RE: Going too fast? (Full Version)

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apoeticsong -> RE: Going too fast? (6/18/2006 8:46:36 AM)

many good advice here to be heeded, doesn't sound like you know this gent very well at all.
I am more concern over the fact of basic personality traits are secondary to BDSM in this case.
Why is this guy not listening to you ?   That concerns me and can be problematic in your future.
Thus if you proceed with this one, I would hope that you set up safe guards, be it safe calls or a contact to stick by
and hope to goodness he respects safe words and your well being.
simply, song



KSControl -> RE: Going too fast? (6/19/2006 12:24:36 AM)

The fact that it *feels* wrong, means it *IS* wrong.  Go with your instincts.  And, by all means, do NOT play on the first date... EVER... 



tbear4759 -> RE: Going too fast? (7/4/2006 11:45:00 AM)

sounds like this guy is a kook.  If I were you (or any other woman) I would  not go to his place to start "training" right after the first meeting, especially if therre are plans for you to be bound, etc.  looks like the potential for rape is too great.  but, you have to decide for yourself.  all we can do is advise you and hope you make the right decision.  be well.



kyraofMists -> RE: Going too fast? (7/4/2006 12:16:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tbear4759

sounds like this guy is a kook.  If I were you (or any other woman) I would  not go to his place to start "training" right after the first meeting, especially if therre are plans for you to be bound, etc.  looks like the potential for rape is too great.  but, you have to decide for yourself.  all we can do is advise you and hope you make the right decision.  be well.


I am confused.... aren't you the same person who just posted this in a thread:

quote:

we will be meeting next sunday. we have to determine the time and location still. any advice on what I should expect, and/or do or not do?  I'm anticipating sex and bondage during this meeting because of what she said. 


http://www.collarchat.com/m_460751/tm.htm

Does this mean that you are a "kook" too since you are expecting sex and bondage on a first meeting or have I read something wrong?

Knight's kyra



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Going too fast? (7/4/2006 12:56:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GirlyDevil

He immediantly thinks that we are perfect for each other, but we don't even know each other. He's already talking about collaring me and making me his 24/7. I have told him that I'm not ready yet to make that commitment and it seems like he doesn't get it.


Behaviour like that smacks of immaturity, desperation, or predatory intentions. An intelligent, well grounded, person does not decide overnight that they want to own you.

Infactuation is normal, and can lead to a solid relationship in time, but it's not the real thing. A well-balanced dom has enough understanding of human nature, and control of himself, to know that.

Be nice, be gracious, but be careful. Personally, I find behaviour like that unnattractive, and it usually ends the association.



RavenMuse -> RE: Going too fast? (7/4/2006 1:27:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
Does this mean that you are a "kook" too since you are expecting sex and bondage on a first meeting or have I read something wrong?


[:D][:D] Nice catch Kyra and very justified challenge to an apparent double standard. It will be interesting to see if the gent in question has an answer to it [:)]



sublizzie -> RE: Going too fast? (7/4/2006 1:28:42 PM)

fast reply..... Has anyone noticed that this thread started June 17 so it's a couple of weeks old? I wonder what the poster decided.



MistressOfGa -> RE: Going too fast? (7/5/2006 12:34:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GirlyDevil

For all of you masters out there, what would you suggest? I'm going to be meeting my master for the first time this week and am very nervous. He immediantly thinks that we are perfect for each other, but we don't even know each other. He's already talking about collaring me and making me his 24/7. I have told him that I'm not ready yet to make that commitment and it seems like he doesn't get it. We have made an agreement for 2 wks., but he thinks that I will be collared at the end. Any suggestions as what I could do or say?
Sub Girl looking for help

GirlyDevil,
Your profile says you are dominant looking for m/f subs.  Yet here you are asking us advice on your meeting with your Master.
Things that make me go hmmmm....



SirDarkside357 -> RE: Going too fast? (7/7/2006 7:10:28 PM)

What Raven said.

Darkside



wandering4u -> RE: Going too fast? (7/8/2006 4:06:23 AM)

Can we all say "RUN!".  Going way too fast and ignoring every safety rule I ever heard.
But MistressofGa has a very interesting observation... any word back from our initiator?





subedana -> RE: Going too fast? (7/8/2006 5:04:34 AM)

Just agreeing with everyone else on this thread. Don't let anyone push you into something you're not ready for or sure about. It will only end up messy in the end.
I have two hard fast rules: First meet is always a vanilla Date and both on equal footing
Second, no play whatsoever on first date. Period. And both rules are hard limits.



MasterG333 -> RE: Going too fast? (7/8/2006 5:21:24 AM)

   I have a saying    you have the say until you say I have the say. you dont have to do anything you dont want to until you give over say of yourself



shadevarr -> RE: Going too fast? (7/14/2006 3:23:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subedana

Just agreeing with everyone else on this thread. Don't let anyone push you into something you're not ready for or sure about. It will only end up messy in the end.
I have two hard fast rules: First meet is always a vanilla Date and both on equal footing
Second, no play whatsoever on first date. Period. And both rules are hard limits.

 Gods, nice to know I am not the only one with those rules.



agirl -> RE: Going too fast? (7/14/2006 3:59:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Some times things simply flow right and things do go fast, very fast. BOTH people feel the dynamic, feel the pull to act on it and feel comfortable with moving forward dispite how fast things seem to be going.

Key word 'BOTH', that is obviously not the case here and if he won't listen to the fact that you are not comfortable.... then what elese is he going to not listen to you being uncomfortable with? Red flag dearie, if you ARE still interested, talk to him, try explaining further, but if he won't listen and slow down, run!





I agree that sometimes there can be a compatability where you both are fairly certain that moving more swiftly than you may normally, is a comfortable thing to do.

I wasn't clear about the time scale from the OP, in terms of *knowing* the chap in question ......but I'd tilt my head a little at handing my life and all that that entails over to someone I hadn't yet met.

I thought the OP's profile was interesting considering the question she asked.

And..uncharacteristically(sp), some parent-type comment keep trying to spring from my lips..such as......* Don't be so silly*.

agirl





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