RE: ALittle Bit Of Inspiration For All In The Lifestyle

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RE: ALittle Bit Of Inspiration For All In The Lifestyle - 3/14/2013 1:14:51 PM

peppermint

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressBrenda1
I am happy to see at least 2 people wrote somethng nice instead of the BASHING she is getting here from alot of people who she has no issues with.I call that UNFAIR! but it is just my own opinion.

I have a "thing" about people who try to tell me that kinky people are better or more something or in some way superior to other people. In reality kinky people come in all flavors. There are good people. There are bad people. Some are beautiful inside and out and some are just ugly. There are those with high self esteem as well as those with low esteem.

Kinky people are like any group of people. I wouldn't call pointing this out bashing the OP. It's just pointing out that people are people whether kinky or not.

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RE: ALittle Bit Of Inspiration For All In The Lifestyle - 3/14/2013 1:40:03 PM

AthenaSurrenders

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Nicely put peppermint.

Like many social groups, sometimes kinky people like to make themselves out to be (as a group) more accepting, less judgmental, more 'insert positive trait here' when in reality, people are just people. I've never felt looked down on or judged by the vanilla community, either on a personal level or as a group. While I agree there is nothing wrong with encouraging people to be themselves and not let others get them down, that's a general life lesson and nothing to do with kink. And since it didn't seem to be in response to anything in particular, it could be seen by some people as an outpouring of self-congratulatory sentiments - oh we're so enlightened, ignore those boring 'vanilla people'.

In truth, I don't even like the term 'vanilla' because it propagates this weird myth that we are somehow fundamentally different from people who don't do kink. I don't like the idea that activities are divided into 'vanilla' and 'non vanilla'. And I certainly don't like the subtext that is sometimes present that vanilla is somehow 'less'. For all you hear people talking about being looked down upon and judged by 'vanillas' I see a lot of that going in the opposite direction. It all seems a bit like high school, sitting round with my mosher friends at age 15 talking about how those trendy girls are like, so totally sheep, and we're like, so totally not.

While there have been cases where people have been genuinely harassed for their private kink life, those are relatively few and far between (especially in our corner of the world) in comparison to the number of people who like to make big statements about persecution, as though it is a badge of honour.

Anyway, some people seemed to enjoy and appreciate the post and some disliked it - that's the nature of discussion. I certainly didn't see any bashing going on - disagreement, yes, and comments on the odd style of typing - but if you think this is bashing.... well...

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RE: ALittle Bit Of Inspiration For All In The Lifestyle - 3/14/2013 2:05:42 PM

Kaliko

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Joined: 9/25/2010
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FR

I'm going to make a sock and agree with myself.

Listen,...it's not that I don't like to hear (read) kind words. But something here is off.

Perhaps I'm wrong.

< Message edited by Kaliko -- 3/14/2013 2:15:52 PM >

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RE: ALittle Bit Of Inspiration For All In The Lifestyle - 3/14/2013 4:53:20 PM

Kaliko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I have a "thing" about people who try to tell me that kinky people are better or more something or in some way superior to other people. In reality kinky people come in all flavors. There are good people. There are bad people. Some are beautiful inside and out and some are just ugly. There are those with high self esteem as well as those with low esteem.

Kinky people are like any group of people. I wouldn't call pointing this out bashing the OP. It's just pointing out that people are people whether kinky or not.

Others have mentioned this as well, but I don't see where in her post that she says that kinky people are superior or different.

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RE: ALittle Bit Of Inspiration For All In The Lifestyle - 3/14/2013 7:56:57 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Once again, you are not a special snowflake because you are into BDSM. You are not special in any way, shape or form. You just like it. Just like vanilla people like vanilla stuff.

Frankly, I thought his post was rather nice.

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Post #: 25

RE: ALittle Bit Of Inspiration For All In The Lifestyle - 3/14/2013 8:15:16 PM

sexyred1

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It may have been the intent, to be nice, but I find it pretentious to have people come here acting like there is something inherently special about being in the "lifestyle". You are not special because you are into BDSM, sorry.

Also, I have never been judged adversely by vanilla people, at least to my face.

There are always some random posters who come here and make proclaimations designed to help newbies.

However, since the post put forth the false notion of being "special" by being into kink, I replied the way I did.

Everyone is special unto themselves, as I said...regardless of what they are into.

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Post #: 26

RE: ALittle Bit Of Inspiration For All In The Lifestyle - 3/14/2013 9:30:35 PM

Charles6682

Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
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My biggest critic has always been my brother.We have complete opposite personalities.While I have always respected women,my brother is still with the "good old boy" menality.Basically,he thinks women should know their "role".He has always had some smart ass remark to say about me being submissive.Of course,he has almost had some smartass thing to say with anybody he disagrees with.I've heard all the moronic jokes.I don't usually tell people I am a submissive unless I get asked,which isn't often.My brother will be the kind of guy who would tell neightbors and friends that I am a submissie,like somehow they will get shocked and disgusted.If anything,when people do find out,they are curious and even interested.Most people don't care.But my brother still to this day continues still makes stupid jokes.I can chalk it up to him just being a brother or chalk it up to him just being an ass-hole.It just annoys me if anything.I guess I am intolerant of intolerant people.

< Message edited by Charles6682 -- 3/14/2013 9:31:50 PM >

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Post #: 27

RE: ALittle Bit Of Inspiration For All In The Lifestyle - 3/15/2013 5:10:05 AM

JeffBC

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From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
Anyway, some people seemed to enjoy and appreciate the post and some disliked it - that's the nature of discussion. I certainly didn't see any bashing going on -

Well, to be fair, when I read the profile my 2nd response was pretty "bashy" but I thought better of it. I can't say that my thoughts have changed much. The original post isn't exactly a gem either starting right out with formatting and going from there. I think her post sits in judgement of Vanilla people and her profile sits in judgement of kinky people.

This is the sort of person that if they told me to plan for the sun coming up tomorrow I'd want a second opinion.

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RE: ALittle Bit Of Inspiration For All In The Lifestyle - 3/15/2013 5:53:29 PM

RemoteUser

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Generic words rarely inspire me, although it is nice to see honest sentiment. Maybe it is because the intent is to move a throng, not an individual, and I'm just not big enough to be a throng (not even in a thong).

What moves me most is a personal sharing from one individual to another. Perhaps I'm a poignancy junkie.

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Post #: 29