RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public?

Page: << < prev 3 4 5 [6] 7 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 3:44:26 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

public displays of affection that go past a line of good taste and discretion

What is the line, who defines it, you or me?

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to hizgeorgiapeach)

Profile

Post #: 101

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 6:09:30 AM

cupidringmybelle

Posts: 7
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sephisurrender3d

As to the post about parents who sue the schools and how its their fault the educational system suck... How about a school that has a teacher that calls the African American children street and project kids, and admits to allowing things to get out of hand because she doesnt know what to do.. Or a principal and guidence councilor who berate a child with documented medical problems till He is crying so hard He almost hyper ventilates, but as soon as they see the parent its all sweetness..This same school being sued in the past for not giving kids with disabilities the education they deserve because they would rather sweep them under the rug or push them off to another school.... Or how about said principal saying your child should be put in a life skills program because He has issues...? Said child has ADHD and is NOT mentally retarded and is capable of learning and advancing into society same as any other child could and would.. The only thing is He may need speech therapy and alittle extra time to do work... Not a whole lot to ask of a school system where we pay our taxes now is?

bows out before tempers flare..

well wishes to all..

sephi

Sephi, my temper isn't flaring. <G>

I agree, there are situations such as you have described. I, too, have a family member who is special needs (physically), and his parents (my brother and sister-in-law) have had to go 'head-to-head' with the school system to make sure he gets the same education that other children have. But I can assure you of this, if he causes disruption or misbehaves and the school decides on a disciplinary action, my brother is backing the school up, not running to them demanding that he be allowed to act as he wishes just because of his disability.

What I am referring to are parents who make no restrictions on their child's behavior, and when they get to school the child thinks the same rules apply there. When they finally have to face up to the consequences, Mommy and Daddy are there throwing bigger tantrums than the child, demanding that the school system is wrong in making them conform to any sort of behavioral standards. Teachers spend the majority of their time dealing with these disruptive students when the time should really be spent teaching our children. And I see this EVERYWHERE. The teachers are basically reduced to being our child's babysitters for 6-8 hours a day instead of the teachers they wanted to be. Children with no consequences for their bad behavior turn into adults with no respect for themselves nor anyone else, IMO. And that still boils down to mainly the parent's responsibility.

Cupid

(in reply to sephisurrender3d)

Profile

Post #: 102

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 7:10:11 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

Maybe it's just me but I think the best cure for ADHD is the old fashion way, with a quick slap across the face and a "You better be paying attention."

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to cupidringmybelle)

Profile

Post #: 103

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 7:16:16 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

Believe me when i say as a former school teacher, that would not work at school, not an keep one's job.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Profile

Post #: 104

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 7:32:08 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

Ah, but I did say the old fashion way, did I not? They were doing this back when I was a child so I know they were doing this back when you were a child. But now a days it's easier to blame someone else then to take responsibility for what you're (generic) not doing to improve things.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Profile

Post #: 105

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 7:40:29 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

lol, yes you did. i also happen to have niece who really does have ADHD, and when she is on medication, she is a joy to be around, when she is not, i would really like to slap her some times.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Profile

Post #: 106

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 7:59:20 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

I, personally, think ADHD was invented for parents who lacked the ability to control their kids. Back in the day it was mothers who were medicated (or heavily drinking) in order to deal with life. Now they instead medicate their children. It's just a faceless thing to blame, "My boy dropped out.", he has ADHD; "My child stole candy.", it was ADHD that made him do it; "My daughter got knocked up.", she has ADHD. Quick!! Medicate the rest of them before it happens to more. So, they medicate their child so they can handle them and when they become adults what do you get? People that never learned to deal with emotions or know right from wrong or that their actions have consequences because they were on mind altering drugs their entire life.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Profile

Post #: 107

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 8:03:17 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

While i will not disagree, that ADHD has become the scapegoat of choice in some cases, i will disagree with the blanket statement, both as a former professional teacher and as someone who is related to someone who is truly affected by it. However, i am not saying that you are not entitled to your opinion, just that i am disagreeing with it.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Profile

Post #: 108

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 8:29:18 AM

Sasy

Posts: 1387
Joined: 7/5/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline

