How many times have you thrown away your toys?

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How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/2/2013 10:08:16 PM

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Lots of kinky people (especially male subs I have found) go through periods where they either feel they are weird and throw away their toys, or they put them away as the desires subside and then later find them and think - hmm, I haven't had interest lately, I will just toss this box. And then, of course, the desires come back.

Have you thrown away your toys, out of self disgust or another reason? or hiding them, and worried about getting caught? Or moving to a new place and realizing you can't hide them?

Have you had periods of time where you are "not that interested" for some reason, and what is the longest period of time was it?

I tend to re-buy toys a lot. That's a bad habit.

Akasha

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/2/2013 11:18:03 PM

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The only toys that I've ever thrown away have been those that are no longer serviceable or some item that no longer had good energy about it. Once a paddle is broken, or a flogger could no longer stand the test of time, (because, like most folks, I started with cheap stuff that I could afford) I would ditch them. I never had a collection that I decided to toss just because I lost interest. I don't know how accurate this might be, but as a leather person, I don't just toss stuff because "play" isn't the current status quo. A "toy" to a leather person isn't just about the scenes we can conduct with it. It is also connected to our history. Where we have been. The people who touched our lives. Moments in time that mattered to us in connection with other human beings. Our "toys" to us are what other folks would feel about photographs or certain old books. We associate them with this thing that is often called "the spirit of leather," which often incorporates every emotional attachment that comes along with it. From the craftsmanship, love, and dedication that went into making it, to the moment we felt it in our hand feeling our bond with it, to the first and every time that we have used it, to what we have done with it. No. We don't necessarily dispose of it as trash, as it becomes a part of our own history. It's a physical object that exemplifies were we have been, what we have experienced, and what our leather self has become.

Have I hid them and been afraid of being caught? Yep. Our moves (geographically) are associated with My husband's career. Of course that is a concern! Unlike some other folks, we can't exactly pack stuff up on our own and just have the movers haul the boxes. They check them all. Moving from CA to Alaska was the biggest challenge because *everything* had to be shipped, which means the moving company has to log the *reason* for it being shipped. To this day, I honestly believe that My fire cupping and acupuncture supplies were allowed to be shipped to what is considered an "overseas tour" because I associated them with Chinese medicine.

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/2/2013 11:28:38 PM

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My toys I've only ever got rid of once they've broken and cannot be repaired, whilst I don't advertise myself as kinky I don't feel weird about it anymore - I've met too many similarly kinky souls that are completely normal!

I never really owned any toys though before entering the BDSM scene, though I did collect photos and magazines that I would periodically get rid of due to feeling shame and a slight disgust with myself.

As for not being interested, there have been times my depression has flared up badly and I would take a break to collect my head together. During these times though I would basically not be interested in doing anything at all, not just BDSM.

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/2/2013 11:43:32 PM

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I'm too frugal to just throw away something of value.

There are some toys that I bought ~10 years ago that I haven't used in a long, loooong time, but I would never throw them out.

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/2/2013 11:48:16 PM

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Threw away my Hitachi...like an idiot.
Won't do that again!

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/2/2013 11:58:23 PM

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Yes, I have thrown them out in the past. There were a few times, for different reasons. One of which, I did feel a bit ashamed for having owned them. That feeling would pass rather quickly and I'd find myself replacing the items.
I've realized I was just throwing money in the trash since I'd always replace them. I decided to save money, get over myself and just embrace the fact that I love my toys. Now, I can concentrate on buying something new, different and shiny to add.

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/3/2013 12:03:23 AM

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I have thrown away a few paddles in my life but only because I broke them over someone's ass.
I will give away gear that doesn't suit me or that I stopped using because I upgraded .
Otherwise I keep my stuff because I have never felt the urge to quit fulfilling my urges so I still have two pieces of gear from 1971.

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/3/2013 12:45:48 AM

MistressDarkArt

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tantail57

Threw away my Hitachi...

