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RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 5:30:50 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

-fast reply-

An 18 year old girl should get the hell off of collarme. Just my strong opinion.

I disagree... there's nothing wrong with using this place at 18, it's a legitimate way to maybe find someone local to have fun with so long as you're right in the head about it.

And maybe don't spend so long frantically flicking the bean on skype that you forget to have a life as well!

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 5:44:11 AM

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Serious question OP... Is English your first language?

If I were your Dom I'd be encouraging you to get extra English classes.

Sincerely... Your future happiness and fulfilment are far more likely to be improved if you work on your lack of literacy than by serving another Dom.

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Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

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RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 5:52:44 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Any Dom who would 'loan' their submissive to some dude they don't even know would have to be one of the dumbest fucks in the universe.

As Ron would say, you can quote Me.

Or just go to Ron OP, as far as I am aware of, he likes blowjobs

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

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(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 6:04:13 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

Hello Doms,
Thank you for taking your time to read this. My Dom is looking to swap me with you sub as a learning experience. It will only be 3-7 days. Please message me if you are interested. I will give you my yahoo to chat.
Thank you Sir
lauren

Greetings.

About time a Dom answered, eh?

A Dom???

where???

Popcorn anyone???

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to Arturas)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 6:53:51 AM

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Joined: 10/23/2012
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FR~

I think OP is extremely naive to be thinking any of this cyber bs is "real".

Nothing cyber is ever real.
Nothing cyber is ever going to teach you anything either.

As for cyber-swapping a sub.... I think that's another polite way of getting rid of someone.
Even better if you can get the sub to do it for you!

Without any face-to-face meetings there is no D/s relationship at all and neither party owes anything to anyone.
If it was 'serious' then either one of you would make the attempt at an actual meeting.
You say his GF knows about it? To what extent I wonder???
He probably told her he's found some 18yo dumbfuck chick that likes to cyber with him so he gets his jollies when GF is away.

Seriously OP, you need to wake up and smell the coffee!!
This isn't real. Nor is it 'serious' in any way, shape or form.
This is pure cyber fantasy that only really benefits the so-called 'dom'.
You are nothing more than his online wank-fodder.
And by the sounds of it, he's tiring of you - hence the task of you finding a "swap" for him.

Sheeesh! I'd have kicked this SOB to the kerb and found someone REAL.
The moment he asked for a swap would be when I pull the plug and have nothing more to do with him.

(in reply to Phoenixpower)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 7:22:02 AM

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From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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The thing about online relationships is that they feel real. It's not (just) because the person is naive -- it has to do with how our brains work.

The human brain is all about adaption and connection. It has the marvelous ability to make assumptions and fill in the blanks. In fact, you could say it's programmed to do so.

It's also programmed to make connections.

So when two people on the internet meet and make some sort of mental connection, their brains automatically do what brains do -- they fill in the blanks and make assumptions about who and what the other person is. We all do this about people, all the time.

But the thing about online is that you don't have the body language that is essential to real communication. It's so much easier to lie and to pretend to be what you are not. The other person can't see your give away body language.

Camming with someone may give you some body language, but it's such a controlled environment. It's a help sure but it's never going to replace meeting someone in person and spending large amounts of time with them. It's can't.

I know someone who was on cam with someone she considered her dom pretty much 24/7 if they were both awake. Months later she found out he was 'camming' with 3 or 4 other subs at the same time. He was a well accomplished player with some great lines.

So sure, online relationships can *seem* real, until you stumble on all the lies.

For the OP: A man who really loves you and wants to spend time with you will make it happen. He won't rely on excuses for why he can't.

_____________________________

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 7:45:14 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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That's a very nice post, Chatte. It explains things so beautifully without putting the OP down.

I met my husband online, we were in different countries and had a fairly long online courtship. So I am reluctant to be dismissive of online relationships in general. I do, however, think the OP is getting a raw deal here. It doesn't sound like there are any plans to meet AND she is not a primary partner, so it seems like a dead-end relationship. If people wanna have fun online, I'm all for it, but I do worry that the OP is feeling a strong emotional connection and is investing in something that isn't going anywhere. It seems like this might have a painful end.

Next up, I'm concerned that the dom in question doesn't know what he is doing. I still have no idea what either party could gain from an online swap other than new cyber-sex partners -which she says they don't do. I'm concerned that the swap-dom is going to put incriminating videos of her all over the internet - if dom number 1 isn't already doing so.

I think the internet can be a tool, and like any tool it can be misused. Hopefully this little adventure will all just be great fun for everyone involved - and it could be fun but I don't think it's going to lead to any sort of enlightenment or strengthening of the relationship and I'd hate for her to be hoping for that and have it end in tears.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 8:47:06 AM

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online can be a good starting tool to meet someone but until its face to face its half a relationship at the most.
I never understand when people think they are having a full pledged relationship online.
My guess is this is an older guy who gets off on controlling you, and now has a taste for taking it further. He doesnt care about you he cares about the CONTROL and the POWER he gets, that you are giving him. You are simply a past time when he has time for you, to jack off too. ANd he will tell you all kinds of shit to keep you doing it. Con artists get the name by instilling CONFIDENCE and they are very good at it.
He is taking advantage of your youth, and you are wantng to believe his crock of crap. ITs all about sex and control and nothing else. In my opinion, a man whether dom or not, will want to make you a complete relationship in all ways before wanting to add another to the relationship.

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My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 9:04:02 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
I still have no idea what either party could gain from an online swap other than new cyber-sex partners

That's pretty much it. Other than maybe making recordings of someone singing showtunes into a hairbrush to post on You Tube.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 11:11:21 AM

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From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LoveSlider

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

-fast reply-

An 18 year old girl should get the hell off of collarme. Just my strong opinion.

