How To Give A Cat A Pill

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How To Give A Cat A Pill - 6/23/2006 2:22:19 PM

littlesubjess

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/2/2006
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1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding
a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and
gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding-pill-in right hand. As cat opens
mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve-pill-from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left Arm
and repeat process.
3. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws
tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push-pill to back of mouth with
right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
4. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear
paws,
ignore growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one
hand
while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop-pill-down ruler and rub cat's
throat
vigorously.
5. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another-pill-from foil wrap. Make note to
buy
new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases
from
hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
6. Wrap cat in a large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with cat's head just
visible from below armpit. Put-pill-in end of a drinking straw, force cat's
mouth
open with pencil and blow down straw.
7. Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink a beer to take
away
the taste. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from the carpet
with
soap and water.
8. Tie the little angel's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind
tightly
to leg of the dining table. Find heavy pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into
mouth
followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertical
and
pour 2 pints of water down cat's throat to wash down-pill.
9. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the A&E, sit quietly
while
doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes-pill-from your eye. Call
furniture shop
on way home to order a new table.
10. Arrange for RSPCA to collect the mutant cat from hell and ring local pet
shop to
see whether they have any hamsters.

LOLOLOLOL I JUST FOUND THIS HILARIOUS

jess xxx

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RE: How To Give A Cat A Pill - 6/23/2006 2:27:33 PM

enigmabrat

Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline

LOL

I find this very funny because my parents were in the pet bussyness (breading grooming training boarding cats and dogs and such) So i grew up around this stuff.. my mom is the only one I ever met that could give any animal a pill... she was just always good with animals... if you wanted ME to give a cat a pill youd have to remove all of its teeth and claws first!!! :)

< Message edited by enigmabrat -- 6/23/2006 2:28:13 PM >

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RE: How To Give A Cat A Pill - 6/23/2006 3:28:27 PM

BreakMeShakeMe

Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
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My mom has owned as many as 32 cats when she was a kid... and has had no less than 2 in house all her life. Right now with the death of one about a year ago... she's down to 4. Tasha has been with her 14 years this past June 1st. She's a long haired perssian. So I just has to send this to my mom.... thank you so much for the laughs... an remembering the times I've watched mom give pills... or asked me to help....roflmao...

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RE: How To Give A Cat A Pill - 6/23/2006 3:57:22 PM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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Very very funny!!!........having had animals all my life and had to give pills and shots to all of them at one time or another....its tricky. Giving a cat a pill I can do by myself, giving a cat a shot.........tricky

Thanks for the giggle!!

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RE: How To Give A Cat A Pill - 6/23/2006 5:33:57 PM

enigmabrat

Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
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LOL the best is my Charlie (4 yo toy poodle)
He learned our rutine we put the pill down hs throate then we rub his neck waiot a few secs if it doesnt come back up then we leave him alone so he figured this out and last time he held the pill in his mouth and waited and when we put him down thinking he swollowed it he spit it back out!!! (giggles) damn dogs too smart!!

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

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Post #: 5

RE: How To Give A Cat A Pill - 7/6/2006 12:09:39 PM

Sub03

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Joined: 4/30/2005
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