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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 4:27:17 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I've never been able to beg on demand...especially for something he wants but I don't.

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 4:46:49 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Begging is an odd situation for me. If he just announces that I should do it then it's an empty motivation on my part and I can't quite get into it. Probably because in that situation I am simulating the emotion behind the begging. It's kind of like having someone give you something and saying 'be excited' - 'ok, now be sad'. If he asks me to beg than it's a contrived situation where I had no investment in it- there was nothing that inspired or solicited from me the feeling of want.

Saying "beg" just feels empty and rather silly. If I wanted something, was excited, or sad, then I'd have no problem showing the accompanying emotion. Sometimes I think if a Dominant did something slightly different like instead of saying "beg me for X" which is rather flat and emotionless, they said "would you like me to give you X? Really? Well, I'm not sure...maaaaybe. Do you want that?", in a teasing way, then it would be a more genuine solicitation of begging. I'm thinking if they put a little more into it then they would get more of what they're after. For me, just throwing some genuine begging out there on command isn't something I'm very good at.

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 5:15:26 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If he tells me no, then I drop it. Begging sincerely isn't something I can do. I asked, I was denied, I stopped asking.

So to be told to do it properly would annoy me no end. If there's something he needs me to say, then I need him to tell me what to say. Then I'll know what to say for next time.

But he can't tell me I have to mean it, because I won't.

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 5:16:14 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		I don't beg on command... what I do do (in part because I know He loves begging) is to beg for something spontaneously when it is offered.
begging isn't something that came natuarally to me...but under the right circumstance (when my head and heart are in it) it is hot.

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 5:43:54 PM   
SeeksYourService


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline 		Some tips on begging:

First off its the control, he wants to feel like you cant handle any more time without getting, his attention, or ____________

As we get more and more aroused its harder to resist we want to see that same angst in you.

So... fair reader.. how do we induce that feeling. Concentrate on what makes him happy what he likes and then, beg for that for example:

I love/want/need you Master please tell me what I can do to please you.

Please use me Master, please tell me how I can be a good girl.

As a slave you have a need to be owned or controlled, remember all your fantasy's and bring that out in the begging.

The trick is to make it real for you. You might not want spam luncheon meat on your head and a red vine licorice leash, BUT you do need to please your Master you do NEED to know that you are pleasing him. So young slave combine the two:

I will do anything for you Master, see the Spam, anything you wish, please tell me Im your good girl, please tell me you are happy with me.

Combining this with masturbation can let you start to condition your body to respond to begging. Begging to touch first and asking if you can touch yourself when you beg will start the process.

Of course we all long for release, so begging to cum.. forcing yourself to hold it until given permission will both drive your Master Crazy and start to condition your mind. You might want to look up NLP (hypnosis) with the right words in time you can be conditioned to actually cum on command, (or at least become wet).

Yea I know hard to believe, my dear one didn't believe me, and now its quite fun to have her perform in the ticket line or on an elevator. Its the focus. Your desire your need to please linking with his need to feel in control, powerful and receiving of your devotion.

Hope this makes sense, try the masturbation with the begging... Asking first of course and let me know how big of a grin your Master had.

Best,

Michael

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 6:00:58 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		Your partner begging for something can be fun
sometimes! Umm I think for a sub, seeing how
your dom reacts to you begging can be a good
insight into the dom as well...

I wouldn't often turn down a begging sub, but
that's not to say that begging should translate
into a sub getting what she want's.
To me this kind of thing is a great situation to be
in, yes it's a power and control thing... But it's
also a fun, versatile affirmation of the dynamic.

To me, a sub begging is her opening up, it's her
becoming vulnerable and her putting her needs
out there in the hopes you won't reject them/her.

I haven't often spurned out of hand a partner
begging, because I want to re-affirm and
encourage the things it symbolises.

If she deserves it, I really try to accommodate it.
If not, I wont, but I try to make her understand
that there is a reason why, making her
understand why I think she dosen't deserve it is
I think an important (and fun... cough) part.

