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Sex as exercise? - 6/16/2013 6:43:20 AM   
Mellissande


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I am not going to sugarcoat it. I am fat. I have a series of medical conditions that make weight loss near impossible. But, I am extremely motivated to lose the weight by whatever means necessary.

That being said, I have a congenital defect that causes extreme back pain which is only exacerbated by exercise. I hate the way pain killers make me feel so I am kind of at an impasse. Sometimes just washing half a sink of dishes will be enough to put me out of commission the next day. I know that rigorous sex can be great exercise and for me, I find it to be one of the only ways to balance out the pain of the physical activity with the pleasure instead of having to take painkillers.

Now that I have bored you with my story, here is my problem: my husband has an almost nil sex drive, and when we do have sex, it is only rigorous for a moment or two... Then he goes to sleep... I do not wish to cheat on my husband, please understand that I have no interest in a hook up. What I am thinking of is like a sex stand, something that I can build myself (I am a pretty good carpenter) that is maybe like a saddle stand affixed with a toy. Have any of you ever heard of something like this, or possibly made one, that may have the plans that I could look at to build one of my own?

Are there any kind of risks with something like this that I may not have considered?(aside from making sure it can withstand my weight) do you have any other ideas that I may be able to try? I get a small allowance from my husband's pay, so I cannot afford to buy a big expensive sex stool or anything that costs a lot. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, thank you very much for taking the time to help me.

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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/16/2013 9:37:21 AM   
searching4mysir


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Sex doesn't burn as many calories as you seem to think it does.

Have you tried swimming or water aerobics? The water will help to support the body putting less stress on your joints.

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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/16/2013 10:03:21 AM   
Mellissande


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That requires being in public in a swim suit in front of other people. I was wanting something that I can do in the privacy of my own home. And I am not talking about regular "here, lets sweat for a few seconds" kind of sex. I am talking about entire body involved, rigorous physical activity for at least an hour or more.

At my size, I burn 550 calories just from walking 2.3 miles in an hour. The kind of sex I am talking about does burn a lot of calories.

Edited because I missed some punctuation

< Message edited by Mellissande -- 6/16/2013 10:08:09 AM >


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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/16/2013 10:22:34 AM   
searching4mysir


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Sex is better for you than watching Downton Abbey … but only by 14 calories.

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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/16/2013 10:25:41 AM   
crazyml


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quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

Sex is better for you than watching Downton Abbey … but only by 14 calories.


Trust me, if me and Lady Mary ever got down and dirty, we'd be talking about a whole lot more calories than that!

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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/16/2013 11:32:51 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


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Vigorous exercise is painful unless you have sexual stimulation to cancel out the pain? Is that the gist of this?

If exercise aggravates your injury/medical condition, and you're masturbating so vigorously as to burn hundreds of calories, I would imagine that you're putting yourself at just as much risk of further injury by doing it. So perhaps you should run this plan by your doctor first?

My fear would be that you impale yourself on this contraption and then hurt your back, and can't get back off it again. So that's something to think about.

Couldn't you just get some ben wa balls and vibrating panties and do a low-impact exercise DVD? That would combine exercising and sexual stimulation in a safer (and cheaper, and less space-consuming) way.

Other than that - I agree with the others that sex doesn't burn as many calories as people think, but I guess any moving is better than no moving.

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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/16/2013 11:52:51 AM   
theRose4U


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Get with a physical therapist! I know when I blew my knee, severely strained my back & dislocated my shoulder in the same accident I was given these exercise band thing where I could build strength in my knee laying on my back with a "here's how to hold it" variation to avoid shoulder resistance. Then I had additional exercises isolating back & shoulder.
There are ways to exercise if you want to badly enough. Hell even a shake weight has the benefit of mentally motivating something resembling exercise. I agree a sex horse where up/down motion is required not only IS NOT good for your back, but any exercise benefits are purely mental.
They make portable pools available at any walmart or even a hot tub that could be prescribed to help the back (& found free to good home on craigslist). Leg lifts, crunches, arm raises even just upper body part of water aerobics is not only possible in private but more helpful than 20 minutes of "laying back thinking of england".

Hell even private sessions can be had with swim/aerobics instructors if you want them badly enough. In my city there are over 2000 public pools & a whopping 4 private that will make accomidation for private or semi-private lessons. The cost is still significantly less than that of complications, additional back deterioration/surgery or death from excess weight complications.
There is always an excuse for why weight, health, exercise can wait another day if you aren't dedicated to making long term change.

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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/16/2013 12:47:42 PM   
Mellissande


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Ok, this is a FR, trying to respond to everyone in one reply

I am not planning on this being my only source of exercise. I do plenty of other exercises as well. Mostly cycling on a recumbent bike. And resistance bands. I am not asking about other ways to do conventional exercise. I am asking if anyone has plans for the kind of thing I am talking about, or knows of a place that I can find them. Or if anyone knows of other things that can be sexual exercise. There will be no "laying on my back and thinking of England for 20 minutes" and I am not talking about laying in bed and idly masturbating. I want something that will work my legs, my abs, and be pleasurable at the same time.

