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RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/15/2012 7:40:48 AM

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
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Greetings

For me and Aswad it have to do with entitlement vs control, then one who is begging have to ask, often in a somewhat humiliating tone for something, the one who is begging is not the one with the control. Also to beg for something that might be considered humiliating, to be ordered to beg for a whipping for example is very humiliating and I find that when we play both me and Aswad enjoy that because of the power play aspects of it, or at least that is how it is for us.

I wish you well

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

(in reply to kontry)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/15/2012 3:18:46 PM

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

She neglects to mention that she was, and I quote, "awful at begging" when we met.
Now she's a virtuoso. She could win awards.
You shoulda seen the way she begged when we played defcon for what, five months. That was bloody awesome.
Why do I like it?
I like the power. I like the control. I like watching sluts crawl and grovel. It's raw. It's primal. It's base emotion and it's real.
I like dismantling ego and stripping down to the slaveslutcunt underneath-the true her.
And I like the struggle she has to go through to get there, the emotional turmoil, the harsh fight with herself, the massive internal conflict...until she lets go and floats free and knows that it's all worthwhile to get to that place :-)

Yeah, that gives me big wood like Sequoia National Park.
And leaves her wet like the Everglades

Just to state the obvious (and that I think you and littlewonder already get it), I merely posted my generalised opinion on begging per se' and am not judging anyone's personal dynamic.

That said (uh-ohhhh... lol), much of what you've posted (eg "watching sluts crawl and grovel" or "It's raw. It's primal." etc) has exactly the opposite effect to me. Kinda like that bullies can only feel strong by making the relatively weak feel weaker - *IMO*. Yet, is that not "raw and primal", too?

Ok, getting too much like I am judging you - and my apologies if I've offended. But me, I'm a "lift the girl up and inspire her to serve me" type rather than "use her to lift me higher" type. Begging has a place nonetheless, and I reserve that for when she's approaching sexual release. 'Cause I just want her to have it when *I* permit - which obviously is anytime after it's "hurting" her not to.

Be well.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Kana)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/15/2012 4:54:01 PM

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Peeking my head up from the basement... to say I understand the difference in views above me. Though I do understand Kana's point, I don't think it has a damned thing to do with "bullying" or to push someone else down to build yourself up. Rather my own personal opinion is that it has to do with

quote:

It's base emotion and it's real.

I understand that Kana's choice of vocabulary might be off-putting to some people but I think the crux of his statement is right there. It is stripping of sense of self as he stated, it is watching the dynamic of exchange at it's most base. It is part of an energy exchange, which is intense as all hell, which is capable of touching everyone involved and it definitely can open doors with in which have been shut for lengthy periods of time.

Anything which is done with in the framework of BDSM can be perceived as abusive, bullying, cruel... but the context, the intent, the energy which flows between people... that which is sought can also border upon spiritual if you will, at the very least, altered states of perception. That element alone, kicks fucking ass as far as any dynamic. The loss of time, self, the intimacy, trust, intensity, exchange... all of it definitely takes away from the "normal" interactions which we participate in and colors the way we perceive our own roles, our own interactions.

Or it doesn't do a fucking thing and nothing which I wrote means jack shit.

Fuck it, I am going back to the basement now.

(in reply to Focus50)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/15/2012 8:11:33 PM

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What Cryptic said. That pretty much explains it. And by going to the base, that lifts me up and makes me a better slave and a better person. But there are times when it IS all about him and not about me at all, but that's why I'm his slave and not a submissive or painslut.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/15/2012 8:56:48 PM

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: nephandi

Greetings

For me and Aswad it have to do with entitlement vs control, then one who is begging have to ask, often in a somewhat humiliating tone for something, the one who is begging is not the one with the control. Also to beg for something that might be considered humiliating, to be ordered to beg for a whipping for example is very humiliating and I find that when we play both me and Aswad enjoy that because of the power play aspects of it, or at least that is how it is for us.

I wish you well

As a sub I enjoy begging. But I don't beg unless I'm asked to beg for it.
As a sub, generally, I don't ask for anything in the first place, it's not my place. Even if I wish for something sexual to be done to me, I won't request for it, and leave it up the master to make the full decision on what will or will not happen and just accept it.
But as nephandi said, the humiliation factor of being asked to beg for cock, or a whipping, or being asked to beg for something you don't even like itself is arousing for me.

(in reply to nephandi)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/16/2012 12:25:15 AM

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CRYPTICLXVI

Though I do understand Kana's point, I don't think it has a damned thing to do with "bullying" or to push someone else down to build yourself up.

Just to nitpick; I didn't say (or mean to imply) that Kana was bullying littlewonder. Kana used an analogy of begging being "raw and primal" and I merely noted that "bullying" is also a primal act (of strong preying on the weak).