Well as the mother of an extreme ADHD child, I dont belive it is a scapegoat .. I have known since the birth of this child She was different ... Everything had to be done at the same time everyday or I paid dearly for it .... A rain storm during our normal walk time (she was less than 6 months) Would cause me grief for days .I have tried several different drugs out of desperation to get her an education ( her being sent home every day at 9;30 wasnt conducive to her learning) It is hard to get her to understand consequences or to follow sequnces even if she does it everyday.
I have recently found that she needs to be set to tasks that are extremely tedious such as untagling chains or xmas lights for that matter and she learns through things that are real ( reading biographical or instructional, geograghics) I find if she has a way to expend the energy not physical that she becomes much more focused and less embarasssing in public.One thing tho is I will not let her make some one elses dinner etc miserable I will leave with her

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Profile

Post #: 109

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 8:34:18 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RexLongBeach

The one thing that's been chapping my hide lately is folks talking in movies. I know, I know, I'm old fashioned that way, but I got to the theatre for the experience of the movie. It's just not the same with the yakkety yakking that goes on if you're in a theatre that is more than 15% full.

It's so bad that people figure it's ok to talk now, even during live music/dance performances. I work a lot of hours... getting to these events is a big deal and I look forward to it. It's frustrating to have them trashed by people who view these venues as just another place to party.

Rex

G'day Rex,
I agree about the movies which is why I rarely go and prefer to wait to get the DVD. Then at least I can pause it to grab a coffee of head to the dunny. I can smoke if I want as well so the advantages out weigh the pleasure of watchig something on the big screen and without all the kids noise too.. Not to mention my favourite part .. Special effects and bonus material..

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to RexLongBeach)

Profile

Post #: 110

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 8:39:26 AM

sephisurrender3d

Posts: 37
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

You may not believe in ADHD , but i have 2 children out of 4 that have it as do i.. It is not a matter of lack of discapline as my Master and i do discapline our children... ADHD is a chemical problem in the brain that causes the brain tissue to missfire if you will...My son has ADHD and a speech delay of over a year and a half.. He is shy for the most part, very emotional , hyper in the things He does like.. He is on meds so that He can attend to tasks in school and have the same education that the other kids get... My daughter has ADHD and without her meds she can not grasp even the alphabet she failed kindergarden twice and summer school twice before the school final did as i asked and tested her for learning delays.. Now my daughter with her meds and alittle extra time to read and help has mastered the alphabet , her numbers and passed from 1st grade to 2nd...

I do agree that ADHD can and has been used as a scape goat of parents, teachers and schools .. Though there are children who really do have ADHD and suffer because no one picks up that these so called bad kids are crying out for help.. These kids before being diagnosed may show signs of frustration, talking alot, fighting, getting out of their seats... All symtoms of not being able to focus , frustrations, anger at themselves...As a parent with ADHD im easily distracted, forget what im doing, frustrated when i can not understand things, angry when i need more time to figure things out that a normal person can do in a snap...

Before jumping to judge get all the facts on ADHD from professionals not web sites.. ADHD exists just like many other diseases and disorders...

sephi

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Profile

Post #: 111

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 11:20:50 AM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

My son has ADHD. The meds made it worse, for they affected his sleep patterns, eating habits and caused extreme mood swings. Once i changed his nutrition, diet and cut out most refined sugars, high sodium foods, and color additives, his overall energy became more managable. i also have been able to take him completely off the meds, (which started with Aderall in the first grade, then went to Strattera) and have him on a holistically based formula called BioFocus. i also have him on a natural suppliment called Limbic Balance, combined with natural tryptofan suppliments during school days to help aid him in being more calm to sit through the day and focus. Both formulas are specially designed to help regulate the chemicals: seratonin, dopamine, norephinephrin, and adrenalin, plus many other nuero transmitters. He sleeps better (night terrors have considerably lessened) and he no longer has those dark circles under his eyes. His mood has improved, (less bouts of crying for no reason; feeling overly emotional), his anger is more under control. My son says he feels better and is so happy that i was able to help him. If you ask him about ADHD, he will say that sometimes he used to drive himself crazy and would be so very frustrated, not understanding why he couldn't be more calm and in control like most of his friends. There are still some areas where he just can't always help himself, but he and i have worked on techniques that have been able to give him some hope and also some courage and strength to overcome. Have you ever heard of the "Edison complex"? That is a beautiful way to describe in a positive light what many of our children live with, and give us frazzled parents a nicer way of viewing it, and feeling proud of our children for not only do they have the regular stress of life to deal with, but have added burdens, as do the parents. i have found tht some of the brightest children are those with ADD or other LD's. i have also found that these children are some of the most difficult to manage. In the end, i know that what i invest will pay off.

