RE: How would you have answered this?

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searching4mysir -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 6:24:54 AM)
FR While I prefer a more conversational way of getting to know people, one isn't "fake" because they may take a more clinical approach to finding compatibility. Because that's really what this is about, compatibility. I am not a masochist. I would not have been a good submissive for anyone who enjoyed pain play other than a few swats on the backside or a little tweaking/pulling/biting of the nipples (for me, it is about the control). If, in our conversations, I had found out that Master had liked causing me pain, permanent marks, etc., I would never have ended up choosing him for my Master. Had I needed those things and he wasn't really capable of it (because he is not a sadist), he never would have chosen me for his submissive. We needed to have similar limits. Now the OP seems to have been communicating with an analytical/linear thinking submissive, and that doesn't seem to be his style. It doesn't make either of them fake, it makes them potentially incompatible.

pyschosubmission -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 6:37:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TxShrouded This is a two part question to which answers of trust, respect, and all other such generalized answers are instant disqualifiers. Any man standing before a willing submissive may call himself a Dominant, but when may a Dominant legitimately and accurately call himself a Master? And there are significant differences between D/s and M/s, but what is the key element that distinguishes the two and why? Here's what I'd have sent... A pointless question you do propose, How best to answer I now suppose To tell it honest and tell it true In a way that will not be misconstrued I'll keep it simple, keep it clear You're an asshole I do solemnly fear.

RemoteUser -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 6:56:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TxShrouded This is a two part question to which answers of trust, respect, and all other such generalized answers are instant disqualifiers. Any man standing before a willing submissive may call himself a Dominant, but when may a Dominant legitimately and accurately call himself a Master? And there are significant differences between D/s and M/s, but what is the key element that distinguishes the two and why? 1. Accurately, at 2:17:46 AM. Legitimately, this time has twenty-four occurrences a day. 2. The key element is that one has a D, and the other has an M. I believe it has to do with one having a curved line, while the other does not. I now demand a cookie.

OsideGirl -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 8:22:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven if she has preconceived notions about what the "right" answers are and is holding sole decision power, I don't think I'd be up for her brand of submissiveness anyway. I agree with this. There are no set rules, labels or definition other than what works between those in the relationship. I know what the answers are for me, but that doesn't mean that everyone has to find those answers acceptable. I find her question very Castlerealm-ish. To me that doesn't mean that she's fake or not submissive. I think it does speaks of a lack of real world experience involving D/s outside of kinky sex.

Marc2b -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 9:16:32 AM)
I would have answered: "did I give you permission to speak?" Heh, heh, heh. Okay, Seriously... I don't have a problem with people asking "essay" questions, if they want, when they are first considering someone... especially before that first meeting. It is a way of getting inside someone's head, of understanding their mindset. There is nothing wrong with searching for the most compatible. As for the first Question my answer would be: "when he has mastered himself." I know some people consider this to be overly dramatic or even corny, but I remain convinced that a man has no business thinking he can master a woman if he can not master himself first. By "master himself" I don't just mean a man who is self sufficient but one who is in control of his emotions. I mean a man who can handle disappointment maturely and who doesn't fly off the handle if he gets angry about something. A man with a bad temper can never qualify as a master in my book. I should further qualify that I do not mean a man incapable of expressing his emotion (a stoic android is not a master). I do not consider it to be un-masterly for a man to express joy or sadness. Another way I look at this is: a slave should fear her master's displeasure (for this will result in punishment) but she should never have to be afraid of her master. A couple of questions of my own to further define what I mean. Question one. You slave has cooked your favorite meal for the first time. It is very good but a little saltier than you prefer. Do you: A) say "This is very good but next time a little less salt." or B) say "You stupid twat! Are you trying to give me high blood pressure?" Then throw the meal into the garbage while shouting, "No do it again you stupid twat!" Question Two. Your slave again makes your favorite meal and again uses too much salt. Do you: A) say "I told you to use a little less salt. If it happens again, you will be punished." (pointedly look at the metal ring embedded into the ceiling cross beam for dramatic effect). B) Grab her by the throat, and squeeze hard while using your other hand to slap and back hand her across the face hard enough to draw some blood while screaming, "you should have listened to me you dumb ass, worthless bitch! Why didn't you listen to me?" Continue to yell at her while she is sprawled on the floor, gasping for breath. If you answered A to both questions... congratulations, you are probably a master (this test is not comprehensive). If you answered B to the first question but not the second, you are not a master yet but with a little practice, you might get there. If you answered B to the second question but not the first, you have some anger management issues and should seek professional counseling... while you are serving your prison term. If you answered B to both questions, you are an abusing shit head who should do society a favor and shoot yourself. As for the second question (of the essay giver), there is no "one size fits all" answer for everyone. To me the dividing line is when the hand (as in a spanking) gives way to a leather instrument and/or when rope gives way to chains. -------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER: The above suggestion that some people should kill themselves was for humor purposes only (and a means for the author to register his contempt for certain kinds of individuals). The author of the above does not actually recommend suicide for anyone. This is strictly for selfish reasons on the part of the author who does not want to deal with the guilt of someone actually following such advice on his part.

