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RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 8:16:23 AM

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

And so you had to come along and add to it?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Dyfrynt)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 8:29:36 AM

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Good God its deja vu

We don't know her story and it certainly looks like SOME people trying to provoke her with judgment.

I think a lot of BDSM acts are wacked, what about the guy who had his wife in chains around his kids, they were married. Gess that's not crazy at all. OR people who cut each other, or beat each other, and have kids? Why do these things seem more okay?
ITs all honest, then its all okay? These threads never have a good ending. I think it seems mob like too, and some comments are just meant to be insulting and belittling. This happens each and every time someone is having an affair is mentioned. DO I advocate cheating, no, I don't. I have did it.

Poster, my advice is this, I wouldn't pursue this thread any longer, it will just become a show down. All the answers you need will come in their own due time. Best of luck in your decisions.

As I recall, you took a pretty glib attitude with your own children. Didn't hubby have issue with what you were doing? Couldn't that have turned upside down and wouldn't that have involved your children? You act as if these things we do are done around our children. Some may be... but many of us would take a stand against that as well. Divorce, marital problems, all affect children and cheaters can do great harm to their children.

Do not compare consenting adults agreeing to do things, children unaware with people that could hurt their children by way of marital discord or divorce once a spouse finds out they have been betrayed.

You can try to twist it... but it won't work.

The only twisting I see, is the mention I took a glib attitude toward my children. This is the story you twisted in your own head, because surely if I cheated, I couldn't possibly be a good mother. Reminds me of the crowd in the scarlet letter, casting judgment and making a person bad in all ways, noting others imperfections and sins, and steering away from looking at ones self. Surely, you could not be wrong, its not possible.
Bringing the posters profile into her question was for what reason? I am sure the response will be "So others will know what kind of person they are dealing with?" That was the excuse used by a select few, when anytime I would post for months on unrelated subjects, my thread would be brought up as a link, to make sure anyone I spoke to on here, saw what a vile human I was?
My situation changed and evolved, and it was thru kindness, patience, gentleness humbling, empathy, and spiritual growth, not by hardness, pushy, demeaning, belittling, taunting, input.

If this poster is developing an attitude, and begins acting "bat shit crazy" and does a bit of taunting herself. She has good reason.

She didn't ask for my advice, because I am not a Dom. so if she asked me to back off I would. I want to let her know, I am a woman who comes here, and I am not casting judgment on her. I see where she feels attacked.

I commend Focus for taking a role in seeing it and not being a bystander, being a man about it, even when he takes a hit for it.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to Rawni)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 9:00:00 AM

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472
Thank you for all your thoughts and words. I have met many subs and doms over my time on here that have had a lot of class but these ones have none. They lack everything I wouldn't want to be. I have been invited to group things by doms And there subs and paid many compliments. So as I said to the other Dom if they want to bring my life in it and other people cheating this and that then call all collar me people out cause theres a lot of them out there they just font put in profile. Do they own collar me. I think not or are they the police.

You're welcome. Now, please understand, I see some problems on your end. The most telling thing, to me, is how you're dealing with this thread. You keep telling people to stop talking, even though you have no power over them, so your commands are guaranteed to fail. To me, this indicates that you are either used to saying words with no content, or you believe that the world should somehow change just because you want it to. Both of those traits would be red flags to me. I'm interested in women who are grounded in reality, and who say what they mean and mean what they say.

It's never to early to start taking the high road. And why fight with people on the internet? It just makes you look bad.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 9:19:37 AM

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/13/2013
Status: offline

Why do any of you care. I won't be coming back on for any kind of advice or thoughts. You have definitely shun me away. I see the same individuals on each thread giving advice ranting and raving. You women never stop. Man that's why I've never got a long with any cause your all about attention and jealousy and competition. And this is in society in itself. I will let my sub friends and other friends in the bdsm world know how caddy you people are on these message boards.

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 9:24:05 AM

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Bringing the posters profile into her question was for what reason?

I can only speak for myself. Because families tend to pull attention away from other relationships.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 9:33:55 AM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
That's what's been happening? Numerous peoples independently expressing a similar opinion?

Kinda like sexyred's first "contribution" to this thread a coupla posts before yours? Independently addressing the topic as opposed to adding to a toxic pile-on at the OP?

Think I'll hafta agree with your opening sentence.... lol

Focus.

No problem with that. (The agreeing to disagree part.) I know it's what I'm doing. Personally, I've never hidden the fact that I have open disdain for folks who choose to cheat on their spouses. I have a personal theory that at least some poly folks, like Myself, actually have a lower opinion of people who cheat because we know it's possible to have multiple relationships without the lying and backstabbing that happens when people take the underhanded way about getting what they want.

