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RE: Overweight BDSM women - 6/27/2006 10:11:07 AM

darkinshadows

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quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

yes the op isnt reponsable for how people feel twords what he said.... but was it something that needed to be said... Is it something that needs to be pointed out... we are adults we dont need to say every little thing we observe aspecialy if it may be hurtfull to people... not that he ment to be hurtfulll.... anyway you know what I mean

So we have to be PC - just so that people might be hurt?

I would hate that someone couldnt ask a simple question - I understand what you mean, but he isnt responsible for how you feel - or anyone.

Peace and Rapture

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Post #: 141

RE: Overweight BDSM women - 6/27/2006 10:15:48 AM

Tamerofwild1s

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Look at all the people reading this thread . it obviously has some weight to it <no puns intended>

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Post #: 142

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 10:16:17 AM

sixstrokes

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I am the op - censorship has kicked in already I have been warned by the moderator that my stay on here will be short if i continue to post as i have done - if someone can point out something nasty i have said please do so
it is a pity that free speech is not allowed in a forum such as this
it is my theory that people get involved in bdsm ( and i include myself here) because they do have issues about themselves - whether or not those issues are valid is a different question
i have NEVER said anything disparaging about overweight people
this may be last post as it is likely i will now be removed from Collar Me for my comments
i have more concern over another thread where the writer moans that she cannot find someone to kick the hell out of and a reply comes back to the effect that another likes their sub to resemble a hamburger after a beating

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Post #: 143

RE: Overweight BDSM women - 6/27/2006 10:16:31 AM

enigmabrat

Posts: 2383
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Honestly I dont care it didnt offend me.. I was just saying this type of thread has potential for people to get hurt!!!
nothing more nothing less... this was MY observation...

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Post #: 144

RE: Overweight BDSM women - 6/27/2006 10:16:42 AM

litleone8620

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I have a question: where in the OP does it say: 'i hate fat people' or 'fat people shouldn't be allowed outside their homes'?

Yes, the question had the POTENTIAL to be meanspirited, but it wasn't. It was just a simple question.

So, abortion is a sensitive topic, does that mean it should be forbidden to be talked about? What a boring world we would live in if everyone had to be PC

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Post #: 145

RE: Overweight BDSM women - 6/27/2006 10:17:32 AM

SweetDommes

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Joined: 10/5/2004
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I'm not a small woman - check out our pics and you will see that neither Holly nor I am. We consider ourselves to be BBW - but we know that not everyone agrees with that 'title.' We are, for the most part, comfortable with who we are and what shape we are in. I am trying to lose some weight because of some knee issues, but not because of how I look. I know plenty of people who are bigger/smaller/same size as I am who are perfectly content with who they are and the shape they are in - and just as many who are bigger/smaller/same size and are miserable because they have been told their whole lives that it isn't good enough.

I think that mostly, the fact that there are so many overweight people (men and women) in BDSM is because there are just so many overweight people around today. Another part of it is the perception that people involved in BDSM are more accepting (which, I think we are ... but only barely).

However, with all that said - and with all of you knowing that I am not a small woman - I have to say that I went to a munch a few weeks ago, and was rather ... distressed ... to see that I was, by a good margin, the smallest woman there (there were 5 women there, including me). I know that down the road, if I don't lose more weight, that I will have some major health issues. I was also the youngest woman there, and with the two facts combined, I am concerned for the health of the other women (one of the side effect of my job - I worry about the health of everyone). All the women were attractive, but I just kept imagining the heart attacks and strokes and surgeries that are in the future for these women.

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Post #: 146

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 10:18:53 AM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

...But the reality is there isnt anything to defend. There are a high percentage of BBWs, Bears and larger people - male/female/transgendered involved in BDSM. You just have to look at the local munch, or group to see it.
Now why that is - is a valid and interesting question - not a personal attack on size.

