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tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 7:28:20 PM

fullofgrace

Posts: 395
Joined: 3/24/2006
From: fl, usa
Status: offline

this is something that's been randomly nagging at me for a bit.

why is it that financial/gift tributes seem to be a phenomena that surround female dominants? i have seen very few male dominant profiles that demand or even mention tributes, and many more female ones. can someone shed some light on this for me?

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i have the kind of beauty that moves...

Post #: 1

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 7:32:24 PM

BreakMeShakeMe

Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline

Although we've had a lot of threads on this subject... I'm missing these types of profiles everyones talking about. I've yet to run across a dommes request for gifts... tributes.. money.. anything.. other than honest submission from the one that seeks them out or visa versa... maybe it's my settings too.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do, Skill is knowing how to, Virtue is just doing it.

(in reply to fullofgrace)

Post #: 2

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 7:45:13 PM

Hercuckslave

Posts: 103
Joined: 5/21/2006
Status: offline

breakmeshake me hasn't run into it because she too is a female. but for the male submissive seeking a dominant female, the majority of what he runs into is of the "freeze dried money domme" type. the problem is that the ratio of male subs to fem dommes is sadly skewed, and it seems that any halfway decent woman who can pick up a flogger and not get a job figures she can make an easy buck. sad state of affairs, but then again, there must be a lot of foolish guys out there willing to pay them as is evident in the ever growing population of the golddommes out there.

i thank Goddess that I am owned and loved for the slave as well as the man that i am. i feel real sympanthy for the true male slave out there who sincerely wishes to give of himself and serve a Mistress. i for one would never be able to be sure if she wanted me for me, or for my wallet.

(in reply to BreakMeShakeMe)

Post #: 3

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 7:50:58 PM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

Ok. So I went to collarme, took down all search perimeters to "any" in America. Males, females, Dom, sub, 18 – 99, straight, gay, ALL…
and then put the word "tribute" in as a search term
32 returns
Out of 294 thousand registered users, only 32 used the word "tribute"
That’s about 1%
6 were male.
1 was a couple.
The rest were female.
Now, there’s the facts.
Here’s my assumptions and guesses.
I didn’t read the profiles, but I would lay money on the bet that at least some of those profiles say "I’m not interested in tributes" or "I’m not interested in Dommes looking for tribute."

So, in essence, I totally agree with Jessica.
This seems like something that is talked about more than something that is actually happening.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to Hercuckslave)

Post #: 4

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 7:56:07 PM

lisa1978

Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline

Because female submissives can find play partners for free. There are a lot of pro Dommes that are just using market demands as a way to make money and/or support their chosen way of life.

For the way more serious Dommes it also is very much a difference between man and woman. Men are use to taking care of the woman. For some the financial exchange is an important part of the power exchange. I believe though this type is a very small minority.

_____________________________

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

(in reply to Hercuckslave)

Post #: 5

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 8:00:09 PM

Sirandlittle1

Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

tributes are usually of monetary value. My submissive male friend has had all 3 of HIS choice of female Domme request these. So, definately something that is actually occurring for him. All 3 denied and refuted that they were proDomme.

my take on that? : = a form of prostituion. Which is called pro-Domming. and each to their own.

But to say you are not a professional, and then ask for a 'gift' or 'tribute' is a tad dishonest, and therefor not my personal cup of tea. Especially, had he sought a professional Domme, with a researched good reputation, he'd probably of experienced a better outcome for the play session too.

little1

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 6

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 8:00:32 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hercuckslave

breakmeshake me hasn't run into it because she too is a female. but for the male submissive seeking a dominant female, the majority of what he runs into is of the "freeze dried money domme" type. the problem is that the ratio of male subs to fem dommes is sadly skewed, and it seems that any halfway decent woman who can pick up a flogger and not get a job figures she can make an easy buck. sad state of affairs, but then again, there must be a lot of foolish guys out there willing to pay them as is evident in the ever growing population of the golddommes out there.

i thank Goddess that I am owned and loved for the slave as well as the man that i am. i feel real sympanthy for the true male slave out there who sincerely wishes to give of himself and serve a Mistress. i for one would never be able to be sure if she wanted me for me, or for my wallet.

That pretty much sums it up well. The laws of supply and demand are in play and it's a sellers market! There is nothing quite so pathetic as the lonely (lowly?) male sub (I know, I AM one) that seeks One to serve. Personally, regardless of how bad things get, I'll go back to vanilla before I go the Dominatrix route. I'm in this for the D/s connection, not to pay someone's rent or make their car payment. I don't blame those guys that do go to pros though...sometimes that's all you've got...and there are plenty of women out there that understand the basic principles involved (and the male sex drive) and work it to their financial advantage.

