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I don't know what I should do now... - 6/21/2006 7:57:18 PM

Posts: 26
Joined: 6/21/2006
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I moved 1200 miles to be with a Mistress where I thought I had found my lifetime home. Like I had with my first 2 Mistresses who I had spent 15 years of my life with, I fought against being a slave, like always. I needed a firm hand, but did not have it, and while at work discovered that all of the finances that I thought had been handled were totally screwed up, and I had no choice but to cancel credit cards and do other things, I am still on the road during this time, and do not know what I should do. How can I learn to trust again, and how can I be able to completely submit? I really need some good advice, please, pretty please.

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/21/2006 8:04:11 PM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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If you've got internet access and the time to post on a forum like this...all is not lost.

Get your finances straight, get the credit reports cleaned up, talk to advisors if you need to- make sure your life is stable and secure before even considering a relationship.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to abeautifullife)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/21/2006 8:06:36 PM

Posts: 26
Joined: 6/21/2006
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Thank you very much. It is people like yourself that let me know I can recover in time. Thank you., Ma'am

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/21/2006 8:08:47 PM

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear abeautifullife, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Oh dear. Well, I would think that you have been 'financially' had lad.
You were taken to the financial cleaners.

Only thoughts I have at the moment is, to contact your creditors and have the whole mess put on hold and work with them to restore some sense of financial balance.

If you feel that the "mistress" did non-consensual financial deeds with your funds, she is civil and criminal liable. However, if you turned it over to her, you allowed her to bleed your finances dry. However, you will need the burden of proof. If in your name and not a joint account, you might win the case. Same with forged signatures, etc.

Next time you might put your funds into a "Financial Trust" to which nobody can touch it but you. Automatic deposits and the like.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to abeautifullife)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/21/2006 8:11:10 PM

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Joined: 6/21/2006
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Thank you LadyHugs, Ma'am. Your kindness is certainly not as great as your wisdom, but I am grateful surely for both. Thank you for your advice.

(in reply to LadyHugs)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/21/2006 8:18:13 PM

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
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beautiful,

I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties. No matter what you do to correct your financial situation, I can offer advice on an emotional level:

Don't assume everyone is going to do what this woman did. You mention that you've served in very good circumstances in the past (I believe you mentioned two mistresses) so this newest situation isn't the norm for you. You probably do have very good judgement overall, so realize your mistake this time and go forward.

LEARN from this though! Were you more careful about finances in the first two relationships and got complacent with this one? If not, fine, perhaps this person is/was a con artist. At the very least maybe she simply isn't a good money manager... Talk to her and explain how your skills with money would help you both. The relationship may not be dead, just injured for a time.

Unfortunately there are prideful people who think that holding the control means holding the money... in the long run, you might have some very hard choices ahead of you and I wish you luck.

(in reply to abeautifullife)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/21/2006 8:21:58 PM

Posts: 26
Joined: 6/21/2006
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Thank you Mistress Calandra, Ma'am. You are very wise and extremely gentle with me, and I am so grateful for all of the information you were willing to share with me. Thank you so very much.

(in reply to Calandra)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/21/2006 8:29:31 PM

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Joined: 11/22/2004
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I see you're in charlotte... there are a couple of local groups you could go to for local support while you assess your situation...

By the way, if you're ever close to Atlanta, let me know and we'll do lunch!

(in reply to abeautifullife)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/21/2006 8:45:39 PM

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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You might want to evaluate why you felt attracted to someone who lived so far away and were willing to move for.

How well did you and could you really know her when you were 1200 miles apart? How many weekend or week visits did you have before you agreed to move? Did you feel like the choice was move now or no relationship?

When you can figure out what were the signals you missed that probably would have said "this is unlikely to work" you should be able to avoid them better in the future.

For now, just get your life together and don't consider another Ds relationship for a while until you are more firmly planted and can say to a future potential dominant "no, I'm not moving yet, we need more time" OR you can turn to closer dominants.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to abeautifullife)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/21/2006 8:53:09 PM

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Joined: 6/21/2006
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Thank You, Mistress Calandra. Being able to eat lunch even in Your presence sounds like a very fun and exciting thing! It would be an honor, and on me, of course! Thank You, Ma'am!

