Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

I help some help with Domming a CD


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> I help some help with Domming a CD Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/15/2012 5:54:40 PM   
LetMeDomYou2


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline 		I need some help with domming a friend of mine who recently disclosed he is a cross-dresser.
We have discussed playing, but only if I can be the Dom. I am just coming up blank with ideas for a scene.

So if you ladies could provide some ideas on how to dom my friend I would be forever grateful
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/15/2012 6:32:22 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Have your friend dress as a maid, and then demand that they remove all the
cover plates from the electrical outlets in the house, and clean out the dust?

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to LetMeDomYou2)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/15/2012 6:40:50 PM   
Charles6682


Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline 		You have a lucky friend there to have a friend such as yourself.

_____________________________

Charley aka Sub Guy

http://www.Facebook.com/SubGuy

https://Twitter.com/SubGuy6682

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/15/2012 6:54:04 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Please, whatever you do, do not bring him to a store and ask him to humiliate himself in front of the store staff. They're most likely minimum wage and have enough crap in their life without being dragged into someone else's kink.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Charles6682)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/15/2012 7:13:44 PM   
LetMeDomYou2


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline 		I would never bring her to a store. This will take place in the privacy of my home.
I already plan to have her dress as a maid and cook me dinner. But I would love more scene ideas.

I realize many of you are reading this and thinking its a scam, but I truly need ideas

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/15/2012 7:28:08 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I'm glad. So many of the CD themes seem to center on being in public and causing humiliation.

1) If you have other Domme friends, how about a dinner/lunch/brunch where she is the server. I had a friend that had an interesting theme with frozen grapes. Each woman got frozen grapes to give as a tip, that went up the "maid's" ass without being able to let them come out until his Mistress said so. It was very entertaining.

2) Pedicure...nuff said. Ask her to read up on how it's done and what is a good foot rub.

3) Ritual bath. A nice relaxing bath for you with wine, candles and bubble bath with her as your attendant. Let her wash you, read to you, make sure the bath is okay, dry you off and dress you.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LetMeDomYou2)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/15/2012 7:34:19 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Why do you want to be a dom if you can't even come up with your own ideas???


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to LetMeDomYou2)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/15/2012 8:01:32 PM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LetMeDomYou2

I need some help with domming a friend of mine who recently disclosed he is a cross-dresser.
We have discussed playing, but only if I can be the Dom. I am just coming up blank with ideas for a scene.

So if you ladies could provide some ideas on how to dom my friend I would be forever grateful

I plan to soon have Mine dress in French maid outfits with blonde ponytails and clean My mother in law's house. My mother in law is a vanilla but LOVES the idea (hell, free housecleaning and comedy to boot, who's going to refuse THAT?). Cross dressing isn't the huge taboo that it once was.
If he's straight and you REALLY want to humiliate him, arrange ahead of time with guy friends (whom you've confided in, if you have any) for him to dress up girly or "cheerleader" and serve snacks and beverages on GAMENIGHT....short-short mini skirt and pink lace thong so his buns peek out and beg to be pinched, maybe some enormous bouncy breasts (they have squishy silicon ones) and make him bounce on a mini trampoline during commercials so they bounce and his teeny skirt flies up, his pigtails flapping, etc., make him do cheers.

(in reply to LetMeDomYou2)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/15/2012 8:37:56 PM   
idogaydrugs


Posts: 12
Joined: 11/15/2012
From: Hell, Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Why do you want to be a dom if you can't even come up with your own ideas???


Not everyone is going to automatically be into every fetish and know what to do with them, unlike you, I'm guessing.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/16/2012 1:31:05 AM   
MstSebastian


Posts: 169
Joined: 3/19/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I'm glad. So many of the CD themes seem to center on being in public and causing humiliation.

1) If you have other Domme friends, how about a dinner/lunch/brunch where she is the server. I had a friend that had an interesting theme with frozen grapes. Each woman got frozen grapes to give as a tip, that went up the "maid's" ass without being able to let them come out until his Mistress said so. It was very entertaining.

I am definitely stealing this idea! I hadn't considered this one before for a sub boy, but I like it!

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

3) Ritual bath. A nice relaxing bath for you with wine, candles and bubble bath with her as your attendant. Let her wash you, read to you, make sure the bath is okay, dry you off and dress you.


You just hit on one of my favorite things. I actually had a sub boy surprise me with this very scenario once. He was very well rewarded afterward

Ahem...

Back to the OP!