That's not to say in "play times" I'm not a cunt,
I have been known to partake in more than a bit
of spurning, but play is a whole different kettle
of fish. IMO

But yer it's not for everyone, you need a good
beggar & beggee chemistry to have fun.

-Aries

< Message edited by ARIES83 -- 9/12/2012 6:07:41 PM >

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 7:43:24 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		The only time begging is hot to me is when I am saying, "Please stop, OMG, OMG, stop, I can't take it, etc. etc."

And that could be either from pain or pleasure.

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 9:30:56 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I was never able to beg until I met Master. Before him when someone told me to beg, it felt fake and contrived.

With Master however, I can beg pretty well because the things I want from him are things that I really really want. He knows how to deny me to the point of begging. Imo, if you feel you can't beg then either you really don't care about anything enough to beg for it, or you are having a problem with feeling vulnerable or to let go of control, or your Dom sucks at getting you to beg.


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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 9:45:46 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kontry

Perhaps I don't understand this simply because I do not specifically know how to beg... Any insight onto how to beg properly or just all around keys to a Master's mind into why they enjoy their slave to beg would be MUCH appreciated!


I despise the concept of begging, too. Whoa, a rare agreement with LadyHibiscus....! ;)

I think "Masters" who demand it are displaying their own low self esteem and that encouraging or demanding a sub to beg inevitably creates a whining sub who loses the ability to grasp when "no" means "NO!".

And I sure don't want that sub....

Focus.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 9:52:17 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Master has me beg at times and it's definitely not because he's insecure lol.

He's a sadist so of course he's going to make me beg sometimes. Plus there are times he wants me to beg just to see how badly I want something, to see how important it is to me....but most times it's just his sadistic bastard coming out.

Oh and I never have a problem knowing when he says no and means no. It's pretty simple really....a different tone of voice or a look is all it takes for me to know. And if for some reason I missed it and I start to beg, he just tells me to stop and that's the end. I just bite my lip and accept it even though I still walk around all day wishing I could do or not do what he says.


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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 11:17:02 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		She neglects to mention that she was, and I quote, "awful at begging" when we met.
Now she's a virtuoso. She could win awards.
You shoulda seen the way she begged when we played defcon for what, five months. That was bloody awesome.
Why do I like it?
I like the power. I like the control. I like watching sluts crawl and grovel. It's raw. It's primal. It's base emotion and it's real.
I like dismantling ego and stripping down to the slaveslutcunt underneath-the true her.
And I like the struggle she has to go through to get there, the emotional turmoil, the harsh fight with herself, the massive internal conflict...until she lets go and floats free and knows that it's all worthwhile to get to that place :-)

Yeah, that gives me big wood like Sequoia National Park.
And leaves her wet like the Everglades

< Message edited by Kana -- 9/12/2012 11:18:53 PM >

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/12/2012 11:58:40 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		It seems to me like the appeal for a lot of people is that it's hot to see your partner that eager and desperate.

For me, as a sub, I love having to beg during sex and play. I suppose it's because I get off on degradation and feeling powerless and having my ego subsumed. When I beg, it's supplication, an expression of my powerlessness, and a desire that overwhelms my pride. It makes me feel like I have no authority, no right to anything but what he sees fit to give me. It's a delicious headspace, probably the closest I get to subspace.

But I have to really want what I'm begging for. I mean, really really want. I can't bullshit it. The key for me , I guess, is to embrace how much I want it, how he's the only one that can grant it, and just.... let it out. Say how much you want him, how much it'll please him, just beg "please please oh god can I have it?" that kind of thing. Just don't be whiny. And then if he says no, accept that and stop begging.