(in reply to Hercuckslave)

Post #: 7

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 8:03:25 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

Ok. So I went to collarme, took down all search perimeters to "any" in America. Males, females, Dom, sub, 18 – 99, straight, gay, ALL…
and then put the word "tribute" in as a search term
32 returns
Out of 294 thousand registered users, only 32 used the word "tribute"
That’s about 1%
6 were male.
1 was a couple.
The rest were female.
Now, there’s the facts.
Here’s my assumptions and guesses.
I didn’t read the profiles, but I would lay money on the bet that at least some of those profiles say "I’m not interested in tributes" or "I’m not interested in Dommes looking for tribute."

So, in essence, I totally agree with Jessica.
This seems like something that is talked about more than something that is actually happening.

Sorry, but no, it's quite real. In the somewhat limited time that I have been searching, I've run across it many times. Sometimes it's made very clear up front and others it is subtle and hinted at but definitely in play. My experience anyway.

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 8

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 8:18:59 PM

Hercuckslave

Posts: 103
Joined: 5/21/2006
Status: offline

its more than real. its out of control in its proportion. i see it in the chat rooms, i hear it from male submissive friends who encounter it on an almost daily basis. i believe that 99% or more of the ones looking for tributes are not dommes at all. just opportunists. now don't get me wrong...i am NOT bashing prodommes. i know some very wonderful and reputable prodommes with great skill and integrity. but as one post above pointed out, they are being HONEST in their intentions. There is a supply and demand out there and they are offering a service to those willing to pay. but the "freeze dried money dommes" out there who claim to NOT be pros, but insist on tributes are simply gold diggers looking for an easy dollar. it reflects poorly on dommes (pro and no pro alike) amd perverts (couldn't find a better word) what can be a beautiful, loving, and spiritual lifestyle.

keep the faith my uncollared brothers. and to stand out....learn to change your focus to serving and pleasing the one that fate might have in store for you, rather than in meeting your own needs. because if you are truly slave wired, the ONLY way to get your needs met, is to put the needs and pleasures of your Goddess before your own.

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 9

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 8:20:27 PM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

I didn't say it wasn't real or it wasn't going on or it never happened.
I said it's talked about more than it happens.
At least here on collarme.
There's usually about 3 - 5 threads per week about money Dommes and scammers and tributes of one form or another.
I know damn well that the large percentage of Dominas who post here on these forums reply with a mjority sound off of "I don't ask for money. What kind of women are you approaching?"
And I truly believe that's what it comes down to.
The type of women these guys are apporaching.
If they are going after the media stereotype 6 foot tall, long haired brunette, ultra thin ladies, with galore pics of them decked out in fetish wear, holding expensive playtoys, and checkmarking off every sexy kink as "Lives for"...
guess what you're probably messaging.... a Pro.
Many submissives have found that once they get that hyped up crap out of their head and start messaging realistic looking everyday women, with pics that are snapshots in front of the house, and have a realistic list of likes and dislikes, and proudly state that they refuse to be someone's flogging machine... well suddenly this ominous request for tribute disappears.

I don't think it's right or wrong to ask for tribute.
I don't think it's happening all the time to all sub males by all Dominas the way it's often made out to be.
I truly believe that we usually get exactly what we were looking for.
And then often whine about it not being what we really wanted.

If the boys are tired of being asked for money, they should rightly quit approaching the ladies with "gold digger" written all over them.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 10

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 8:21:49 PM

BreakMeShakeMe

Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hercuckslave

breakmeshake me hasn't run into it because she too is a female. but for the male submissive seeking a dominant female, the majority of what he runs into is of the "freeze dried money domme" type.

Ok.. this has me curious now... do the dommes seek gifts and or tributes from the male subs...and not the female subs?

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do, Skill is knowing how to, Virtue is just doing it.

(in reply to Hercuckslave)

Post #: 11

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 8:27:42 PM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

probably...IMHO the typical male is so gulible and desperate that they are suckered into paying for something they can't find for free...then there's the smart ones that know better than to give a stranger money.

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Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to BreakMeShakeMe)

Post #: 12

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 8:33:46 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BreakMeShakeMe

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hercuckslave

breakmeshake me hasn't run into it because she too is a female. but for the male submissive seeking a dominant female, the majority of what he runs into is of the "freeze dried money domme" type.

Ok.. this has me curious now... do the dommes seek gifts and or tributes from the male subs...and not the female subs?

Wouldn't know, because I'm not female. Likewise, I think Proprietrix can't really know because she's not male.

