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RE: Age and experience... - 11/10/2012 8:06:35 AM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wulfelaw

Does being older mean you have more experience, or that you are a better Dom/me or Master/Mistress?

No, it means you've had more time in which to acquire experiences. Some people use their time more effectively than others, and opportunities vary significantly, but all other things being equal, age is a good thing in terms of experience.

IWYW,
— Aswad.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to wulfelaw)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 6:06:08 AM

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I prefer older simply to contrast my youth.
When I am older I expect I will pursue being owned by a younger dom.

(in reply to lizi)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 12:47:35 PM

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From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
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I cant answer for anyone else, but I can say that for myself...I am a better dominant female at 39 than I was at 25. Without question! At 25, I was cocky and a know-it-all. Being humble and having humility? Nope, not in my vocabulary. At that age, I was 10 feet tall and bulletproof. I was in what I consider the rise of my life's trajectory. But by about age 29 or 30, you start staring down the barrel of life's shotgun and you realize that you arent as know-it-all as you thought you were. With maturity comes the realization that there is always something to learn. I too thought back then that I knew what being a True Domme and a True Mistress was. You want to know what, it only took maturing as I have over the years to realize I didnt know SHIT back then. I was saying the words, but had no clue of the meaning. My 39 year old self could out-domme my 25 year old self any day of the week.

At 39, Im the first to admit that I dont know everything there is to know about this and Ive legitimately been doing this longer than you have. I am always wanting to attend seminars and workshops. I am not too proud to realize that there is always someone with more experience to learn from. I also dont need to puff up my chest, point at myself, and say Ive been at this for 15+ years. Its up to me what I put into those 15 years. Any ass can say "Ive been doing this for X years." But its what you bothered to learn in those X years that matters, not just that you have been saying it.

(in reply to wulfelaw)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 1:10:02 PM

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I didn't read all the other answers, but here is my opinion as a slave...
Lots of people say my Master can not be a "real" Master because he is only 23. He started experimenting and researching/studying the lifestyle when he was about 15. He graduated high school and joined the Army when he was 17 and became a college graduate and husband at 21 and will have completed his Master's degree before he is 24. I would say that he has a lot more general life experience than a lot of people his age. He also acts a lot older than his age. He was having a conversation the other day and he asked someone if they remembered something from years ago and they said "No dude I'm not as old as you I'm only 24" to which Master laughed and had to tell this person that he was, in fact, younger than him. Age is merely a number.
Of course, people who have been in the lifestyle for longer than we have been alive obviously have more experience than us. But, he is not cocky, he does not think he knows everything, and he is constantly striving to learn more. But, we have lived this 24/7 for over three years, plus the several years of off and on experience he had before me. But, his age does not mean he can't be or isn't a Master. We are in this for the long haul. We know there will be tough times, we know that life is hard and we have much to face and experience, but those things will make us stronger and we will continue to grow, him as a person and a Master and me as his perfect slave, molded into what HE wants and needs me to be. We have met lots of people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s who knew less than we did about the lifestyle and less than us about certain kinks we enjoy. He has taught people twice his age about knife play. But, we do not act to know everything, we know we don't. We love to learn, but again, age is just a number. There are a LOT of people more experienced than us that are older than us, but there are also people older than us that are not as experienced as we are.
(Also, this profile was made in the attempt to find someone to act out a fantasy with us, our Fetlife accounts are much deeper, as I am sure people who look at the profile on here think I think this is only about sex, I assure you that is not what we think. In fact, sex is a small part of our M/s relationship. He completely owns me, cares for me in every way, much the way one would care for a pet, as that is what I am, his pet, his property)

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 1:23:21 PM

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Most kids cant imagine being wiser, very few older people look back wistfully at the wisdom they once had.

Youth is great for making the impossible possible, for doing things that "cant be done" however most impossible things are in fact...impossible, lol!

The reality is a 23 year old master can rock the world of an 19 year old but is likely to make 30 year old woman giggle.

