RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off?

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 1:29:46 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Winterapple
Someone said I was ranting down in P&R this week. I wasn't just
stating a opinion but it's made me a little sensitive that I'm coming
off differently than I mean to at times. So better safe than sorry.

LOL. I was doing the same thing.

That "in reply to" feature has been known to make people take comments personally, at times, without that being the intention. I'm glad that wasn't the case.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 1:34:37 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

FR

One last thought on this topic: I do think that one reason older movies often had better dialogue--sharper, wittier--than today's flicks is that the writers couldn't fall back on the crutch of four-letter words and thus had to find more creative ways to make their points.

I think that's very true, same can be said for the depiction of or no explicit
sex scenes. A lot of classic movies are much sexier than modern ones.
I prefer the 1930's Scarface over the 80's one though I guess a case
can be made the 80's with all its excess language, sex and violence
mirrored the excesses of the 80's. And some filmmakers/ screenwriters
work well with profane language. Tarantino comes to mind. His
dialogue reflects his love of language and includes profanity in a very
effective way. Other screenwriters use profanity like little boys on
the playground.

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(in reply to dcnovice)

RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 4:02:09 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Men - dominants and subs (please identify) -

Is your attraction level (and feelings of dominant or submissive desire, moreso) impacted by a woman's use of foul language (in casual situations, pre-play, NOT while doing S&M).

Like a woman that casual says, "That fuckin' sucks," or "Those bitches...."

What is your first impression? For example, do submissive men find this kind of bitchy sounding woman to be potentially dominant when she's freely using unrefined language? Or does it seem she may be more sexually outgoing?

For dominant men, does it strike a chord that maybe she's a "dirty girl"?

Or taking all BDSM out of the equation, does a woman with a foul mouth turn you off? Oh - here is a good example. Like the way Deborah Morgan talks in Dexter. Like a foul mouthed woman who is totally integrating curse words into her language.

Akasha

The way I see it, if a person upon meeting me cannot see past the occasional, or not so occasional..... colourful language that may erupt from my mouth or fingers.....they are not worth my time. I don't like closed minded prudes.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 4:36:25 PM

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~FRing it~

Meh, not a fuck was given if my saying the word "fuck" turns some man (since this thread was directed at them) off. By the way, why was it only directed at men about women? Don't tell me that in addition to getting issued a penis that you don't have to buy at a store, they get free reign to say the colorful words that my vagina possessing self just cannot say? Bit of a double standard, dontcha think?

I practice discretion when it comes to salty language. In front of your kids or mine? Nope. In front of grandma or grandpa? Mine are dead and don't care at this point, but I don't do it in front of yours either.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 5:02:39 PM

Moonlightmaddnes

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We both cuss at times but to drop cuss words especially in a setting where children are is rude. More then once my husband has told someone to watch their mouth when they were dropping F bombs loudly and we were in a place where there was children including ours. So while we have been known to cuss we show restraint on when and where.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 6:39:55 PM

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OP,
Dom: I dislike swearing or speaking in a vulgar manner... Unfortunately, the world has rubbed off on me more than I want, and I do have a "interesting" way of speaking which I can trace back to being immersed in various bad environments over the years... And not just using certain words... I really try not to cut people off or talk over them, I never use to be like that until I worked at a certain place where our management discussions involved everyone talking as fast and loud as they could at the same time...

I have since gotten rid of the talking fast and loud, but the talking over people has stubbornly remained... Although only occasionally now.

So I'm always working on those things, I am very idealistic in how I want someone to speak, a sure way I'll find someone's way of speaking attractive is for them to not swear often, to not talk over people, to not speak in a vulgar manner, to be polite and for a lot of empathy and intelligence to be evident in what they say.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 6:43:28 PM

kdsub

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After listening to all the women saying how much they like cussing and if others don't like it too bad I just wonder if it could be a generational thing. When I grew up a woman who cussed in public was looked down upon... ostracized and isolated socially.

I don't like it myself but I am also tolerant within reason... but I will not have a relationship with a woman that can't articulate her emotions without cussing.

I'm sure those that use profanity in public, or privately for that matter, could not care less about my views and that's OK... I could care even less about theirs...Just the way I think and an answer to your question.

Butch

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(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 8:41:35 PM

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If there is a reason for it, hey. But if the reason is, her mouth is moving, then...

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/3/2013 8:46:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Is your attraction level (and feelings of dominant or submissive desire, moreso) impacted by a woman's use of foul language (in casual situations, pre-play, NOT while doing S&M).

Dominant Male: Less attracted... substantially so.

quote:

What is your first impression?

That she is a child.

quote:

For dominant men, does it strike a chord that maybe she's a "dirty girl"?

Maybe, maybe not. I wouldn't care. I was hoping for a mature female life partner not a "dirty girl".

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/4/2013 12:03:54 AM

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I would think that most sub men would find it attractive... while most dom men would not. That is, when we're talking about romantic attractions... In friendship, I don't really care. Too much swearing can be distasteful, I think, although it could be funny. Outside of BDSM, I absolutely do not care... whether she swears or not.

As for me (dom), I would prefer a more traditional "good girl"... so absolutely no swearing, unless in the context of sex like "Fuck me". If she swears, then she would be punished. So yeah, VERY much a turn-off...

