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RE: interacial relationships - 11/22/2012 9:37:01 PM

LadyLoveLay

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLoveLay

quote:

ORIGINAL: MollyButts

i was in a relationship with a white guy in my last relationship and i liked it ,what are your feelings on interacial relationships in the bdsm world

molly

I have really only ended up with white men in my dating life and honestly I see it as normal.
In a D/s aspect I have to be VERY wary, white guys looking for "chocolate" wanting to do that racial stuff icks me out like no other.

I honestly dont understand it, but I respect people for who they are.
I just feel, people died to fight for the right to not be called a N word and you want to use it sexually. psfff !!

I have been called the wonderful N word several times in my life, both to my face and behind my back. But in all honesty, its just a word. It only has power if I gave it so (and believe me, there are far worse insults than the N word out there). If someone feels the need to include such things in their life, more power to em.

How would you take it from someone you were dating and considered in your heart if I might ask ?

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RE: interacial relationships - 11/22/2012 9:41:12 PM

LadyLoveLay

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quote:

ORIGINAL: metamorfosis

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather
I have been approached before, simply because I am black. But I have also been approached because I have a nice voice, or wear glasses. Some people have idealized visions of who they want in their head, and the lucky few actually find it. Not sure if that answers your question though

Once I had a boyfriend who had very black skin. People were always remarking on it, and a lot of white girls were particularly attracted to him because of it. That used to bother him. I think it made him feel objectified. I had a hard time understanding his feelings. I mean, it's not as if people were responding negatively to his skin color--- it was the opposite. I understand better now. I guess it's like the girl with big breasts being liked just because she has big breasts, or that people are stereotyping her because of her breasts. I still think he was overly sensitive about it, but I understand his feelings a little better now.

Not sure whether I answered the question either, but I thought I'd throw that out there.

Pam

Pam, I think he was uncomfortable because they were looking at him just his skin. Even its a positive or a negative eventually it would wear on anyone that people are interested because they want a black cock or whatever.
Im sure he was probably great guy but that wasn't even on the table because they were just so into his skin.

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Post #: 42

RE: interacial relationships - 11/22/2012 9:44:05 PM

metamorfosis

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I have the same reaction when I go to a job interview and the chef comments on the fact that I'm a female cook. It's probably an innocent comment, I mean, female cooks are rare. But I feel a little objectified.

Pam

< Message edited by metamorfosis -- 11/22/2012 9:45:13 PM >

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RE: interacial relationships - 11/22/2012 9:46:45 PM

Darkfeather

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLoveLay

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkfeather

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLoveLay

quote:

ORIGINAL: MollyButts

i was in a relationship with a white guy in my last relationship and i liked it ,what are your feelings on interacial relationships in the bdsm world

molly

I have really only ended up with white men in my dating life and honestly I see it as normal.
In a D/s aspect I have to be VERY wary, white guys looking for "chocolate" wanting to do that racial stuff icks me out like no other.

I honestly dont understand it, but I respect people for who they are.
I just feel, people died to fight for the right to not be called a N word and you want to use it sexually. psfff !!

I have been called the wonderful N word several times in my life, both to my face and behind my back. But in all honesty, its just a word. It only has power if I gave it so (and believe me, there are far worse insults than the N word out there). If someone feels the need to include such things in their life, more power to em.

How would you take it from someone you were dating and considered in your heart if I might ask ?

Never has happened, as someone who needs to use the word wouldn't be with me in the first place. But if they felt it was part of their kink, I couldn't oblige. For it to count, both would have to find the meaning in it.

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Post #: 44

RE: interacial relationships - 11/23/2012 12:54:56 AM

Nelee

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Not completely sure what OP is looking for in an answer, but I'm not a bigot when it comes to looking for a play partner, if that is what you're wondering?
My last domme was actually a white woman, so I guess I do have experiences with interracial dating (if "experience" in the area is a real thing), but it didn't really change much for us.
I do know a LOT of people who do the whole "racial power play" thing, and that is definitely not my thing. We just stuck with our roles and did the whole relationship thing.

There are a lot of posts in this thread I don't really care to commit on, so I guess I'll just post and leave it there.

