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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they count his income against what i can make on SSI?


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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 5:07:23 AM   
Aileen1968


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The thing is....you aren't living within your means. You got a dog which you can't afford. To me, cable and internet is a luxury when you're getting ssi. I'm sure if I took the time and went back through your posts I could come up with a lot more examples.
You have posted many things over the years that have made me think wtf.

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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 5:11:12 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


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Thank you MommySparkles. So that;s why they objected to my Cd's and stuff.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MommySparkles

This is what I dug up on the subject for you.


In order to receive SSI, you can only have up to $2,000 in resources if you are single, and up to $3,000 in resources if you are married. (Resources include things like cash, checking and savings accounts, and stocks and bonds.)


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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 5:17:06 AM   
TheLilSquaw


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

That is exactly and 100 percent what she said.


She said do not say he is my bf, say he is a house mate if I am going to, and other wise do not report it.

You and I have two different idea's of gaming the system. My definition of gaming the system is pretending you need help and are disabled when you're not and socking the money away to live high on the hog. Which I'mt not doing.


HOW DOES MY LIVING ARRANGEMENT AFFECT MY SSI BENEFIT AMOUNT?

Your living arrangement is where you live, if you live alone or with someone else, or if you live in an institution, such as a nursing home. Your living arrangement also depends on who pays for your food and shelter. Whether you live alone or with someone else, we need to know who pays for your food, shelter, and utilities. Here are some examples of common living arrangement situations.

SUPPLEMENTAL SECURITY INCOME (SSI) LIVING ARRANGEMENTS

Compilation of the Social Security Laws

ETA: The paragraph above is from the Supplemental Security (SSI) Living Arrangements link. Both of those links are the regulations regarding SSI and specifically regarding living arrangements.

< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 2/23/2013 5:19:59 AM >


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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 5:17:56 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


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Cable and internet are not so expensive they're all mighty ground breaking bills. And as much of a shut in as I am, I deem internet necessary, it's how I reach out to people. It's not a luxury in my mind. and it is now how I am getting 99 percent of my diabetic recipes. I watch educational shows and cooking shows on cable, some stupid stuff sure, but i use it as a tool too Sure i can do all that at the library, but My computer if my life line to the world, is my tool not a toy.

I consider my dog vital to my well being too. I am alone 8 hours a day, I have no social outlets other than online and I have no friends, no one to talk to in real life, and I have very little contact with any one other than my bf and my parents. Calley may keeps me sane, well sane ish, and she keeps me company, There are many times in my life if it wasn't for my dog at the time, i would have been much worse off, mentally and emotionally. My childhood dog was the only reason I didn't try to run away and live on the streets because fuck all living on the streets has got to be better than being molested everyday and beaten and verbally abused. And I knew I couldn't take a dog on the run at 10/11 so I stayed home. I did eventually end up going into CPS system, but that's neither here not there now.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

The thing is....you aren't living within your means. You got a dog which you can't afford. To me, cable and internet is a luxury when you're getting ssi. I'm sure if I took the time and went back through your posts I could come up with a lot more examples.
You have posted many things over the years that have made me think wtf.
,


< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 2/23/2013 5:30:47 AM >


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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 5:30:32 AM   
TheLilSquaw


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From: Middle River, MD
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

Cable and internet are not so expensive they're all mighty ground breaking bills. And as much of a shut in as I am, I deem internet necessary, it's how I reach out to people. It's not a luxury. and it is now how I am getting 99 percent of my diabetic recipes. Sure i can do all that at the library, but My computer if my life line to the world, is my tool not a toy.

I consider my dog vital to my well being too. I am alone 8 hours a day, I have no social outlets other than online and I have no friends, and I have very little contact with any one other than my bf and my parents.




TFB,
You may take this as me being harsh but it's the truth. You are full of excuses and always have been. You are a shut in because YOU choose to be. Yes, you make the choice to make internet your only connection with the outside world. Yes, dealing with the WORLD may be uncomfortable, even hard but again you are making the choice not to.

You choose to pay for internet and cable rather than using that money on food for yourself. Food is a basic necessity and you putting having other things over providing your own food.

You made the choice to rack up credit card debt. Now you are choosing to pay down those bills when you can't even purchase your own food to eat.

You seriously NEED budgeting help or perhaps someone to manage your money for you.
You need to stop making excuses.










< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 2/23/2013 5:34:18 AM >


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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 5:37:05 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


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Yup. I do.