i am pretty much a mellow person, and am slow to judge or become annoyed by others antics i come across in public anyway. Nothing is that serious to me these days. i try to empathize as much as possible with what others deal with, concerning children and their behaviors, for i have lived through much of these same things myself. i often wonder if some of these folks forget that they themselves were kids once! Sometimes i believe that others were born as adults and never lived or saw the world through a childs eyes..*sigh i feel that loosing touch with the child in us is a sad thing too. Thank goodness i was blessed with much patience and understanding, or else, between the 4 of my children i may have ended up in the looney bin by now, or in jail for strangling a judgemental by stander offering their crass and ignorant judgements and opinions when not asked for! LOL! My ex, was not blessed with either, and that is part of the reason we are no longer together, for he could not handle, nor did he have the capability of understanding the responsibilities of raising children, especially those with special needs.

i believe that the doors of respect always swing both ways...it works best for me to offer a stressed out parent a helping hand first, rather than contribute to making another's already stressful situation that much harder. i never liked or paid much attention to those who offer that narrow in your face approach or think their way is the right way. The is no way to perfectly parent a child, not that i have seen. i always remember that i have been on both sides, and i feel better to offer comfort rather than criticisms. That is just me though, and this approach helps keeps me feeling more positive, and is also a good example for my children, for i do my best to live what i teach them through my word. i wish the best to all the parents of children who need a bit extra. *smile

~raiken

(in reply to sephisurrender3d)

Profile

Post #: 112

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 12:07:29 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I supose if we are talking about kids and young adults, I really get pissed off with the rudeness I see every time I go shopping. The other day I was shopping whilst Neets was having her hair done and on several occasions had kids (teenagers9 roughly shove me out of the way. Ok I can deal with that. One of the kids thought it was fun shoving a white haird old fart with a walking stick out of the way untill he landed on his arse with some force.. I just grinned and said "Opps". However when I have a situation where a kid having a tantrum deliberately kicked my stick from under me as i was turning so I staggered into a wall and his parents laughed them selves silly I was not impressed. One of the security guys asked me after he hauled kid and parents if I wanted to press caharges against the parents and all I asked was to be given 5 minutes with the whole family with no witnesses... Heh the parents dragging the kid almost ran out to their car and took off.... The Father knows that I know who he is, where he lives, works and drinks.. Me thinkest I shall be having a quiet very private ermm,, chat with him about manners in the next week or so....

I understand the problems with kids with disabilities including ADHD. I'm aware that some kids play on it to get what they want also. I do tend to avoid the shopping centers on school holidays and usually go to resturants and coffee shops where there are less families and kids. My choice not to have unruly kids and their bad behavious thrust into my space either physically or vocally.. I do however hold the parents to blaim for either allowing them to carry on like pork chops or if they are having attacks etc for taking therm ito a public area where the behaviour can be either offensive and/or upsetting to others... If folks have a problem with me leading a slave out in public because of the effect it may have on their childrenand I can accept that and take more care whene I leash a girl, they can also keep their children's bad behaviour out of my space too. I can meet society half way but never roll over and just give in...

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to raiken)

Profile

Post #: 113

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 12:18:56 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

I, personally, think ADHD was invented for parents who lacked the ability to control their kids. Back in the day it was mothers who were medicated (or heavily drinking) in order to deal with life. Now they instead medicate their children. It's just a faceless thing to blame, "My boy dropped out.", he has ADHD; "My child stole candy.", it was ADHD that made him do it; "My daughter got knocked up.", she has ADHD. Quick!! Medicate the rest of them before it happens to more. So, they medicate their child so they can handle them and when they become adults what do you get? People that never learned to deal with emotions or know right from wrong or that their actions have consequences because they were on mind altering drugs their entire life.

My brother was one of the first children diagnosed with ADHD, which used to be called hyperactivity disorder. His hands would tremble when he tried to do anything requiring fine motor skills unless he was taking Ritalin. My mom would take him off it on extended breaks and summer vacation even though he would not sit still because she feared of what it would do to him since not much was known. He couldn't learn to read until he was on it. This was all before I was born, but his hand trembles continued somewhat until he grew up.