I understand that I will have to be careful of my back, everything I do is careful because of my back. I always take precautions to ensure that if I hurt my back worse, I can get ahold of someone to help me.

The benwa balls with an exercise DVD is an idea, I will see about getting a pair, maybe with my cycling, that might be fun. I have never used Ben wa balls.


And therose4u, I don't know where you are getting me having excuses for why it can wait? That is an awful big assumption about someone who has already said that they are extremely dedicated to weight loss. I have lost almost 10% of my weight (near 40 lbs)in the last month. Which is a huge feat considering some of my medical problems. It doesn't take vigorous exercise to make my back hurt, my back hurts constantly and is made worse by any kind of physical activity, including standing and sitting. I am not looking for something to end the pain, or an excuse to not exercise because of the pain, I am asking for something that I can do which will bring pleasure along with the pain. Something that will feel good, serve a useful purpose and lessen the pain that I am going to be feeling whether or not I do it.

I hope that I have explained myself a little better in this reply.



Edited to add: I'd like to know where you live that people are giving away free hot tubs?? We rent and are not allowed to have a pool. Don't know if a mobile home is strong enough to hold a hot tub inside, and we are not allowed to build a fence outside. And again with a pool, a hot tub, private pool sessions, all of those are things that I cannot afford.

< Message edited by Mellissande -- 6/16/2013 12:53:44 PM >


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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/16/2013 2:02:38 PM   
Extravagasm


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Research the Sybian devices.

Another advantage you failed to mention is that sex releases all sorts of health chemicals within your body. Far and above exercise.

Earlier this year, two night intruders attempted to mug me in my home. No one produced any weapons. They had the advantage of surprise. I had the advantage of exercise, weights, yoga, and sex that morning. Though I was more than 20 years their senior, they were lucky to stay alive.

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The way to a Dom . . is to follow his karma, wallow in his grime, Swim in his heart.©

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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/16/2013 2:18:41 PM   
Mellissande


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Lol I hope they learned their lessons.

I will definitely look those up, thank you, I have never heard of them before

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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/16/2013 3:10:55 PM   
Mellissande


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Holy cow those things are expensive!! Lol but that is sort of what I am thinking of.

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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/16/2013 5:28:56 PM   
LafayetteLady


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I have a serious back injury, and nearly all activities hurt me as well, including sex. It didn't stop me from having sex, but I paid the price afterward as with anything else.

Swimming IS the best exercise for people with back problems, I'm sure your doctor can confirm that. I realize that you are self conscious about being seen in public in a swimsuit, but have you been to the beach or public pool and looked around? Trust me, there are some women there that will make you think you are svelte.

Losing 40 pounds in one month is not healthy in any way, and I'm sure your doctor has told you that losing weight will help with your back pain as well. So which is more important to you, people you don't know and don't care about seeing you in a swim suit or "being serious" about losing weight?


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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/16/2013 9:40:23 PM   
Ultimatetragedy


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The best way to lose weight is not with exercise bt through changing your diet. Instead of walking to burn 500 calories, why not just consume 5oo less calories a day? Get with a nutritionist and overhaul your eating habits...the benefits will exceed mere weight loss

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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/16/2013 10:30:08 PM   
LittleGirlHeart


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I think you would be better served by getting over your distaste with being seen in public in a swimsuit and find pool programs ,lead by someone who hopefully knows what they are doing when leading classes with ppl with back injuries.


I love being in the water, anyone who has an issue with fat people in swimsuits be damned. I won't let any haters stop me from what I enjoy.

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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/16/2013 10:44:46 PM   
LittleGirlHeart


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Why not? Not healthy as in pshhh 40 pounds you can do better than that, or to fast to soon?


When I was seriously working on my weight weigh, eating right, exercising, I went from 330 to 309 in less than a month. My Dr was over the moon proud and pleased and behind me 100 percent.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteL

Losing 40 pounds in one month is not healthy in any way,




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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/17/2013 1:30:30 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LittleGirlHeart

Why not? Not healthy as in pshhh 40 pounds you can do better than that, or to fast to soon?


When I was seriously working on my weight weigh, eating right, exercising, I went from 330 to 309 in less than a month. My Dr was over the moon proud and pleased and behind me 100 percent.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteL

Losing 40 pounds in one month is not healthy in any way,






There are a number of reasons it can be bad for you to lose weight quickly. It can put a lot of stress on your body and disrupt your hormones. Often a very rapid weight loss will not only be fat - you will lose lean mass too. This is obviously bad because you need your muscles and organs in order to be fit and healthy - not to mention your body uses up calories just keeping your lean tissues alive, so the more you lose, the less calories your body uses each day and the harder it is to lose weight in the long run.

A very rapid weight loss usually means someone is following a very restricted diet, which can be bad because they may not be taking in enough nutrition to keep their body healthy. It's not just about calories, we need fat and protein and all sorts of vitamins and minerals to keep us running smoothly and a drastic diet makes it unlikely that you're getting everything you need.

