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RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 1:39:35 AM

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

Harlan Ellison responds to all his fan mail. Piers Anthony does, too. Orson Scott Card employs someone to help him in the effort. I remember my little brother getting a signed photo from Barbara Feldon when we were kids.

I sincerely doubt that any of those people were sending responses out to folks and then got more abusive replies than otherwise.

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
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(in reply to descrite)

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 1:42:55 AM

BoundSlave4Life

Posts: 116
Joined: 7/25/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

quote:

To expect a complete stranger you've never met to respond to your advances stinks of an overblown sense of entitlement. They don't know him, clearly they don't want to know him, and quite possibly the mail has went straight to the bulk folder anyway

Bound-- I said it before: just hide your profile. Your profile is an explicit (not even tacit!) invitation for communication; by failing to respond, you're basically telling men to audition for you, then ignoring their performance when they do. That's a shitty thing to do to anyone.

At 0 point did I ever complain about being overrun with messages, nor will I ever. I DO respond to all of the messages that I receive with the intention of potentially owning me with "Owned, Collared, Engaged, and happy. You're an idiot for not reading my profile before you propositioned to take ownership of me. Not interested" and 8/10 they will back off.
I also respond proper messages with very polite conversation, many of which has been ongoing for a number of months now.
I don't "Fail" to respond, nor do I tell anyone to "Preform". If you would have taken the few moments to read my profile you'd SEE that I am MORE than happy (And able) to speak with whomever messages me. I even respond to the rude ingrates who lack basic respect.

I state on my profile that I'm here to make friends and expand Master's "Family". Nothing more, and you are rather arrogant and ignorant to assume that I would be so rude and... well... fake... to "Tell" men to "audition" for me when I'm OWNED, COLLARED and ENGAGED.

(in reply to descrite)

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 1:43:55 AM

Posts: 50
Joined: 8/31/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

Harlan Ellison responds to all his fan mail. Piers Anthony does, too. Orson Scott Card employs someone to help him in the effort. I remember my little brother getting a signed photo from Barbara Feldon when we were kids.

Well good for them. some people have the time and effort available to respond to lots of random people. Especially when they're rich celebrities who have something to gain in public image

quote:

No disrespect intended, but are you saying that the person whose sole accomplishments are being subby and owning a twat is someone less obliged to respond to admirers?

no not "less" obliged. Completely "not" obliged at all. Nobody is. unless someone is actually being paid to answer mail, nobody has an obligation to do it. And unlike the aforementioned rich celebrities, a private citizen who is here for the personal purpose of finding love, has no reason to respond to things they don't want to.

quote:

I think you misunderstand the meaning of the word "entitlement." Someone who thinks so little of the admiration of others,

Admiration may be given, and not accepted. It's not an essential thing, many people largely don't care about it. And to expect that people should be thankful because YOU deigned to take an interest in them, is arrogant.

quote:

someone who expects the offers to continue pouring in,

a reasonable expectation, because the offers do continue pouring in. One person being butthurt about not getting a reply does nothing to affect things/

quote:

even when they are negligently rude after having invited the attention, that is the person who has a sense of entitlement.

having a line of communication open is not necessarily an entitlement. Do you invite salespeople by having a front door on your house, or a phone line? Most sane people who have a profile on a dating site will have written in it, some sort of criteria about who they are or what they're looking for. it's up to people with basic human intelligence to use that as a barometer of whether it's worth their time messaging.

quote:

Another solution: include this on your profile-- "Sorry...I'm overwhelmed by messages at the moment, and I'm looking for something specific. If you're not [in the area/over 6'0"/hung like a musk ox], please don't send me a message right now." Then feel free to ignore the ones that don't meet the criteria and response anyway. At least then they'll have an idea why you ignored them. Fair?

Another solution isn't needed. Someone can feel free to ignore messages without writing anything of the sort, and it's still perfectly fair. Someone's time and attention are their own, and you're just as free to not send messages, as someone is to not read them or not respond. if you voluntarily enter into communication by email you can't necessarily expect that the other will do likewise

quote:

Who has so much attention that they can spurn some more?

pretty much everyone who isn't a man, and certain men too.

quote:

I have replied to every message anyone has ever sent me, here, FL, Facebook, OKCupid...be they attractive, in my region, or even the wrong gender.

good for you that that's manageable. I stopped doing that when it started to feel like a job, that i wasn't getting paid for.

quote:

I'm always flattered when someone has something nice to say about me, and took the time to tell me.

perhaps because you don't hear it very often. I seem to get compliments everyday and i'm rarely flattered, usually because it's the same trite crap that plenty have tried before.

tldr; stop whining

(in reply to descrite)

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 1:49:20 AM

pyschosubmission

Posts: 1109
Joined: 7/6/2012
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline

quote:

Harlan Ellison responds to all his fan mail. Piers Anthony does, too. Orson Scott Card employs someone to help him in the effort. I remember my little brother getting a signed photo from Barbara Feldon when we were kids

Bit of an unfair comparison, they have an invested interest in maintaining their fan base. Much easier to make money that way.