TxShrouded -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 10:04:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder quote: ORIGINAL: TxShrouded I contacted someone who asked me the following question. When I did they said I was way off. I want to see how everyone else answers before I post my response. I just want to see how other would answer it.... ******************************************** This is a two part question to which answers of trust, respect, and all other such generalized answers are instant disqualifiers. Any man standing before a willing submissive may call himself a Dominant, but when may a Dominant legitimately and accurately call himself a Master? And there are significant differences between D/s and M/s, but what is the key element that distinguishes the two and why? ********************************************** Any man can stand before anyone at all and call himself a Dom. That doesn't make him one though. You can call yourself Ruler of the World. Still means diddley squat. For me a man calls himself a Master when he owns a slave. But again, you can call yourself a Master till the cows come home, doesn't mean you are one. For me personally, D/s is dominant and submissive and is usually less stringent and controlling. A sub has the right to say yes or no to anything that she wishes. M/s is Master/slave and is much more controlling since for us personally, means I said yes once. After that he has the right to do whatever he wants, whenever, however. I have the choice to leave or stay. Now like I said, this is my belief and how our relationship works. You can call yourself whatever you want and do whatever you want. In the end no one really cares except you and whoever you are involved with. This, in essence, was how I answered. My opinion is basically on of degree, a D/s relationship is one of directing and may include a significant vanilla aspect, a M/s relationship much less so.

TxShrouded -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 10:09:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SinFix Fr I say kudos to the submissive for having a clear idea on what he/she is looking for and for utilizing a way to weed out any that are not compatible with him/her. I don't see how any of this makes them less or even faux submissive. It just shows how incompatible you both are and no time was wasted. Would I answer the question sure, but with the knowledge that what I answer and what the sought out answer is may not mesh. I agree 100% that she should have a clear idea of what she wants. Another on here said she preferred a more conversational manner when getting to know someone (as do I), just to be clear, I didn't consider her fake at all. It's clear that she was real even thought I didn't cotton to her writing style. After I answered her question, this was her response: Honestly i thought the non response would be enough. But if you really want me to just say it, your answer was way off the mark and did not come anywhere close to reality. So obviousy the answer is a very big NO. But have fun on CM. I thought her style of writing was a bit snarky and adolescent and I was just getting a reality check here.

TxShrouded -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 10:15:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: TxShrouded I seem to see this more and more recently, subs/slaves who have the boiler plate mentality. They have a list of 99 points and if you don't agree or having a differing opinion you get "you're not a real Dom, you don't know what you're doing etc etc" as I said before, I'm surprised there seems to be a lot of kink intolerance here and a lot of people who have been in the life a year or two and have all the answers. No offense intended, but I wonder if their profiles may have red flags that you're missing. I've had no encounters with subs who were like that. It's possible, most likely it's my pictures LOL. I've re-written it a few times because I suspected it might be an issue. One of the big issues I have is that I've been doing this a long time, have done a lot of edge play (some rather extreme) and have a real taste for hard play, yet at the same time, I can be rather paternal (nurturing?). It seems subs fall into an either/or camp and can't get their minds around the fact that someone can be both or if you try to bridge both ends of the spectrum, you don't do with justice or do them well. I don't agree. As I said, I think each D/s,M/s relationship is 'hand built' and is really the product of the two specific people involved.