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Post #: 45

RE: interacial relationships - 11/23/2012 4:06:35 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarlosDom76

Colorblindness, in reality, winds up being people of color expected to be stripped of their culture, expected to assimilate to the dominant culture.

JMHO, and that of just about every other person of color I've known in my life. I speak as a mix of two minorities.

I should have addressed this... the idea that an ethnicity comes with a culture attached to it. Ain't necessarily so.

I live in US suburbia. Always have, always will. Anyone who meets me, does so on my turf.

I have interacted with Anglos, Hispanics, Asians, blacks, Native Americans, a Kiwi, etc. All on my terms. In other words, they did not have a strong separate cultural identification by the time they met me. So I didn't strip them of their cultures - they came pre-stripped.

Interracial relationships are much easier than intercultural ones.

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Post #: 46

RE: interacial relationships - 11/23/2012 4:53:57 AM

lilcracker

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MollyButts

i was in a relationship with a white guy in my last relationship and i liked it ,what are your feelings on interacial relationships in the bdsm world

molly

Are you pondering about the historical aspect of slavery?

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Post #: 47

RE: interacial relationships - 11/23/2012 6:19:53 AM

kiwisub12

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OP - what about the white guy did you enjoy? How was it different to a black guy?
I was raised in another country with a different culture mindset, so this is interesting to me.
I've lived in America for 30 years and still don't get some of the subvocal dialogue.

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Post #: 48

RE: interacial relationships - 11/23/2012 6:42:18 AM

absolutchocolat

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echoing some of what other folks have said, interracial relationships aren't inherently different than other ones, even in bdsm. whether you date someone of a different culture or not, you still have to adapt to the kinks and desires of that person.

i'll admit, being fetishized because of my skin can be hot in certain contexts. however, the stereotypes that tend to come along with it aren't as fun. so i can relate to pam's dark-skinned friend on that one. there's a difference between "wow, your dark skin is very beautiful" versus some of the horrific slew of one-liners i get from some race-players on the other side.

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Post #: 49

RE: interacial relationships - 11/23/2012 7:04:57 AM

chatterbox24

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Well, I was brought up very prejudice. IN fact my father told me before I was even of dating age. "Ever date a black man or marry one I will disown you" Pretty ignorant, huh? But thats the way I was brought up and he did mean it. One of the arguments was, the kids pay not you as much as them. It was a different time then too.
Deep down I never agreed with this kind of thought, even though I was taught from a very early age, how different we are because of color of skin and culture, I just never felt that bigoted backwards way. It gave me a sickening feel in the pit of my stomach.
I have never dated a black man, I have only found one attractive in the past. Not sure if its upbringing or just wasn't in the cards for me.

But as far as others, what they like, I feel if it makes them happy, thats great. Its not even a consideration of being prejudice.

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RE: interacial relationships - 11/23/2012 11:51:34 AM

Nelee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarlosDom76

Colorblindness, in reality, winds up being people of color expected to be stripped of their culture, expected to assimilate to the dominant culture.

JMHO, and that of just about every other person of color I've known in my life. I speak as a mix of two minorities.

I should have addressed this... the idea that an ethnicity comes with a culture attached to it. Ain't necessarily so.

I live in US suburbia. Always have, always will. Anyone who meets me, does so on my turf.

I have interacted with Anglos, Hispanics, Asians, blacks, Native Americans, a Kiwi, etc. All on my terms. In other words, they did not have a strong separate cultural identification by the time they met me. So I didn't strip them of their cultures - they came pre-stripped.

Interracial relationships are much easier than intercultural ones.

Culture isn't just where you live our how you were raised. It goes as far to how you've been treated in society, a society that has (inherently) stripped you of your heritage and culture by force.

By believing in that "color blind" nonsense, you're just affirming something that has been shoved down our throats since we were children: That our culture isn't the default because of the dominance of another.

Don't take it to feel personally attacked. Just acknowledge it and stop thinking so single-mindedly about the cultures of people of color.