I disagree... there's nothing wrong with using this place at 18, it's a legitimate way to maybe find someone local to have fun with so long as you're right in the head about it.

And maybe don't spend so long frantically flicking the bean on skype that you forget to have a life as well!

Hahaha. Yes, this. I can't tell you how much I wish I'd known at 18 that there was an actual BDSM community full of normal people that you could have a healthy and kink-filled relationship/sex life with. I knew perfectly well that that was what I wanted by that age, and had even done a little messing around with light bondage and spanking by then, but I didn't really know how to go about getting more than that. I think I would've saved myself a lot of frustration and heartache if I'd known, especially if I'd found some kind of mentor or more experienced friend.

On the other hand, I might've ended up in some bad situation like the OP because I didn't have much sense at that age either.

I think the OP would benefit a lot from going to munches and meeting people in real life.

(in reply to LoveSlider)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 11:22:55 AM

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From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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Thank you.

I met Himself online as well. But as soon as we knew we were getting serious, we both realized we had to meet. That he was 3000 miles away was an obstacle and a challenge, but one we overcame, just as you two did.

That's what you do when you are serious.

And I agree, this young lady is very emotionally invested in a relationship that can't possibly end well. She is just going to get more and more attached, meanwhile his excuses for why they can't meet won't go away. Since he has a g/f, he can't possibly be as invested as she is.

Hopefully the OP will give it some thought and realize she should end things before she's even more emotionally invested.

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(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 11:39:54 AM

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quote:

why not online?

If you'd been a fly on my bedroom wall this weekend, you'd know why

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RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 1:12:31 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
I still have no idea what either party could gain from an online swap other than new cyber-sex partners

That's pretty much it. Other than maybe making recordings of someone singing showtunes into a hairbrush to post on You Tube.

Or video of hot young nieve girl stroking herself on skype just for boyfriend (she thinks) that ends up on porn hub & any number of amature porn sites

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
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(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 2:11:57 PM

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

I do, however, think the OP is getting a raw deal here. It doesn't sound like there are any plans to meet AND she is not a primary partner, so it seems like a dead-end relationship. If people wanna have fun online, I'm all for it, but I do worry that the OP is feeling a strong emotional connection and is investing in something that isn't going anywhere. It seems like this might have a painful end.

I'd share your sentiments Athena except being more cynical than you, I don't get the feeling that the op is real. Nor is her dom real. Nor the gf. I think all of them are one lonely guy on a computer who likes to cross dress and wank to naked girls on cam and is using this in an attempt to do all that.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 3:12:34 PM

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From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
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~FRing it~

Im reminded of a song by Bob Dylan when I read this thread. "Ah, but I was so much older then, Im younger than that now." In youth, we think we know everything. In old age, we realize just how young and dumb we really were. Back in the day, I used to engage in online only BDSM and literally thought that was where it was at. But as Ive gotten older, I have realized that online only BDSM is an illusion...a facade. Now Im saying this with the idea in mind of the situation the OP speaks of. Its definitely different when two people initially meet online and then transition to a real life experience with each other. I dont know about anyone else, but the energy (be it emotional, mental, or physical) exchange that is experienced in a real life BDSM situation with someone else just does not happen with online only BDSM. And the fact that someone who is young is thinking of letting some online Dom pimp her out to some other figment of their collective imagination just screams bad idea all the way around.

OP, if you are real...I hope that you really take these things that others have said to you and at least think about them. Id caution you to not get so emotionally invested in a situation that is only going to end up leaving you ultimately disillusioned. You think that your needs and desires are being met, but you too will probably realize if you ever have real time experiences with someone just how much you were deluding yourself with this online thing.

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 3:48:14 PM

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internet has all the truth!

They can't put anything on the internet that isn't true.

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to monotalie)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 3:49:12 PM

searching4mysir

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Joined: 6/16/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

internet has all the truth!

They can't put anything on the internet that isn't true.

He's a french model....

I love that ad!

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No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 3:56:32 PM

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every time I see it I'm reminded of this place when "newbies" post questions.

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RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 4:33:56 PM

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Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

Hello Doms,
Thank you for taking your time to read this. My Dom is looking to swap me with you sub as a learning experience. It will only be 3-7 days. Please message me if you are interested. I will give you my yahoo to chat.
Thank you Sir
lauren

Greetings.

About time a Dom answered, eh? I'm not interested in a swap but certainly not because something is wrong with the suggestion or with you making it. Indeed, temporary sub swapping is pretty common during sessions at the Mark lifestyle club on most Saturdays and I don't consider the Mark club an abberation so I can say it's not uncommon with BDSM lifestylers. IF it is cyber only and that floats your boat then I say it is good if you say it is good. You know, if we sat around and picked on each other for the way we practice our lifestyle we would have few friends in the BDSM community, eh?

Now I realize your Dom is not looking for me to critique his proposal and I would not do so without the real certainty of taking this thread away from the topic, which is "please message me if you are interested", so I wanted to simply assure you that what you are asking is not out of the ordinary in the real BDSM world, which I have done, and also wanted to say that while your age is low you are indeed an adult and are therefore deserving of my respect in how you are making your own way and setting and achieving your own goals and if one of your goals is to support your Dom in this venture then very good for you.

quote:

Thank you Sir

You are most welcome.
Arturas

(in reply to Arturas)

RE: Swapping submissives for a few days? - 2/17/2013 5:28:50 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I sooooo agree!!!!

NBMG

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