< Message edited by graceadieu -- 9/13/2012 12:04:27 AM >

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/13/2012 12:14:25 AM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

I like the power. I like the control. I like watching sluts crawl and grovel. It's raw. It's primal. It's base emotion and it's real.
I like dismantling ego and stripping down to the slaveslutcunt underneath-the true her.
And I like the struggle she has to go through to get there, the emotional turmoil, the harsh fight with herself, the massive internal conflict...until she lets go and floats free and knows that it's all worthwhile to get to that place :-)


Yeah, mmm, this. Definitely. Feeling stripped down and brought low, turned into a wreck of need and thing, is just.... guh. Definitely kind of primal.

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/13/2012 4:45:01 AM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10540
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I despise begging. Which "most" are you referring to?

None that I see...

...but as for begging, it must be for something truly desired and otherwise unattainable.

If it isn't...it's an act and insincere.

< Message edited by MrRodgers -- 9/13/2012 4:47:11 AM >

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/13/2012 6:59:08 AM   
VideoAdminGamma


Posts: 2233
Status: offline 		Fast reply

I have pulled a few posts for being Off Topic/Hijacking and the replies to them. Please refrain from Off Topic comments that derail the discussion or posting about a different subject that hijacks the discussion. There is a Casual Banter section of the forums for the banter that goes on for many posts and can derail a discussion.

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Thank you for being a part of CollarMe,
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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/13/2012 10:18:45 AM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I don't tell him to beg. I just don't get into hearing empty begging just for the sake of begging. Now, if I'm doing a, umm, particular thing and he's saying "Take it out! Take it out! Please take it out!!" that's hot because he really means it. I love that kind of spontaneous begging. Of course, because he's a maso and I'm sadistic, I may or may not "take it out." lol

NBMG

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/13/2012 1:24:53 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Begging is not one of Masters kinks but he knows how to get me to the poing of begging. Since i can't do it on demand' if i tried it would sound so false, Ween i start begging Master knows i really want wahtever he is doing to me. Most times i can only get out please. Sometimes he says please what sweetheart then i have to tell him what i am Begging for(even though he knows). It works for us.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/13/2012 4:15:56 PM   
FrankAr


Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		When I start with my females they know from the outset that they really do not get anything from me in an easy way. They do not orgasm, they do not taste me, their clothes are set out....apart from work....,their life revolves around me. If they want something, unless it is already been talked about, then they ask. I look at the options and give them an answer, simple. In the heat of passion and they want release, bloody oath they beg, I am just a controlling barstard.


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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/15/2012 7:13:53 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:



Why is it that most enjoy "begging"?


Begging is annoying. Talk normal.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/15/2012 7:35:34 AM   
Salinedion


Posts: 198
Joined: 5/25/2012
Status: offline 		Def. down to the specific chemistry between partners.

Clearing up whether you're 100% anti-begging in all cases or just not feelin' it at the moment with the Dark Lord du Jour is the key to a happy, slavey life.

In our deal, we've had a broad orientation from day one that she asks and offers in our daily life -a lot.

She asks for quality submissive times when she wants it and she offers up lots or juicy slavey behavior unprompted because I love it and she loves being my girl.

And in the broader vanilla part of our lives, she runs stuff by me more than the average spouse and she's always sweetly and eagerly at my beck and call, offering me everything (both implicitly and explicitly) from shoe removal to deep throating. We read as couple who's just really, really into each other.

And with all those lusciously controlled geisha behavior endophins sloshing through her sweet pussy, she does get pretty beggy.

And I have directed and trained her begging more to my liking. And that does make us both come super-hard.

But for us, begging is the end result of a lot of low simmering D/S focus. The more we focus on our emotional/sexual bond, the more joyous our relationship is.

Just demanding begging out of the blue seems very backwards. It's like demanding gravy when you forgot to make a pot roast. You can be so busy chasing BDSM tropes that you miss the richness of the PROCESS of working on the head space.

Our individual chemistry makes this a sane, mutually nurturing, organic impulse on which to structure a life long partnership. Like Jazz, you either get it or you don't.

< Message edited by Salinedion -- 9/15/2012 7:44:35 AM >

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