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RE: interacial relationships - 11/23/2012 11:58:44 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarlosDom76
Don't minunderstand. If they are saying it doesnt matter to THEM, cool. Good people. But to pretend it doesn't matter is blind. And no, colorblind is not good. Blindness never is.

That is exactly what I mean when I refer to myself as "color blind". On an interpersonal level people are people to me... men, women, blacks, whites, whatever. On a social level I'm well aware of the issues at least within my own country (the US I mean) and I am far, far from "color blind".

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RE: interacial relationships - 11/23/2012 12:07:25 PM

mnottertail

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Ja, but Jeff, it says you have a Black Cock anyway at the end of your name, so you are ambidextrous anyway, ain't you?

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Post #: 53

RE: interacial relationships - 11/23/2012 6:16:02 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MollyButts

i was in a relationship with a white guy in my last relationship and i liked it ,what are your feelings on interacial relationships in the bdsm world

molly

Sorry Molly, I'm not into white guys or for that matter, black guys.

So long as I pee standing up....I'm going for Pamela.

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RE: interacial relationships - 11/23/2012 8:25:13 PM

BamaD

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLoveLay

quote:

ORIGINAL: BamaD

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLoveLay

quote:

ORIGINAL: MollyButts

i was in a relationship with a white guy in my last relationship and i liked it ,what are your feelings on interacial relationships in the bdsm world

molly

I have really only ended up with white men in my dating life and honestly I see it as normal.
In a D/s aspect I have to be VERY wary, white guys looking for "chocolate" wanting to do that racial stuff icks me out like no other.

I honestly dont understand it, but I respect people for who they are.
I just feel, people died to fight for the right to not be called a N word and you want to use it sexually. psfff !!

And by the same token I have a hard time understanding the black subs who claim to be looking for race play

LOL Yes , I understand wanted to be degraded, but the race play kind of upsets me.

I remember this great guy I was dating, Dom, good looking, keep a clean figure, and whilegiving a bj he had the NERVE to call me a dirty N*****. I almost bite his cock off !

As well it should. I'd feel ackward about using that word if she asked me too( I think the request would lead to a long conversation about her self image) and would never even think about it otherwise. I take it that ended the relationship.

< Message edited by BamaD -- 11/23/2012 8:26:00 PM >

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RE: interacial relationships - 11/23/2012 8:29:16 PM

BamaD

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The last time I was dating a black woman things went well till she got dirty looks at a resterunt from an older black couple, from there on it was down hill.

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RE: interacial relationships - 11/23/2012 8:36:41 PM

eansdal

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You know Molly it seems usually the opposite I see a lot of black men with white women but rarely the other way around. I am curious why. Are you more attracted to white men? How is this a bdsm conversation isn't this more of a race conversation?

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RE: interacial relationships - 11/24/2012 7:31:01 AM

sunshinemiss

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Sunny
Quote of the Day
goes to
DarkSteven
for
they came pre-stripped

http://www.collarchat.com/m_4306269/mpage_3/tm.htm

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RE: interacial relationships - 11/24/2012 5:29:14 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

Interracial works for me as far as finding a partner, doesn't work for me as a BDSM focus. I don't care what race my partner is if I like the man, and I find race somewhat unsavory, to base any play on. That's just me, I've never been into humiliation or whatever, although lots of people seem to enjoy it.

Ditto.

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RE: interacial relationships - 11/26/2012 11:36:50 PM

heartcream

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I like the comments to people saying they are 'colorblind'. Yes we all live on this planet and it would be best if we do so peaceably and live and let live. We are different tribes on the same planet. We are pentacled radioza but we are not 'all the same'. We all deserve to have our heart's desire and to live the life we wish to live but we are not all the same and people who say we are come across as barely conscious to me.

I dated black guys for a decade because I was sick of white guys and I am not into chicks. For the most part it was not the 'same' at all. Lying beside a black man is really cool to see all the differences we shared. There were definitely things that were different in our cultures, like food and language for example. Being in public was a drag sometimes because some people didnt like us together for whatever reason. "Color' was not a constant issue by any means but when it was it was pronounced in different ways, at different times, in different situations. Some things were the same as dating a white guy, like basic men stuff (lying etc).

I did go back by the way.

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