Drastic diets are also more likely to result in the weight being quickly re-gained than a slow and steady loss. They also don't teach you many of the skills you will need to keep the weight off in the long run - if you were doing a liquid shake diet, for example, you're learning nothing about nutrition and portion control.

There are times when the risks of being overweight are greater than the risks of rapid weight loss - for example, when a person needs life-saving surgery and is at risk from the anaesthetic. In those cases they might be put on a very low calorie diet to lose weight in the short term - these plans don't worry about long-term sustainability because the most important thing is to get them through that operation. People on drastic diets should be supervised by a doctor to make sure they are getting everything their body needs to prevent them getting really ill from it.

It's generally said that about 2lbs loss per week is about the maximum to avoid losing too much muscle mass but there are some exceptions and people who are very overweight can often safely lose a bit more than that in the beginning, but any way you look at it, 10lbs per week is a huge loss.

To lose 1lb of fat you must burn 3500 more calories that you eat (roughly, there is some debate on the specifics but as a guide). To put that into context, 3000 calories is what an average sized woman might burn running a marathon. Now the larger you are, the more calories your body needs just to be alive, but only your lean mass uses up calories - not your stored fat. So a 250lb body builder will use a lot more calories than a 250lb guy who is carrying a lot of excess fat. There are very few women who will burn over 3500 calories each day without very hard exercise. So it makes me think that in order to lose 40lbs she had to eat next to nothing (since she can't do vigorous exercise). Which means she is likely not getting the nutrients her body needs. It's still unlikely she has lost more than 1lb of fat EVERY DAY for a month, so it's likely some of that is muscle loss and water weight.

Anyway - I obviously know nothing about the OP and it's possible she did do this under doctor's supervision and/or through medical urgency. I am not a doctor and this may have been the best thing for her to do for her health. But that's why people say rapid loss is unhealthy.

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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/17/2013 3:39:51 AM   
LafayetteLady


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ultimatetragedy

The best way to lose weight is not with exercise bt through changing your diet. Instead of walking to burn 500 calories, why not just consume 5oo less calories a day? Get with a nutritionist and overhaul your eating habits...the benefits will exceed mere weight loss


For people with certain medical conditions, their eating may not be the problem with their weight.

By the way, the best way to lose weight is through a combination of diet AND exercise. It's not always how many calories you consume as it is what foods you eat. There is a big difference between 500 calories of twinkies vs. 500 calories of carrots.

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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/17/2013 7:55:11 AM   
vasya9


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady


quote:

ORIGINAL: Ultimatetragedy

The best way to lose weight is not with exercise bt through changing your diet. Instead of walking to burn 500 calories, why not just consume 5oo less calories a day? Get with a nutritionist and overhaul your eating habits...the benefits will exceed mere weight loss


For people with certain medical conditions, their eating may not be the problem with their weight.

By the way, the best way to lose weight is through a combination of diet AND exercise. It's not always how many calories you consume as it is what foods you eat. There is a big difference between 500 calories of twinkies vs. 500 calories of carrots.



Agreed, diet and exercise is the best way to go for weight loss. And overeating or eating the wrong things is almost always associated with weight gain. You need to get calories in to put on weight. A lot of medical conditions just exacerbate the weight gain.

To OP. I read a while back that the most calorie burning activity is making out. Although sex may burn a few more calories per hour (depends which source you look up), the average time a couple has sex is around 5-20 mins. A an average make-out session lasts much longer.


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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/17/2013 3:16:57 PM   
DesFIP


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A quick google search points up a YMCA within half an hour of your hometown. They probably have a pool and water exercise programs. Call and ask.

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RE: Sex as exercise? - 6/18/2013 6:31:03 AM   
Mellissande


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Ok, fast reply again.

Restricting my calories any more will, and has, hurt me. I have been informed by my nutritionist that I am not eating enough which is just causing my body to go into "starvation mode" turns out 500 or so calories a day isn't enough lol. I don't have trouble with eating too much, I have trouble being able to eat enough.

The rapid weight loss is because I am finally on the meds that I should be on for my medical conditions that have been stopping me from losing the weight. I do not have a vehicle nor the money for a membership at the YMCA.

My husband and I don't make out. He has nasty gingivitis that he refuses to take care of, so he gets no kisses. I am lucky if our sex lasts 2 minutes. And that includes "foreplay".

I have social anxiety and no friends to go with me to help it. My husband refuses to go with me to the gym or anywhere to work out.

I am seeing a dietician and a doctor, both of whom are happy with the weight loss and expect to see it slow down a bit soon, as my body gets used to the meds sorting out my hormones. I have severe PCOS, hirsutism, congenital adrenal hyperplasia, all of which make it much harder to have any kind of self esteem, especially in a bathing suit. And top it off with back pain that makes shaving a near impossible task.

Suffice it to say that I am only looking for something I can do in the privacy of my own home, please stop trying to make me feel like an idiot for not going to the public pools. I have my reasons. Please also understand that I am in the middle of nowhere Kansas and the only person I know here is my husband, who is gone 5 days a week with our only vehicle from 0530 until sometimes as late as 2000.

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