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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/8/2013 12:49:25 PM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4females

You are very right it.

i preceive it as a man who takes cares of house, kids, everything that used to be a 50's wife responsibility. And yes submission is one of those.

Feminizing and staying at home is optional..depending upon the mutual agreement and on consent of bread winner.

Then perhaps "house husband" would be a better term. I find your use of "wife" to denote "submissive" to be HIGHLY offensive (as in, come closer so I can wet-slap you right across the face), though I understand you probably didn't INTEND to offend so I'll let it go. Like many women, I--as a WIFE--have enjoyed a higher income than My vanilla husband on several occasions (in fact at one point in our marriage he stayed home and tended house and was happy doing so). I also bought the house MYSELF, at one point owned all four of the vehicles we had in our driveway, owned several businesses over the years including owning My own retail business for 14 years (at which he was a part time EMPLOYEE of Mine). So, yeah..."wife" is not the term you are looking for if you mean "stay-at-home submissive".
THAT aside, I know there are women out there who would LOVE you. So if you are careful not to offend, I'm sure you'll find someone very soon.
--MM

< Message edited by MAINEiacMISTRESS -- 3/8/2013 1:19:11 PM >

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/8/2013 2:31:07 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		Yes, exactly. The word "wife" should never, never, ever be used in a context that connotes submission. I've always been suspicious and a bit uncomfortable with that term as it is.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/8/2013 2:38:47 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		I did a quick etymology search. The preliminary result is that wife is essentially a very old term for pussy. I'd appreciate help in proving or disapproving that.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/8/2013 2:41:00 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		And husband derives from "master of the house." There's a fucking surprise.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/8/2013 2:46:00 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

I did a quick etymology search. The preliminary result is that wife is essentially a very old term for pussy. I'd appreciate help in proving or disapproving that.


Crikey, what dictionary are you using!!! It's an old german word, carried over to English, meaning "woman, or wife" according to the OED.


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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/8/2013 2:50:54 PM   
crazyml


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Joined: 7/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

Since the only definition I know for "wife" is "husband sans penis," I have to say that I don't understand how a male wife can exist.

Defining "wife" in terms of stereotypical gender roles, especially if they come out of the 1950's, seems ridiculous and a bit offensive to me. Am I the only one who feels this way?


Given the number of women who actively seek 50's style relationships, it seems faintly ridiculous, and a bit offensive honestly, that you should find it ridiculous and offensive. Many people define their fantasies and desires in ways that are superficially politically incorrect but surely we're supposed to look beyond that?





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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/8/2013 3:00:21 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		Your counterpoint is that wife translates to wife...and I'm ridiculous? I'll respond once I finish work.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/8/2013 3:06:15 PM   
crazyml


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Joined: 7/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

Your counterpoint is that wife translates to wife...and I'm ridiculous? I'll respond once I finish work.


Well, as long as you can manage not to conflate two separate points, and debate in an adult manner, I've no doubt I'll be happy to engage with you.



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Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/8/2013 3:20:36 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		Ah, but the two points are related. In one point, you called me ridiculous. In the other point, you said something that I thought was ridiculous.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/8/2013 4:01:36 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4females

i was wondering if anyone is interested in having a male wife???


I'm a male. When I look in the mirror, I see a male.

I've seen me far too many times and frankly...it doesn't do it for me.

Having another of me would be slightly untenable.

No. A male wife would not work for me.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/8/2013 5:00:12 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie


quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4females

i was wondering if anyone is interested in having a male wife???


I'm a male. When I look in the mirror, I see a male.

I've seen me far too many times and frankly...it doesn't do it for me.

Having another of me would be slightly untenable.

No. A male wife would not work for me.



The question was about a wife, not a clone.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/9/2013 2:02:21 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		I did not call you ridiculous, I said that it seemed faintly ridiculous, and even a bit offensive, that you should take the stance you do.

Now, let's get back to your sloppy etymology.

You said

quote:


I did a quick etymology search. The preliminary result is that wife is essentially a very old term for pussy. I'd appreciate help in proving or disapproving that.


Note that you asked for help in proving or disproving your rather bold assertion.

You've scooted into google and spotted that "some proposed" roots bring the word back to pussy. When the word "proposed" is used in this context it is intended to signal that there is some debate. You cannot go from there to saying that the word in question is "essentially" a very old term for pussy.

So let's go to a real fucking boffin... Anatoly Liberman one of the world's top etymologists.

quote:


As could be expected, some people hoped to find the etymon of wife in a word for the woman’s genitals. A neuter noun holding out some promise turned up only in Tocharian, which is not good for this etymology, because wife, as noted, had limited currency even in Germanic. In Tocharian B it sounded kwipe and meant “shame place,” with reference to “penis,” whereas Tocharian A kip meant “mother’s shame body,” so either “vulva” or “womb.” Secure Tocharian cognates of even Common Germanic words are not too many, and, if the Tocharian noun were related to the protoform of wife, it is almost unimaginable that this word would not have turned up somewhere between Asia Minor and Medieval Germania. Also, as can be seen, neither kwipe nor kip meant directly “woman’s genitals.” However, this etymology, like all the previous ones, found a few distinguished supporters.