Then again, I'm the same way about it from the non kink/non alternative lifestyle view. I wouldn't have married a military man if I didn't have the ability to keep My legs closed when he was deployed. Sadly, not everybody has that ability and what's important to them sexually outweighs things like honor and commitment. I'm just as harsh on the topic of cheating in the vanilla world as I am the kink one.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Focus50)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 9:40:57 AM

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

I just cant get my head around the belief that two people made a promise to each other.... and one is breaking that promise to be with me. Why on earth would I believe that he wouldnt lie to me in a heart beat when he would lie to his wife?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 9:46:11 AM

Posts: 6174
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472

Why do any of you care. I won't be coming back on for any kind of advice or thoughts. You have definitely shun me away. I see the same individuals on each thread giving advice ranting and raving. You women never stop. Man that's why I've never got a long with any cause your all about attention and jealousy and competition. And this is in society in itself. I will let my sub friends and other friends in the bdsm world know how caddy you people are on these message boards.

I thought I was nice......even kind. But do feel free to go fuck your self.

Bless your heart.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 9:50:31 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

And so you had to come along and add to it?

He didn't want to be too dyfrynt.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to tazzygirl)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 9:52:37 AM

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

Seems like he wanted to be catty as well.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to stef)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 10:08:46 AM

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472
I will let my sub friends and other friends in the bdsm world know how caddy you people are on these message boards.

As in the guy that carries your golf clubs? Or the car?

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 10:19:35 AM

Posts: 202
Joined: 4/19/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

And so you had to come along and add to it?

Wow Cubed! I'm adding to it by stating the obvious? I notice everyone avoided the question. What useful purpose is this thread achieving at this point?

_____________________________

Equal in Worth, just Not in Power.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 10:25:51 AM

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

In the end, its people having a discussion about the differences of how they see things. It may not serve a purpose to you, but it may serve a purpose to others.

I wasnt aware that we could only have a discussion if YOU feel it serves a purpose. Im sure you wont mind if I dont adhere to that philosophy.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Dyfrynt)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 10:34:57 AM

Posts: 202
Joined: 4/19/2011
Status: offline

Is that what we are doing here? Cause from where I sit all anyone is doing is firing the same accusations at the OP over and over again. If that is your idea of discussion, have at it. And yes you do have my permission. Big of me, huh.

_____________________________

Equal in Worth, just Not in Power.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 10:53:08 AM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt
Wow Cubed! I'm adding to it by stating the obvious? I notice everyone avoided the question. What useful purpose is this thread achieving at this point?

Expression of personal views. Just like every other thread on the boards.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Dyfrynt)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 10:54:51 AM

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

Actually, I did have a discussion with her. Or did that escape your notice?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Dyfrynt)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 10:56:19 AM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Good God its deja vu

We don't know her story and it certainly looks like SOME people trying to provoke her with judgment.

I think a lot of BDSM acts are wacked, what about the guy who had his wife in chains around his kids, they were married. Gess that's not crazy at all. OR people who cut each other, or beat each other, and have kids? Why do these things seem more okay?
ITs all honest, then its all okay? These threads never have a good ending. I think it seems mob like too, and some comments are just meant to be insulting and belittling. This happens each and every time someone is having an affair is mentioned. DO I advocate cheating, no, I don't. I have did it.

Poster, my advice is this, I wouldn't pursue this thread any longer, it will just become a show down. All the answers you need will come in their own due time. Best of luck in your decisions.

As I recall, you took a pretty glib attitude with your own children. Didn't hubby have issue with what you were doing? Couldn't that have turned upside down and wouldn't that have involved your children? You act as if these things we do are done around our children. Some may be... but many of us would take a stand against that as well. Divorce, marital problems, all affect children and cheaters can do great harm to their children.

Do not compare consenting adults agreeing to do things, children unaware with people that could hurt their children by way of marital discord or divorce once a spouse finds out they have been betrayed.

You can try to twist it... but it won't work.

The only twisting I see, is the mention I took a glib attitude toward my children. This is the story you twisted in your own head, because surely if I cheated, I couldn't possibly be a good mother. Reminds me of the crowd in the scarlet letter, casting judgment and making a person bad in all ways, noting others imperfections and sins, and steering away from looking at ones self. Surely, you could not be wrong, its not possible.
Bringing the posters profile into her question was for what reason? I am sure the response will be "So others will know what kind of person they are dealing with?" That was the excuse used by a select few, when anytime I would post for months on unrelated subjects, my thread would be brought up as a link, to make sure anyone I spoke to on here, saw what a vile human I was?
My situation changed and evolved, and it was thru kindness, patience, gentleness humbling, empathy, and spiritual growth, not by hardness, pushy, demeaning, belittling, taunting, input.