(in reply to Calandra)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/21/2006 8:56:25 PM

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Joined: 6/21/2006
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Thank You, Mistress Tammy Jo. I am certain that You are very experienced with control, which is something that I am now out of. I am so very, very grateful for your extremely importaant advice. Thank You, Ma'am.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/22/2006 4:59:41 AM

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: abeautifullife

I moved 1200 miles to be with a Mistress where I thought I had found my lifetime home. Like I had with my first 2 Mistresses who I had spent 15 years of my life with, I fought against being a slave, like always. I needed a firm hand, but did not have it, and while at work discovered that all of the finances that I thought had been handled were totally screwed up, and I had no choice but to cancel credit cards and do other things, I am still on the road during this time, and do not know what I should do. How can I learn to trust again, and how can I be able to completely submit? I really need some good advice, please, pretty please.

Your profile states that you are a switch, so I am curious how you can totally submit on the level of a slave.

Best of luck to you as you recover,
Julie

(in reply to abeautifullife)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/22/2006 6:14:58 AM

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn
Your profile states that you are a switch, so I am curious how you can totally submit on the level of a slave.

Best of luck to you as you recover,
Julie

For me "switch" entails: slave, dominant, top, bottom, service top, friend, slut and whore

A switch can be a slave.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/22/2006 6:53:57 AM

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Joined: 9/26/2004
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First of all, get you straight--your profile screams to be used--you state you are submissive with a dominant side, then the closing line is "I will move for the right person--no problem"---like Cher in Moonstruck when she slapped Nicholas Cage---"snap out of it"!

Plant your feet and get your life straight---when I see someone with a relo comment like that, I feel they sell themselves too cheaply and open the door to be used--you are after all a human being with needs and wants---and IMHEO, you bring nothing to a Dominant if you at first cannnot take basic care of yourself--as LA said, if you have internet access you aren't at the bottom of the food chain, however, I'd be focused on getting life straight rather than posting AND trusting yourself first---after that all else will follow----In due course.

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 6/22/2006 6:54:47 AM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to abeautifullife)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/22/2006 6:59:03 AM

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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Get yourself back on track hon and never, ever let anyone control your finances but you. I've heard of too many slaves/subs being taken advantage of by Dom/mes who claim to be *handling* their money for them only to find out these people can't even take care of themselves. Just because someone is Dominant doesn't make them a financial wizard.

Good luck and I hope you meet someone who truly will have your best interests at heart.

~Lashra

(in reply to MHOO314)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/22/2006 7:13:01 AM

Posts: 26
Joined: 6/21/2006
Status: offline

Dear LadyJulieAnn,

I have always been a slave, no one lets my dominant side come out because it interferes with my submission, but it is always there, and if I ever had a chance to have my own slave, you can believe they would understand that they would do as I say, when I wanted it, and in the manner I decided, Ma'am. You are extremely smart, Ma'am, I would never be able to escape from your discipline. Am I in trouble, Ma'am?

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/22/2006 7:18:13 AM

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: abeautifullife
You are extremely smart, Ma'am, I would never be able to escape from your discipline. Am I in trouble, Ma'am?

*snort* You wish.

You don't want to change yourself, you're happy going along as the clueless victim.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to abeautifullife)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/22/2006 7:19:15 AM

Posts: 26
Joined: 6/21/2006
Status: offline

Dear Mistress MH00314, You are obviously a very experienced dominant, and I am sure that at Your feet would be a wonderful place to be! Thank you so very much

(in reply to MHOO314)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/22/2006 9:15:10 AM

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Hi abeautiful life,
Sorry to hear about your situation. If you are just sort of drifting, you can always come to Southern California and be my live in houseboy. You wouldn't have any freedom at all and never get any sexual release, or intimacy, but you'd be treated like a real slave! Friends and relatives would have to go - you'd be locked up in a dark cave for all they knew (I bet you'd like that!).

When can you be here? I am a firm and demanding Mistress! I hope you like strap ons!

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to abeautifullife)

RE: I don't know what I should do now... - 6/22/2006 11:40:57 AM

Posts: 26
Joined: 6/21/2006
Status: offline

Dear Lucky Albatross, Ma'am,

I am very very sorry for being sassy with you. No I do not like tthis at all, Ma'am, I do not even like this Ma'am. Please forgive me Ma'am, pretty please?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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