ZD

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RE: Dilemmas, moral and other - 6/24/2006 10:45:06 PM

ZenDragoness

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Odinlove,

i am very sorry to read that you have to live in circumstances like this. Hope you will find a way to leave the neighbourhood.

ZD

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RE: Dilemmas, moral and other - 6/24/2006 11:09:29 PM

MistressDREAD

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quote:

Dilemmas, moral and other

I have no Moral Dilemmas, Im an Alternate Lifestyer
and morally inept and carry no guilt of such perfection.
~smiles evily~ Oh yea did I mention Im a Sadist ?

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RE: Dilemmas, moral and other - 6/25/2006 12:27:51 PM

ZenDragoness

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MistressDread,

i am happy to know that you are perfect.

ZD

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