Peace and Rapture

this slave believes folk jump to the "personal attack" mode because it really isn't true or proveable, as a theory, that there are "more overweight BDSM women than in the general population", then it just becomes someone's unprovable personal opinion. what stands out to this slave is the fact that there are an abundance of overweight people out there in the general population(at least here in the US there are), congregating at all sorts of venues:church, the ball game, the BDSM dungeon, the gym, wherever. it doesn't present to this slave as being an intriguing or interesting phenomena, because this slave sees more overweight women and men than at-weight or underweight women and men everywhere, dungeons and play parties and munches included, with the only exception being a vanilla Hollywood nightclub where folks intentionally try to look as sucked up and plasticized as possible.

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Post #: 147

RE: Overweight BDSM women - 6/27/2006 10:20:36 AM

enigmabrat

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HMM I dont see anyhing the OP said that should get him kicked form the forum... But I must say that I dont think people get involved in BDSM because they have issues with themselvs at least I hope not... but i do have to say it is an interesting theory that I dont think can be proved by anyone but a trained psycologist though!!

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Post #: 148

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 10:21:32 AM

darkinshadows

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I have to say that surprises me. It would be interesting to hear why that warning was given out.

I personally believe if you pressed buttons, it because people see the truth and reality in the question. Otherwise, people wouldn't bother responding.

I hope you don't stop posting. Honest questions are always valid. Especially if they provoke thought.

Peace and Rapture

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Post #: 149

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 10:22:06 AM

wild1cfl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMaamNH

Round and round the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel.

If they paid $ per the reply to a thread, quickest way to make a million bucks would be to insert the words "over weight Women" in the title.

I think I'll go back to watching people chase their tails..it's ever so much fun

MMNH
"Let Me lay you down softly, onto the thorns.."

Right there with you on this one, it has been posted and reposted soooo many times. I personally accept people for who they are rather than what size they are.
Going back to watching the tails again with MistressMaamNH

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My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

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Post #: 150

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 10:24:10 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sixstrokes

I am the op - censorship has kicked in already I have been warned by the moderator that my stay on here will be short if i continue to post as i have done - if someone can point out something nasty i have said please do so
it is a pity that free speech is not allowed in a forum such as this
it is my theory that people get involved in bdsm ( and i include myself here) because they do have issues about themselves - whether or not those issues are valid is a different question
i have NEVER said anything disparaging about overweight people
this may be last post as it is likely i will now be removed from Collar Me for my comments
i have more concern over another thread where the writer moans that she cannot find someone to kick the hell out of and a reply comes back to the effect that another likes their sub to resemble a hamburger after a beating

You got a warning too, huh? Seems the mod takes this thread kind of personally. For the record you didn't make any disparaging remarks that I saw. And it's funny that you're question and my statement get warnings (my statement got pulled) but jackass statements like post 8 and 9 stay in the thread. Interesting.

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Post #: 151

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 10:24:55 AM

litleone8620

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I too was a little confused as to why that warning was sent. I liked your question six, and i'm glad someone posted it.

I'm sorry that people took offense to it, when it wasn't meant that way. That people were close minded and couldn't figure out that it was an innocent question.

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Post #: 152

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 10:26:51 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sixstrokes

I am the op - censorship has kicked in already I have been warned by the moderator that my stay on here will be short if i continue to post as i have done - if someone can point out something nasty i have said please do so
it is a pity that free speech is not allowed in a forum such as this
it is my theory that people get involved in bdsm ( and i include myself here) because they do have issues about themselves - whether or not those issues are valid is a different question
i have NEVER said anything disparaging about overweight people
this may be last post as it is likely i will now be removed from Collar Me for my comments
i have more concern over another thread where the writer moans that she cannot find someone to kick the hell out of and a reply comes back to the effect that another likes their sub to resemble a hamburger after a beating

I have just read all of your 13 posts...and I found nothing to be offensive...and certainly not as offensive as many here are on an ongoing basis. If what you said is true about the warning you received I think that is utterly ridiculous. Perhaps the ones whose stay at collarme should be shortened are the ones who do not seem to be adult enough to be asked a simple question without viewing it as a personal attack. I mean after all, this is an adult forum....the basic criteria for participation should at least be that you can interact in an adult manner.