I would start by asking your friend where the line is for their cross-dressing. There is a difference between "I want to still be thought of and treated like a man while wearing women's lingerie" and "treat me like a sissy maid while I giggle and 'tee-hee' my way through it like an anime schoolgirl."

Once you know his limit, you can figure out what is most appropriate.

Assuming it is the latter, then have him over for a day to be your maid/butler. Have him come over in the morning, prepare your coffee, serve it to you in bed and massage your feet while you read the paper. Have him dust your living room and mop the kitchen in a french maid's uniform. Or, if you are going for more humiliation and have a female friend who is able and willing to help, have him model a variety of lingerie and dresses for you and your female friend to critique.

Any idea we can give you will, ultimately, be based on what your friend's limits are. Start there, and use our ideas as a base for developing more.


_____________________________

The greatest gift a person can give is the gift of their willing submission. It is a gift more precious than gold and more fragile than glass. It is my responsibility to make sure that, every day, I am worthy of that gift.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/16/2012 3:22:27 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		fast reply

OP you've had some excellent advice already and I have no experience with CD so I can't give specific help.

But building on what MstSebastian said about finding your friend's limits, I think the best thing you can do to begin with is have long talks about what you both like.

See the nice thing about being the dom, is you get to pick the things you want to do. Want a formal dinner served? Go for it. Fancy watching her scrub the kitchen floor in frilly knickers? OK! You knew right away you wanted to be the dom, so you must have given this some thought. What excites you? The best scenes will include things which excite both players so that you can feed off each other's energy. If one of you is just going through the motions things will be a little flat.

It sounds like this is somewhat new to both of you. Or if not, you're both new to playing with each other. So don't take it personally if the first few times aren't as amazing as you imagine. It does take time to get into each other's groove (no pun intended). I wouldn't worry about planning anything too elaborate because the simpler, the more likely to go smoothly and you can play as many times as you want so there's no rush to blow her mind first time round. In my experience those first play sessions are so filled with excitement and anticipation that even the simplest things can be electric.

Maybe both look at a BDSM checklist and jot down the things that sound like fun to try. For the first time just pick two or three things that you both selected - say for example you both say you're interested in housework, high heels and spanking. So go for a simple scene where you order her to dust the shelves in high heels and then give her a nice spanking as a reward/funishment. Then afterwards you can both compare notes - what worked, what didn't, what was too much, what you want more of. Then you have a spring board for next time. Eventually you can build up to more elaborate scenes or ones in which you include things that don't excite her (I don't mean push limits, I just mean 'I know you don't get off on kissing my toes but I want you to do it anyway to submit to me') or things that she wants and you're not bothered about as a treat. But first time pick something simple that will get both motors revving.

Oh, and have fun.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to MstSebastian)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/16/2012 7:54:11 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: idogaydrugs


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Why do you want to be a dom if you can't even come up with your own ideas???


Not everyone is going to automatically be into every fetish and know what to do with them, unlike you, I'm guessing.
Sorry, but I'm with littlewonder. It never ceases to amaze Me how often people say that they have made a date with a sub/bottom/fetishist and then can't figure out what to do. If you don't know, why make the arrangement in the first place?

If you want to cater to the friend's fetish, then ask the friend what would be fun for him. (Last time I knew, we still referred to cross dressers as male.) It doesn't mean you have to give him exactly what he wants, but it will give you a general idea.

If you want it to be fun for yourself and would prefer a surprise, you could do anything under the sun. There's got to be some reason that you volunteered to do this other than just out of the goodness of your heart. Build on that.

Oside was great about saying don't drag other people into your kinks. If you are going to invite other people over, they deserve to know the scenario as well. That's still involving other people in your kinks. Yes, unlike the employees at the store they can get up and leave if they aren't comfortable, but a good host gives people an idea of what is going to happen at the party.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to idogaydrugs)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/16/2012 8:41:00 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstSebastian

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I'm glad. So many of the CD themes seem to center on being in public and causing humiliation.

1) If you have other Domme friends, how about a dinner/lunch/brunch where she is the server. I had a friend that had an interesting theme with frozen grapes. Each woman got frozen grapes to give as a tip, that went up the "maid's" ass without being able to let them come out until his Mistress said so. It was very entertaining.

I am definitely stealing this idea! I hadn't considered this one before for a sub boy, but I like it!