So, that's helped, I hope, to show that the assertion that the word wife is essentially a very old term for pussy is incorrect and that, at best, you could assert that "some people claim that the word wife is a very old term for pussy"


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Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/9/2013 2:29:09 AM   
leonine


Posts: 409
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From: [email protected]
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

I did a quick etymology search. The preliminary result is that wife is essentially a very old term for pussy. I'd appreciate help in proving or disapproving that.

In Anglo-Saxon, "man" was a gender neutral term roughly equivalent to "person," and the sexes were commonly distinguished by the terms "wipman ond wifman," literally "person who bears arms and person who weaves."

"Man" was also used to mean a sworn follower or contractee. Under the more patriarchial Norman regime where women were excluded from such legal authority, "man" became implicitly masculine. Both "wife" and "woman" were derived from "wifman."


< Message edited by leonine -- 3/9/2013 2:34:11 AM >

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Leo9


Gonna pack in my hand, pick up on a piece of land and build myself a cabin in the woods.
It's there I'm gonna stay, until there comes a day when this old world starts a-changing for the good.
- James Taylor

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/9/2013 2:52:19 AM   
leonine


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From: [email protected]
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

There are plenty of vanilla as can be couples out there that would be offended as hell at the suggestion that the husband is presumably the powerful one in a marriage. Honestly, fuck anyone who doesn't get why that's offensive or who "doesn't see what the big deal is."

As an old school feminist, I can see what's offending you while thinking you need to back off and remember where you are. This is BDSM-land where we use words our own way.

If someone posted that he wanted to be a Daddy's little girl and be spanked and fucked, and you had a particular concern over child abuse, you might well get a nasty jolt from the thought. But common sense would tell you that the OP wasn't talking about RL child abuse, and there was no point berating him as if he was.


_____________________________

Leo9


Gonna pack in my hand, pick up on a piece of land and build myself a cabin in the woods.
It's there I'm gonna stay, until there comes a day when this old world starts a-changing for the good.
- James Taylor

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/9/2013 4:06:49 AM   
leonine


Posts: 409
Joined: 11/3/2009
From: [email protected]
Status: offline 		In my last D/s marriage I took care of the house and the baby simply because my wife could get well paid work (and couldn't cook) and I could work from home. The fact that I had her supper on the table when she came home didn't make me less her Master to either of us; it was just the most practical way to run the household.

My mother stayed at home all her married life, but none of us thought of it as any sort of inferior role. She ran a big house efficiently even when my father was rebuilding half of it, mended clothes for three active kids, helped out at school, worked as a charity volunteer and political campaigner, served as a Town Councilor and eventually as Mayor. (They had to invent the term "Lady Mayor" for her because they'd never had one before.) She worked as hard and carried as much responsibility as my father, and we all knew it. So I don't have any reason to see either "wife" or "homemaker" as belittling terms.

_____________________________

Leo9


Gonna pack in my hand, pick up on a piece of land and build myself a cabin in the woods.
It's there I'm gonna stay, until there comes a day when this old world starts a-changing for the good.
- James Taylor

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/9/2013 6:45:12 AM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

I did not call you ridiculous, I said that it seemed faintly ridiculous, and even a bit offensive, that you should take the stance you do.

Now, let's get back to your sloppy etymology.

You said

quote:


I did a quick etymology search. The preliminary result is that wife is essentially a very old term for pussy. I'd appreciate help in proving or disapproving that.


Note that you asked for help in proving or disproving your rather bold assertion.

You've scooted into google and spotted that "some proposed" roots bring the word back to pussy. When the word "proposed" is used in this context it is intended to signal that there is some debate. You cannot go from there to saying that the word in question is "essentially" a very old term for pussy.

So let's go to a real fucking boffin... Anatoly Liberman one of the world's top etymologists.

quote:


As could be expected, some people hoped to find the etymon of wife in a word for the woman’s genitals. A neuter noun holding out some promise turned up only in Tocharian, which is not good for this etymology, because wife, as noted, had limited currency even in Germanic. In Tocharian B it sounded kwipe and meant “shame place,” with reference to “penis,” whereas Tocharian A kip meant “mother’s shame body,” so either “vulva” or “womb.” Secure Tocharian cognates of even Common Germanic words are not too many, and, if the Tocharian noun were related to the protoform of wife, it is almost unimaginable that this word would not have turned up somewhere between Asia Minor and Medieval Germania. Also, as can be seen, neither kwipe nor kip meant directly “woman’s genitals.” However, this etymology, like all the previous ones, found a few distinguished supporters.


So, that's helped, I hope, to show that the assertion that the word wife is essentially a very old term for pussy is incorrect and that, at best, you could assert that "some people claim that the word wife is a very old term for pussy"




I'm not sure why you have to be such a jerk about it.

I didn't "scoot into Google." I got my definition from Merriam Webster, and from the start I qualified the statement fully and expressed the utmost reservations about accepting it as true.