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/4/2013 2:07:42 AM

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Good question and something that I think about from time to time.

A reference to compatibility was made in an earlier post, while I do not expect my female partners to swear as much as I do, for some reason I find that if my partner does not swear at all I tend to question how well suited we are. As a Dom, normally within a play session it's true I would not expect my partner to swear as everyone is in a different headspace, but when you move onto straight sex, 'foul' language becomes very much a turn on.

At work I have to be quite polite as it is a customer facing role and quite interactive, so I find that behind the scenes and in private I do swear a lot but not in a crazy 'Debra Morganish' way. It is quite eye opening to read some of the posts where it has been said that they have an acute dislike for people who swear at all! I don't think that I am a bad person for it, and I can control it in social situations....I hope!

(in reply to JustAMas)

RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/4/2013 2:35:08 AM

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I don't base whether I like or dislike someone on swearing, I like people from all walks of life. I might dislike their choice of words, and if they are at my house I might even ask for them to tone it down, such as a pool party we had and the boys ( teenage birthday) got rowdy, cussing loudly in play, and playing some seriously explicit rap music, so I sensored then, out of respect of the neighbors for the most part, not to be a lil miss priss and the downer of the party.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/4/2013 7:27:35 AM

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If i'm at work and someone codes in front of me, more often than not, I drop the f bomb. And if I stub my toe, a shit is going to go flying into the ether.
However, in talking about the garden, I don't think that swearing when describing the pretty bird, or the wasp is appropriate or necessary.
I don't want to listen to someone swear just for the shock value - and don't tell me that it isn't for shock value. What else could it be for?
Habit? Why did you start in the first place? Probably because your parents told you not to..............................
Because you like the way fuck sounds in the mouth?

I grew up on a dairy farm and there were times when the air was blue because of the descriptive terms being directed at the dog. It isn't shocking , its just...... unimaginative.

and I guess if you say anything that comes into your mind you could be considered "honest". Of course, if you don't swear at work, but do at home then you really do have an internal censor, you just choose not to use it in certain situations, so "honest" - not so much.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/4/2013 8:29:36 AM

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I am of the time, and mind, that while there are certainly occasions where it would be hard to refute the value of a well-timed, well-placed expletive, anything much in excess of that might be considered to have its source in rebellion, anti-authoritarianism, a desire to impress peers or disconcert others.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/4/2013 12:27:26 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls
I am of the time, and mind, that while there are certainly occasions where it would be hard to refute the value of a well-timed, well-placed expletive, anything much in excess of that might be considered to have its source in rebellion, anti-authoritarianism, a desire to impress peers or disconcert others.

ROFL... truly a work of prose Dusky and it captures my specific feelings much better. As you say, there's a time and a place for pretty much everything. The second part I collapsed into "childish"

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/4/2013 12:43:11 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls

I am of the time, and mind, that while there are certainly occasions where it would be hard to refute the value of a well-timed, well-placed expletive, anything much in excess of that might be considered to have its source in rebellion, anti-authoritarianism, a desire to impress peers or disconcert others.

Well put!!

I swear from time to time. I don't care if others swear from time to time. When it's a constant in someone's vocabulary, it's a turn-off for me in many ways.

It's a time & place thing for me.

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/4/2013 1:04:15 PM

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Oh fuck! It depends.

If it really is every other word then sure... it might be off putting but otherwise, I think that swearing is marvelous. One might even say it's fucking awsome

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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/4/2013 1:42:29 PM

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FR
I'm very much anti- authoritarian but I hope I
demonstrate it in ways more concrete than typing
WTF online of telling a friend ( jokingly) to fuck off.

And I do like the way the word fuck sounds. I like how
cock and cunt sound to. Short, blunt words that have
been around a longtime. I don't use them to shock or
disconcert anyone because no one I would say it to would
be shocked or disconcerted by it. I think they would be
shocked and disconcerted if I used a slur against someone's,
race, religion or sexual orientation. I think they would be shocked
and disconcerted if I said something cruel about someone's
physical appearance or was abusive to a waitress . Those are
kinds of things I want friends I would have to be shocked and
disconcerted about not ones whose eyes pop when someone says
bullshit.

And a man who would think I was not a 'good' girl based on
my private or informal speech would be way to square and
judgmental for me. To close to the guy who thinks if I have
sex without marriage I'm not "good".

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A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/4/2013 1:56:21 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Oh fuck! It depends.

If it really is every other word then sure... it might be off putting but otherwise, I think that swearing is marvelous. One might even say it's fucking awsome

Every other word could be Tourette's, something to ask about if
she's quite hot otherwise.

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A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
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RE: Women that use foul language - turn on or turn off? - 8/4/2013 2:08:53 PM

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My father's a retired CEO. I grew up entertaining heads of state (admittedly small states), ambassadors, other CEOs and their families.
In that kind of environment it's inappropriate to swear.

As such, I can express myself quite well, and do, without use of vulgarity. To a point that when I once told my ex to go to hell, he knew he had majorly crossed a line.

It simply has more effect when it's used sparingly.

Now, with that said, my brother's first job was on the docks. He was the tallyman for the longshoreman. He came home that first day and frantically practiced swearing so he would get some respect from the dockworkers. He knew he got it right when my mother dropped the plate with dinner in it.

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