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make me laugh. - 6/23/2013 11:19:18 AM   
cutiewithabootie


Posts: 88
Joined: 6/16/2013
Status: offline 		A marine a naval officer and an army officer all go into the CIA. They all want the same job.

The marine goes first
"Sir. I'm the best of the best and I want the job!"

He is promptly told to go to a back room where his wife is tied to a chair and to shoot her in the head. They hand him the gun and send him to the room. The marine makes it halfway and refuses. He is told to leave and tell no one. He takes his wife and goes home.

The army man goes next
"Sir. I'm the best of the best and I want that job."

He is also told to shoot his wife who is tied to a chair in a back room. He is given the same gun. He makes it to the door and turns back around. He refuses to do it and is sent away also. He is told to tell no one and take his wife home.

The naval officer is next. She says "Sir. I'm the best of the best and I want that job!"

She is told to shoot her husband in the head as well. He is tied to a chair in a back room. They hand her the gun as well. She goes down the hall, opens the door and closes it softly. All hell breaks loose. The chair is scraping and there is shouting and cussing and there may have even been furniture thrown around. They hear her empty the clip and suddenly everything is silent again.

The naval officer goes down the hall again with the gun in hand and she is furious!

" You bastards didn't tell me the gun was loaded in blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair!"


Ok there is my joke! Tell me a good one and make me laugh lol.
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RE: make me laugh. - 6/23/2013 11:30:06 AM   
cutiewithabootie


Posts: 88
Joined: 6/16/2013
Status: offline 		What did the monkey say when his tail got run over by a lawn mower?


"It won't be long now!"

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RE: make me laugh. - 6/24/2013 7:51:07 AM   
cutiewithabootie


Posts: 88
Joined: 6/16/2013
Status: offline 		Really? No one hase a joke??

What do you call it when Catwoman has a yeast infection?


Clitty Litter

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RE: make me laugh. - 6/24/2013 8:24:30 AM   
tommonymous


Posts: 404
Joined: 1/21/2013
Status: offline 		Two guys walk into a bar.

The third one ducks.

_____________________________

"Remember kids. Just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean it doesn't happen at all." --Hillwilliam

And just because it worked for you, doesn't mean it will (or ought to) work for everyone.

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RE: make me laugh. - 6/26/2013 7:44:02 AM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline 		Convince passers by you are wearing a wig (toupe), by running for a bus with one hand on your head.

_____________________________

Chairman of the Lady TNDommeK Appreciation Society, in celebration of all things Ducklippery & Luxuriant :-D.

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RE: make me laugh. - 6/26/2013 10:31:05 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

ba-dum-tishhh...

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



(in reply to garyFLR)
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RE: make me laugh. - 6/26/2013 10:37:46 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says "Hey buddy, why the long face?"

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: make me laugh. - 6/27/2013 11:17:09 AM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says "Hey buddy, why the long face?"


The horse replies 'shut up you bastard & give me a beer'.


_____________________________

Chairman of the Lady TNDommeK Appreciation Society, in celebration of all things Ducklippery & Luxuriant :-D.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
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RE: make me laugh. - 6/27/2013 11:23:27 AM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline 		I was in Africa last week, & a whole bunch of blokes were running towards me,

I asked them what the matter was?

They replied, there's a lion on the loose.

Where is it? I said.

They replied.

We're not bloody chasing it!!

_____________________________

Chairman of the Lady TNDommeK Appreciation Society, in celebration of all things Ducklippery & Luxuriant :-D.

(in reply to garyFLR)
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RE: make me laugh. - 6/27/2013 11:30:14 AM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline 		Another lion joke .

Two lions escape from London zoo.

They're walking down Oxford Street.

One turns to the other & says,

'bit quiet for a Saturday night'.

_____________________________

Chairman of the Lady TNDommeK Appreciation Society, in celebration of all things Ducklippery & Luxuriant :-D.

(in reply to garyFLR)
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