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RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 8:08:19 PM

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OMG- I almost choked. LOL. To me all this smells like a Wanker to me, but I have also seen some seriously dumb 18 yr olds. I am Mentoring a 19 yr old sub in RT that joined our Munch Group. Frankly if this person is real the'll never really understand that cyber BDSM - is Fantasy- until they get real life experiences and learn to interact with real people.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/18/2013 7:53:25 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

internet has all the truth!

They can't put anything on the internet that isn't true.

Oh, that was the one I had on my mind lol:)))

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/18/2013 7:56:31 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

I do, however, think the OP is getting a raw deal here. It doesn't sound like there are any plans to meet AND she is not a primary partner, so it seems like a dead-end relationship. If people wanna have fun online, I'm all for it, but I do worry that the OP is feeling a strong emotional connection and is investing in something that isn't going anywhere. It seems like this might have a painful end.

I'd share your sentiments Athena except being more cynical than you, I don't get the feeling that the op is real. Nor is her dom real. Nor the gf. I think all of them are one lonely guy on a computer who likes to cross dress and wank to naked girls on cam and is using this in an attempt to do all that.

Yeh it wouldn't surprise me, but there's still some good advice in this thread that might give somebody something to think about?

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/18/2013 9:07:20 AM

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From: London
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If it's true that this isn't about cybersex, then I can't see what benefit there'd be in this swap.

I've never done online, but I can imagine I might one day - say, if I made contact with someone amazing in New Zealand (I'm in the UK) and we were planning visits, or our next visit, and thinking about relocation.

If this happened then, apart from Skype calls where we'd talk, dominating her online would I guess consist of e-mails in which I'd explain and set rules for her, and give her instructions; and perhaps e-mails from her explaining what she's done to comply. I guess we'd share photographs showing me what she'd eaten, the state of her nails, how she'd complied with her dress code and so on. I guess we might share a task-management system or something like that. We might communicate through a private blog that could be a souvenir when we were together in real life.

Imagining all this, I can't see for the life of me how swapping her would help either me, or her. It'd either mean (a) letting someone else try to hold her to my standards, or (b) letting her off her responsibilities to me for a while, and accept a totally different structure that might contradict mine.

If (a), how could the other guy possibly do this, not being me? However great he might be (and the chances of that would be low) he'd need at least as much instruction in my ways as she did! And he'd bore me to death telling me how his girlfriend has to do X, Y and Z.

If it was (b), it'd just interfere with my ideas and plans for her. If I wanted her to be vegetarian, I would not want someone else having her eat meat. Why would I? I'd want meeting my expectations to become an ingrained, everyday habit with her - not to be interrupted.

Either way, as Athena said, why would I want my most valuable possession in someone else's hands? I'd be possessive about her, in the best sense (okay, and perhaps the worst).

Equally, I can't see why I'd want to try being "with" someone else online for a few days. I'd need to begin all over again explaining what was expected. Or else I'd need to try to enforce some other man's expectations on this woman I didn't know, having taken time to learn his rules. But some of those things might be things I don't understand or believe in - or even think were good for her.

For all those reasons, it's hard to believe this man is serious. I'm sorry to say this to the OP, but I suspect he wants to find a new woman to interact with. Anyway, it'd put her at risk, and is overall a very bad idea.

(in reply to saundrakitty)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/18/2013 10:18:47 AM

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OMG..........................hahahaha...................BON JOUR, meet my french fry.

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My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to EligibleOwner)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/18/2013 10:24:33 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EligibleOwner
Imagining all this, I can't see for the life of me how swapping her would help either me, or her.

I could see how it would help. Especially for someone that is just getting their feet wet. It could expose her to different types of dynamics or allow her to experience something that her current Dominant doesn't have within his set of skills. It would give a novice a chance to see what they really like and what works for them.

But, that ain't gonna happen over a webcam.

_____________________________

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to EligibleOwner)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/18/2013 10:40:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
But, that ain't gonna happen over a webcam.

I think this is the crucial point here.

OP maintains that it's 'real' and 'serious'.
Yet she also says it's only ever going to be cyber because neither have the time to organise a real meet.
"Serious" doesn't stay cyber-only, neither does "real".
There hasn't been any mention that there are plans to meet for real.
And of course, OP's 'Dom' also has a significant 'other' in his relationship - his GF.

I honestly think OP is on a hiding to nothing and will land with a heavy bump.
I also think the idea he's planted in her head to arrange a cyber-swap with someone else is the start of a very steep downward slippery slope.

I cannot see anything good at her end of this sad relationship.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/18/2013 10:43:33 AM

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Can't the submissives just swap cams thru the mails and we can all get along?

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RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/18/2013 11:14:11 AM

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Cant doms just show us who has the biggest wack a woo and the biggest best noggin so us submissives can find Mister Perfect?

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

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RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/18/2013 11:16:01 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Cant doms just show us who has the biggest wack a woo and the biggest best noggin so us submissives can find Mister Perfect?