Also can I just add the tone of

"the person whose sole accomplishments are being subby and owning a twat is someone less obliged to respond to admirers?"

is painfully misogynistic, not to mention when you follow it up with

"even when they are negligently rude after having invited the attention"

I might be wrong but reading between the lines it actually sounds as if you do not like women. Just the impression I get.

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(in reply to descrite)

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 2:08:28 AM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

*loves PS, as is known, and adds love for Oneechan for speaking truth*

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RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 2:10:57 AM

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Joined: 8/30/2012
Status: offline

the last mail that i ignored was from a gentleman that stated that he wanted me to take a series of pictures for me. If i was to comply i should send him a response that said "yes, Sir" and if i chose not to my response was to be "no, Sir". After i stopped laughing, i deleted unread (because i had just hovered over the message in my inbox). I did that because he was trying to force me into a dynamic right in the first message. I dont need someone that tries to pressures someone that much. It is also the reason i dont go to used car lots.

(in reply to pyschosubmission)

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 2:32:22 AM

Posts: 14
Joined: 10/3/2012
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I had eight pages of messages the first day I joined this site. Then quickly learned to adjust my mail controls, disable chat, and master the hover-read. And I still get multiple pages of messages a day.

Answering them all would be a draining waste of time. Not to mention that being a slave to my inbox isn't exactly the relationship I came here to find...

(in reply to autumnember)

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 3:59:43 AM

BoundSlave4Life

Posts: 116
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: autumnember

the last mail that i ignored was from a gentleman that stated that he wanted me to take a series of pictures for me. If i was to comply i should send him a response that said "yes, Sir" and if i chose not to my response was to be "no, Sir". After i stopped laughing, i deleted unread (because i had just hovered over the message in my inbox). I did that because he was trying to force me into a dynamic right in the first message. I dont need someone that tries to pressures someone that much. It is also the reason i dont go to used car lots.

It's sad, but I know EXACTLY who you are talking about.

(in reply to autumnember)

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 4:07:45 AM

BoundSlave4Life

Posts: 116
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Oneechan

quote:

Another solution: include this on your profile-- "Sorry...I'm overwhelmed by messages at the moment, and I'm looking for something specific. If you're not [in the area/over 6'0"/hung like a musk ox], please don't send me a message right now." Then feel free to ignore the ones that don't meet the criteria and response anyway. At least then they'll have an idea why you ignored them. Fair?

Another solution isn't needed. Someone can feel free to ignore messages without writing anything of the sort, and it's still perfectly fair. Someone's time and attention are their own, and you're just as free to not send messages, as someone is to not read them or not respond. if you voluntarily enter into communication by email you can't necessarily expect that the other will do likewise

Another thing to add on to this --- When I get messages, a lot of them consist of "How long have you been in the lifestyle?" "Have you been owned before?" "What's your experience?" "What are your limits?" "What's your name?" "What are you looking for?" ect... ALL of them are answered on my profile.
My reason for this statement? Because about %80 of the messages I get are from people that don't even READ my profile. I'm sure that most... if not ALL of them would get upset if I deleted their message "unread".
Saying "I'm not going to be able to respond to everyone" on my profile is a moot point for those idiots because they don't even READ said profile.

< Message edited by BoundSlave4Life -- 10/10/2012 4:08:50 AM >

(in reply to Oneechan)

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 4:35:31 AM

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

Harlan Ellison responds to all his fan mail. Piers Anthony does, too.

Do you really believe that? Because I don't. They hire people to do that, and I'm sure those people have an assistant to weed out what is actually fan mail. And I am assuming you are talking actual mail, not the internet.

The idea of a celebrity answering all the wankers on an internet forum is too hilarious to contemplate. They'd be bored by mid-morning, *anyone* with half a brain would be.

As for the OP's topic:

I do not answer 99% of my cmail. Why? Because I choose not to.

The bulk of the mail I get here is comprised of ungrammatical one-liners focusing on wank fodder of a kinky nature sent by those with nicks I perceive as major red flags (i.e. piggieboi, and he's obviously male). If they have a profile, they routinely display their cock or their ass or both.

Why on Mrs Jesus's green earth would I respond to that?

As I have stated on this board more than once, I am *not* a masochist.