If this poster is developing an attitude, and begins acting "bat shit crazy" and does a bit of taunting herself. She has good reason.

She didn't ask for my advice, because I am not a Dom. so if she asked me to back off I would. I want to let her know, I am a woman who comes here, and I am not casting judgment on her. I see where she feels attacked.

I commend Focus for taking a role in seeing it and not being a bystander, being a man about it, even when he takes a hit for it.

The scarlet letter... ahh yes. For adultery. Was that what happened with you? Sorry honey, but it wasn't just a cheating thing with you, nor is it with the OP here. You cannot take a large picture and make it amount to one thing when there are many factors. First of all, adultery is something many come back from, but not before they admit how damaging it was to the people around them. You lied, you blamed your dom for being many things, using you, etc. and then came back and said he was the best ever and you were a true slave and anyone that did it differently than you did, was false. It wasn't adultery that got your cyber ass kicking started. Your husband found out... according to you and was not happy. The bottom line here is that your children could have been hurt by that marital disruption. I didn't say you were a bad parent, I said that cheating parents risk doing harm to innocent people.

People responded to your lying just as much as they did your cheating. They responded to all the story changes and the different positions you took, not just that you had a domly guy using you and then the victimization you went into. He was the bad guy, then the good guy and then he and your hubby and then and then and then.

So you can blame everyone else for what 'happened' to you when you brought it on yourself. Some were rather harsh with you and I can't speak for them and their reasons, but for me... your flip flopping cannot be compared to the OP of this thread. Two different stories and situations. You compared some of what we do in a manner in which I felt a response was warranted because you cannot compare consenting adults doing what they want to people risking the well being of their children when a cheating spouse is caught.

Are you saying that the children don't matter enough to consider and that it is okay to just glibly walk on without consideration and it is comparable to honest kinky actions between two willing adults? Had your husband not continued with you when he found out about your cheating and public display of your life and therefore his, your children would have been affected in some manner. Innocent bystanders caught up in what the adults in their lives did. No scarlet letter for you or anyone else... just a hey... wake up... what you do does matter and it could matter to those innocents in your life. If that makes me a bad person to point that out because I have worked with children in a place where adults harmed their lives and know the effect... then I will take that nasty little badge.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 11:09:50 AM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt

Is that what we are doing here? Cause from where I sit all anyone is doing is firing the same accusations at the OP over and over again. If that is your idea of discussion, have at it. And yes you do have my permission. Big of me, huh.

Actually, there have been times, rare maybe, but times when someone came in and learned to view things they hadn't thought about, learned that what they did had an effect and it wasn't just a bad guy, but their actions as well and did turn around from what some might call a useless debate, attack or something overdone. I am not saying that will happen here as that is unlikely, but it is what it is. A message board with many opinions, takes and variables. If you can only see what has happened here as an attack... that would be what you own. Your opinion. Is it only an attack or people sharing views? Sometimes life has to kick our ass before we see something. Could an ass kicking be of worth? Yes and no. Still it is your take that it is worthless and it just may be. However, it is what it is and you can take it for what it is worth. Whatever it is... it surely isn't one sided.

Does it need some worth? Apparently you think so. That doesn't mean that it is so. Scold away... why do you do it? You just joined the... club. lol

(in reply to Dyfrynt)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 1:50:45 PM

Posts: 202
Joined: 4/19/2011
Status: offline

There once was an author who wrote a book. It was about the largest and greatest ocean liner of her time. This British ship was steaming at breakneck speed on the North Atlantic in the cold dark hours of an April night, trying for a record run. It was called unsinkable. There were too few lifeboats. Her passengers included many of the famous and powerful of her time as well as the many folks in steerage hoping to find a new life in America.

That ship crashed into an iceberg, and quickly sank with the loss of almost everyone on board. The author named his ship The Titan. It was written in 1898. Fourteen years before the Titanic disaster.

He named his book Futility.

_____________________________

Equal in Worth, just Not in Power.

(in reply to Rawni)

RE: Dom is different - 6/12/2013 1:53:18 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

ROFL I get your point... but once again, it is what it is. People don't come here for one reason and one reason only or even with the best of intentions. Even me.

(in reply to Dyfrynt)

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