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RE: Two Switches - 2/18/2013 9:04:29 AM   
saundrakitty


Posts: 148
Joined: 9/11/2012
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For me i am actually both in my normal vanilla life too, and now that I have entered into a new relationship with a Master who is not a switch. I also found someone that can handle me in a potenchal full time relationship. I also work with other sub males or females depending on if I am a service top or they belong to Me- it just depends.

(in reply to william72banks)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Two Switches - 2/19/2013 7:49:16 AM   
itsapixie


Posts: 54
Joined: 9/11/2012
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My husband and I are both switches, and we're extremely happy. We go for a week or two one way and then flip for another week or two... Maybe take a bit of a break and be neither and then jump back in. I never understood how people just don't "get" switches. I like cheeseburgers, but that doesn't mean I'm -always- in the mood for cheeseburgers. If all you want to eat is cheeseburgers, that's fine, but don't accuse me of "not knowing what I want" just because I like to have some variety or say that I don't -really- like cheeseburgers because last week I had a corn dog...

Anyways! I think two switches together requires a mutual understanding that there might not always be a person on each side of the fence. Maybe you're both feeling submissive and aren't in the mood to take charge. It happens. Two subs (or doms) can absolutely have awesomely satisfying sex. As a switch, I also totally understand the occasional NEED to be one or the other, and as my partner is my husband, I'm happy to oblige him either way just to make him happy. It's when you get overly technical about roles and point fingers and set yourself opposed to your partner that you have a problem.

(in reply to saundrakitty)
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RE: Two Switches - 3/17/2013 8:11:15 AM   
ServiceBoy89


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This will be fun.

(in reply to william72banks)
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RE: Two Switches - 11/7/2013 4:02:40 AM   
JetOnly


Posts: 78
Joined: 11/6/2013
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Personally I can, have an hope to again have a good sub relationship
Of course like anything communication is #1 important, usually for me it works with agreeing in advance what roll you will be in - so I can start anticipating and plotting if needed :)
Personally I think Im now at the stage where I would need to be with a switch simply because I am strongly monogamous and although Im more to the sub side that little Domme is a part of me that needs to pop up now and again to totaly fufill me
All that being said in general I do feel a bit like I am a seesaw, if someone is giving off a submissive vibe then that pushes up the domme side more - and vice versa

(in reply to ServiceBoy89)
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RE: Two Switches - 11/7/2013 5:30:49 AM   
SweetAnise


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To the OP, It is important to know yourself and be comfortable with whatever you are or will become. I have always been the odd one out of the box. The outcast so to speak. The unique or eccentric person. That is completely fine with me. Being a switch in the kink/lifestyle has afforded me the honors of being myself and never being ashamed of it. It takes awhile to become comfortable in your own skin but I am always open, learning, and evolving.

(in reply to JetOnly)
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RE: Two Switches - 11/7/2013 5:02:41 PM   
HoneyBears


Posts: 337
Joined: 11/5/2013
From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetAnise

To the OP, It is important to know yourself and be comfortable with whatever you are or will become. I have always been the odd one out of the box. The outcast so to speak. The unique or eccentric person. That is completely fine with me. Being a switch in the kink/lifestyle has afforded me the honors of being myself and never being ashamed of it. It takes awhile to become comfortable in your own skin but I am always open, learning, and evolving.


Well said, and it helps to educate others to think outside the box.
Those who are heavily involved in their BDSM lifestyle seem to be less tolerant of switches, we have found.
They assume switches are confused. They assume because I am dominant, my boy must always be sub or slave to me.
What I found was that the qualities I wanted from a sub fell short with so many male subs.
The ones that excelled at serving could not perform in bed beyond oral worship.
The ones who could perform were terrible at compliance, were not of a subbly disposition, not very trainable beyond focusing on getting their own fetishes and kinks gratified in the name of serving a "goddess."
Then there are those who no longer want to think for themselves and mistake this for slavish devotion.
By pure luck, or fate or destiny, I found a sub whose previous mistress had trained him into becoming a switch, or more of a service top for her.
I do not need him to top me, but it did get him out of the male sub mentality he had felt conflicted with in terms of his own masculinity.
We both like variety (in food, our tastes, disliking routine), and we find it in one another, with no desire to look elsewhere.
I always tell him he never ceases to amaze me. He tells me I never cease to inspire him. I hope that never changes.