BLASPHEMY!!

(You might have kept it to use on your, errr...neck, or shoulders.

)

To answer the OP: nope, haven't gotten rid of stuff for any reason other than something's worn out, can't be repaired, or I found out it's made from harmful materials (the jelly stuff).

I had a sub who repeatedly went through the phases you describe. Every time he was on the wagon, he'd sheepishly hand over all his toys and go back to vanilla land. A few weeks or maybe a month later, he'd get his groove back and I'd give him a list of what to get next.

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/3/2013 1:52:53 AM

CynthiaWVirginia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Lots of kinky people (especially male subs I have found) go through periods where they either feel they are weird and throw away their toys, or they put them away as the desires subside and then later find them and think - hmm, I haven't had interest lately, I will just toss this box. And then, of course, the desires come back.

Have you thrown away your toys, out of self disgust or another reason? or hiding them, and worried about getting caught? Or moving to a new place and realizing you can't hide them?

Have you had periods of time where you are "not that interested" for some reason, and what is the longest period of time was it?

I tend to re-buy toys a lot. That's a bad habit.

Akasha

I haven't thrown out any kinky toys. When my son was under 18, yeah, I was very discreet and kept them hidden in several bags in my closet. Back then, yes, I was worried about "getting caught", "outed" as kinky. I've made a lot of thuddy and stingy ribbon, rubber, etc., floggers and have gifted some to several people, but those are the only ones I've "gotten rid of".

Moving was easy because I packed and moved my own stuff.

Yes, I've had many periods of time when I was not interested, especially during my first two years. I think my disinterest was more of a "screw this!" type of burnout...rather than D/s not being able to ring my bell. These haven't lasted long, maybe several months.

I've known a lot of people who have dramatically left, given all their stuff away, then several months or years later we're both grinning and laughing...they're back in the lifestyle.

< Message edited by CynthiaWVirginia -- 8/3/2013 1:55:47 AM >

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/3/2013 2:49:35 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Have you thrown away your toys, out of self disgust or another reason? or hiding them, and worried about getting caught? Or moving to a new place and realizing you can't hide them?

There's a few articles about this online I've seen, they were calling it purging. I have had these purges over the years for all of the above reasons (in one form or another). My first purge was at about 17 when I was just freaked out by what I had amassed and as at that time I didn't really know what I was doing in bdsm, I threw it all away. (2 bin bags of gorgeous leather restraints and stuff) Slowly over the next few years I built up stuff again only to do the same. This cycle kind of repeated itself for various reasons, including just not wanting to engage in it, until my last purge which was when I split with my gf. It didn't feel right to keep them as they were personal to our relationship to me. They weren't just handcuffs/whips etc, they were our handcuffs/whips etc.

Now that I have met folk here and hopefully at more munches, if I ever feel the need for a purge, I can now send the stuff to a good home :-) It's a crying shame to actually take it to the tip.

The only reason I think I'd purge now is just to freshen up what I have or to let go of things that don't quite tick my boxes (how they feel when on).

You sometimes have go go through lots of kit until you find the right one for you too. I had a session once where I asked to try lots of different ball gags. Out of the 7-8 tried, one of them fitted like a glove, perfect size and placement, couldn't spit it out and it didn't need to be tight. Some of the other gave me jaw ache within 5 mins and these are the types of things I will purge now.

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/3/2013 3:05:12 AM

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When I entered my last relationship, he didn't like the thought of using anything on me that had been used in the past by someone else.
So we started out fresh with all new things.
I haven't done it yet, but I will most likely throw out all of the things we collected in the years we were together because they have memories .
I can't even begin to imagine another man touching those things and ruining the memories I have attached to those items.

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/3/2013 3:57:02 AM

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I don't 'purge' toys. I've assembled a nice kit over the years, and only replace things as needed.

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/3/2013 5:34:07 AM

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when I moved abroad and learned I could be deported for that stuff, well ... someone got a couple lovely gifts.

