I am a sub by nature. I am wanting to learn how to teach my boyfriend how to dominate me a little, no a lot more then he does now. He has finally learned how to talk to me. And he's learning how to smack my ass, but he is still afraid of hurting me. He can't see himself choking me. How can I, in a sense, break him and turn him? He is ex-military so he is use to structure. I'm needing help.
You don't break a Dom.
You entered a relationship with a vanilla, knowing that you really needed a relationship with a Dom. Now you're stuck with the job of converting a vanilla, with no guarantee it'll actually work.
You're getting impatient.
Forget about him choking you. And it sounds like he's not giving you the sort of spanking you want. I suspect you may be hitting a plateau with him getting Dommified.
As a last effort, give him a copy of When Someone You Love is Kinky.
The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...
Quit fretting. We men love you."