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RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 4:36:16 AM

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Joined: 9/6/2012
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There is a bulk mail feature. I do not know if an auto reply goes out when you land there BUT, in my case, I clearly stated in my profile I was only interested in men who lived within a 15-30 minute drive of me because I wanted a real time, at least weekly.i clearly state Dom male between the ages of 38-49 (no switches) who are clean cut Caucasian (no tattoos or piercings) experienced in this lifestyle. My profile also specifically says I will not accept being beaten or used for whips, canes or humiliated. Guess how many emails I get from men who live in CA (I am in MD) or are "a young 55", who include photos of themselves with clearly visible tattoos? I also read THEIR profiles to see if they list that they "live for or like" caning, whipping...because clearly we aren't interested in the same things and, had they READ my profile as opposed to just emailing every female sub in the same state as they live... Now, I am a VERY polite woman (I sent a thank you email in response to someone who just wanted to let me know I was a fat, lazy whore before blocking him) but, if you were applying for a job and clearly ignored what the employer stated as minimum qualifications or experience, should you feel slighted because they do not respond to TELL you what you already know that you are not what they are seeking? Just because YOU believe that because you "travel to my state often" or that you like older women but are 25 or you are a black man who only is interested in white women...I respect their desire to try; however, respect that I know what I want. I also used to answer even those men who weren't a match because they were only "offering friendship, advice.." Or who stated they knew I wouldn't be interested in them....but noticed we both loved football or politics.. And wanted to know if I saw this game, or what I thought of the debates.. Then after 3 weeks of friendly email exchanges with no sexual overtures suddenly wanted to know "when we were going to meet"...

I don't mean to rant but I am also telling you that 1) you may be respectful & polite but so many before you have ruined it for the good guys and 2) you must respect my wants and desires as a person as well. Just because YOU like ME does not mean that I must relinquish or rethink what I want. If I spent my time creating this profile so not to GET emails from men I am not interested in, why does your ignoring it make you polite just because your email is friendly? I get friendly offers by mail from companies selling condos in "active 55 and older communities" (I am 43 and have 2 small kids) I don't respond to let them know that they should have bought a mailing list of people over 60.

Flat out, (& I don't know so you could be only emailing women who you meet 100% of what they state they want or only emailing women who do NOT state clearly what they want), it is NOT respectful or polite to demand someone who has set their boundaries to explain why or to put her in the position of having to constantly re-iterate them. Your ignoring the content of her profile IS rude no matter how nice the words you use to tell her she is missing the best thing in the world.

OK, someone give me a hand down from my soapbox because I am wearing high heels...

(in reply to descrite)

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 4:44:56 AM

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

You're not owed a reply to an unsolicited email. No one is.

The fact that it makes you so mad would be a huge red flag to me.

Hey, stef, check out his profile if you want another red flag.

_____________________________

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 5:06:02 AM

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Joined: 4/23/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

You're not owed a reply to an unsolicited email. No one is.

The fact that it makes you so mad would be a huge red flag to me.

Hey, stef, check out his profile if you want another red flag.

I read his profile and no matter how nice an email he might send it doesn't change the fact that he is one scary dude.

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RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 5:07:25 AM

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Joined: 11/23/2011
Status: offline

It happenss to everyone. Hell, I started a thread yesterday to try and figure out about how many skipped messages is average.

Don't be angry that you're mails are going unread, instead, if you ABSOLUTELY INSIST on getting angry about something, get angry at all the lowlife felchmonkeys that are stuffing these lovely ladies inboxes with mindless trite and pushing your incredibly sweet and loving messages to the background.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 5:10:26 AM

Posts: 166
Joined: 3/14/2012
Status: offline

The very first weekend I joined CM, I got 300 messages. In the few months I've had this version of my profile, I estimate a total of about 1000. In my experience, the people who claim to answer all messages get very few.

It's the internet equivalent of junk mail. If I get a flyer through for a pizza company, I don't call them up and tell them I'm allergic to cheese and prefer curry anyway. If I get a message and I'm not interested I don't reply.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 5:37:54 AM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sandelwoodrose
Not to mention that being a slave to my inbox isn't exactly the relationship I came here to find...

ABSOLUTELY a quote to keep!! Welcome, sandel!! :)

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 5:42:44 AM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wnyThroatLover

It happenss to everyone. Hell, I started a thread yesterday to try and figure out about how many skipped messages is average.

Don't be angry that you're mails are going unread, instead, if you ABSOLUTELY INSIST on getting angry about something, get angry at all the lowlife felchmonkeys that are stuffing these lovely ladies inboxes with mindless trite and pushing your incredibly sweet and loving messages to the background.

poiints given for using felch, but demerits for attaching that to monkeys (see the tag under my ID...LOL)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to wnyThroatLover)

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 5:50:23 AM

Posts: 214
Joined: 11/23/2011
Status: offline

The only responses I've gottenin the last 3 months were from lovely barbie sandelwoodrose, DNAHelicase, SylvereApLeanan, and Autumnember...none of whom I was trying to "pick up"

...here's a tissue, whipe your nose and get back on the playground...

Greedy, should they maybe be felch-armadillos instead? Or maybe felch-hippopotamus?

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 5:55:00 AM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

I like felch-hippopotamai, myself :) LOL

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to wnyThroatLover)

RE: Why do people ignore mails - 10/10/2012 5:56:59 AM

Posts: 214
Joined: 11/23/2011
Status: offline

How about douchepickles!

(in reply to GreedyTop)

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