And for some, like myself, young submissives make me giggle but when a woman struts into a room and owns it, game on!

(in reply to soldierlvr)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 1:31:33 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

quote:

Knowing yourself is also pretty damn important. You know, to be a "master" -- master yourself first. This is impossible at your age, since you don't know who you are yet. (I know you think you do, but that's it, you just think you do. You need another 10-20 years to work that out.)

I think that saying that is putting everyone into a box. My Master has been through more at his age than most people twice his age. I am 25 myself and have probably been through more than you have. Some people don't have the luxury of waiting until they are 18 to become an "adult". Some of us are forced into that much younger. And, if you are forced to be an adult at a younger age, you obviously "grow up" faster than those that live with Mommy and Daddy until they are 23 and graduated college and have never had to provide for themselves, much less someone else. No two people have the same life. Just because you didn't know yourself at 25 does not mean someone else can't. My Master HAS Mastered himself. He has also Mastered me just fine. I have read a lot of your responses and I usually agree with you completely, but putting everyone into the same box because of age is not right.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 1:34:52 PM

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I am not 19. I am older than he is. And I assure you, I do not make men giggle when I enter the room at kink functions. You do not know him, you do not know us so to say that he can't be a Master or I can't be a slave because of age is ludicrous. But I am not going to argue with you. I know what we have, I know that in our local community we are not laughed at, we are respected. We have had people in their 50s commend us on our relationship and our maturity levels. But, again, I am not going to defend my relationship to someone that is so close-minded that they honestly think age is all that matters.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 2:12:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: soldierlvr

I am not 19. I am older than he is. And I assure you, I do not make men giggle when I enter the room at kink functions. You do not know him, you do not know us so to say that he can't be a Master or I can't be a slave because of age is ludicrous. But I am not going to argue with you. I know what we have, I know that in our local community we are not laughed at, we are respected. We have had people in their 50s commend us on our relationship and our maturity levels. But, again, I am not going to defend my relationship to someone that is so close-minded that they honestly think age is all that matters.

Good thing you have the maturity not to get defensive as well as to see what I wrote said age is all that matters. That said, plenty of 50 yeat olds will tell a young woman,anything,she wabts to,hear.

(in reply to soldierlvr)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 3:34:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Most kids cant imagine being wiser, very few older people look back wistfully at the wisdom they once had.

Youth is great for making the impossible possible, for doing things that "cant be done" however most impossible things are in fact...impossible, lol!

The reality is a 23 year old master can rock the world of an 19 year old but is likely to make 30 year old woman giggle.

And for some, like myself, young submissives make me giggle but when a woman struts into a room and owns it, game on!

quote:

The reality is a 23 year old master can rock the world of an 19 year old but is likely to make 30 year old woman giggle.

Apparently you do feel that a 23 year old can only "rock the world" of a 19 year old. His sub before me was 33 years old. He broke it off with her because he found out she had not left her husband like she told him she had. He was at college and could only see her on the weekends and found out that during the week she was with her "ex" husband, so obviously he was "rocking the world" of a 30-something year old, too, as she was lying to both him and the husband. And no, the people in their 50s I referred to were not just telling me what I "wabted" to hear. They had no reason to lie. They weren't trying to impress me, nor I am them. And honestly, the only opinions that matter to me are what my Master thinks and what my family thinks. Age is not all that matters, and it is sad some people think it is.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 4:03:39 PM

poise

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quote:

ORIGINAL: soldierlvr
Apparently you do feel that a 23 year old can only "rock the world" of a 19 year old. His sub before me was 33 years old.
He broke it off with her because he found out she had not left her husband like she told him she had. He was at college
and could only see her on the weekends and found out that during the week she was with her "ex" husband, so obviously
he was "rocking the world" of a 30-something year old, too, as she was lying to both him and the husband.

I'm not sure how you equate banging a broad on the weekends with "mastering" them. Especially when in a
previous comment you said..

quote:

ORIGINAL: soldierlvr I am sure people who look at the profile on here think I think this is only about sex, I
assure you that is not what we think

If he had truly "mastered her", she would have had no reason to sneak off to be with her ex.