Of course, many a commonplace BDSM act exploits a dynamic that's otherwise socially unacceptable, even borderline abusive, esp to the average ignorant vanilla. That "society" doesn't approve even though that same society is fond of preaching that whatever happens between consenting adults is generally ok. Just don't fuel that mantra with details....

My D/s isn't someone else's etc, and vice versa. Me, I'm done with disclaimers; that I don't care for begging myself and posted as much.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/16/2012 3:23:59 AM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: CRYPTICLXVI

Though I do understand Kana's point, I don't think it has a damned thing to do with "bullying" or to push someone else down to build yourself up.

Just to nitpick; I didn't say (or mean to imply) that Kana was bullying littlewonder. Kana used an analogy of begging being "raw and primal" and I merely noted that "bullying" is also a primal act (of strong preying on the weak).

Focus.

Grins-Being a world champion nitpicker myowndangself, I'd like to point out that if you read the fine print reaaaaaaal close, you'll note that what I say is raw and primal is the power and the control.
Begging is just a physical release/manifestation that allows that power exchange to occur :-)

And despite the way it may sound, not all begging is rooted in BDSM (well, per see at least) nor is it sexual. For example-the lilone is an insomniac, no secret here, and a while back she went through a really bad spell, not sleeping for days, not functioning, unable to meet the demands of life.
So I told her no coffee.
Now, the lilone, she's pretty much an aesthetic, she lives like a trappist monk (Me? I'm an epic hedonist. I like more, better, faster, now. And make that a double.) and coffee is pretty much the one luxury she adores. And she's sooooooo addicted to it. And she bitched and whined and groveled and begged, but I held true.
Not to be a dick, not because I enjoyed forcing the decision on her (Though some small part of me did get some joy out of it), but because it was in her best interest and it was something she wouldn't do herself unless ordered too.
Now the TPE entered into this in that I gave an order and she obeyed (Damn skippy she did) but otherwise none of her begging had anything to do with the sex or kink at all.

Or maybe it had everything to do with it.
That's someone else's call. Doesn't matter to me.

I know that I do what I can by mine to take care of her in the very best way I can.
And sometimes that means breaking her down, getting rid of that veneer of civilization she's been taught so well, that mask she wears so tight, and reduce her to what she is, a slut ruled by her cunt who needs to be owned mind body and soul.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Focus50)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/16/2012 5:02:27 PM

Posts: 3907
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: CRYPTICLXVI

Though I do understand Kana's point, I don't think it has a damned thing to do with "bullying" or to push someone else down to build yourself up.

Just to nitpick; I didn't say (or mean to imply) that Kana was bullying littlewonder. Kana used an analogy of begging being "raw and primal" and I merely noted that "bullying" is also a primal act (of strong preying on the weak).

SNIP

Focus.

I attempted to make it clear, I was not commenting on either you or Kana, I was taking two comments and commenting on them. That is all. Everything I posted, I attempted to make clear that it was my perspective. Nothing personal, but I couldn't give a fuck how you or Kana or Bob in Missoula, Montana does anything in their personal relationships. I was just making a general post, trying really fucking hard not to do anything which could be seen as worthy of pulling my post as I wanted to share my perspective and insight on this particular topic.

There was absolutely no personal attacks, judgments or provocation meant or intended in my post. Sorry, if anyone involved was insulted, felt slighted or that they were unfairly represented.

Thank you...

The gentle and unassuming (I have witnesses) Cryptic.

(in reply to Focus50)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/16/2012 7:14:47 PM

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Joined: 5/10/2011
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I've looked carefully but no one has addressed voluntary begging. I guess those are more easily labelled as 'requests'.

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There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/16/2012 8:32:18 PM

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http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4238630

That was more toward "voluntary begging".

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530 DAYS

(in reply to RemoteUser)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/16/2012 9:09:41 PM

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not quite sure what you mean by voluntary begging. Isn't all begging voluntary? I beg for him when I want something that he denies me, such as coffee. He's not forcing me to beg. I beg when he wants to play defcon because I wanna have an orgasm. It's voluntary. He's not telling me to do so, he's not ordering me to beg. It just comes out of me because it's something I so desperately want.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to ARIES83)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/16/2012 9:41:23 PM

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CRYPTICLXVI

I attempted to make it clear, I was not commenting on either you or Kana, I was taking two comments and commenting on them. That is all. Everything I posted, I attempted to make clear that it was my perspective. Nothing personal, but I couldn't give a fuck how you or Kana or Bob in Missoula, Montana does anything in their personal relationships. I was just making a general post, trying really fucking hard not to do anything which could be seen as worthy of pulling my post as I wanted to share my perspective and insight on this particular topic.

