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DarkWolf6606 -> RE: Question on having someone relocate (8/17/2013 1:10:15 PM)
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I'll pitch in here and relate my own personal experience. I, as Athena stated handled a relocation internationally as well, which does throw in a few variable that don't apply when both parties are living within the same continent. Immigration factors that frown on anything other than basic scholarly or tourist visas initially come into play. Our immigration laws regarding working and/or an extended stay in this country are more severe than one would garner watching the evening news. At least for countries tht would require flight to get here.
At the time due to work related commitments, I couldn't afford to take the time to travel internationally for a personal meet and greet and she couldn't afford to get herself here based upon economic factors. Since she was from a country who's economy was much worse off than our own and I had know her for 5 years i decided to shoulder the expense. I will mention that we did not meet on any kind of a dating site so the possibility of an insidious scam wasn't something I considered. Our meeting was by happenstance and there wasn't a romantic interest on my part initially and our relationship was something that developed over a long period of time. I'm not so sure I would have been so trusting had it been otherwise and of shorter duration.
Regardless, after requesting that she save up as much as she could and I was satisfied that she had made the attempt, I sent her money to help with her travels as there were too many variables to but tickets for all of them. In so doing I did make the mistake of just sending her money instead of purchasing airline tickets but neither of us was entirely positive on an actual date she could leave. There are always complications such as terminating one's housing arrangements, localized travel (trains, taxis, multiple flights, etc.) and costs involved with hotels, meals and such when traveling such a great distance (from Eastern Europe) to get here.
Unfortunately, due to her ultra-submissive nature, when a male friend of hers discovered she suddenly had what amounted to a small fortune in her country, he asked to borrow a large amount for a few days to complete some wonderful deal within his company, she complied and gave it to him. Needless to say, the money was gone and she only received excuses as interest. I was sorely disappointed.
To make a long story short and to also make my point, I didn't write her off as a scam artist and over some time I accumulated another amount of extra cash and purchased airline tickets and sent her traveling money with instructions not to tell any of her friends of her plans. She made the trip quite easily and we proceeded onward with our relationship. We've been together now for close to 4 years and our lives together have been enriched and rewarding.
I just would say that sometimes one has to take a chance and even if things go wrong, people aren't always being deceitful about circumstances. Better to trust your own instincts. Money, though it can be hard to accumulate, is just that. Relationships sometimes require risk and chance to come together. It's the Nature of Life.
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