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Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/17/2013 4:24:53 AM

mikedusade

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Is D/s just manifestation of under lying mental heath issues ?

In my experience this would appear to be the case . Perhaps I am attracted to those with such issues ?

But the vast majority of subs ive met have proved to have had mental health issues and personality disorders

Some more serious and toxic than others

But all leading to make long term relationships with them impossible

Post #: 1

RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/17/2013 4:33:11 AM

freedomdwarf1

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Mental health issues??

I very much doubt it.
There are many in the BDSM community that lead perfectly ordinary lives outside of BDSM.
Some are dominant, some are submissive, some switch - all to varying degrees.
Perhaps you have picked the wrong subs or just been unlucky.

Different personality traits, yes.

(in reply to mikedusade)

Post #: 2

RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/17/2013 4:37:43 AM

tazzygirl

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Ya know. If one or two have a problem, its usually them. If many who are around you have a problem, its usually you.

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RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/17/2013 5:01:32 AM

lizi

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I think it's you, I haven't encountered a trend towards illness in the mental health of the people I've met interested in BDSM. Perhaps you can do some deep soul searching on why you seem drawn to that type of partner.

That being said, you have an illegal activity mentioned in your journal that needs to be removed as it's against the TOS of this site even though you've used a common work around way to mention it.

(in reply to mikedusade)

Post #: 4

RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/17/2013 5:32:50 AM

thezeppo

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I can see how being into BDSM might lead one to have mental or emotional issues, particularly if you tend towards the introverted and aren't particularly good at sharing (me for example!). It is quite easy to feel all alone sometimes, which is why its good that there are websites like this one. I don't think you can really claim a definitive link between the two though, and I think there is plenty of empirical evidence on this site that people into BDSM are not predisposed to mental health issues. Alright, some evidence. Well, maybe this sites not the best example XD

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 5

RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/17/2013 6:09:51 AM

searching4mysir

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quote:

That being said, you have an illegal activity mentioned in your journal that needs to be removed as it's against the TOS of this site even though you've used a common work around way to mention it.

Don't you know, Lord DomlyDom is a speshul snowflake who doesn't bother to read the terms he signed and thinks rules don't apply to him.

OP - It isn't the BDSM that makes you mentally ill, it is that you get off on bestiality that makes you mentally ill. One has nothing to do with the other.

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 3/17/2013 6:10:57 AM >

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RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/17/2013 7:13:13 AM

mikedusade

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Thanks to the self appointed moderators who pointed out my mistake ( now removed)

Oh yes i have looked into my self, and my past ,my childhood to understand why i may be attracted to such women

With experience and some education in personality disorders I now have a great understanding in this and as to why . ( my father has strong NPD traits)

Im not claiming i dont have issues Im very aware i do

Im just putting the premis that D/s may be a symptom of a mental health issue

based on my experiences

(in reply to searching4mysir)

Post #: 7

RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/17/2013 1:28:42 PM

DesFIP

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You said it yourself, you are attracted to them. Usually we are attracted to what is familiar, meaning family of origin. We seek someone with the same issues we could not fix when young, hoping this time it will come out right. It won't.

Fix yourself. Once you become healthy you won't be attracted to unhealthy people.

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RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/17/2013 2:04:39 PM

mikedusade

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Yes totally agree and I have done so over the past 18 months .

The point of my question was to hopefully start a sensible debate about mental health and D/s relationships

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 9

RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/17/2013 2:23:23 PM

littlewonder

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Hard to start a sensible discussion when your thread has stated you think everyone in bdsm is mentally unhealthy.

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RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/17/2013 4:14:19 PM

kiwisub12

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Good heavens! The poor OP! I can't believe that he has had such bad luck in subs.

Now, me, i have had such good luck in doms that i'm on my second one, long term, and am engaged. So for me, nope - no connnection with mental health issues for me.

Since the OP had taken care of his family of origin issues, perhaps the next batch of subs he meets will be mentally normal... Perhaps.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 11

RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/17/2013 10:52:02 PM

peppermint

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mikedusade

Im just putting the premis that D/s may be a symptom of a mental health issue

based on my experiences

May I ask what mental health issue you think you have? Have you seen a professional for a diagnosis?

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(in reply to mikedusade)

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RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/18/2013 11:43:51 AM

egern

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Surveys have found that BDSM people as a group are, in fact, slightly less prone to mental health problems than the general population.

However, they are also, as a group, more self-aware than the general population. This may lead to a higher level of self-reported emotional problems, abusive backgrounds et cetera. This may lead people to conclude that there is a higher incidence of such problems.

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 13

RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/18/2013 3:03:37 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Hard to start a sensible discussion when your thread has stated you think everyone in bdsm is mentally unhealthy.

Bingo!

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(in reply to littlewonder)

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RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/18/2013 3:45:33 PM

alhamdullilah

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The question posed is one of a distinctly black and white nature (which I must confess always puts me in mind of Borderline Personality disorder, whether or not appropriately so,) but those kinds of questions are often doomed from the outset. What is there, after all, in nature that is truly black and white?

