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RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 4:52:59 PM

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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quote:

How about we call that another of my personal idiosyncrasies - that it wasn't the OP who put her profile up for discussion on this board. That I don't see having a public profile is the same as having someone drag it onto an even more public discussion board for any and all to take cheap shots at.

Again, she opened the door. Vague comments and statements often make people go looking. Her profile is public, not hidden. Since she posted about "having complicated lives" it made people look.

quote:

But yeah - he's busy with his wife or kids etc - that's the most common and likely reason all these doms disappear for. That or that real life meet had a bit too much real life about it. You don't need to dissect anyone's personal profile to conclude that.

I really dont think anyone dissected her profile. Her kids are mentioned up front and quite plainly, her gripe in the OP was about his sudden lack of attention, and they both have "complicated lives". Not much to dissect there.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Focus50)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 5:21:31 PM

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Joined: 1/22/2012
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Good God its deja vu

We don't know her story and it certainly looks like SOME people trying to provoke her with judgment.

I think a lot of BDSM acts are wacked, what about the guy who had his wife in chains around his kids, they were married. Gess that's not crazy at all. OR people who cut each other, or beat each other, and have kids? Why do these things seem more okay?
ITs all honest, then its all okay? These threads never have a good ending. I think it seems mob like too, and some comments are just meant to be insulting and belittling. This happens each and every time someone is having an affair is mentioned. DO I advocate cheating, no, I don't. I have did it.

Poster, my advice is this, I wouldn't pursue this thread any longer, it will just become a show down. All the answers you need will come in their own due time. Best of luck in your decisions.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 5:29:36 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Good God its deja vu

We don't know her story and it certainly looks like SOME people trying to provoke her with judgment.

I think a lot of BDSM acts are wacked, what about the guy who had his wife in chains around his kids, they were married. Gess that's not crazy at all. OR people who cut each other, or beat each other, and have kids? Why do these things seem more okay?
ITs all honest, then its all okay? These threads never have a good ending. I think it seems mob like too, and some comments are just meant to be insulting and belittling. This happens each and every time someone is having an affair is mentioned. DO I advocate cheating, no, I don't. I have did it.

Poster, my advice is this, I wouldn't pursue this thread any longer, it will just become a show down. All the answers you need will come in their own due time. Best of luck in your decisions.

As I recall, you took a pretty glib attitude with your own children. Didn't hubby have issue with what you were doing? Couldn't that have turned upside down and wouldn't that have involved your children? You act as if these things we do are done around our children. Some may be... but many of us would take a stand against that as well. Divorce, marital problems, all affect children and cheaters can do great harm to their children.

Do not compare consenting adults agreeing to do things, children unaware with people that could hurt their children by way of marital discord or divorce once a spouse finds out they have been betrayed.

You can try to twist it... but it won't work.

< Message edited by Rawni -- 6/11/2013 5:32:11 PM >

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 5:39:18 PM

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I think a lot of BDSM acts are wacked, what about the guy who had his wife in chains around his kids, they were married. Guess that's not crazy at all. OR people who cut each other, or beat each other, and have kids? Why do these things seem more okay?
ITs all honest, then its all okay? These threads never have a good ending. I think it seems mob like too, and some comments are just meant to be insulting and belittling. This happens each and every time someone is having an affair is mentioned. DO I advocate cheating, no, I don't. I have did it.

Many on the chains thread said they were crazy. The problem here is context. At least for me. To complain that you are both in a relationship, but he suddenly isnt giving her the "time she wants"....

I really wanted to say something earlier... so Im going to say it now.. and let the chips fall where they may....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OP, what the fuck do you expect. He is married, you are married.... you are not each other's primary relationship. You are now enjoying the back seat. Not liking it? Get used to it.

Why is he doing it? Could be for many reasons.

He got his piece now he is done, he just doesnt know how to tell you.

He is feeling guilty and is avoiding you to avoid the guilt.

he is lining up his next piece but keeping you on the back burner for a "just in case I need some" event.

Could be a whole number of reasons why he is doing what he is doing. The only question you should be asking is... can you accept this. I will say, if your profile is any indication, you will learn how to accept being the "mistress" to the wife. I doubt its going to change, his situation. And, if you keep looking for married men, its going to continue to be a pattern, unless the man actually is capable of being honest with his wife and she doesnt mind. Rare, but it does happen.

So, in my way of thinking, you have 2 choices.

Accept that you will always be in the back seat, waiting.... you may be waiting for his time... his attention... or for him to break things off.. but you will be waiting.

Or move on.

The rest of the advice I would typically give isnt what you would want to hear. If you wish to know, then ask.... otherwise... take care of you.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:21:06 PM

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/13/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
But yeah - he's busy with his wife or kids etc - that's the most common and likely reason all these doms disappear for. [/font] [/size] [/color]

Agreed.