They have taken pictures with MRI and given EEGs to determine if there is a difference in the brains of those diagnosed with ADD and ADHD, and there is. It isn;t witch doctor science.

It is strange to me that so many people smack their kids across the face when they say it is unsafe to do so in BDSM even when completely careful with not inflicting damage, and I am not a believer that all forms of corporeal punishment are bad mind you, I spanked my son when he was young at times, although I tend to wonder if I had another one if I would need to do so like I used to think I did.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Profile

Post #: 114

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 12:21:18 PM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

Just for the record, i was not saying that i don't believe in ADHD, i was saying just the opposite. i was also saying as a teacher, i have seen it used as a diagnosis when that was not really the issue.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Profile

Post #: 115

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 12:26:00 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Just for the record, i was not saying that i don't believe in ADHD, i was saying just the opposite. i was also saying as a teacher, i have seen it used as a diagnosis when that was not really the issue.

I know this is correct also, as my son's second grade teacher suggested he had ADD because he would crack jokes when he shouldn't.. he was going through a motor mouth stage and learning limits and boundaries.. he does not have AD or ADHD... so I understand your point. I think it is over diagnosed too, and if it wasn't for my brother I might not believe in it at all, but his symptoms were so physical it would be hard to ignore it.

I think that kids with mild ADD can be helped with coffee, like my best friend's daughter, instead of a high powered stimulant like ritalin.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Profile

Post #: 116

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 1:19:13 PM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

A lack of respect is the worst thing you will ever see in public - including on these boards. For example, one poster alludes to Liberals being loose and disrepectful. That is an opinion best kept under your hat - I could give you a million reasons why Conservative ideology is based on individualism rather than collective respect but there's a time and a place.

A lack of respect for other people is an indication of a lack of respect for yourself - and it is very unattractive.

NorthernGent

(in reply to agirl)

Profile

Post #: 117

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 8:51:25 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

9. People who don't know how to use the self-check machines.

I am fully capable of using a self-check machine.

But I am in a union, and I see the self-check machine as a device which caused that store to fire a bunch of people and install it to save the corporate hegemony those people's wages that they could support their family on.

Use it all you want, but I find it offensive that the general public go along with supporting that sort of corporate self-interest, especially since if the chips were down for you the corporate entity would probably not come to your aid.

My union's motto is "An injury to one is an injury to all."

Just me, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to feastie)

Profile

Post #: 118

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 8:58:49 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

9. People who don't know how to use the self-check machines.

I am fully capable of using a self-check machine.

But I am in a union, and I see the self-check machine as a device which caused that store to fire a bunch of people and install it to save the corporate hegemony those people's wages that they could support their family on.

Use it all you want, but I find it offensive that the general public go along with supporting that sort of corporate self-interest, especially since if the chips were down for you the corporate entity would probably not come to your aid.

My union's motto is "An injury to one is an injury to all."

Just me, etc.

Sinergy

Fire people? We can't get enough workers around here after the storm. Not to mention, these stores never have enough registers open, whether or not they have a self-check machine, even before the storm.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Sinergy)

Profile

Post #: 119

RE: What behaviour do you find offensive in public? - 7/14/2006 9:24:52 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

Fire people? We can't get enough workers around here after the storm. Not to mention, these stores never have enough registers open, whether or not they have a self-check machine, even before the storm.

Fair enough.

Please clarify for me why a multinational corporation worth billions of dollars internationally is unwilling to hire enough people to open up all their checker lines, allowing people to earn the money so their families can survive, during a time of scarcity in the employment market.

Despite what their PR Flacks say, it is not as if they cannot afford to hire more people to get the job done.

Just me, could be wrong, etc.

Sinergy

P.S. Despite what the news media presented, the supermarket strike two years ago was about the fact that Wal-Mart, a viciously non-union shop who pays just slightly more than mandated minimum wage, actively teaches their employees how to apply for government subsidies and medicare for low-income people, had announced they were planning to start selling groceries. So Albertson's, Vons, etc., tried to get the union to agree to not demand health care.

P.P.S. Amusingly enough, the government of the People's Republic of China, Wal-Mart's primary source for things to sell, refused to allow Wal-Mart to open stores in China because they objected to Wal-Mart's business practices and the way they treat their employees.

P.P.P.S. On a less positive note, the Governator vetoed a bill in California requiring employers to provide health care to their employees.

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to feastie)

Profile

Post #: 120