RE: This is most submissive men during courtship process

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: This is most submissive men during courtship process

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: This is most submissive men during courtship process

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: This is most submissive men during courtship process - 7/27/2013 10:32:06 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia

I tried to come in this thread to catch up on it, but after reading this quote...

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
Suffice to say if she represents a "typical domme" it doesn't surprise me that dommes can't find anyone to play with!

BadOne

Holy cr*p!

Reality check time:
The day that ANY Domme cannot find "anyone to play with"...
...is the day the earth stops spinning around on it's axis.

I didn't necessarily agree with your prior statement, Cynthia, but I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't agree with this. I wouldn't have the balls to look Myself in the mirror if I tried to pass that off.

I've always said that if I couldn't find play partners, I'd hang this shit up. Seems like I'm still kicking.

There's a big difference between "can't find play partners" and refusing to settle. There seems to be a misconception somewhere in this thread that because I am frustrated with the way some submissive men approach the courtship process I am having difficulty finding men to keep my dominant side satisfied. This isn't true.

Sometime the screening process can be challenging, but it's more a matter of being "irritated" at what some men try to pass off as effort. This is always my takeaway and I think most femdoms may be able to relate. If I open my doors and welcome submissive men to approach me by saying "I'm looking and this is what I seek," I am often a bit irritated at what comes my way. If I instead go on "pursuit" and find men - often who are vanilla, to be honest, and start that way and convert them into bottoms, I get what I want.

I already have a primary partner and a secondary partner. Everything after that is gravy. I was making an observation. And hopefully encouraging some sub men to ask more questions when they are courting. It's been enlightening! I'm also able to spend more time on on the forums, and now that the NHL schedule is out am planning my travel schedule and this is motivating me to network accordingly.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: This is most submissive men during courtship process - 7/28/2013 2:44:04 AM

Enobaria

Posts: 13
Joined: 2/11/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
This past weekend I was conversing with a few potential partners and a few of them had great potential but they just would not ask me one single question despite me asking them dozens over the course of about 5-6 exchange

I can't count the number of times I would watch him talk about himself, and never get to me!

(in reply to AAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: This is most submissive men during courtship process - 7/28/2013 4:27:01 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

This past weekend I was conversing with a few potential partners and a few of them had great potential but they just would not ask me one single question despite me asking them dozens over the course of about 5-6 exchanges. Literally pages and pages of emails of me asking and asking and them responding and not asking me one thing, just them having the time of their life. And they did not find that to be awkward at all.

Only took you 5 or 6 exchanges to see a pattern? Personally, I don't have that much time to waste, but if you do, cool.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to AAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: This is most submissive men during courtship process - 7/28/2013 5:50:17 PM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia

I tried to come in this thread to catch up on it, but after reading this quote...

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
Suffice to say if she represents a "typical domme" it doesn't surprise me that dommes can't find anyone to play with!

BadOne

Holy cr*p!

Reality check time:
The day that ANY Domme cannot find "anyone to play with"...
...is the day the earth stops spinning around on it's axis.

I didn't necessarily agree with your prior statement, Cynthia, but I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't agree with this. I wouldn't have the balls to look Myself in the mirror if I tried to pass that off.

I've always said that if I couldn't find play partners, I'd hang this shit up. Seems like I'm still kicking.

There's a big difference between "can't find play partners" and refusing to settle. There seems to be a misconception somewhere in this thread that because I am frustrated with the way some submissive men approach the courtship process I am having difficulty finding men to keep my dominant side satisfied. This isn't true.

Sometime the screening process can be challenging, but it's more a matter of being "irritated" at what some men try to pass off as effort. This is always my takeaway and I think most femdoms may be able to relate. If I open my doors and welcome submissive men to approach me by saying "I'm looking and this is what I seek," I am often a bit irritated at what comes my way. If I instead go on "pursuit" and find men - often who are vanilla, to be honest, and start that way and convert them into bottoms, I get what I want.

I already have a primary partner and a secondary partner. Everything after that is gravy. I was making an observation. And hopefully encouraging some sub men to ask more questions when they are courting. It's been enlightening! I'm also able to spend more time on on the forums, and now that the NHL schedule is out am planning my travel schedule and this is motivating me to network accordingly.