I'm overjoyed that you've found happiness with each other, regardless of your ages. I'm sure the rest of the posters
feel the same. However, your happiness isn't enough to change our opinions, and that is what this thread was asking.

_____________________________

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(in reply to soldierlvr)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 4:09:56 PM

dominlosangeles

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wulfelaw

A question for the ages... Does being older mean you have more experience, or that you are a better Dom/me or Master/Mistress?

I seem to come across that speed bump quite a bit. I'm 25, and have been involved with the Lifestyle for a little more than a decade. I started young, discovered early what I like, did my research and found like minded girls to explore ourselves with. When i first came across the term Dom, I obviously didn't know what it truly meant, and what all it entailed. Since then, however, I have grown, and I have learned what it means to be a true Dom and a True Master. n

As with any sweeping generalization, you'll find individual examples that both support and dispute it.

There are some people who are wise when young and people who are dullards into old age.

Often, though, I find people think they know everything at a young age, and as they get older they realize what they don't know, which brings wisdom. So no matter how much BDSM stuff you've done, typically there is a limit to how good a dom you can be at age 25, because of limited life experience.

You know what you know. But you don't yet know what you don't know.

(in reply to wulfelaw)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 4:34:40 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

quote:

ORIGINAL: soldierlvr
Apparently you do feel that a 23 year old can only "rock the world" of a 19 year old. His sub before me was 33 years old.
He broke it off with her because he found out she had not left her husband like she told him she had. He was at college
and could only see her on the weekends and found out that during the week she was with her "ex" husband, so obviously
he was "rocking the world" of a 30-something year old, too, as she was lying to both him and the husband.

I'm not sure how you equate banging a broad on the weekends with "mastering" them. Especially when in a
previous comment you said..

quote:

ORIGINAL: soldierlvr I am sure people who look at the profile on here think I think this is only about sex, I
assure you that is not what we think

If he had truly "mastered her", she would have had no reason to sneak off to be with her ex.

I'm overjoyed that you've found happiness with each other, regardless of your ages. I'm sure the rest of the posters
feel the same. However, your happiness isn't enough to change our opinions, and that is what this thread was asking.

I have to agree with poise on that one. While I'm right there with her that I'm glad you found each other, the above doesn't change. If all it took to Master someone was to screw some other guy's wife, we'd be up to our eyeballs in "masters" around here.

Your guy is 23, right? If he is a great master now, how fantastic is he going to be at 33? How about 43?

This isn't much different in other places where time in makes a difference. I don't know how many second lieutenants that have earned the respect that goes with the rank. Frankly, I'd deal with a First Sergeant instead any day of the week because he generally knows what he's doing.

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to poise)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 4:37:23 PM

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I think age brings experience and mostly wisdom.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 4:39:13 PM

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I stated an older woman was LIKELY to laugh at a younger dom, your reactiveness caused you to misconstrue my generalization as a personal attack. That is why you projected my words to mean ONLY, as opposed to MANY.

Also, the woman in my profile picture is a bit of a cougar and has a pretty serious lover who is very much younger than she is.

(in reply to soldierlvr)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 4:44:00 PM

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Look, he knew he was making a mistake with her. She was not a slave. She was a submissive, and he ended it as soon as he found out he was lying to her. And then found out she called herself a "domme" to lots of other people. She was a pathological liar. She stalked me for months after he and I met. She was freaking psychotic. No, he had not "mastered" her, but she still enjoyed submitting to him WHEN THEY WERE TOGETHER. I get that what she did the rest the time was messed up, and a someone who is truly submitting will not lie like that, but it is not his fault she lied to him. Also, about him "screwing another man's wife", he was under the impression they were no longer together. She even had her friends that he met lie for her. So, yeah I guess he could have followed her or did a background check, but he chose to take her word, which was not the truth. As soon as he did find out the truth, he left her, as he is not an adulterer.