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 6/27/2006 10:27:45 AM >

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Post #: 153

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 10:27:01 AM

marieToo

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Holy shit.

This is perhaps the most perfect case in point I have ever read here in regards to putting words in a persons mouth.

No where did the OP name call. No where did the OP say it mattered to him/her what someone looks like. No where did the OP judge overweight people or those who prefer overweight people. No where did he/she say she doesnt like overweight people Yet the OP has been labled an idiot a jackass, prejudiced, offensive, and whatever other bullshit has been slung out there.

All the OP did was ask in a very respectful manner for a discussion about his/her observation of this lifestyle having a great percentage of overweight people.

What if the OP asked "why does this lifestyle have more than its fair share of people who wear leather". Would everyone who wears leather come out and rip apart the OP's use of the words "fair share". I think if the OP had used the word "majority", people would be just as pissed off.

To the OP:

I may be in the minority ( that wouldnt be anything new), but I think your topic of discussion was a legitimate one and was presented in a manner that was clearly intended to come off as respectful...for whatever thats worth. Unfortunately theyre going to have a field day purging their unhappiness with themselves, at your expense. Best of luck.

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Post #: 154

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 10:28:08 AM

Caretakr

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The mod here dislikes anyone who rocks the boat and sends whining emails from complainers her way. So I can understand it. It's a thankless job,and I'm glad that she bothers at all.

But I do think people could try to be a little less thin skinned about this topic-and stop seeing every question about physicality as a personal attack, aimed specifically at them.

< Message edited by Caretakr -- 6/27/2006 10:30:12 AM >

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Post #: 155

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 10:29:36 AM

darkinshadows

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lol beth, I have to say - seen my fair share of 'plasticized' people in parties and munches too!

(have you seen how breast implants just stay the same shape even when lying down?)

Yes, its a personal observation, not a documented one. But its pretty common. I have lost times I have discussed this subject. Even on CM - people mention it. Theres even threads on losing weight being run - so its obviously there. It could be because there is a BBW fetish. It could be the age of people. It could be a miriad of reasons. But the question was plain and simple - not personal or attacking. So why do people have to respond with insulting remarks?

It obviously wasnt the question - was it the generalisation? Or because it touched a nerve that people know and understand, but don't really want to identify?

Peace and Rapture

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Post #: 156

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 10:30:08 AM

litleone8620

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VERY well put Marie

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RE: Overweight BDSM women - 6/27/2006 10:34:56 AM

redpetals

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Joined: 6/27/2005
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out of a dozen people i have personaly known that have had a heart attack or stroke only ONE was overweight..all the the rest were thin,most noticbly thin..go figure...but thats another thread..
i personaly do not care what the OP meant or didnt mean..this is the USof A and freedom of expression and speech is STILL ours...
HOWEVER..i got the feeling it WAS a slam at fat women...and it's not my insecurities kicking in
just my experience with people sitting safe behind a keyboard..
just sayin'

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RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 10:35:26 AM

wild1cfl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

The mod here dislikes anyone who rocks the boat and sends whining emails from complainers her way. So I can understand it. It's a thankless job,and I'm glad that she bothers at all.

But I do think people could try to be a little less thin skinned about this topic-and stop seeing every question about physicality as a personal attack, aimed specifically at them.

I agree with both points you make here the moderators job is thankless and difficult, heaven knows I have given them a few things to growl about. I do thank them as they do try and be without prejudice when they rein someone in.
Seccondly the OP has not really said anything derogatory about BBWs or overweight people, he just asked a simple question. Please everyone do not take it as a personal attack there are way too many of them in the forums as of late.

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My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

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Post #: 159

RE: Overweight bdsm women - 6/27/2006 10:36:20 AM

litleone8620

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It definitely touched a nerve. I know from experience we (meaning overweight people) don't like being called out about being overweight.

The fact that six even dared to bring up such an offensive topic was an outrage that everyone had to comment on.

Funny, for being such an offensive topic, there seems to be a lot of people caring about it.

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Post #: 160