Akasha

Akasha, I saw your OP as educational...not as a complaint...nor as evidence of an inability to get play partners. You are bringing up a problem that all females who get letters at CM have faced and offer a solution to those who are interested in improving the situation.

Psst...I've been reading articles you've written for a bit over 9 years, and yeah, I'm something of a fan. I've also sent numerous newbies, both male and female, to read your articles and get some education. (Why should I say the same things over and over and over again, when someone like you has already done a good job of writing it down?

Glad that you have posted most of them here at CM this past year.
++++++

@ LadyPact
Yeah, I know we butt heads on some ideas, lol. Your experience has been very different from mine...as I live in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere.

I'm envious of all the dungeons you have been a member of...folks there have been able to see your presentations. And, from what I've heard others say, these places also host classes for newbies to help show them the ropes, as well as teaching folks how to safely do edge play. Areas that have large, well established kink communities are blessed.

Those of us in the sticks find our fresh meat at places like CollarMe.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: This is most submissive men during courtship process - 7/28/2013 11:16:06 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia
@ LadyPact
Yeah, I know we butt heads on some ideas, lol. Your experience has been very different from mine...as I live in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere.

Hi Cynthia.

Just for fun, I went and looked. That tiny town you live in lists a population of more than ten times the number of people in My zip code. Don't misunderstand what I mean by that because I haven't always lived here. However, as far as regular forum posters go that are in the US, I'm about as remote as you can get.

quote:

I'm envious of all the dungeons you have been a member of...folks there have been able to see your presentations. And, from what I've heard others say, these places also host classes for newbies to help show them the ropes, as well as teaching folks how to safely do edge play. Areas that have large, well established kink communities are blessed.

It would be really wrong of Me at this point if I didn't say thank you.

Yeah. I miss some of the places that I've lived, too. I'd *love* to be back in a location where going to the munch was less than an hour away or there's an actual, permanent public dungeon that's within driving distance. I'd love to have a MAsT chapter that's less than six hours away. Regularly scheduled munches, etc. In less than a year, I'll be back in the lower 48, and darn near anywhere we go, getting out to the local community is going to be a cake walk.

quote:

Those of us in the sticks find our fresh meat at places like CollarMe.

For what it's worth, I find Fet to be a better choice. It's a lot stronger in areas such as folks who are willing to attend events, etc. It's easier to locate where the activities and events are, so Fet is a little better in that area.

I still do My networking in the community. It saves Me a heck of a lot of time. The investment to benefit ratio is much higher that way.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: This is most submissive men during courtship process - 8/2/2013 8:34:07 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

This past weekend I was conversing with a few potential partners and a few of them had great potential but they just would not ask me one single question despite me asking them dozens over the course of about 5-6 exchanges. Literally pages and pages of emails of me asking and asking and them responding and not asking me one thing, just them having the time of their life. And they did not find that to be awkward at all.

Only took you 5 or 6 exchanges to see a pattern? Personally, I don't have that much time to waste, but if you do, cool.

What can I say... some ppl never learn from their mistakes.

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: This is most submissive men during courtship process - 8/3/2013 5:58:32 PM

speakslittle

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/29/2013
Status: offline

Hilariously (and perhaps unfortunately) coincidental to the OP: I just sent an email to someone in my area who/whom I thought sounded interesting.
And I think I totally trip over OP's points. I didn't ask a single question about the other person. 'twas not intentional. I do wish to learn about them. I just thought, as an opening salvo, get some of my damage out of the way (smoking and fat). Then, if the conversation continues, I'll take time for give and take.

< Message edited by speakslittle -- 8/3/2013 6:03:01 PM >

(in reply to AAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: This is most submissive men during courtship process - 8/3/2013 7:37:36 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi
Was this supposed to be an example of a sweeping generalization, because if it is, it's a pretty good one. Maybe you should be asking yourself why you seem to always draw the same type of person instead of trying to paint them all the same.

This was my thought also. Hell, I find myself agreeing with SailingBum on this one which is always concerning *laughs*

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to thishereboi)

Profile

Post #: 48