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When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/25/2013 8:22:17 AM

absolutchocolat

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Check out this Rhodes Scholar:

Dad shares nude photos of daughter as punishment

Way to go, genius.

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/25/2013 8:37:55 AM

theshytype

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Wow. Besides the obvious issue, what is he doing with her phone anyway?

ETA: It's a personal stance of mine that a boyfriend would not have any right to discipline my children. This mother may feel differently and he could have been in the picture for a long time for all I know (hopefully no longer is). It's crap like this that makes me thankful I'm not single - my kids already have a good father that I can trust.

< Message edited by theshytype -- 3/25/2013 9:12:01 AM >

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/25/2013 8:42:50 AM

defiantbadgirl

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Sounds like somebody is looking at a lifetime sentence on the sex offender list. What's with this public shaming craze anyway? It interferes with the anti-bullying movement. Anyone who thinks public shaming won't result in peer bullying is delusional. And once bullying starts, it can continue for years.

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/25/2013 8:58:39 AM

absolutchocolat

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He probably confiscated it.

Also, I hate when these goofy parents say that these kinds of punishments are "last resort". Bullshit. I remember when my sister and I would act out, my parents would tell us we weren't allowed to go outside, nor were we allowed to watch TV or play with toys. It was either read a book, clean the house, or write an apology letter and appeal to the mercy of the court, lol. Needless to say, we were like angels after that, for the most part.

quote:

ORIGINAL: theshytype

Wow. Besides the obvious issue, what is he doing with her phone anyway?

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/25/2013 8:58:58 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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Especially when it takes the form of a naked photograph which potentially is now all over the internet. Chances are at least one of the 38 people he sent it to were unethical enough to forward it or post it online.

WTF was he thinking? I can't even imagine the train of thought behind this. There's no way he thought he was disciplining her, this was spite, pure and simple.

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/25/2013 9:01:12 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat

Check out this Rhodes Scholar:

Dad shares nude photos of daughter as punishment

Way to go, genius.

Him I'd bust for promoting child porn.

Way different case than the original.

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/25/2013 9:11:21 AM

LillyBoPeep

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Wooooooooow what a brain cramp......

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/25/2013 10:03:49 AM

SeekingTrinity

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~FRing it~

Wow, talk about a real douchbag idiot! All I can say is thank God my parents were never down for public humiliation as a discipline tool.
So you want to teach your girlfriend's daughter about the dangers of sexting by sexually exploiting her?!?!?! Makes total sense...NOT!

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/25/2013 10:05:34 AM

LafayetteLady

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My thoughts as well. Explaining this could have worked.

When my son was younger (about 15), we were visiting a family friend and I took his phone to show her a picture of his girlfriend (he knew I had it, funnily enough). As I was scrolling through looking for the girlfriend, I found some shots that made my jaw drop. We had a talk about the dangers of sending things like this through text messages. He was mortified I found them, and I certainly was not happy to have seen them.

The other situation I have no problem with the punishment for the kid, even though you and I tend to be in the minority, LP.

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/25/2013 6:50:02 PM

WebWanderer

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Why am I not surprised to see that it happened in Arizona? If we got rid of Arizona, Georgia, Texas and Florida, the percentage of bizarre news stories would drop by a huge margin...

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/25/2013 7:25:38 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat

He probably confiscated it.

Also, I hate when these goofy parents say that these kinds of punishments are "last resort". Bullshit. I remember when my sister and I would act out, my parents would tell us we weren't allowed to go outside, nor were we allowed to watch TV or play with toys. It was either read a book, clean the house, or write an apology letter and appeal to the mercy of the court, lol. Needless to say, we were like angels after that, for the most part.

quote:

ORIGINAL: theshytype

Wow. Besides the obvious issue, what is he doing with her phone anyway?

You realize those don't work when you have a child who is defiant to the point of having to be put in therapy where she leaves and refuses to go back and she is no better and you have tried every other way possible, right? If not, be glad you have never had a child like this. Some children have many more problems and not from having bad parents but because some children just have radical personalities.

As for the whole thread, the guy will get on the sex offender list. Nuff said. I have no problem with public shaming if it's deserved but not at the point of child pornography.

And the whole anti-bullying stance....