Of course, some of the time one's predisposition to a D/s, M/s, BDSM or any alternative lifestyle is a manifestation of their own dysfunction... sometimes, it would have to be! Anyone who dares to answer this question from the standpoint of certainty or science would strike me as presuming to know more than is possible. I will offer this of myself: I have mental/emotional issues, elements of dysfunction within my personality; I'll add with confidence that my interest in living as a submissive is one of the most healthy elements of my nature.

It's not a bad question to ask, though one has to be awfully careful how to go about asking it and, in such an environment, would be wise to do so cupped, if you get my meaning. I'm watching this Jodi Arias trial and listening to all these references to "deviant sexuality" and can't help wondering where that line is drawn and, if rightly so, by whom?! Who says what is and isn't deviance? The DSM isn't God, for God's sake! So, it's a worthy topic here, no matter how many times we visit it, I believe.

I still say, for myself and as relates to all of my fetishes... I think... *grins* - deviance from the apparent universal norm is not, in and of itself, dysfunction. I don't even believe the apparent universal norm is genuinely the norm. So, of course you will have an overlapping of mental issues and BDSM-bent personalities. The correlation is meaningless until and if ever we break it all down, remove all the external factors, etc.

One of the few things I know for certain about myself is that I take pleasure in submission. In knowing my own nature, lies a purity, a sanity I can't claim in other areas and aspects of my life.

Thanks for tolerating my lengthy reply. I, like, never post.

_____________________________

At any given time, it would seem that what's on my mind is heavier on one side than on the other, entirely explaining my mental imbalance.

(in reply to mikedusade)

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RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/18/2013 4:36:57 PM

Charles6682

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From: Saint Pete,FL
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I have studying the issue of psychology and BDSM for years.I am curious how mental health and BDSM relate to each other.I had a good friend who had a degree in psychology.I felt very comfortable talking to her about my sexuality in ways I never felt like talking with anyone else.She didn't think their was anything wrong with me.The DSM does talk about different sexual disorders in better details,some disorders depend on the nature of the persons mindset.

S&M is mentioned in the DSM.It basically just states as long as a persons day to day living isn't interupted,its not really a mental illness.I will grant you there are exceptions when S&M can be considered a mental illness.Clearly,when S&M becomes a problem in a persons day to day life,then they may have a proble.

If someone with fetishes does have a mental illness,seeking professional help may not be a bad idea.I am not a doctor and I only have my opinions.I will say however,find a Dr or Therapist who is understanding of BDSM.I tried talking to a therapist who didn't quite agree with my way of live.Her rational wa that I should stop because soceity does not approve of it.That sounds like "guilt therapy" and only seeks to make the person seem even more of a weirdo.I was fortunate enough to have a good friend who was experienced in mental health and also a very understanding,open minded person.

I tried reading a book on BDSM with a "Sigmund Freud" mindset.That book left me with more questions than answers.Books like that can get confusing.I tried reading more modern day books on mental health and BDSM with much better results.Plus,with the invention of the internet,we now have information ready at the tip of out fingertips now.

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(in reply to alhamdullilah)

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RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/18/2013 8:13:53 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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Additionally, the op thinks because people here admit to their disorders, that there is a higher incidence.

However, I would speculate that we are healthier for that. We get diagnosed and treated. People who don't get diagnosed and treated aren't necessarily healthy, all too often they are in denial.

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(in reply to Charles6682)

Post #: 17

RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/18/2013 8:40:38 PM

Charles6682

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From: Saint Pete,FL
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DesFIP,I agree 100%.Well said.People who get diagnosed and get treated are fine.Its getting diagnosed and not doing anything about it that creates trouble.To just assume because someone is into BDSM,they must have a mental illness.Even if somebody does have a mental illness,that shouldn't prevent from engaging in BDSM.As long as its Safe,Sane and Consensual.As long as the diagnosed seek proper mental health treatment.

< Message edited by Charles6682 -- 3/18/2013 8:41:11 PM >

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RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/19/2013 4:16:42 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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Or refusing to go in for diagnosis "because anyone who sees a psychologist must be crazy". Not going doesn't mean you don't have it any more than not going in to get a lump biopsied doesn't mean you don't have cancer. It just means you aren't going to get it treated and then go on with your life.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Charles6682)

Post #: 19

RE: Mental Health & BDSM ? - 3/25/2013 5:31:22 AM

RumpusParable

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Count me as another who hasn't seen any tendency towards mental health issues being higher in those I've known to be kinky in some way.

Me, yeah, I have mental health issues... but I was kinky for a looong time before and mine aren't a result of that kink; they're a result of bad things happening during military service.

But, when you're looking for it, you'll see it. I'm sure if I had stated "no, but yes I am kinky and mentally ill only that you'd have put the two together as related somehow... and it's a Very Common thing. This theory of BDSM being related to mental illness is trotted out regularly and is a common culture trope. People see what they want to see.

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(in reply to DesFIP)

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