Can't stand it any longer, thus reaching out..............

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Can't stand it any longer, thus reaching out..............

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Can't stand it any longer, thus reaching out..............

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Can't stand it any longer, thus reaching out.............. - 6/12/2006 7:14:13 PM

fool

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline

I have alot to say and ask about, hopefully I can put it in a nutshell at first and
then go into some more detail if someone thinks they could shed some light on
my plight.

In my twenties I was involved in SM (note the SM and not BDSM) as a
"boy" to a "daddy." Never considered myself a submissive during that time as I am actually very aggressive and was so towards my girlfriends. But my top, hell ya,
would do anything she said and wanted to make her proud more then anything.

Anyhoo, I was out of the scene for several years and decided the time was right
to persue it again in the new city I moved into. And let me tell ya things are just
strange as hell and I don't know what is up or down or reality or my imagination or anything anymore.

For one thing, this is the 2nd dom in a row that has promised me the moon and stars upon first meeting pretty much. Who then several weeks later says basically
"nevermind." Without telling me how I messed it up!!!!

Yeah, they say the whole, "its not you, its me shit." But since it happened twice in a row now, I am beggining to wonder.

So, to keep this short, just hoping maybe someone can help me through this. I hate not understanding things.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Can't stand it any longer, thus reaching out.......... - 6/12/2006 8:39:56 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Well I am not sure why this is but it seems when folks get into the life they encounter sucker fish or sharks right away. They must smell new meat or something.

But if you are going to local events have no doubt you are being watched from the shadows, and these folks are probably more like the type you are looking for, Most of them were new at one time and got sucked by the suckers or chomped by the sharks and so they have learned to be patient, to sit and watch quietly, to use that time to hone their skills and develop real friendships, which i have no doubt is going to be the best course of action for you too.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to fool)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Can't stand it any longer, thus reaching out.......... - 6/12/2006 8:39:59 PM

CrescentLuna

Posts: 89
Joined: 6/3/2006
From: Upstate NY
Status: offline

Not a dom, but I can assure that if they're promising you the moon and stars on the first date - then it IS them, not you. This only the second dom, too. Go out, talk to more people - you're bound to run into doms that aren't as willing to mess with you.

(in reply to fool)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Can't stand it any longer, thus reaching out.......... - 6/12/2006 10:47:18 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

I'm sorry you're being dumped on without a good explanation...  These people are either dishonest about the reasons they got into/out of your relationship... Than there is fear of intimacy/commitment folks who simply cannot explain to you why they need to run.

My advice is to take things step by step (slowly if possible), and take everything he/she says with a grain of salt until he/she shows up with the stars and the moon.
You have to listen and watch people over time in order to develop complete trust in them.   Don't open yourself up to being completely taken advantage of until he/she shows you that he/she is also making self vulnerable by trusting you with what he/she is/has.
Good luck,   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to fool)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Can't stand it any longer, thus reaching out.......... - 6/13/2006 3:42:15 AM

MsCece2u

Posts: 85
Joined: 9/10/2005
From: DC
Status: offline

Like others have said start with your local community. Unfortunately there are as many fake Dommes out there as there are fake submissives so just have to sort through until you find that Gem. But anyone promising you so much before they have even gotten to know then be afraid be veryyyyyyyyyy afraid.

_____________________________

Ms Cece
Tis better to let people think that you are a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Profile

Post #: 5