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/25/2013 7:28:42 PM

LafayetteLady

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Of course these people don't know what it is to try to raise a difficult child, and by yourself at that. Don't you realize they are all perfect parents, raising amazing children who got straight A's, scholarships to Ivy League schools, excelled at sports, helped little old ladies across the street, volunteered with the special ed kids and never drank or smoke behind their child's back? Oh yea, and they are so honest you wouldn't believe it! LOL

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/25/2013 7:30:51 PM

FrostedFlake

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UN- I think you know the rest.

quote:

FYI : Jan 30, 2012

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/25/2013 7:30:57 PM

littlewonder

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heh. I could only ever dream of such.

Like I said, they may want to be extremely thankful then for having such perfect children or being such perfect children with normal parents or any parent at all, who taught them something, anything and cared that they should be quiet and behave, etc....

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 3/25/2013 7:31:41 PM >

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/25/2013 9:28:42 PM

theshytype

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Did I miss something? Was there a thread where people were discussing their perfect parenting skills or perfect children?

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/26/2013 9:07:06 AM

LafayetteLady

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The majority of people are saying how when they or their children did something wrong they were grounded, lost privileges, etc. and they *knew* never to repeat that behavior. It is an ongoing trend. These people obviously have no clue what it is like to have children who don't respond to that.

As for this post, the mother's boyfriend was so out of line, he will get what he deserves. Frankly, I have doubts that he was actually trying to show this teenage girl what could happen with her having nude photos on her phone. Rather, I think he somehow came across it, sent it out to friends, and was using the "trying to teach her a lesson" as a means to attempt to avoid prosecution.

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/26/2013 10:22:11 AM

slvemike4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat

Check out this Rhodes Scholar:

Dad shares nude photos of daughter as punishment

Way to go, genius.

The guy is a major league asshole.
The tittle of the op prompted me to wonder when exactly "public shaming" goes right ?

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/26/2013 10:30:34 AM

slvemike4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

heh. I could only ever dream of such.

Like I said, they may want to be extremely thankful then for having such perfect children or being such perfect children with normal parents or any parent at all, who taught them something, anything and cared that they should be quiet and behave, etc....

Wow,I never needed to resort to "public shaming" of my child(I never laid my hand on my child in anger,never laid a hand on my child to "discipline" him)so he was perfect ?
Far from it,he was a normal child who I,as an adult,was able to reason with,point out where he went off the rails, address the faults in behavior and move on......and oh yeah I did it as a single father.
That child turned out fine and I imagine,when the time comes will be able to draw on more than a few lessons from his own childhood when he raises my grandchildren ;-)
Perfection will not be part of the expectations !

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/26/2013 10:30:56 AM

defiantbadgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

And the whole anti-bullying stance....

If public humiliation isn't damaging, why are human service workers bound by CONFIDENTIALITY LAWS? How would you feel a counselor you were seeing publically humiliated you? Do you think it's any less damaging to someone that's younger than you?

I hope this asshat enjoys spending his life on the sex offender list for distributing child pornography.

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RE: When public shaming of your kid goes wrong! - 3/26/2013 11:27:48 AM

absolutchocolat

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My sister and I were not perfect kids, but one thing we did is respect our parents. And the reason why we respected them is because they didn't do shit like make us wear embarrassing signs or other public shaming tactics. We were talked to and reasoned with, and when that didn't work, we were spanked or had privileges taken away.

I'm not sure why people take it personally, but I in no way, shape or form attacked anyone's parenting style. I talked about what works for me and mine.

I was a stepmom to three very difficult children. One was having sex and doing drugs, one threw fits at bedtime, and one hated my guts for "breaking up his parents". At the end of my two-plus years with them, none of them acted out because I took the time to understand where the pain came from instead of being frustrated that they were being defiant. It took many nights of talking, holding them, and testing boundaries before they trusted me. I'm young, nowhere near perfect as a mom, but patience was key.

So, if that public shaming shit works for you, by all means. From my personal experience, kids don't forget feeling humiliated by their parents.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

You realize those don't work when you have a child who is defiant to the point of having to be put in therapy where she leaves and refuses to go back and she is no better and you have tried every other way possible, right? If not, be glad you have never had a child like this. Some children have many more problems and not from having bad parents but because some children just have radical personalities.

As for the whole thread, the guy will get on the sex offender list. Nuff said. I have no problem with public shaming if it's deserved but not at the point of child pornography.

And the whole anti-bullying stance....

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