TxShrouded -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 10:21:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Marc2b I would have answered: "did I give you permission to speak?" Heh, heh, heh. Okay, Seriously... I don't have a problem with people asking "essay" questions, if they want, when they are first considering someone... especially before that first meeting. It is a way of getting inside someone's head, of understanding their mindset. There is nothing wrong with searching for the most compatible. As for the first Question my answer would be: "when he has mastered himself." I know some people consider this to be overly dramatic or even corny, but I remain convinced that a man has no business thinking he can master a woman if he can not master himself first. By "master himself" I don't just mean a man who is self sufficient but one who is in control of his emotions. I mean a man who can handle disappointment maturely and who doesn't fly off the handle if he gets angry about something. A man with a bad temper can never qualify as a master in my book. I should further qualify that I do not mean a man incapable of expressing his emotion (a stoic android is not a master). I do not consider it to be un-masterly for a man to express joy or sadness. Another way I look at this is: a slave should fear her master's displeasure (for this will result in punishment) but she should never have to be afraid of her master. A couple of questions of my own to further define what I mean. Question one. You slave has cooked your favorite meal for the first time. It is very good but a little saltier than you prefer. Do you: A) say "This is very good but next time a little less salt." or B) say "You stupid twat! Are you trying to give me high blood pressure?" Then throw the meal into the garbage while shouting, "No do it again you stupid twat!" Question Two. Your slave again makes your favorite meal and again uses too much salt. Do you: A) say "I told you to use a little less salt. If it happens again, you will be punished." (pointedly look at the metal ring embedded into the ceiling cross beam for dramatic effect). B) Grab her by the throat, and squeeze hard while using your other hand to slap and back hand her across the face hard enough to draw some blood while screaming, "you should have listened to me you dumb ass, worthless bitch! Why didn't you listen to me?" Continue to yell at her while she is sprawled on the floor, gasping for breath. If you answered A to both questions... congratulations, you are probably a master (this test is not comprehensive). If you answered B to the first question but not the second, you are not a master yet but with a little practice, you might get there. If you answered B to the second question but not the first, you have some anger management issues and should seek professional counseling... while you are serving your prison term. If you answered B to both questions, you are an abusing shit head who should do society a favor and shoot yourself. As for the second question (of the essay giver), there is no "one size fits all" answer for everyone. To me the dividing line is when the hand (as in a spanking) gives way to a leather instrument and/or when rope gives way to chains. -------------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER: The above suggestion that some people should kill themselves was for humor purposes only (and a means for the author to register his contempt for certain kinds of individuals). The author of the above does not actually recommend suicide for anyone. This is strictly for selfish reasons on the part of the author who does not want to deal with the guilt of someone actually following such advice on his part. I agreed with this big time and yes I answered A to both. One of the things I usually pass on to someone new (other than the responsibility issue I mentioned before) is that I don't agree with setting up a sub/slave for failure. I think that even in a M/s relationship, there's guidance as well as punishment. Another thing that I think (and that I see a lot now) is that if you are a Master and you want to use/punish/play/whip etc, do it because you want to do it and let her know that. Don't set up some false reason as an excuse because you aren't 'Dom' enough to do it on your own. I think it is destructive for the relationship and leaves her in a place where she never knows what's right and never is able to succeed in pleasing you.

SinFix -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 10:25:39 AM)
Well I will agree that her response could be snarky and adolescent but, it appears that she asked you the essay and you responded. She then read the response and it did not fall within her specific perimeters so she choose to not correspond anymore, now it sounds like you then asked about it, nothing wrong in that but yes a no response is a response, then she came back with this snarky response. I apologize if this isn't how it all went down, but again going on an assumption, but she is coming off as being fed up with the chaff and this is why she came up with this essay. I would chalk this up to a learning experience, shake my head at what some people think and go on with my search.

