Mercnbeth
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quote:
When reading the Finances thread, I ran across an answer that contained the following statement:
"Master takes on the responsibility and should be prepared for the responsibility for the mental health and self esteem of his slave."
I believe I am the one quoted here.
The quote stands on it's own. Whether you realize it or not, anytime you enter into a relationship you take on this responsibility for your partner. Someone has already noted that this responsibility is reciprocal. It assuredly is!
It isn't implied that the slave now is free of all self responsibility. The statement was in the context of entering into a 24/7 live in Master / slave relationship. It was addressing the seriousness of that responsibility for each person. It covers discussion of expectation, of rules, and of behavior in the relationship; specific to a Master. He is responsible. He's responsible for being all that he said he would be when such a relationship was contemplated. The same is expected from the slave.
Emotional issues, and problems more often stem from people abandoning and shirking responsibility. A Master is definitely responsible for creating a positive atmosphere and responsible for allowing future personal and even spiritual growth. My personal belief is that includes financial as well, but I've already address that aspect. And it's a PERSONAL belief. A Master can be responsible for the slaves depression and low self esteem if he is inconsistent in his training, vacillates in his follow-up, ignores his slave, or becomes lazy. If these reasons become the cause of the slaves depression he was responsible.
For example, if in my contract with beth, it was important to her, that every Friday at 10:00 PM she knelt at my feet and read off from a written list, all her failures and rule breaking transgressions from the prior week, and I didn't do so - I would be responsible if that failure caused her to feel ignored. If I told her to write in a journal, and didn't periodically read it and comment in it - I would be responsible for her feeling of insecurity and abandonment. Conversely if these were my rules and she didn't comply, she would be responsible for her lack of commitment, and I would be responsible for inflicting corrective actions. As we agreed - as we expected. We both have responsibility to the relationship.
I have no experience with anyone who has a chemical imbalance, or other physical infirmary. But I think it ridiculous for a slave or a Master to consider a Master / slave relationship a substitute for medication. Would you stop taking insulin if your Master said you didn't need it anymore as his slave?
I find that the abandonment of responsibility is a major problem in American society. We have become a society of 'enablers'. We want a magic pill to cure all our ills. We don't want to work out or cut back on some foods to lose weight we want a pill. We don't want to go to school develop a career path to become financially independent - we want a government program. Everyone wants something, or someone else to replace self responsibility and self determination. Just look at the next generation we are raising, geared to blame everyone but themselves for their situation....
...A child isn't disruptive or a behavior problem in class - he's ADD and needs medication, it's not his, the schools, or his parents fault - ergo, NO ONE is 'responsible'.
...A child can't read, but is too old to be in this class, "no child is left behind", pass him, it's not his responsibility to read.
...The job applicant can't read the application, he was passed on in school, it's not his responsibility to learn.
....The employee can't make change because he can't add, it's not his responsibility, lets put pictures of the hamburgers we sell on the cash register keys and have the register automatically make change, it's not his responsibility to know if someone give you $2.06 for a $1.81 cent charge that you have to give back a quarter.
....A person wants to drink, take drugs, and as a result lives on the streets. He's not responsible for his actions, lets feed him, cloth him, and house him at taxpayer expense so he can use any money he begs for drugs and drink.
....A student drops out of high school because it's too boring, too easy, too hard, too crowded, too 'whatever'. The parent(s) allow it - "It's not your fault honey!" There are a LOT of jobs and careers out there for 16-17 year old high school drop outs. And you'll get a raise every time the minimum wage goes up. (see burger flipping - noted above)
In the past 25 years we've developed new 'diseases' as behavior excuses. Terms such as OCD, ADD, Bipolar, weren't even in existence. Now we have them, AND the medication to treat them. It's not a coincidence. Is CF-IDS (Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome) a real disease or another name for being lazy and wanting to stay in bed all day? Even the experts can't agree on this one.
What's the matter with being responsible? What's the matter with commitment? And what's the matter when pointing out how lack of responsibility, and failure to project the consequences of your actions, determined your own fate?
It's often asked how can a person gain trust, or how can I determine if someone is trustworthy? Easy - see how they take on their responsibilities, even the mundane and daily, like cleaning up after themselves, or picking up their towel after a shower, or putting the coffee cups in the sink or dishwasher when they are done. Trust me (lol) responsible behavior isn't selective. Usually a person is - or isn't consistently.
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Mental Health, Self Esteem and the Dom's Responsibility - 
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Lets see where do i start..Responsibilty is both. in health,and emotionally..I recently found a sweet Dom who I thought felt the same about me but come to find out He didn't feel the same and walked away saying distance was the reason. Why do people just walk away without a word or considering the others feelings.? Is that a responsibility in helping to provide a way to them or to get closer any way they can? Instead they choose to walk away scarring a heart..A Doms responsibility is meeting His needs and helping His selected one to meet them with Him..TOGETHER!! I have yet to see that much of any responsibiltity from any Dominant that seeks a soulmate.I like this article and I believe we can learn alot from MercnBeth. I love Their articles and knowledge.Thank you for sharing your experiences it has helped many of us Im sure. be ssc always serenity
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