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RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:02:14 AM

hizgeorgiapeach

Posts: 1672
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quote:

ORIGINAL: candleTC
~edited to add: Ya know, i think if everyone of us look in the mirror today, we can all find ONE thing that each of us need to work on... find me ONE person around here that is perfectly happy with they way they look or doesn't haven't at least one flaw about themselves.... ~

Well, while I can't offer up any examples of those who are completely flawless, I CAN offer up examples of those (irrespective of size, hair color, weight, height, eye color, etc ad nauseum) who are perfectly happy with the way they look.

I have flaws, both physical and spiritual. After all, I'm human, and it's inherant to the species to carry various flaws. I'm content and happy with myself as I am, though, flaws and all. There are people who say I'm overweight or to thin, to short or to tall, to intelligent or not intelligent enough, should be brunette/blond/redhead as their preferences run, that my facial features are/aren't pleasing to them. Whoopdie shit. I like me as I am. When I find something about me that *I don't like, I change it until I DO like it. If "they" don't like some aspect of me - be it my weight, my height, my education level, my wit, my hair/eye color... whatever... .they can look elsewhere. Obviously I'm not holding a gun to their head to Force them to look at ME, nor the only person on the planet.

As for the OP - asking why BDSM attracts more Reubanesque folks (regardless of gender or orientation) is about as futile as asking why BDSM attracts more shallow, vain, self absorbed morons.

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(in reply to candleTC)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:04:07 AM

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From: N. Carolina
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I am both female, and overweight. However, I would have responded to this type of OP if it had been abut overweight men... older people... poor people.... rich people... tall people... dog lovers... cat lovers... heck, even SCAT lovers (way past my own hard limit).

I would like to present this for thought:

First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out--because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out--because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out--because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me--and there was no one left to speak out for me.
Pastor Martin Niemoller, Berlin, 1939.

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows
Here is an interesting observation - of all the people - both male and female who replied to this thread - which proportion are larger or overweight?
I think the observation is speaking quite well for itself and upholding the OP.

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(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:04:31 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows
Here is an interesting observation - of all the people - both male and female who replied to this thread - which proportion are larger or overweight?
I think the observation is speaking quite well for itself and upholding the OP.

Now is that because slimmer people do not respond? I do not think so - there are many responders here who respond to all threads... so what does that say?

Oh you brave, brave woman you!

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~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:07:52 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sixstrokes

darkinshadows raises an interesting point - as a result of my question i received various insults - why is direct abuse such as that quite in order but questions that make some uncomfortable not
whilst posting could i also state that i actually dont like bdsm people who fart in public places and that is a statement not a question - go on - shoot me

Ohhhhhhh, how dare you comment on farting? I'm outraged! I now must insult you on everything you've said!

BTW, i think there will be a line of people wanting to shoot you. Of course i won't be there, since i have to go pretend i'm not overweight.

(in reply to sixstrokes)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:12:50 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I would be interested to hear of whom else got a warning on this thread.

WOW i am really suprised that anyone got warned... For what reason???

The only thing the email I got said was "Knock off the flaming" and "Last warning". I replied asking which post was the flame but of course, got no response. I actually had to go back through this thread (it's the only one I posted to today) and see which of my statements was no longer there.

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RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:13:47 AM

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From: N. Carolina
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Because to single out a particular group/type of person, particularly a group that is outside the societal norms of what constitutes acceptability (and who moreover are frequently subject to various forms of personal, social, professional and other forms of rejection), and inquire why there are so many of them doing "x," does indeed imply a criticism. If you had asked the same question substituting "black" for "overweight" there would have been an outcry on their behalf. If you had asked it about "old" people, there would have been flames on behalf of our more aged people.

If your intent was to get into a nice philosophical/academic discussion about the possibilities, you really should have taken more time with your OP and put some thought into it to get the ball rolling. Since you did not bother (even if that *was* your intent), you really cannot then complain about the direction in which the ball rolled.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sixstrokes

darkinshadows raises an interesting point - as a result of my question i received various insults - why is direct abuse such as that quite in order but questions that make some uncomfortable not
whilst posting could i also state that i actually dont like bdsm people who fart in public places and that is a statement not a question - go on - shoot me

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(in reply to sixstrokes)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:15:16 AM

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From: N. Carolina
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Actually, I thought of drawing attention to whether he was making a correllary between overweight women and farting, but thought that was taking it a little too far ;)

quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

quote:

ORIGINAL: sixstrokes
darkinshadows raises an interesting point - as a result of my question i received various insults - why is direct abuse such as that quite in order but questions that make some uncomfortable not
whilst posting could i also state that i actually dont like bdsm people who fart in public places and that is a statement not a question - go on - shoot me

Ohhhhhhh, how dare you comment on farting? I'm outraged! I now must insult you on everything you've said!

_____________________________

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Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to litleone8620)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:15:37 AM

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I used to be a size two... I gained weight ON PURPOSE to keep away shallow assholes...

No correlation that I happen to be into BDSM (when i was a size two, AND now)

(in reply to GddssBella)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:17:48 AM

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This may be a little off-topic, but I suppose it's not that far off the track. Why is it when people start talking about their preferences, they end up making negative comments about other people? For example:

"I like BBW. I'm not into 'twiggies'." "I'm not into hugging skin and bones."

OR

"I don't like fat people, they jiggle too much."