That would be me on both counts but don't tell anyone I said that. I'd hate to die in a crush of nakie subbies. OK, I lied, that is EXACTLY how I wanna go.

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RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/18/2013 11:17:06 AM

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_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/18/2013 8:38:07 PM

Posts: 3245
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quote:

Frankly if this person is real the'll never really understand that cyber BDSM - is Fantasy-

Interesting. But what about non-cyber BDSM is real? Certainly the ropes are real, the needles are real, the whips are real, the cage is real but are these not props to support one's play session fantasy? We "play" do we not? Is the OP simply "playing" also with a web cam? Is the web cam as real as a whip? Is he web cam not allowed in BDSM "play" but the electric shocker is and if so who decided that? In other words, how did you decide your "play" is real and her's is not?

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RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/18/2013 8:39:07 PM

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I can touch it and feel it.

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Everything has changed

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RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/18/2013 8:55:18 PM

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ty- that is what i am getting at. Its hard to interact with some one and read their body language over a web cam. Even my Master would never do that with me, and like wise i would never do that with a sub. When i was that age I actually experienced it real time and honesty feel that is the best way to go. i made time in my schedule even if it was just an hour- but i did it. Web cam is ok for some things but not for an entire relationship.I sorry but that's my opinion, and i have mentored younger subs before and I am doing that right now in real time and not on the internet.

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/18/2013 10:06:05 PM

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Because "virtual" relationships and interactions are just that, "virtual."

Before you have the chance to attempt some other philosophical bullshit you are clueless about, "virtual" means "simulating the real thing."

So does that seep into your head?

(in reply to Arturas)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/19/2013 7:34:51 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Because "virtual" relationships and interactions are just that, "virtual."

Before you have the chance to attempt some other philosophical bullshit you are clueless about, "virtual" means "simulating the real thing."

So does that seep into your head?

Do I understand you to say that a planned and orchestrated play session carefuly crafted, in person, by a Dom to simulate a real and hopeless situation is the "real thing" but the same Dom doing a mind fuck via cam is not? As for me, I am very certain after practicing this lifestyle since 2005 that all BDSM play is "simulating the real thing" or we would be all serving prison terms and it is up to the Dom and sub to decide the medium used for said mind fuck.

How did you decide you can make that judgement of others in their choosen form of BDSM play? Also, when one resorts to personal insults to push their point don't you agree they are generally left with only that in their hopelessly desperate need to appear clued in?

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RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/19/2013 2:25:18 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Cant doms just show us who has the biggest wack a woo and the biggest best noggin so us submissives can find Mister Perfect?

C'mon now-I've been doing that for years :-o

_____________________________

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(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/19/2013 7:29:37 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Because "virtual" relationships and interactions are just that, "virtual."

Before you have the chance to attempt some other philosophical bullshit you are clueless about, "virtual" means "simulating the real thing."

So does that seep into your head?

Do I understand you to say that a planned and orchestrated play session carefuly crafted, in person, by a Dom to simulate a real and hopeless situation is the "real thing" but the same Dom doing a mind fuck via cam is not? As for me, I am very certain after practicing this lifestyle since 2005 that all BDSM play is "simulating the real thing" or we would be all serving prison terms and it is up to the Dom and sub to decide the medium used for said mind fuck.

How did you decide you can make that judgement of others in their choosen form of BDSM play? Also, when one resorts to personal insults to push their point don't you agree they are generally left with only that in their hopelessly desperate need to appear clued in?

Well, you seem to be trying desperately to be clued in and seem to feel you are the lone voice of reason here, yet, more people agree with me than with you.

You are discussing "scenes" while we are discussing relationships. Nothing anyone says is going to change your mind, but given your history here, it is certainly good for the OP that she has rational people like me and the others to help her see what is wrong with her situation.

(in reply to Arturas)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/19/2013 8:04:41 PM

poise

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
I am very certain after practicing this lifestyle since 2005 that all BDSM play is "simulating the real thing" or we would be all
serving prison terms and it is up to the Dom and sub to decide the medium used for said mind fuck.

Say what? You mean, since 2005, you have only been "simulating" BDSM, and not actually doing the real thing?
That certainly explains an awful lot of your previous posts here on the boards.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
How did you decide you can make that judgement of others in their choosen form of BDSM play? ?

Perhaps it was as easy for her as it was for you when you made the statement bolded above. Duh.

< Message edited by poise -- 2/19/2013 8:05:44 PM >

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RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/19/2013 8:34:50 PM

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dunno about anyone else but we never ever plan out long, detailed sessions. We don't even plan any sessions at all or any type of play. It just happens and it's always real. There is no pretending for there to be inescapable situations. There really ARE no inescapable situations. If I have to pretend or roleplay, we would both be bored to death.

So while you may get off on elaborate, minutely planned scenes, it's not that way for many of us.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to poise)

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