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RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 1:59:32 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

zeno

i wrote a post early it is a shame no one saw it i am sure the moderates took it off. I wonder why you so angry and lol up tight. did someone hurt you and by the way what are you a submissive? Or a dom Or i do not think so but i must ask a Master.
How can you desricbes you thoughts which this is an open forum but you making it as if everyone must agree with what you say and think, why is this. You do put out very big words and before you make fun of my writing i am dyslexic but i understood all of you words and there meanings.
You seem to be angry i do not understand i use to go to a chat room and they were so much like you never a kind word to no one, they never help the new man or dommes with anything , they made fun of anyone who they could. I do think you a woman in hiding you sound so much like the women i use to speak with. So angry and they indeed stood up all night trolling for someone to hurt to demean in anyway they could. I find you to be just like them, you will say i am sure that oh it does not matter what i think but we both know something is wrong with you, hide if you will i can always tell when someone has a problem and they are hiding for what ever reason. NO i do not know you but i know of your kind evil angry and hurt but something or someone. I hope you will and can change what someone who has hurt you made you this way, i have the gift of second sight. I hope you donot hurt someone with all of this angry inside of you

take care i pray you will not go off some day
mons

(in reply to SusanofO)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 3:41:07 AM

Posts: 238
Joined: 5/29/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

Well, I clicked onto this thread to find out once and for all what "real" BDSM is, but....if Im gonna hafta read seven pages to find out, forget about it.
I just dont have that kind of time, ya know?

I guess I'll have to just keep practicing fake BDSM.

Damn ... i thoght it was just me that didn't know what REAL bdsm was!

_____________________________

Any Dom that believes he is in complete control ... has a very clever subbie.

(in reply to justheather)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 3:45:05 AM

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
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Long live the fakes!

(in reply to Brosco)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 4:29:51 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
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Hear hear! *sets out the Dunkin donuts*

(in reply to bandit25)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 4:55:04 AM

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Wow... no wonder your post was removed if it was.

To mostly everyone else:

What I wonder is - what gives people the right to judge someones post with slanderous attacks veiled in 'politeness'?

Its a post for crying out loud. Its caused a discussion. Isn't that what a forum is about? You don't like to post - skip it. Don't take up pages and pages of crappy pissing contest and miss the entire point of the thread. Just because someone doesn't fit your idea of a 'real master/dominant' then they must be online only, like thats some 'lesser' position to be - do you have to belittle and berat and try to drive them out? Aren't you all just doing the same thing - stating whats 'real and pseudo'?

All these 'wonderful dominants' who are poking fun - let all have a great laugh at someone elses expense. There is a great thread on respect down the hall. OK... so maybe someone doesn't have your respect - but your (and I mean that generic) lack of politeness is causing any respect you are hoping to have 'gained' on the board to wash right down the plug hole.

Witch hunt mentality rules I guess.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to mons)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 5:44:03 AM

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Joined: 3/13/2006
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I'm not going to read five pages to find out what the commotion is about but if the OP is suggesting that BDSM is an ersatz experience, I would agree with him up to a point. Kidnapping, beating, restraining and have sex with someone against their will is illegal so many activities under the general umbrella of BDSM are ersatz. I've never been able to get into D/s because it has always felt ersatz to me. However, tying someone up, beating them on other deliciously nasty physical activities are very real.

Now someone tell me I've completely missed the point.

(in reply to zenofeller)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 6:13:24 AM

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Joined: 11/3/2004
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Well, you have meat..........but only in this fashion....there was no point.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to meatcleaver)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 6:21:51 AM

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Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver
I'm not going to read five pages to find out what the commotion is about

lol...it's much shorter than it was...this thread got shortened by about three pages of commotion last night....a step in the right direction???

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to meatcleaver)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 6:45:32 AM

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Since when does "another" mean one or the other?

_____________________________

I wanted to put in my 2 cents but I only have a dollar. Do you have change?

The pain is free. Do not pick the scab.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 6:58:14 AM

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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This answers your question: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/another

As I said in my original to you, it was your statement as a whole that suggests one or the other. I never said that just using the word 'another' did.

< Message edited by MrDiscipline44 -- 6/30/2006 7:05:45 AM >

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to ArtimisBlack)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 10:58:24 AM

LadiesBladewing

Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
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I do not think that it is possible to determine for another individual, or by external observation, whether or not a given situation is "legitimate/real" or "non-legitimate/fake". It is also not possible to judge the veracity of someone -else's- experience by one's own criteria -- even if one is in the very -same- relationship, and discussing the very -same- items. All of this is completely subjective.

If a person wanted to make a list, and say "If you do these things in real life, you're "real" BDSM, and if you don't, you're a fake." it might add some clarity to the discussion, but it -certainly- wouldn't earn any points from the individuals who find what they do (that isn't on the limited list) isn't considered "real" -- to their perceptions, it is likely every bit as real as anything I or the hypothetical lister do.

Ideally, for me, it would be perfect if everyone would pay attention to their own relationsihps, offer advice to others without feeling the need to castigate them for their choices, and, in the interest of making a positive presence felt for those who live on the fringes of society, accept that life (including BDSM) is as real as we make it -- and it is unnecessary to determine the "reality" of someone else's life -- they'll do a fine job themselves, and it will be as "real" as they need it to be to get satisfaction from the life they live.