Are you also disputing the fact that "husband" translates at least in part to "master of the house"? So, even under the most innocuous meaning of "wife," the meaning is that "my wife is my woman" and "my husband is my master of the house." Do you not see how that could rub some women the wrong way these days?


< Message edited by Baroana -- 3/9/2013 6:47:53 AM >

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/9/2013 6:46:13 AM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leonine


quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

There are plenty of vanilla as can be couples out there that would be offended as hell at the suggestion that the husband is presumably the powerful one in a marriage. Honestly, fuck anyone who doesn't get why that's offensive or who "doesn't see what the big deal is."

As an old school feminist, I can see what's offending you while thinking you need to back off and remember where you are. This is BDSM-land where we use words our own way.

If someone posted that he wanted to be a Daddy's little girl and be spanked and fucked, and you had a particular concern over child abuse, you might well get a nasty jolt from the thought. But common sense would tell you that the OP wasn't talking about RL child abuse, and there was no point berating him as if he was.




Thank you for being an old school feminist. I think we need more of those, despite the twisted definition that detractors have tried assign to the word.

To the other part, I have to say that no, I do not think it's right or healthy that sexist/racist/etc. undertones simply get a free pass because it's BDSM.

< Message edited by Baroana -- 3/9/2013 6:48:26 AM >

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/9/2013 7:21:57 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS
Then perhaps "house husband" would be a better term. I find your use of "wife" to denote "submissive" to be HIGHLY offensive ...... Like many women, I--as a WIFE--have enjoyed a higher income than My vanilla husband....... So, yeah..."wife" is not the term you are looking for if you mean "stay-at-home submissive".


Actually, it IS the term he is looking for. The "male wife" concept is an old and longstanding part of the BDSM world. The OP didn't just make it up. So why are you ladies attacking him on it? I just don't get this.

I do understand why you are offended. You are happy to be wives, and you don't like the word being used in any light other than the wholesome way in which you see it. But that's simply not the way things work in the BDSM world. There are MANY words that get commandeered for our unique usage.

Is the term "Daddy Dom" offensive to real fathers? Is "mommy Domme" offensive to mothers? Is "Slave" offensive to the ancestors of former slaves? Is "sissy maid" offensive to housekeepers? Is the BDSM idea of a "1950's household" offensive to those who actually lived during the 1950's? The answer to each of these questions is obviously "yes, it may be offensive to some". But they are the terms that we use, and it's unlikely that will change. It's certainly not going to change simply because it offends you.

BDSM has an amazing potential to offend. Most fathers would be incredibly offended if they discovered that their daughters served as "slaves" in M/s dynamic. Many African-Americans (like myself) dislike race play. You obviously dislike the term "male wife". And that's fine. But you can't tell someone that they are using the wrong term, when it's actually the term that has been established by the BDSM community at large.

People in M/s relationships are not going to stop using the term "slave" simply because some people find it uncomfortable.

So while I respect and acknowledge your (and Baronana's) right to be offended, it just seems like a fruitless battle. The OP did not create the term. It's been around for a long time, and it isn't going away.

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RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/9/2013 7:25:53 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leonine

As an old school feminist, I can see what's offending you while thinking you need to back off and remember where you are. This is BDSM-land where we use words our own way.

If someone posted that he wanted to be a Daddy's little girl and be spanked and fucked, and you had a particular concern over child abuse, you might well get a nasty jolt from the thought. But common sense would tell you that the OP wasn't talking about RL child abuse, and there was no point berating him as if he was.



Thank you! That was my point exactly. We use terms in BDSM that really shouldn't be compared to their vanilla usage. By doing so, it opens the door to myriad opportunities to be offended.

_____________________________

"The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers".
-Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: does Anyone seek a male wife?? - 3/9/2013 7:39:18 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana
To the other part, I have to say that no, I do not think it's right or healthy that sexist/racist/etc. undertones simply get a free pass because it's BDSM.


Okay. That's fair. And I can completely understand your point there.

Fight the good fight. That's your right. But I fear that the BDSM community isn't likely to make changes in their generally accepted terminology.

Frankly, when I think of the totality of BDSM, "male wife" would be waaaaaaaaay down the list of the things that I think the world-at-large would find most offensive. If you talked to the average vanilla person, I'm sure they would take offense at about 10,000 of the activities that we kinksters participate in on a regular basis, long before they would ever identify "male wife" as one of our greatest atrocities. That doesn't mean that your feelings are invalid. They are obviously very real to you. But if the BDSM community were put on trial, I think that calling people "male wives" would be seen as a lesser crime. IMO, cutting one another, spanking one another, tying one another up, pissing on one another, forcing people to eat feces, pouring hot wax on one another, locking one another in animal cages, signing "slave contracts", public humiliation, verbal abuse, and body modification are all things that I could see a senator calling a congressional hearing to address (much like they've done for rap music and video game violence). I really doubt that "male wife" would even be mentioned during that hearing. But of course, that's just my opinion.


< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 3/9/2013 7:44:54 AM >

_____________________________

"The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers".
-Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead

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