DaddySatyr -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 10:28:47 AM)
Well, it is blatently obvious to anyone that has any sense that masters are better than dominants and slaves are better than submissives. Everyone knows that. It's the reason the words entered into the BDSM lexicon; so that people could distinguish themselves as better/more than others that were just ... regular kinksters. Peace and comfort, Michael

darkenchantments -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 10:32:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TxShrouded I contacted someone who asked me the following question. When I did they said I was way off. I want to see how everyone else answers before I post my response. I just want to see how other would answer it.... ******************************************** This is a two part question to which answers of trust, respect, and all other such generalized answers are instant disqualifiers. Any man standing before a willing submissive may call himself a Dominant, but when may a Dominant legitimately and accurately call himself a Master? And there are significant differences between D/s and M/s, but what is the key element that distinguishes the two and why? ********************************************** 1. When he stops being such a pretentious twat! 2. D/s are worse than A/s, B/s or C/s, but M/s are a complete and utter fail!

crazyml -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 10:37:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myotherself A man is my Dominant when he inspires submission in me. A Dominant is my Master when we both believe it to be true. kerching! I like this one

TxShrouded -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 10:40:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SinFix Well I will agree that her response could be snarky and adolescent but, it appears that she asked you the essay and you responded. She then read the response and it did not fall within her specific perimeters so she choose to not correspond anymore, now it sounds like you then asked about it, nothing wrong in that but yes a no response is a response, then she came back with this snarky response. I apologize if this isn't how it all went down, but again going on an assumption, but she is coming off as being fed up with the chaff and this is why she came up with this essay. I would chalk this up to a learning experience, shake my head at what some people think and go on with my search. You're correct, that's pretty accurate. Obviously, we aren't a match and I have no issue with that. But I don't think this is a product of being fed up, I think it's more an age character issue. I'm not even so concerned with it but I posted my original thread because I'm seeing this more and more. I just wanted to see what everyone else thought and to see if they've experienced it as well. It seems from the posts that some have. BTW, about whom are you shaking your head?

SinFix -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 10:49:08 AM)
I was already going on a lot of assumptions and didn't want to throw in age. Again, I still stand by what I said about my reasoning of her being fed up. Though I say that as a female that was actively looking on this site at one time, so I can see where she may have come up with this as a way to weed out, again this is from my POF and in no way reflects everybody's experience or take on this. Well on her response for sure, but it was more of a metaphorical shake at some of the messages people receive and send on this site.

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 10:51:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TxShrouded Any man standing before a willing submissive may call himself a Dominant, Of course he can, but that doesn't mean he is one. but when may a Dominant legitimately and accurately call himself a Master? In my opinion, he must master himself before he can master another. He can say he's a master of (a particular thing), but he should master himself before he tries to master another human being. And there are significant differences between D/s and M/s, but what is the key element that distinguishes the two and why? In my opinion, what distinguishes them is the amount of control the the Dominant-type is given over the submissive-type. But really, all that matters is what the participants in that relationship think.

Alecta -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 11:32:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darkenchantments 1. When he stops being such a pretentious twat! 2. D/s are worse than A/s, B/s or C/s, but M/s are a complete and utter fail! This is my favourite lol

darkenchantments -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 11:52:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alecta quote: ORIGINAL: darkenchantments 1. When he stops being such a pretentious twat! 2. D/s are worse than A/s, B/s or C/s, but M/s are a complete and utter fail! This is my favourite lol lol. Thank you. I must admit to getting the wrong end of the stick here, because I thought from the post it was she who must be the Domme! I wondered why she was asking for an essay re Masters!! Doh!

TxShrouded -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 12:08:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SinFix I was already going on a lot of assumptions and didn't want to throw in age. Again, I still stand by what I said about my reasoning of her being fed up. Though I say that as a female that was actively looking on this site at one time, so I can see where she may have come up with this as a way to weed out, again this is from my POF and in no way reflects everybody's experience or take on this. Well on her response for sure, but it was more of a metaphorical shake at some of the messages people receive and send on this site. Fair enough, I appreciate your even handed response. I was curious as to what her "answer" was but she never responded. As I said, I'm more in to the exchange of ideas. Even if you don't match, it can be a pleasant conversation.

LadyPact -> RE: How would you have answered this? (10/9/2012 12:19:47 PM)
I'm kind of surprised at those who said they wouldn't have answered the question or that a person (submissive) who was looking for specific answers to the question was out of line. I happen to be a Dominant. I know what types of dynamics I wish to engage in. Other types aren't acceptable to Me. If a person wants to be in a dynamic with Me, it will be X. Why, when a person is looking, should they not be able to know what they want, just because they are submissive? You're on the net. The person who sent the questions has found the method that, to her, is the most effective to help her determine matters of compatibility. The fact that certain D types didn't like it says more about them than it does about her.

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