Some of the debt is 5 years old by the way, and yes it's lingered that long, and its taken this long to get my head out of my ass.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw


You seriously NEED budgeting help or perhaps someone to manage your money for you.
.









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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 5:50:01 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


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I am not really well liked or well received in social situations, I have gone out and done my best and thought I had given a good impression only to have someone tell James behind my back please make her leave,


Or had people I thought had liked me go to the host and complain that I was a pest and cornered them and they didn't appreciate it. When they had not once ever shown any displeasure in talking to me. They smiled, they laughed they engaged, and they did all the things that you do when yo appear to like talking to someone.

Or that I stank and my clothing stank, even though I wash my clothing an put clean clothing on and wash my body and my hair, and put deodorant on. And nobody else thought I stank. I dressed as nicely as I could. Clean clothing, clean body clean hair, everything was clean, and it wasn't dirty or stinky, and I even put on make up and put my hair up. And people still bitched to the hostess that they felt like I looked and smelled like I had not made an effort to show up.

maybe in that case I think they were just being bitchy i don't know.

Or the Echo group leader, said it was great to have me see you tomorow, and then that night called and told me we talked about it and we don't think you fit our group, you don't know how to quilt, and you really are not picking up what i am trying to teach you very well, so I don't know what you could do in our group. please don't come any more. When we had specifically talked about me sewing for the baby stuff they did.


I have had this happen so many times. I have chosen to stop trying. yes.


quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw


TFB,
. You are a shut in because YOU choose to be. Yes, you make the choice to make internet your only connection with the outside world. Yes, dealing with the WORLD may be uncomfortable, even hard but again you are making the choice not to.


You made the choice to rack up credit card debt. Now you are choosing to pay down those bills when you can't even purchase your own food to eat.

You seriously NEED budgeting help or perhaps someone to manage your money for you.
You need to stop making excuses.












< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 2/23/2013 5:52:57 AM >


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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 6:00:41 AM   
TheLilSquaw


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From: Middle River, MD
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom


I have had this happen so many times. I have chosen to stop trying. yes.



Just because some people were mean or harsh you have chosen to hide away from the world. You have chosen not to try because it is easy and safe. That is a choice YOU are making, they are simply your excuse.

If you want to change, stop making excuses.
To learn to interact with people, to learn social cues and what's socially appropriate you have to put yourself out there socially. Putting yourself out there is scary, people can be asshats but people can also be so supportive and loving.

Are you going to let strangers dictate your life choices though?
Are you going to continue to give other's that power over you?

You don't have to answer me here but I hope you think about that.


ETA: My grandfather used to tell me, "baby girl life is about making choices and living with the consequences of those choices. Good and bad."



< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 2/23/2013 6:02:28 AM >


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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 6:05:17 AM   
MommySparkles


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Regardless of what you say, you need to report that this person lives with you under SSI law or you will be frauding them and thats messy business. Also stop making excuses for why you are stopping trying. Heres a newflash the world can be cruel. I just move on and do what I do to make me happy. Bottom line is if you choose to stop trying then don't complain about how you barely make enough to us. You are not getting any sympathy from me. Theres no reason you should be on a BDSM site asking about Social Security. If you have questions go straight to the source. Your local Social Security office and obey the laws otherwise you are nothing more than a complaining fraud and if you post something rude to me that will give me more of a reason to laugh at you.



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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 6:05:40 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


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I am not making excuses, I am being honest. This has gone on for ages, and I am discouraged and hurt. I want to be liked and accepted, and the fact I "get it wrong" 90 percent of the time baters at my confidence.
It really would sting less if ppl told me to my face if I have blundered, not pretend they like menot have a third party do iy

I will say though, I have asked my therapist to try to help me in this arena.

< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 2/23/2013 6:11:16 AM >


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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 6:08:31 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


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Excuse me? Where did I say anythinrude to you?


Im not a rude person, I dont go around doing/sayingrudethings!
quote:

ORIGINAL: MommySparkles

Regardless of what you say, you need to report that this person lives with you under SSI law or you will be frauding them and thats messy business. Also stop making excuses for why you are stopping trying. Heres a newflash the world can be cruel. I just move on and do what I do to make me happy. Bottom line is if you choose to stop trying then don't complain about how you barely make enough to us. You are not getting any sympathy from me. Theres no reason you should be on a BDSM site asking about Social Security. If you have questions go straight to the source. Your local Social Security office and obey the laws otherwise you are nothing more than a complaining fraud and if you post something rude to me that will give me more of a reason to laugh at you.




< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 2/23/2013 6:17:02 AM >


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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 6:11:07 AM   
TheLilSquaw


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I am not making excuses, I am being honest. This has gone on for ages, and I am discouraged and hurt. I want to be liked and accepted, and the fact I "get it wrong" 90 percent of the time baters at my confidence.


I will say though, I have asked my therapist to try to help me in this arena.



You are making excuses.

If you say.. I don't do x because a, b, or c happened to me.
That is making an excuse.

Again, you can't learn social cues and how to socially interact with people if you don't put yourself out there socially. You're therapist can't teach you those things IMO. Life experience teaches you that.

I would venture to say a lot of people are socially awkward on some level or another.





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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 6:14:06 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


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I believe , and she does too, that she can give me the tools I need. Well some of them anyway.After that I agree it is all on/up to me! And I believe she can give me the support I may need to lick my wounds and get the hell up and run back out there!

< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 2/23/2013 6:24:38 AM >


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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 9:14:39 AM   
JustDragonflies


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

Just because some people were mean or harsh you have chosen to hide away from the world. You have chosen not to try because it is easy and safe. That is a choice YOU are making, they are simply your excuse.

If you want to change, stop making excuses.
To learn to interact with people, to learn social cues and what's socially appropriate you have to put yourself out there socially. Putting yourself out there is scary, people can be asshats but people can also be so supportive and loving.

Are you going to let strangers dictate your life choices though?
Are you going to continue to give other's that power over you?

You don't have to answer me here but I hope you think about that.


ETA: My grandfather used to tell me, "baby girl life is about making choices and living with the consequences of those choices. Good and bad."





These are interesting ideas. I'd like to propose something I'm not certain the OP feels, but is certainly accurate for some individuals. It's easy, from your perspective, to see those normal human reactions as "choices", but ultimately that's not necessarily accurate from a scientific perspective. Not all human beings actually do have a capacity or temperament for certain kinds of functions, processing certain information or being resilient in certain manners. Not everyone has internal reserves of emotional endurance to perform the techniques that would likely uplift their quality of life. This woman's situation is obviously awfully complicated, painful and draining. You may believe that your intolerance and perspective are helpful, but I'd like you to consider that you are minimizing the adversity that she is facing, cognitively, at minimum. (Which on some level, you realize since you previously suggested that she needs someone to manager her finances for her.)

Your grandfather is right although I'm not sure you're grasping the flip side of the "bad". Accepting consequences sometimes means accepting:"Right now I'm not strong enough to do this on my own, and am too afraid to take the help that's offered. And too exhausted to work through the fear. Everything is an uphill battle and just surviving like this is exhausting." People can become emotionally exhausted, depressed, depleted and it goes so far beyond their choice and will that it is outside of "choice". Maybe part of their lack of living skills, or lack of cognitive abilities or social stigmas or irresponsible or ignorant choices contributed to that state of BARELY surviving, but I just have to say... How you look at appears extremely simplistic.

For you, doing what she's doing might be a choice. But for her it may be far beyond a choice.

If you've never encountered the kind of adversity that is exhausting and defeating, lucky you. I've never found a pep talk to really effect the depth of such defeated exhaustion as would make someone share the sentiment that so much rejection, pain and suffering inspired them to GIVE UP.

The OP isn't necessarily making a choice to do what's easier and safer, by the way. I think most people can sense on some level that giving up is a bleak, dangerous place to be in, far from easy. Don't you see it's actually easier to have those friends and all that support?? And as humans, not all of our reactions to rejection are conscious choices. Our brains respond to things in ways that go beyond our conscious decision making functions. It is a wholly normal and human response to repeated rejection to withdraw. There are tools to help her (like the therapy which you suggested isn't actually useful!!) but simplifying the intensity of her pain is not one of them, in my experience.

---

OP, congrats to you for finding ways to take some joys, stick in there, get some control over your bills, and try to learn how to navigate the red tape of the world. It's a battle out here. Keep up the good work. I hope you find a place where you can rest your soul and climb on the horse again and try to see what more you can get out of your life and it sounds like that's your goal. But until then, know that at least someone understands how it is to be assaulted by life and not always have the capacity to do much more than survive. Good luck. And by the way.... Your therapist CAN and will help you understand social cues and social behavior. Kudos to you for reaching out to that person for help expanding your life. This is a perfect example of how you are not letting a stranger dictate your life, and are following your own (good) intention. :) Go you!!!

