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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I hear other parents talk about how joyful it is to raise a child and the first thing I always think is they are either trying to lie to themselves or they are outta their freakin mind! [:D]

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ORIGINAL: IgorsHand

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I hear other parents talk about how joyful it is to raise a child and the first thing I always think is they are either trying to lie to themselves or they are outta their freakin mind! [:D]

I'm sad that my daughter has grown up and is making it in the world herself, I loved having her around. Well I'm not sad she is well adjusted and proving rather successful on her own but I miss her terribly. Right from her first year I used to take her everywhere, parties, work, concerts, art galleries, you name it, she was with me, she was like a pet, always holding on my trouser leg and running at the side of me. But the nice thing is when she comes to vist and something reminds her of our adventures, some smell or some music or other and she says remember the good time we had at such and such a place, where she'd be sat on my shoulders, her little hands gripping my hair or some such thing. I wish I could press a replay button.

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So bury fear, for fate draws near
And hide the signs of pain
With noble acts, the bravest souls
Endure the heart's remains
Discard regret, that in this debt
A better world is made
That children of a newer day might remember
And avoid our fate

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVNjx4k8mWk

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Yeah, this is another reason why I don't call myself a masochist. I didn't enjoy raising a child whatsoever and the "pain" of raising her was not good in any way whatsoever for me and another reason why I only had one.

And it definitely wasn't altruistic. I got no joy from it. I'm so glad she's an adult now and I don't have to be really raising her yet. Yeah, I'm still her mom and always will be but you have no idea how happy I am that she's an adult and on her own at her own place away from me.

I hear other parents talk about how joyful it is to raise a child and the first thing I always think is they are either trying to lie to themselves or they are outta their freakin mind! [:D]

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ORIGINAL: FelineFae

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ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Wow, reading some of these responses is chilling. I have to wonder why someone would have a child, let alone several, if they really hated the idea that much. It's really sad because it HAD to have shown through to the child/ren that it was such a misery to raise them.

I have never wanted to be a parent and so I never became one. That is only fair. What right do I have to bring another human being into this world that even I don't want to be here?

luci

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Luci, it's not that I don't love my kids. Not that I don't enjoy them.......much of the time. I have to admit that, right now, the last few weeks, I could cheerfully sent my 33 yo son on a one way trip to Mars. My daughter, we do have our struggles.

I was 16 and 18 when my kids were created. I didn't really have the opportunity to consider whether or not I wanted to be a mother. I just was. I went from being a freshman in high school to pregnant and married. I did not have a choice. It happened. And to be honest, it wasn't that big of a stretch, I had been raising my 5 younger siblings for years already. It was just two more. Much of the time I had a house full of kids. I drove either a huge boat of a Chevy Impala station wagon or a Ford Econoline van.....because that is what I could fit the whole crew into. After my daughter was born I had a tubal ligation. I was 18 and the doctor did not want to do it. I had to sign a stack of forms, promising to never sue.

No, being a mother was not easy and much of the time it was not fun. But I guaranfuckintee that, not only my two kids, but also my 5 siblings, know they are loved and wanted. We have our moments, like most families, but we are family. We love one another. Of that there is no doubt.

I simply didn't have a burning need to be a mother. Being pregnant was misery. I was young and unprepared for motherhood when it was dumped upon me. I didn't get the opportunity to go to college or decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. It was decided for me when I got pregnant one night, the summer of 1978. I've simply played the cards I got. My kids seem to be quite happy with the way the game has gone. My daughter especially. She and I are very close.

As for my kids potentially being somehow scarred because being a mother was, at times, pure hell..........somehow I doubt it. The very idea makes me chuckle. Most kids are selfish in that, they are not focused on what their parents are struggling with. They are focused on whatever is important to them. If their friend is mad at them, if that cute boy likes them, if they can have the expensive Air Jordan sneakers they really want, etc etc etc....... I am pretty sure neither of my kids have any issues of the sort you seem so determined to be in horror of.