And, Cuteness, both Focus50 and I are men. Or, at least, we pretend to be men on the internet. You can never be 100% sure online. But our gender seems to matter to you, so I'm pointing it out.

Thank you both for your thoughts. As for those subs who keep commenting about cheating and this and that then tell all of collar me then cause every person I've ever spoke to is in that situation. You women are just awful. I have met a lot of other subs that are way more classy and respectful. And I will read the threads. Oh and so you know me and my Dom are going strong.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:24:16 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

Talk about class.

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:28:28 PM

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Joined: 4/13/2013
Status: offline

Thank you for all your thoughts and words. I have met many subs and doms over my time on here that have had a lot of class but these ones have none. They lack everything I wouldn't want to be. I have been invited to group things by doms And there subs and paid many compliments. So as I said to the other Dom if they want to bring my life in it and other people cheating this and that then call all collar me people out cause theres a lot of them out there they just font put in profile. Do they own collar me. I think not or are they the police.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:32:45 PM

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/13/2013
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Thank you for all your thoughts and words. I have met many subs and doms over my time on here that have had a lot of class but these ones have none. They lack everything I wouldn't want to be. I have been invited to group things by doms And there subs and paid many compliments. So as I said to the other Dom if they want to bring my life in it and other people cheating this and that then call all collar me people out cause theres a lot of them out there they just font put in profile. Do they own collar me. I think not or are they the police.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:34:26 PM

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Joined: 4/13/2013
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Yeah learned from the best

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:36:26 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

LOL hey cutie... you have been here two months, seeing or talking to a dom... your dom for two months and came to post about how you questioned things, etc. Now, you evaluate everyone because they brought up valid points of interest? lol

Your expertise is showing.

So because people have opinions and make comments that you don't like, you go to name calling? Now something else is showing.

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:39:58 PM

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/13/2013
Status: offline

Bring it on you all want talk about me, oh there's more subs just like me didn't you know we are big clan that are overcoming all of you. Since you say your a private group and we are not allowed. Please afraid that we might get some attention that your not. Oh that's right were not proper were bad please get over yourselves.

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:40:56 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

ROFLMAO

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:44:31 PM

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/13/2013
Status: offline

Nope I'm just playing the game all of you guys are doing pointing fingers. Making comments. I'm handling it. I just think you guys are some angry women.

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:46:01 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

One doesn't have to be angry to call a spade a spade.

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:47:37 PM

Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline

None of us are angry, simply taking the moral path.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:51:54 PM

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Since you say your a private group and we are not allowed.

What private group... who said you arent allowed?

quote:

Please afraid that we might get some attention that your not.

~grins

I get all the attention I need.

quote:

Oh that's right were not proper were bad please get over yourselves.

No clue what you are on to now.

Might be beneficial, and it would be helpful to keep the conversations straight, if you used the "Reply" or the "Quote" buttons at the top right of each post. Just click those words and it will allow you to respond directly to that post.

Im a bit confused because I cant tell who you are talking too.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 7:53:09 PM

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472

Nope I'm just playing the game all of you guys are doing pointing fingers. Making comments. I'm handling it. I just think you guys are some angry women.

What fingers? I didnt point any fingers. I gave you good, solid advice from someone who has been where you are now.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 8:39:50 PM

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/13/2013
Status: offline

The other ladies pretty much have said it in so many words and made a lot messed up comments about things that were inappropriate . To each it's own. I don't mind hearing good and bad but some things were not right.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 8:40:08 PM

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

So defend the newbies.. that don't offer consent to their spouses and families they could subject to various harmful things. That isn't fairness or a lack of judgment or even being nice to newbies. Since when has lying to someone and saying it is okay to risk harm to people, an okay thing to do?

It's a bit more complex than that as this thread is pretty much over-spill from what went down in the "Need Advice ASAP" thread. Many of the usual suspects here, too - though not you, for memory?

And then there's that other thing. That women don't miss too many opportunities to stick it to their own gender - esp a stranger and a newbie. Like the other thread....

Focus.

Unfair, Bro.

The OP alluded to the fact that she was cheating in the original post. That makes it part of the topic. She, you, or anybody else may not like the fact that people zoned in on that part, but it's in there.

Also, cheating has never been a topic that has gone over well here. Frankly, I've always found it to be one of the areas where men are taken to task far quicker than women. These boards are filled with folks who believe in concepts such as consent and not causing harm. I would be highly surprised if folks *didn't* express their opinions about an area that obviously violates both.

Eh? What's "unfair"?

I'm not talking about what others choose to respond to in the OP but the manner in which it's *collectively* going down.

Mob rule; feeding frenzy; pack attack; cliquishness; bandwagon - pick one. Or all.... <shrugs>

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Dom is different - 6/11/2013 8:41:47 PM

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

.

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

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