Did we forget to take muscle mass and muscle tone into consideration? You can have a little extra fat and be well-muscled. You can be trim and have good muscle tone. I don't think a thin person with good muscle-tone could be called 'skin and bones'. An annorexic, yes. But an athletic person? Not if you were honest.

And then there's the fact that everyone has their own body-build. Some are literally bigger boned. Some have small bones. Some build muscle easily and some do not. People have different health issues, eat differently, have different metabolism rates...

As for me personally... I'm not technically 'over-weight' at 125 pounds although I do consider myself to be out of shape. I should probably weigh between 118 and 120, but my main issue isn't so much my weight as it is my fat content. I need to transfer my mass from fat to muscle. *shrug* Simple fact. Am I bothered by my 'flabby' areas? Yes, I am. I have issues with my looks. That's just something I have to deal with.

And once I'm in good shape? I'll still have issues with my face, but I won't complain much about my body in general. Okay, so my boobs are small. That's life. All the better to run or climb trees, I suppose. Less to get in my way.

zuma

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:19:01 AM

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From: Washington, DC Metro Area
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Gee, i dunno..i bet vanilla does too...male and fem

Come to think of it -- is it possible the human race attracts it's share of overweight, skinny, lean, and just right people as well...

Go figure!!!

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When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to hizgeorgiapeach)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:20:12 AM

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Joined: 5/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

I too was a little confused as to why that warning was sent. I liked your question six, and i'm glad someone posted it.

I'm sorry that people took offense to it, when it wasn't meant that way. That people were close minded and couldn't figure out that it was an innocent question.

I guess it's how a question is asked. If I were to begin a thread asking, "Why do so many (Insert race or nationality here) have abortions. That would offend some people. Especially people of the accused race. People generally don't like to be spot lighted. I can't imagine the OP going to a Munch, looking around and shouting. "Hey! Why are soooo many fat chicks here?"

I guess it's the same. Maybe not.

(in reply to litleone8620)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:20:12 AM

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Joined: 6/6/2006
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I've seen threads haul ass before.. but this one just took first prize... 10 pages in less than 3 hours... DAMN!

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RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:20:28 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn
Because to single out a particular group/type of person, particularly a group that is outside the societal norms of what constitutes acceptability (and who moreover are frequently subject to various forms of personal, social, professional and other forms of rejection), and inquire why there are so many of them doing "x," does indeed imply a criticism.

Um...just in case you didn't notice, everyone in this lifestyle is outside of the societal norms of what constitutes acceptablity. Does that make all questions pertaining to why so many of us are doing "x" criticisms?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:22:42 AM

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Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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But what was asked, wasnt a personal attack. It wasnt aimed at anyone and it wasnt derogatory.

It was a question - an observation.

All posts are 'aimed' at a particular group or fetish or section. Thats really a poor excuse for making something into a personal insult or insinuating its a personal attack on a minority/majority.

THe OP isnt responsible for how people take his question. People are responsible for themselves.
Even in Ds - especially in BDSM on the whole.
Why do people just not get that?
(Erin - help me out hereeeeeeeeee)

Peace and Rapture

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...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:27:04 AM

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From: UK
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quote:

I can't imagine the OP going to a Munch, looking around and shouting. "Hey! Why are soooo many fat chicks here?"

I guess it's the same. Maybe not.

No - But I have been to a group where a person commented on how good it was to be somewhere that had 'real women' that could appriciate their natural selves.

Which comments more insulting?

Damn twice - where are you - is this a PC issue?

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to LiliesDoGrow)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:27:51 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows
(Erin - help me out hereeeeeeeeee)

I have been beating my head against a brick wall here on collarme for the last couple of years now trying to get people to understand the concept of personal responsibility.....with very little success I might add....and somehow you expect that I can magically make those light bulbs suddenly click on just because you ask. Well I might be Irish but I'm not the Lucky Charms frigging leprechaun.....LMAO. I wish I could dark....I REALLY wish I could.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:28:44 AM

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six -

As one who has yet to put in my 2 cents' worth - I hadn't noticed a preponderance of BBWs in the lifestyle. But I HAVE been extremely surprised by the number of submissive males who are attracted to BBWs. They seem to feel our bulk only adds to our sense of Domination.

So, that being the case, maybe the question shouldn't be why we're IN the lifestyle, but why do we STAY in the lifestyle. The answer? There's an obvious need/demand for us.

Mistress Gea

< Message edited by newdombbw -- 6/27/2006 11:30:00 AM >

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RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:29:17 AM

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Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
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Yep, you are right. He's not responsible for how people "take" his question. Therefore, I can take offense at his question if I so desire. Therefore further, if you or he wants to take offense at my taking offense, that's not my responsibility, but yours :)

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(in reply to darkinshadows)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:31:32 AM

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You can't post on this thread any more without repeating yourself, and i've been on a broken record for the past 5 pages or so.

You can compliment someone without critisizing someone else. The OP was taken as a critizism, and everyone ran with it that way.

The OP wasn't a critizism. The posters took it that way. They saw what they wanted to see, and was blind in their responses. It's not the OP's fault people took the question the wrong way.

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 11:32:36 AM

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moderator has been in contact again - it seems i have been "insulted and belittled" respondents - could those respondents i have insulted and belittled please let me know - many thanks

and lady morgynn - i think all people fart i just dont like it in public - you really are too sensitive
and as to accepting a reaction - i have done - what is unfair is to accept censorship

(in reply to newdombbw)

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