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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 9:36:14 AM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MommySparkles

and if you post something rude to me that will give me more of a reason to laugh at you.




I don't think I've ever seen her be rude to anyone, so I doubt your worries are warranted.

< Message edited by Level -- 2/23/2013 10:04:12 AM >


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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 9:56:43 AM   
TheLilSquaw


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From: Middle River, MD
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDragonflies


You may believe that your intolerance and perspective are helpful, but I'd like you to consider that you are minimizing the adversity that she is facing, cognitively, at minimum. (Which on some level, you realize since you previously suggested that she needs someone to manager her finances for her.)


Intolerance? I can't control how YOU perceive my posts to TFB but I am far from intolerant of her. SHE asked for MY input directly. I gave it to her. She will be the 1st to tell you that I don't pat people on the head and tell them what they want to hear for sake of telling them what they want to hear. That isn't me, never has been. Never will be and frankly I think it does her a disservice.

If someone asks for my opinion or input that is what they are going to get. PERIOD.

I don't minimize anyone's adversities. However, I do think many times those adversities and situations are of our own making.

quote:

]ORIGINAL: JustDragonflies

If you've never encountered the kind of adversity that is exhausting and defeating, lucky you. I've never found a pep talk to really effect the depth of such defeated exhaustion as would make someone share the sentiment that so much rejection, pain and suffering inspired them to GIVE UP.



First, you have no idea what adversity I have faced in my life. Although it's no secret on these boards that over the years of me being here I have had my own struggles including dealing with several exhausting and defeating disorders.

I wasn't trying to give TFB a "pep talk".
I was giving her MY opinion that she asked for.
If nothing else TFB knows that I will always give her MY real and honest opinion of things. It may not be pretty and it may not be what she wants to hear but it will NEVER be from a place of me being hurtful.

quote:

]ORIGINAL: JustDragonflies
The OP isn't necessarily making a choice to do what's easier and safer, by the way. I think most people can sense on some level that giving up is a bleak, dangerous place to be in, far from easy. Don't you see it's actually easier to have those friends and all that support??

And as humans, not all of our reactions to rejection are conscious choices. Our brains respond to things in ways that go beyond our conscious decision making functions. It is a wholly normal and human response to repeated rejection to withdraw. There are tools to help her (like the therapy which you suggested isn't actually useful!!) but simplifying the intensity of her pain is not one of them, in my experience.



TFB has already said that she is making the choice to stop trying to deal with people socially. So that is a conscious choice one that is owning.


I have NEVER once said that her pain isn't real.
Do I think much of pain is of her own making. Yes.

I have NEVER said that she didn't need to continue therapy or that therapy wasn't useful.
Do I think that therapy is the ONLY resource available to TFB. No, in-fact I have given her direct links to several groups that help with social anxieties and learning social skills.



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Profile   Post #: 116
RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 9:57:55 AM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MommySparkles

and if you post something rude to me that will give me more of a reason to laugh at you.





I find this funny coming from someone who is so proud of her rudeness.

< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 2/23/2013 9:58:10 AM >


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RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 11:23:09 AM   
LafayetteLady


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~Fast Reply~

I hear a lot of people here talking about fraud for not reporting and how wonderful to see their tax dollars at work. Here's a couple of thoughts....

Some of the people making those statements also collect some type of disability. Do they call the SS office and make sure ALL their income is reported?

Not for nothing squaw, but do you report all your earnings as a fin domme to the government on your taxes? Because that is fraud you know.

TFB's experiences in life have made her nearly agoraphobic, and that isn't a "choice" regardless of people seeming to think it is.

For those sitting in wonderment about their tax dollars at work, are YOU completely honest with the government? Have you reported every single dollar you have made, or saved? If you purchased a used car and had the seller say you paid less, you have committed tax fraud. Or is it that you think because you are able to work for a living that you are entitled to save a little and not report it to Uncle Sam?

How many people have done some off the books work? Yep, you guessed it, that's fraud against the government.

I find it amazing that so many people here have such perfect, law abiding lives.

How about the "fraud" of TFB's father choosing to take her "rent" and put it in savings for her? She is not allowed to have more than 2K in savings at any time. If she does, then suddenly she doesn't need help anymore.

I really loved the comment that she is "choosing" to pay off her debt which takes away money she needs for food. If she bought food instead, she would be equally bitched at and reminded that she has a weight problem and doesn't need that food, and she legitimately got into debt and she should be responsible and pay off the debt. It's really a no win, isn't it?