I get that we don't know as much as people older than us, but we should not be judged on age alone. The bitch was obviously a poser. He will happily admit to anyone that she was a terrible mistake. He has learned a lot since her. He was 19 when he was seeing her, so yes, he did not know as much then as he does now. And, I am sure he will be a better Master at 33 and 43 than he is now, but even now he is a good Master and he is a lot better than a LOT of men on here claiming to be Masters that are nothing more than abusers. My point is that you can't say someone "isn't a Master" or "isn't a slave" because of age. I get messages daily from men in their 60s that say if I am a real slave I would do anything they tell me, get on webcam right then and show them my body and fuck myself or burn myself with cigarettes (that is an actual message I got). They are triple Master's age and have no idea what BDSM is really about. I know that we have a lot to learn, but I also know we know a lot more than a lot of people, and some of those people are older than us. My point is simply age is NOT all that matters.

< Message edited by soldierlvr -- 12/5/2012 4:54:54 PM >

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 4:48:42 PM

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And for that matter, if someone doesn't enter the lifestyle until they are 40, when they are 42 we will have more experience than they do even tho we will be 25 and 27. I am sure you all do know more than us and are more experienced, but age does not necessarily indicate experience or wisdom.

(in reply to soldierlvr)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 4:52:55 PM

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Nobody said it is the only thing. But it is one of many factors.

I will say though that since you admit you both came from bad home environments where you were not supported and allowed to mature in a more organic manner instead of having to learn to cope with certain things overnight, that you do not have the knowledge to raise children allowing them to mature on a more even keel.

17 year olds should not be forced to be on their own. They learn certain skills in order to survive safely but there's a whole raft of other things that they don't have the luxury to learn which they will need in later years in order to prevent repeating this with their own kids.

Because of your life experiences people are saying you are mature for your age, not mature in general. Obviously judging by his ex and by your defensiveness, he still has a lot of growing up to do in order to pick healthy partners. You will notice that I did not say posers or fake or real or true. What matters more is healthy vs unhealthy.

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(in reply to soldierlvr)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 5:00:41 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Nobody said it is the only thing. But it is one of many factors.

I will say though that since you admit you both came from bad home environments where you were not supported and allowed to mature in a more organic manner instead of having to learn to cope with certain things overnight, that you do not have the knowledge to raise children allowing them to mature on a more even keel.

17 year olds should not be forced to be on their own. They learn certain skills in order to survive safely but there's a whole raft of other things that they don't have the luxury to learn which they will need in later years in order to prevent repeating this with their own kids.

Because of your life experiences people are saying you are mature for your age, not mature in general. Obviously judging by his ex and by your defensiveness, he still has a lot of growing up to do in order to pick healthy partners. You will notice that I did not say posers or fake or real or true. What matters more is healthy vs unhealthy.

He left home at 17 because he graduated high school early because he skipped 9th grade. I had a perfectly fine home environment as a child, but got married young to a man that did some very bad things to me. Master and I have a very healthy relationship. We have been together over three years now. You do not need to judge if I am ready to have children or not as you do not know me. I am actually having a really hard time getting pregnant, and it is very hurtful to hear that. His childhood wasn't that bad either. But, we have been through more life experiences than most people our age. I lived in England with an ex fiance when I was 17, supporting myself on money I had saved from having a job from 15-17 at a vet clinic. We are both very educated and we have been through some bad things, but we have a healthy relationship now. By 18, I had had a better job than most people in their 30s have, making as much money as those that were in their 30s at the same job, I have lived in four different countries without my parents, marrying my ex was a horrible mistake, I lived in another state than my family when i was with him, and I did do some stupid things when I was with him, but do not assume to know me or judge whether or not we will be good parents. No one had even brought children up, so I feel you crossed a line.

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 5:10:04 PM

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I love younguns lol

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to soldierlvr)

RE: Age and experience... - 12/5/2012 5:11:41 PM

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I wish you well but I lack the skill to continue posting in a supportive way.

(in reply to soldierlvr)

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