There was absolutely no personal attacks, judgments or provocation meant or intended in my post. Sorry, if anyone involved was insulted, felt slighted or that they were unfairly represented.

Thank you...

The gentle and unassuming (I have witnesses) Cryptic.

Kaaaaaay.....

Errrm, thanks for now putting your basement into perspective (from earlier).

Me, I was having a discussion....

Meh.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/16/2012 9:45:54 PM

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

I think of it like... you want something and you
know you have to ask approval or convince your
partner to be allowed to have it, and I guess
pleading/ begging can be part of that.
But the begger is the one that chooses to beg or
go without.

I guess involuntary I think of as more what kana
was saying, where what the sub actually wants isn't
a big part of the situation and it's the begging that
is the main attraction.
And maybe the sub doesn't even want to beg.

I'm sure a non-maso like you can relate to the fact
that begging for pain isn't really self motivated stuff,
but I'm sure kana has gotten you to beg for things
that you don't want before, him being the evil
basement cat that he is?

-Aries

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/16/2012 10:15:24 PM

Posts: 15659
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Anytime I've begged for something I didn't want, the alternative was either worse or I wanted him to stop doing what he was doing and if that meant taking on the alternative then I'd beg for that just to get him to stop doing what he was doing.

I guess I still don't see that as involuntary. I make the choice to beg or not. He's never told me to beg for something just as some kind of roleplay or faux begging.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to ARIES83)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/16/2012 10:38:10 PM

Posts: 3648
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Anytime I've begged for something I didn't want, the alternative was either worse or I wanted him to stop doing what he was doing and if that meant taking on the alternative then I'd beg for that just to get him to stop doing what he was doing.

Hahaha! MWAAAA HAR... Cough cough, I mean,
You poor poor thing, that's terrible

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/17/2012 7:02:21 AM

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Joined: 6/7/2005
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For my owner, begging is somewhat akin to 'gagging for it'.

I'm not very good at asking for what I want, but he is very good at knowing what I want and need, so he will tease and titillate until I am literally gagging for it (whatever IT is), at which point I break down the barriers and ask. If he is not convinced that my request was passionate enough, he will continue to deny my want until I am practically willing to do or say anything to get that desire filled.

A seemingly tame but powerful example of this was he denied all kisses and cuddles until I begged him to fuck me. We had otherwise had a very romantic evening but every time I went to touch him he smiled and turned away stating when I could beg, he would acquiesce. This constant denial fueled my fire, and he knew it. For him it's about breaking down my ego/pride, often a stumbling block in my submission.

(in reply to ARIES83)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/17/2012 7:25:03 AM

Kana

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Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

I'm sure a non-maso like you can relate to the fact
that begging for pain isn't really self motivated stuff,
but I'm sure kana has gotten you to beg for things
that you don't want before, him being the evil
basement cat that he is?

-Aries

Oh no. Kana would never do something like get her all riled up, take her to the edge of orgasm, keep her there for an hour or so, then, belt dangling from hand, offer her a choice-twenty straight across the puss or no Big O, her call...
Then sit back and watch her squirm.
Nonono.
Kana would never do anything like that. Not at all.
He would never set two trains loose in her head, aiming them at one another, with her caught in the middle.
Not kinder gentler considerate Kana

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to ARIES83)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/17/2012 8:01:27 AM

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Joined: 7/29/2012
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I can relate to loveseat.. Only I have 2 Doms in my home one is my ex, the other a very good friend.
An we don't play at all!!
My friend Feels it could ruin our friendship, so I respect that.
Yet there are times I feel like begging just to play or torture me something..then I realize I can't .

I don't relate well when talking to someone new as my nerves get in the way.
Think of any ways to overcome this... As I freeze an cant say anything .
But fine online.

(in reply to Kana)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/18/2012 9:06:07 AM

Posts: 3245
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quote:

As a sub I enjoy begging. But I don't beg unless I'm asked to beg for it.

All the subs I have had the pleasure of closely knowing over the years, tammystarm, darkwingedangel, sindere11a, wendyknows, shortblondsub, have all shared this attribute. Perhaps I was just lucky. Perhaps it is in fact an attribute most submissive women share? I cannot help but think so. Perhaps it is the chemistry between a certain man and a certain woman. Perhaps it is the man. I like to think so but that does not make it certain. It just is.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to Greta75)

RE: Why is it that most enjoy "begging"? - 9/18/2012 3:18:38 PM

Kana

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Joined: 10/24/2006
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We're on day two of defcon and she's already begging two hours a day. This is wonderful.
Mavbe I'll let her cum for Xmas......maybe.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Arturas)

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