Let's look at a hypothetical situation here for a minute. She has been disabled her entire life. Anyone here who has read her posts or talked to her on the other side and think she can hold down a job is blinded by their ignorance, really. She certainly can't work with the public, given her inability to recognize social cues. She obviously doesn't have the advanced schooling for much else.

But let's say that she had managed to stay debt free and was living on a very tight budget. Most budgets allot for savings, so when some emergency comes up, you have a safety net. She isn't allowed that. If she saves money, they take away her SSI. So they are, in essence, forcing her to live check to check, hand to mouth, with no hope of a better future or being able to save for anything. Since she is disabled, she isn't entitled to save for anything like a vacation, a new television, or even a new couch.

Yes, she has dug herself a hole, but do you get what I'm saying here? Even if she hadn't, being on SSI means you aren't entitled to have anything in life. Because if you save for it, and we find out you have saved money, you have too many "assets" to receive SSI. So even if she put $10 a month away, which considering after Medicare is taken out, she receives about $610 a month to live on is nearly impossible, but even if she found a way to do that, if Social Security found out she had that money, they would take away her SSI.

Of course, let's not forget that if she used food pantries to get her all her food (difficult but possible depending on the area you live), someone would complain that she was taking food away from people who really need it.

Just imagine for one minute that you had suffered horrible abuse as a child (and I know some people here have), that you have multiple issues which prevent you from being able to hold down a job, and you were living in ONE room and had about $400 a month after insurance and rent to pay your bills, purchase food and necessities like shampoo and soap. You visit three to four food pantries a month to get staples so you pay as little as you can for food, but that provides you with mostly stuff that is unhealthy anyway because all those wonderful, financially stable people donate the crap from their pantries that they don't want (food pantries regularly give cranberry sauce, yam and mac and cheese, often all out dated). Still, you manage to save a couple bucks each month so you can get yourself a treat, maybe an outfit that didn't come from the local salvation army, and that no one has worn before you, or a new comforter set for your bed because the one you have is threadbare.

See, you aren't able to have those things because you aren't allowed to save money. Sure, lots of you are quick to say she needs a very strict budget. I'm one of them. But even with a strict budget, you can't get blood from a stone. Television and internet are luxuries? Really? How long have you lived without either, while also not being able to drive or work or have contact with the outside world? Reading books is wonderful, but you don't even get to watch the news without those things.

I guess it comes down to one thing here, let he/she who is without sin (or in this case, always completely honest with the government, IRS, and such) throw the first stone. Quite frankly, there is not one person here who can honestly say they can do that.

(in reply to TheLilSquaw)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 11:36:00 AM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
You make good points, LafayetteLady. I think it gives people a visceral reaction to see others (to borrow from another thread) "reaching into their pockets" without pulling their own weight to a reasonable extent.

To give this another perspective, I have a relative who was caught scamming the government. That person now has a felony fraud conviction hanging over them for the rest of their life. That person will face judgment and contempt from a society that, as you point out, is full of people who have pulled similar tricks with their taxes and such.

I don't like to see other people get away with stuff. Personally, I'm the kind of person that can't sleep at night if I don't give back the extra nickel that the grocery store clerk mistakenly gave me back with my change.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: If I report that James lives with me, can they coun... - 2/23/2013 11:38:14 AM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Not for nothing squaw, but do you report all your earnings as a fin domme to the government on your taxes? Because that is fraud you know.


Cash gifts are never considered income to the person receiving them, so I don't need to report cash gifts to the IRS. The person making them if they are over a certain amount must.

ETA: I've said it before I don't live off what I get from my finslaves. That isn't what pay my bills with and yes, I report my modeling work and video sales.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
I really loved the comment that she is "choosing" to pay off her debt which takes away money she needs for food. If she bought food instead, she would be equally bitched at and reminded that she has a weight problem and doesn't need that food, and she legitimately got into debt and she should be responsible and pay off the debt. It's really a no win, isn't it?


Since I am the one that made that comment I am going to respond.

Should she pay back the debt she has built up?
Yes, but not in the amount that means you can't feed yourself which from her own posts is what is happening. There is also a difference in buying food and going out to eat or ordering in.


ETA: There are MANY people who live pay check to pay check. Who can't afford an emergency sock, vacations, new furniture or things of that nature. She isn't alone in that.


< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 2/23/2013 12:01:27 PM >


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LilSquaw
Lifestyle & ProSwitch
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(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 120
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