Basically, every time he fulfilled a request well or served well he got a grape up the ass. By the end of a really long 3 course lunch with 5 women, he was looking decidedly uncomfortable.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to MstSebastian)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/20/2012 5:07:21 PM   
southernfemmeboy


Posts: 12
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		I have had this done before to me and it is very delicious and humiliating. Dress Your sissy in frillies, lingerie, stockings, heels, makeup and wig and sit her behind Your front door or window. Works great if You have a screen door, anyway tie her to a chair, blindfold her and tease Your sissy reminding her that the Flower Delivery Man is coming or perhaps the landscaper. You could really make it a head game if You had a friend come over for a visit.


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/20/2012 9:09:59 PM   
dublinemma


Posts: 57
Joined: 9/10/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: idogaydrugs


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Why do you want to be a dom if you can't even come up with your own ideas???


Not everyone is going to automatically be into every fetish and know what to do with them, unlike you, I'm guessing.


I'm going to have to agree with littlewonder here as well. It's not exactly rocket science, I have no interest in cross dressing fetishes but I can think of plenty of ways to go about it if I wanted to.

The fun of a new relationship is coming up with ideas, discussing what you both like and exploring it together. Where is the fun in having a bunch of strangers tell you what they have done, and what they liked, and then following it to the letter because you didn't bother using your own imagination?

Also, the majority of the time these questions are asked the OP is just looking for a way to get off to the responses. I believe the expression is wank fodder!

(in reply to idogaydrugs)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/20/2012 10:15:02 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Is this person also masochistic, or just a CD fetishist? I mean, the world is his oyster from clothes pins to spanking and on up the chain...so to speak...if you are service topping him...

Are YOU sadistic, or just a good friend? I mean, the world is and SHOULD BE your oyster from clothes pins to spanking and on up the chain...you should enjoy it too you know...you two should talk!

Is he into bondage? Rope play anyone? Are YOU into bondage? Rope play anyone?

Okay, so clearly your friend is going to want to dress en'femme. All good, whatever you choose, or he chooses to make it special for him. Yep.

How does he desire to be treated when en'femme, how is that going to work for you? Is it about obedience or service? What does he bring to the table here, what is he willing to actually do?

And, is he sexually aroused by dressing, or not? How is that going to work out, if at all? Is he going to end up sucking someone off, or merely receive a box of tissue and 10-minutes alone at the end as a lovely parting gift?

Pick up the phone and have a good long discussion about the evening and what everyone wants to get out of it for it to be a good time for all.




_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to LetMeDomYou2)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/23/2012 4:21:23 AM   
jamielee1963


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/11/2011
Status: offline 		I think that the dom/sub dynamic has plenty of hurdles let alone adding a CD to the mix with the potential for more because of that.

Might I remind everyone - y'all started somewhere and were new to things at one point.

I think that the idea of having them wait on you is good. Help them to feel comfortable a bit to break the ice. Maybe clean your house.

Once the ice has been broken, I am sure you will be able to take it from there.

Just my thoughts.

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/25/2012 4:36:16 PM   
SthrnCom4t


Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline 		Understanding where the other person is coming from, and why you have made the offer is really the starting point. Some great advice above about sitting down and discussing what works for each. If you are new to Topping, simple is better. You might both be interested in rope, but save that for a later play session or get some lessons first.

As the Top, you've offered a 'safe space' for your friend to indulge in her fetish. Great! As a submissive, it is not all about her though, so you must get something out of the bargain too. I once had a CD friend come over, and completely re-arrange and straighten my closet. All the clothes came out, the space got vacuumed, and she put the clothes back in. I gave general concept instructions, and let her arrange on a more detailed level. At arrival and at departure we had some formal discussion, and a bit while some of the work was going on. In total it was about 5 hours of time together, and we both got a lot of out of it. For months my closet looked great and I remembered the time fondly.

Because of geographic and relationship boundaries, we haven't had a second session. I'd certainly be open to it though, because the time was a win-win.

~Sthrn

_____________________________

Sthrn
Honorably served by OttersSwim

'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

(in reply to jamielee1963)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/25/2012 4:49:09 PM   
BambiBoi


Posts: 461
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline 		Despite reading all the responses, I'm still not convinced anything should be different just because the bottom is a crossdresser. If he identifies as a woman, just treat him like a femme-sub. If he identifies as a man, treat him like a man. In a skirt.

_____________________________

<3

(in reply to SthrnCom4t)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: I help some help with Domming a CD - 11/25/2012 5:15:02 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		or yanno.....they could both sit down and discuss what they both want from this arrangement.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to BambiBoi)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> I help some help with Domming a CD Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094