ZWD

< Message edited by LadiesBladewing -- 6/30/2006 11:00:57 AM >

_____________________________

"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to zenofeller)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 11:23:40 AM

MistressSassy66

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Joined: 11/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

But really - how does one gauge someone's experience level? It's a serious (and not unimportant) question that did result from this thread topic (so all is not lost, hopefully).

-Susan

I gauge it by how many times I have done it or not done it.
Do something ten times,maybe your an expert maybe not.

I think some of it depends on who you session with.Someone with no experience with something while you have done it for years,would make you an expert.

I also gauge Myself by what My submissives say,react,ask for it again...etc

I try to learn something from every session.You can never have enough knowledge.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to SusanofO)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 11:36:45 AM

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Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

*Just how does one (hopefully accurately) gauge another's experience level?

Experience is fairly meaningless in the grand scheme of things. If someone has been using a bullwhip daily for 10 years, they may have no more expertise with it than someone who has been using one only once a week for a year.

In terms of physical technique, doing something incorrectly for 10 years doesn't mean you have anything more than extensive experience in doing something incorrectly.

Watching someone throwing a bull and not having the knowledge of whether it's been correctly thrown isn't going to give you any information either. In fact, you'll gain more knowledge regarding someone's technique with a bull with a single stroke on your back than you will from hours and hours of watching it. Whether you call that real BDSM or fake BDSM, getting stripped with a bullwhip 'really' hurts.

OK, OK, really hurts me. If it doesn't hurt 'you', come on over to my house because I could use a target.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to SusanofO)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 11:54:54 AM

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

As far as experience levels,this has happened to me.

I have given refferences from past play partners who they couls talk to. And not just in some cyber deal,where that could be faked as well. Phone,or in person. and I was known in a local scene-I told them to ask around, and they did.

Key thing being, I had not fear of repercussions, either because I WAS a fake- or had a bad rep.

And if a top is unwilling to follow simple safety protocols like this-they are hiding something.

discreet often = 1.clueless
2.cheating
3.bad rep.

(and subs need to provide refferences too-there are some SERIOUS nutcases out there.)

< Message edited by Caretakr -- 6/30/2006 11:56:01 AM >

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 11:57:41 AM

Posts: 154
Joined: 6/13/2006
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My apologies, I had meant the techniques to be used in tandem- not one independently of the other. I defer to your definition fo "another".

_____________________________

I wanted to put in my 2 cents but I only have a dollar. Do you have change?

The pain is free. Do not pick the scab.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 12:03:04 PM

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

(and subs need to provide refferences too-there are some SERIOUS nutcases out there.)

Ain't that the truth.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to Caretakr)

RE: Real BDSM - 6/30/2006 12:43:10 PM

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ArtimisBlack

My apologies, I had meant the techniques to be used in tandem- not one independently of the other. I defer to your definition fo "another".

Thank you. I apologize if my original statement was harsh. I didn't mean for it to be.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to ArtimisBlack)

RE: Real BDSM - 7/1/2006 1:52:02 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

Dark greeting

Please do not jump on me! I am the only one to have the gift of you speech? Was i the only one saying? No i was not you writing to me as you said is a witch hunt so now i am the hunted? I wrote what i thought was right i did not curse him or call him names he was and i will still say an angry man. You may disagree with you and this is your right, but i hope you told everyone else off too. I been here on the boards. I have wrote many things, but i do not think i ever have such a greeting as your. did i say something that hit a nerve? I am a very peaceful and kind domme i do not go after people to make fun. I saw the picture he post i work with this people for 14 years and yes they know they are diffferent and they understand when someone is making fun of them. It was a silly thing to do i have not problem with you i do not know you with all respect you should at fisrt ask me why i wrote that post. It is dangerous and i do not care who the person is angry is just plain not safe. do you agree as a dom that angry has not place in the BDSM world to hit or hurt in angry is wrong

Now for the witch hunt i do not hold to this i would not do it this was i think my first letter to zeno and it will be my last. This is because i said what i need to say i hold true to saying what is right i will not put my thoughts in here to make anyone think they must follow me. this is indeed a forum for everyone to speak their mind and place their thoughts here.

what would it be if i could not say what i feel was my post that back Dark did i cal him names i stated something i felt was true he is angry and it is not good for anyone one whom he is in contact with. Now the part of being a woman was said in a way that he did not act like a dom he way of fighting was so different and also i been here i have been in many of the forum i seen respect from all doms they speak in a way that is so speacil the way i true dom would speak i read all of the post before i wrote my own post to this. It was so different then i ever heard a dom speak. I will not judge yet i will be judged this means i wrote what i felt i do have second sight i do feel other feeling, i use this when i am choosing a slave i must know he is ok. If i offend you i did not mean to but as you have the right to tell me off i have the right to say when i feel something is very wrong and
dark i am rarely wrong. I will not go into what i seen and heard during my life to prove i do have this gift, it is private i will say no more one it . You are welcome to write me back and i did not witch hunt him. I want to look and see if you told anyone else off beside me. I hope you did not just pick me. that would had been not fair Dark.

i do wish you well no hard feeling
mons

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

RE: Real BDSM - 7/1/2006 2:15:52 AM

bignipples2share

Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
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< picking out the long john with the custard filling from the donuts and watching>
Thank you Level

~Big

(in reply to mons)

RE: Real BDSM - 7/1/2006 2:20:24 AM

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

Simple definition:

"Real BDSM is what I do, pseudo BDSM is what anyone who isn't doing it like me does."

(in reply to bignipples2share)

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