As an aside, the self-loathing suggestion of this thread is pretty telling.

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/3/2013 5:41:08 AM

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I have thrown away canes that broken the skin of a random player/client but canes are ten a penny.

When I came out of the relationship with my long term sub, I gave him every penetrable item that had ever been in him.

When I stopped being a professional Mistress I sold most of the furniture in my dungeon along with a lot of the kit. I just did a BDSM garage sale and was amazed what people were prepared to buy. I also sold most of my Mistress clothes that day, mostly to submissive men :)

When we sold our house and moved onto our yacht, we had to further downsize. The only things we now have are, my medical and piercing kit, my autoclave, a few very special floggers and a single tail that was made to fit my hand. Steve insisted we keep the violet wand and few small torture devices but most of our kit would now fit into a small suitcase. I have also kept some fetish clothes that hold some memories of some fantastic times.

I think the only thing I deeply regret selling was my huge collection of Estim equipment. It was a spur of the moment sale because of a very good offer but a stupid mistake on my part. We have now replaced bits of it but its all much more basic than the original.

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/3/2013 5:48:55 AM

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Same as everyone, I've thrown away paddles that I've broken. :(

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/3/2013 7:05:14 AM

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Anytime I had something that was either in someone or got their fluids on it was either tossed or given to them. I walked away from what was essentially a complete home dungeon (home built St. Andrew's cross, whipping bench, etc) when the bottom dropped out on me years ago. I'm sure my former landlord had valid questions when he cleaned out my old pad. I've purged for practicality, especially the antique irons I'd acquired, although I sold those (does that count?) for a good sum.

Because of my time working at the club and the HIV/Hep protocols we had to follow, I never got into the habit of keeping things like floggers and whips, although I have kept one of my early ones because I got it from someone special. Too hard to clean properly, and they're not that expensive when you think about it. I won't purge hardware (cuffs, chains, etc) because they can be sterilized if need be and they can get pricy. When I can get away with it, I repurposed my gear for other uses. Handcuffs make great helmet keepers when you ride, and the chains I have around my gun cases have a pretty racy history.

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/3/2013 8:30:41 AM

kdsub

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quote:

Have you thrown away your toys, out of self disgust or another reason? or hiding them, and worried about getting caught? Or moving to a new place and realizing you can't hide them?

lol... I thought I was the only one to do this. I am glad to see I'm not alone. I guess it all comes down to do you hide your desires from friends and family or are you out with them.

I'll bet most on these boards would not like their deepest desires broadcasted to friends and family and at least somewhat feel the need to hide them. Yes there are a few that are open to all, with accepting friends, family, and employers and don't care what others think of them... I'm not one of those.

Butch

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/3/2013 8:45:58 AM

cutiewithabootie

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I did this once. I was released from a former Mistress and everything reminded me of her. I couldn't stand the thought of someone else touching it. I hated the sight of everything she would no longer use. So I threw out quite a few things. It was cathartic for me.

Cutie

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/3/2013 8:55:15 AM

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quote:

Have you thrown away your toys, out of self disgust or another reason?

In my 20s, I threw out a book that I found disturbing. I'd never done that before or since. I've never thrown out functional toys. Toys I don't use are in a box in Mom's barn. I should probably go through them and toss the ones I will never use, mostly vibrators that just can't compare to my Eroscillator.

My former roommate has a lot of friends who are cross dressers, and purging several times per year is common for them.

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RE: How many times have you thrown away your toys? - 8/3/2013 11:29:33 AM

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I have tossed things out that are either broken or just not in quality condition anymore. I hate throwing things away though, because for me, it's not just about the item, it's about the memories associated with that item. When first getting into the BDSM scene, I used (as well as suffered from) a wooden spoon. Since then, I have upgraded to a riding crop and paddle, but I keep that wooden spoon, because it's special to me and my mate.

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