_____________________________

"The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart."-- J.G. Holland

(in reply to SweetAnise)
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RE: Two Switches - 11/9/2013 6:40:14 PM   
SweetAnise


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Thanks HoneyBears.

(in reply to HoneyBears)
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RE: Two Switches - 11/20/2013 10:57:40 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Two switches; both alike in dignity, in fair Verona, where we lay our scene............

Two switches diverged in a yellow wood; and I?  I took the one less beaten by......


(Its kinda a fuckin OCD; sorry, kids)  

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to SweetAnise)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Two Switches - 11/21/2013 3:37:29 AM   
SweetAnise


Posts: 480
Joined: 8/23/2013
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Kinda fucken OCD? For whom? You can't be speaking about every person in the world who says they are switch that would just be plain hmmm.....dumb. *shrugs*

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Two Switches - 11/21/2013 4:46:24 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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No, my tendency to to connect dissimilar concepts.


Switches?  *SHRUGS*  I so don't give a fuck, it is in the void.


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to SweetAnise)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Two Switches - 11/22/2013 4:55:42 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi


I've been arbitrarily awarding myself points for puns, quips, and vocabulary words that would make my 5th grade teachers cream. I'm not sure what to spend them on yet, but I have my eyes on those little plastic army men with the parachutes attached.



Just be careful you don't kop a -10 for "trying too hard", eh?


_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to BambiBoi)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Two Switches - 5/20/2014 7:25:28 PM   
OTKRomance


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/12/2014
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I believe I am a switch. I would love to be in a relationship with another switch, in my fantasies I would simply"sense the tone" of my man. If he's in a Dominant space, I should be able to read that easily. I think you go with that until you get from him that he's feeling like letting you do the heavy lifting for awhile. Switches make the best lovers because the know the weaknesses of the other side, they know the shortcuts to headspace...it should flow seamlessly, so sexy and hands on....switches rock!

(in reply to william72banks)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Two Switches - 6/15/2014 6:23:22 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline
My partner at the moment is also a switch, and he likes to top about as much as I like to bottom. He's also been pushing me to top him more lately, which is something I've wanted to do but have been too intimidated. So it's a good experience for growth.

It works for us because we're on the same wavelength. If I were with another switch who was more like me, the experience wouldn't be as great.

(in reply to mystikmoonshine)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Two Switches - 6/16/2014 9:48:13 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OTKRomance

I believe I am a switch. I would love to be in a relationship with another switch, in my fantasies I would simply"sense the tone" of my man. If he's in a Dominant space, I should be able to read that easily. I think you go with that until you get from him that he's feeling like letting you do the heavy lifting for awhile. Switches make the best lovers because the know the weaknesses of the other side, they know the shortcuts to headspace...it should flow seamlessly, so sexy and hands on....switches rock!

Out of curiosity, OTKR, would you say that you are an even split thereabouts (50/50) and hope that your partner is also? Would that make for a more seamless transition back and forth? Is it harder to find a compatible partner when there is a larger split ratio, such as 70/30 or 30/70?

I've heard that some switch couples take weekly turns, but that others simply switch scenes impromptu or on a more spontaneous basis.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to OTKRomance)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Two Switches - 6/17/2014 7:44:32 AM   
thompsonx


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Joined: 10/1/2006
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I've heard that some switch couples take weekly turns, but that others simply switch scenes impromptu or on a more spontaneous basis.

They could always flip a coin.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Two Switches - 6/17/2014 7:58:42 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx

They could always flip a coin.

There's already a thread on that: "Do you have any experience switching at the flip of a coin? Advice requested." http://www.collarchat.com/m_4405808/tm.htm

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to thompsonx)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Two Switches - 6/17/2014 9:19:49 AM   
Moderator3


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If you wish to comment on a thread older than a year old that hasn't been posted on for many months, please start a new thread. You can always link back to the one that interested you.

Thank you

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 37
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