(in reply to BreakMeShakeMe)

Post #: 13

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 8:36:18 PM

fullofgrace

Posts: 395
Joined: 3/24/2006
From: fl, usa
Status: offline

this is particularly directed at proprietrix, but also some of the others who have responded.

i'm not saying if it's right or wrong to do it, or even suggesting that it's demanded more from male subs than female, or anything like that. i'm not even saying that it happens ALL THE FREAKING TIME. the point is, it's proportionally coming more from female dominants than male and i'm just curious as to why. even proprietrix showed, from her post, that the number of female dominant profiles that discuss it and use the word "tribute" outnumber the male profiles who do the same. regardless of how big the difference is (and i believe it's bigger than just those who expressly SAY tribute in their profile, because i've seen at least 15-20 profiles of female dominants either hinting at it or saying it outright, and i don't go profile searching that often) there IS a difference.

i'm not making any value judgments here. i'm just curious. i don't agree with it, and i would never do it, but if it works, it works. i'm not here to say whether it's prostitution or whatever. i just want to know why it tends to happen more in female dominants than in males.

thank you all for your kind responses :)

_____________________________

i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Post #: 14

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 8:36:52 PM

BreakMeShakeMe

Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline

alrighty then... answered my question... thanks

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do, Skill is knowing how to, Virtue is just doing it.

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 15

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 8:54:32 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

There are some male Dom's who do require that their working subs/slaves give them a part of their salary to offset the costs of *toys* or *living expenses* if they live with their Dom. Most of these gents have more than one sub/slave who is giving him part of their earnings. This could be viewed as tribute although it is not called such and usually not mentioned in profiles.

Paying tribute to someone can be done in different ways for the female sub it could be being on her knees with her mouth open waiting for her Masters cock or the for the male sub it could be holding out his wallet waiting for his Mistress to pluck out some twenties.

Some guys get off on handing over money to a woman, some do not. I am a Domme and I've never asked for money, I don't need it, I make enough on my own.

~Lashra

(in reply to BreakMeShakeMe)

Post #: 16

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 9:03:11 PM

BreakMeShakeMe

Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline

Lashra.......... thank you. Got a more understanding that time...

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do, Skill is knowing how to, Virtue is just doing it.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 17

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 9:12:37 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fullofgrace

. the point is, it's proportionally coming more from female dominants than male and i'm just curious as to why. even proprietrix showed, from her post, that the number of female dominant profiles that discuss it and use the word "tribute" outnumber the male profiles who do the same. regardless of how big the difference is (and i believe it's bigger than just those who expressly SAY tribute in their profile, because i've seen at least 15-20 profiles of female dominants either hinting at it or saying it outright, and i don't go profile searching that often) there IS a difference.

Probably because female submissives have male doms beating our doors down. I dont think a pro male dom would have much of a business, considering there isnt a single sub female who cant get dominanted for free. But sub males outnumber female dominants. The male subs have much slimmer pickings; less fem dommes to choose from. So the fem dommes can get alot of hungry sub men to pay for it. Ya know...the typical supply and demand thing.

(in reply to fullofgrace)

Post #: 18

RE: tributes and gender - 6/18/2006 11:52:12 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fullofgrace

this is something that's been randomly nagging at me for a bit.

why is it that financial/gift tributes seem to be a phenomena that surround female dominants? i have seen very few male dominant profiles that demand or even mention tributes, and many more female ones. can someone shed some light on this for me?

Perhaps this contrast in behavior finds its roots in the difference between the sexes and how they relate to each other. In many species it is not uncommon for the male to entice with a nuptial gift, and a female to expect it prior to mating. While BDSM obviously has other focuses in mind, one would have to be blind to not see how sexuality is a primary engine of motivation in a great portion of this subculture.

It does not happen often that males are the recipients of these tributes, but it does happen, and I can personally say that I love it when I receive a gift from a prospective slave or admirer.

(in reply to fullofgrace)

Post #: 19

RE: tributes and gender - 6/19/2006 12:29:18 AM

Bluebird

Posts: 384
Joined: 2/17/2006
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline

If you are just searching on the word "tribute," Proprietrix, that might account for the disparity. I live in Las Vegas and I have my home page default set to Nevada only. And the words I see fly by a lot are "gifts", "financially generous slaves", "take me shopping", "email me about my requirement$$$", etc. These are ladies who are emphatically pro-dommes (which is illegal in Las Vegas, btw; it is categorized with prostitution, rightly or wrongly). I have no problem with this if it works for them and their subs, but if a man emails them about wanting to be a "true" slave and she emails him back a rate sheet, well, what was he expecting with a profile like that?! There are plenty of dominant women (non-pro) on collarme, myself included, but if a prospective emails me a laundry list of what he expects, or if an out-of-towner messages me that he will be in Vegas on X date and when can we meet, I tell him to call a pro, not a lifestyler.

And men DO have to pay for things women - ANY woman - can get for free - witness all the really ugly women in malls with children. 'Nuff said!

That said, I do enjoy a genuine gift - a piece of candy from my favorite shoppe, or my favorite (hard to find) flower on my birthday, that sort of thing. But I don't think those kind of "gifts" were what you were talking about.

_____________________________

Love is patient, love is kind. I am neither. Get over it.

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 20

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