Kana
Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: littleone14
quote:
ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
I have to ask littleone, how much chemistry is there between you two? B/c from your posts I don't feel much in the way of chemistry with this guy (doesn't mean it's not there, maybe my 'feelings radar' is broke this morning).
When we went out for coffee there was quite a bit of chemistry. We have alot in common and I really enjoyed talking with him on a vanilla level. Plus, both of us were attracted to each other.
I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, especially because I get how my text came off so differently than I intended. But his response to it feels a bit passive agressive, which turns me off. That's probably where the seeming lack of chemistry is coming from.
quote:
ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
I really would not continue the discussion about this over email. You need FTF, b/c then you can read body language. If this is not possible, use the phone. Tone of voice and tension in the voice can communicate a great deal.
quote:
I've emailed him about talking face to face as people, not dom/sub but haven't heard back. If I don't hear back, well, I'll just have to write this off as lesson learned.......
Dude, my bet is that this is simply one of those communication things-two people still feeling each other out, getting to know each other. These things happen all the time, in LTR and in ones that are just starting.
I tell every girl somewhere along the line, usually pretty quick that I guarantee that I will hurt you., not physically but emotionally. Not because I'm an asshole, not because I'm a dick, but because I'm human. I''ll say something or not say something, take an action that I shouldn't or not make a move when I should, and you're gonna get hurt. Maybe I'll be callous and flippant when it's inappropriate, maybe I'll hit a tripwire in your head I (and sometimes she) didn't know was there.
And she's gonna do the same to me.
That's life in a relationship, especially that awkward getting to know you part. And this is exaggerated by the depth of sharing and soul sharing in a bound relationship.
The key is to ask, Is he doing this to be cruel? Is it a deliberate attempt to hurt? Does it happen all the time because he's blind and insensitive to what going on in me?
Because otherwise, fuck, dominants aren't mind readers. We ain't psychic. We're feeling our way in the dark of a new interaction, hoping we don't stub our toes on the furniture.
We make mistakes. We fuck up.We do things wrong. Not once, not twice, but all the flipping time. But we don't do it because we're asshats (At least this one don't)but because we're human and that's the nature of the beast.
Cut us a freaking break. Don't expect the world, we can't give it to you, but we can be decent, considerate people who do the best we can and give all that we can under the circumstances.
Patton once said, "You do your very best. What more can be asked of you?"
And if that's good enough for the man who conquered Europe, it's good enough for this cat.
edited because the quote function here sucks ass
< Message edited by Kana -- 11/18/2012 5:14:42 PM >
_____________________________
"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST
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RE: A "forward" sub...... - 
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